Thread of Hearts
by themeankitten
Summary: Au, this is a story about long lost lovers, Angel's a cardiologist, Buffy becomes his patient 10 years after, lots of angst, deep secrets, a love child and plenty of drama, warning this is a very long story. FINISHED!OCT 2007
1. Chapter 1

Title: Thread of Hearts

Rating: M

Author: the mean kitten

Plot: this is an AU story where Buffy and Angel are childhood friends, who fall in love very young, and are separated by circumstances, more so, Buffy suffers from a terrible heart defect and is living every day as if it was her last, Angel is a rich boy, who wants to be doctor once he grows up, so he can save his best friend…

AN: there is an nc17 prologue you know where! In case you want to read it…

Chapter 1 "Scars" 

A tread is by definition an act of walking, of leaving footprints on something, of leaving a mark behind. That's exactly what happened in this story…

Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles, lived two very young friends, a boy and a girl. It was the year 1996; March was just starting to bring the beautiful spring to town. Rain was threatening the inhabitants with its earthly fall.

Buffy Summers and Angel O'Quinn, our heroes, had met when they were starting elementary school, he had been in 5th while she was entering 3rd. Buffy had been born with heart problems that required many interventions, she was skinny and couldn't do much exercise, but, she was really smart, Angel had been the bully of the class.

They had crashed together instantly. She had been the moon to Angel's sun.

Angel's mom died when he was in 7th grade, a car accident. Leaving him with his baby sister Faith O'Quinn just entering 5th grade, same age as Buffy, though in a different crowd.

Mister Connor O'Quinn, Angel's dad was an extremely wealthy man, he owned a yacht factory in Ireland. He came home occasionally, just to look after them, but they were mostly raised by nannies.

Buffy's mom was also home absent; she ran an art gallery on Rodeo Drive. Buffy's dad was a lawyer, but he never paid attention to her, or her baby sister Dawn. They worked outside LA most of the time.

So our heroes had in common the lack of consistent parental figures and the responsibility of being the oldest sibling in the harsh city of Los Angeles.

Angel and Buffy had grown to be close friends throughout their lives, until he passed to high school and became a heartthrob. He started dating around, going out with all the pretty girls, becoming a football quarterback, eventually meeting Darla Delaney, a senior who was renowned for her dirty reputation. They started sleeping together, and then they became boyfriend and girlfriend officially soon after, but that was only until Buffy grew older and Angel started noticing her again.

By that time Buffy was taking extra credit to graduate earlier, along with her best friend Willow Rosenberg. When Darla graduated from high school and was received at UCLA to study an MBA, Angel decided to cool their relationship until he could decide better if she really was the woman of his life. Meanwhile Buffy became friends with Angel's best buddy, William 'Spike' Frazier, another student from abroad. He was from England and had moved to LA with his also rich parents to make shows, his parents were TV producers.

Spike became infatuated with the little feisty blonde thing called 'Buffy Anne Summers' awakening the sensation of jealousy in Angel. After years of following Buffy around, Spike realized she was going to be his platonic love forever. He would never have her, not as long as Angel was in the same room with them.

To further complicate matters, Faith O'Quinn was deeply crushed by Spike, had been forever, admiring him since she was a kid in pigtails. Unfortunately, Faith was unstable and fragile ever since their mother had died. She had been in and out of therapy for most of her existence, and although Spike had always been kind to her, he viewed her as his little sister, caring as much, and exactly the same, as Angel did.

All things and details important about our heroes and their friends said, we must begin now to tell our story, which will initiate at the point where fate made a turning point in their lives.

**zzz**

September 2005 

**Nine years have gone by since Angelus O'Quinn graduated from High School. His sister Faith, who was mentally unstable, had recently been seen drinking and driving near Santa Monica.**

**zzz**

"Good morning, dear." Darla wasn't much of a morning person. When she awoke she jumped into the bathroom, overtly conscious of her disheveled looks. She had never been the kind of lover who could be spontaneous about sex…or _anything else for that matter_.

Her favorite times were too elaborate; candles, dinner, champagne, naughty lingerie, hours of foreplay, a detailed schedule, and always at night. It was never more than once and rarely more than once every couple of weeks.

Angel, on the other hand, was Mr. Spontaneity. A sweet romp in the middle of the night, a little office action, or even a bathroom quickie, anything that happened without setting a date a week in advance was perfect in his mind. They were at different ends of the spectrum and Darla's methods were constantly killing his sex drive. Angel constantly wondered exactly _why_ he had married her.

By the time he was married and thoroughly shackled to the woman, he just didn't have the energy to get a divorce. Money and assets were not very important to either of them—they had them in abundance—but, he wanted children, he wanted a family. Basically he just wanted someone that was on the same page as he was.

He had thought that in time Darla would realize how good he was, how much he cared about her. How he'd given her a second chance to redeem herself in his eyes for all the trouble she caused before they were even married. Either she didn't realize it, or she wouldn't admit it. Either way, things just went downhill from the very beginning of their marriage.

Darla cheated on him and he knew it. In the last six months they had intercourse four times, a record of celibacy for Angel. Yet every week she had new jewelry, expensive clothes, and waves of sudden happiness that were too obvious to conceal. And it wasn't his money she was spending.

"You are going to be late for work." She was curt as usual, but something about her was different, she looked as if she was hiding something.

"I don't have any appointments in the morning, just surgery at two o'clock in the afternoon. I was thinking we could take a short trip to the beach, get some sun?" Angel replied.

She looked sincerely outraged. "Are you nuts? Heard of skin cancer? Besides I have an appointment with my manicurist, she'd kill me if I cancelled. Sorry honey, you'd have to give me a rain check."

Angel knew he would never be satisfied with Darla. But the idea of dating again was thoroughly daunting. The idea of being single, and all that came with it was such a sobering thought for him, that it was depressing. What was that old saying: 'better the devil you know, than the one you don't?'

"I didn't think you'd go anyway." Angel muttered under his breath. Walking over to his closet, he took out his slacker outfit; faded old jeans, a light blue t-shirt, a khakis jacket and some sneakers. He didn't bother shaving; he'd do that later.

It was such a nice sunny day, that he decided to take a stroll down the street, all by himself. He never would've imagined a life of that much loneliness when he was younger. His dreams always consisted of being surrounded by loved ones. Even when he was a kid, he could picture himself playing ball with his son, going together to the beach or just hanging out. But, it just wasn't his reality. _This_ was. Angel sighed; maybe he should get a dog.

"See you later then. Wear a hat it's really sunny out there. We wouldn't want you to get all wrinkled." He listened to her superficial advice and grudgingly put on the baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses.

The street was busy with kids waiting for the school bus, people walking their dogs, riding their bikes, some skaters scraping the asphalt with the sound of silicon wheels, all so natural to a good family neighborhood, an all American suburb. He felt choked, short of breath. He wasn't getting any younger and life just seemed to be passing him by. Kind of like that Jewel song "Standing Still."

He wondered how other people could be so happy. Or more importantly why wasn't _he_ happy. But he knew that answer. _He had let her go_. He knew even then that he would never be as happy as he was in the days that he spent with Buffy, all those years ago. He remembered how much she loved Jewel. Her favorite song had been "Foolish Games", so classic, just like her.

He needed this walk. He needed to breathe the fresh air, to clear his mind. After the dream all he could think about was how miserable and depressing his life was. How unloved and cold he felt and how everything reminded him of Buffy, his long lost love.

zzz

"I'm sorry to call you Doctor O'Quinn, but you have to come to the hospital right away, it's an emergency" He had just walked back in the door when the phone rang. The nurse didn't give a reason for her urgency she just said that it was an emergency. Since he was on call he didn't hesitate or ask questions, time was of the essence. He grabbed his car keys and headed to the hospital.

zzz

Angel was a Cardiologist and he was the head of the Department of Cardiovascular Surgery at UCLA Santa Monica. He was a full time physician and surgeon with lots of money and old Hollywood charm. He was, for all intended purposes, quite a catch. In fact, if it weren't for his nasty temper and his almost neurotic sense of professionalism and perfectionism, he would probably have a string of nurses as lovers crawling at his back—which he had had—just that it didn't _do it_ for him anymore. He wanted more. But, his overbearing attitude overshadowed his good looks, so he didn't exactly shine at the dating department.

He didn't know where his bad reputation had come from. He hadn't always been like this. Yes, he was a perfectionist when it came to his job. But he had to be. People depended on him; their lives depended on him. Didn't people realize that? But for whatever reason, he was labeled the black devil at the hospital. He knew the only reason he got anyone to assist him, was because they were all afraid to deny him anything.

They were too afraid that he would rip their heads off. Oh! They respected him greatly as a doctor, but as a human—as a man—they thought he was nothing but cruel and mean toward anybody that wasn't his patient.

It always baffled him, this contradiction of who and what he was. Because he knew that he was not that person. He was capable of love and kindness. He was a passionate person by nature; he had just been denied an outlet for that passion for way too long. And perhaps that had tainted his soul. Tainted how he treated people. He wished things would change for him. He just never imagined it would happen the way it did.

_His sister Faith was the driver of a fatal car accident_. The police told him she was arrested a week ago for driving under the influence of alcohol. He knew Faith, and he knew that she was just crazy enough to do something stupid like that. She never stood a chance. She had been driving an old car that didn't have airbags and when she drove into the tree, her body was propelled out the front windshield. Her neck snapped the moment her body hit the ground.

Thankfully, paramedics arrived just in time…_to collect an organ donor_.

He watched with a blank expression as they rolled her in on the gurney, a white sheet pulled over her body. She was connected to several machines. She had a pulse only because of the respirator machine. She had already been declared brain dead. The cold hard truth of the situation hit him in the face…he was alone, literally. Faith had been his last surviving family member. Their father died the year before—_a heart attack_—Angel had told him over and over again to take care of his high blood pressure. But he never listened.

He had no other siblings, cousins, aunts or uncles. He never knew his grandparents. And he and Faith never had children. And he knew that if he stayed with Darla he would never have any.

Inside, his heart was heavy with loss and loneliness yet outside he was still the impeccable young doctor who thought only of his patients. It was so much a part of him that his first thought was that Faith was young, and physically healthy. She was a good candidate to be an organ donor.

He knew that there was always a dire need for organ donors and healthy organs, so when the nurse handed him the consent form, he signed it. He knew deep in his heart that Faith would have wanted it that way. People could be given a second chance at life from her healthy organs.

People like _Buffy._

He signed the forms and silently said goodbye to his only sister. He always loved Faith, even when she was being completely unreasonable, _which she often was_. But she was his only blood relative, at least in America. So he was basically alone now. Yes he had Darla, but their relationship wasn't warm and intimate. His job consumed so much of his time that he didn't even have friends, at least not outside UCLA. Years back he had been close to Buffy, Willow, and Spike, but they had found their own path. He didn't know anything about them now. Of course he couldn't help but think of Buffy when the nurse handed him the organ donor consent form.

He sighed heavily, his sister was dead and it saddened him. The only thing that sparked some sense of peace was the knowledge that she was better off where she was. She could finally be at peace, something that she had never been able to do while living.

He was so miserable that he actually thought of calling Spike. But the thought of Spike was accompanied by the thought that he could possibly be married to Buffy. And that was just too cruel for his aching heart.

Putting his thoughts aside, he stood up straighter and walked down the hall. There were more pressing matters to think about now, such as surgery.

Being the Head of Cardiovascular Surgery, he was pressed upon the matter. Not that he had to be the doctor _actually cutting,_ but, he did have to supervise, not only because of his role in the hospital but because it was his baby sister's heart. The single last second of supported life she'll ever have on this earth. Yes, he was dully pressed to have a role in the matter.

Another patient was being prepped for heart surgery. Ironic that it would be Faith's heart that she was getting. Thank god he didn't have to do the surgery himself. He didn't know if he could cut into his own sister. He just had to be there and make sure that everything went well.

Then he could go home to his cold and miserable life.

zzz

The Scar 

He walked into the O.R. without conscious thought of the blonde woman on the bed, who was already intubated. His only thought was that he was on time for the surgery. His shrewd eyes noticed that the thorax was already open, the ribs were cracked open with the separators and the various instruments were ready.

The weight of the small silver plate filled with ice seemed to increase—Angel was carrying the heart between his hands, inside the metal box. Incapable of letting someone else do it. That was his sister's heart, a physical part of her that would carry on living regardless of her nonexistence.

"Doctor O'Quinn, how gracious of you to drop by!" Said John Carter, the surgeon who was about to perform the heart transplant. Angel was only there to supervise. He would advise if a procedure could be improved upon, or fix it, in case the lead surgeon made a mistake or couldn't handle a complication. In general he was the most experienced doctor in the room—not to mention the Head of Cardiovascular Surgery—quite a personality at the hospital. The big bad boss, so to speak.

Yes, it was very gracious of HIM to drop by. There were a number of surgeries being performed at the moment where he should have been, but he had chosen to be at this one, to be the one who brought Faith's heart inside his very own hands, _not because it was a part of his job, but, because he wanted to hang on to the last living part of his sister_, he was doing what a paramedic would normally do, or a nurse, or even just another surgeon, but, he was doing it because he felt he had to, Angel was just personally involved on seeing the surgery through. He meant to be sure that his sister's heart was _indeed _ready to be given to _save_ somebody else's life. Not just be a convenient replacement.

Said in a nutshell, he just cared too much. This operation had to be successful, for his sake and hers as well.

The anesthesiologist, nurses, instrumentalist, and residents, gathered around the gurney waiting for the donated heart to arrive, so they could connect the heart and lung machine. Then Doctor Carter could start the surgery and remove the sick organ.

"The donated organ belongs to my sister" He should have said 'belonged' but he couldn't, and the people kept quiet while Angel prepared. It was an explanation of sorts. But it still felt awry to have a doctor of Angel's stature supervising, _whatever the reason_. No point saying out loud that it was quite a sorrow to lose one's sister in a car accident, been such a hot-shot doctor as Angel was. Really, it was quite the irony.

"We have a long procedure ahead of us, so let's begin." Doctor Carter said as he made the first internal incision.

The girl had been long intubated, her head turned to a side, with her eyes taped to protect them from the strong lights at the OR, her hair almost completely covered with a blue disposable cap, in her forehead, was attached a thermometer, one could hardly recognize who she really was, only that her eyebrows were light and her skin was white.

Dr. Carter took his time severing each vein and artery very carefully. It was obvious to all who stood in the room that this was not the first surgical procedure that the patient had endured. The tissues surrounding the heart were severely callous and the scars were hard. To the untrained eye the heart had a very Frankenstein look about it. The ribs were the same, broken and fixed so many times already.

And the girl…She had been skinny, Angelus couldn't remember ever seeing a girl that thin before, all bone and a few escaping hairs of blonde hair coming out of her cap. Around 20 years old, he thought. Not even a hundred pounds of weight, just a bit less than his sister.

The aortic valve had been flawed, born out of the wrong ventricle, the oxygenated blood mixed with the dirty blood on the incorrect ventricle and retreated into the aortic valve retro flushing, causing severe problems inside the lungs and very poor peripheral circulation.

It was called Transposition of the great vessels, with a septal defect. Something extremely rare, congenital…and deathly.

The solution was a major corrective—open-heart—surgery. But, after having received several of them already, the heart had developed an accurate arrhythmia, inducing heart failure episodes—hence the major need for a heart transplant. It was a shame that it was arriving twenty years too late, after her poor body had already been ravaged by numerous surgical procedures.

Angel stood by and watched as the surgeon performed all the steps of the tricky procedure perfectly. In no time at all and thankfully with no major complications, the old heart was successfully removed.

There was silence in the room as the empty cavity waited for its salvation. The patient lay still on the table, seemingly forgotten in the scope of the procedure, and the magnitude of the outcome.

Minutes later… 

"How's the pressure?" The machines started beeping as the new heart began to beat again on its own, the heart/lung machine was disconnected and the blood pumped in and out of the ventricles with thunder strength. Minor stitches were done around the tiniest arteries and veins. Oxygen saturation rose, color returned to the limbs, all cyanotic signs retreated on the spot. Several minutes later the heart was pumping strongly and the entire team sighed with relief. The patient was sewn-up and the surgeons were satisfied with their work.

A life had been saved and many more would be saved from Faith's other organs. Faith's death hadn't been for nothing. So, Angel left the O.R. with some semblance of peace similar to vacuity. Everything seemed to float around him from there as he made his way to his office.

Sitting down at his desk to do some paperwork, he noticed the name on the treatment form and insurance card. He blinked, unsure of the words displayed. He read them over and over again. It wasn't a delusion. It was really she.

'Buffy Anne Summers' 

He almost fell to the floor, his own systolic pressure dropping as shock filled him. He couldn't believe his own eyes!

He had supervised surgery on his long lost high school sweetheart, without even knowing it! He walked quickly to the observation room in ICU, oblivious to any thing that stood in his way.

When he got there he saw her charts in the medical stand. It was her. The story matched perfectly, age, constitution, heart defect, valve replacements, everything.

It was _just_ her.

Angel had to pinch himself twice just to be sure he wasn't having a nightmare.

"Good Lord! What have I done?" he said with as much uneasiness, as he had never felt before in his whole life. He dressed himself properly to go inside the ICU and entered it, feeling mighty queasy for his dreadful luck. _Had to be her_? Of _all_ the women in the world, it had to be Buffy?

He walked slowly to the bed, one step at a time. Sure that his heart would melt when he saw her. He could barely breathe as his throat constricted with his anxiety, anxiety for her well-being and her ill existence.

The constant beeping and the general sounds of the life support machines reassured him that she was okay. But he still felt as if his heart was going to pound out of his chest. It was as if he was the one hanging in the thread…_instead of hers_.

The oxygen saturation was normal, the pressure was a perfect 110/60, and everything seemed to be working alright. Though it gave him little confidence Angel knew anything could go wrong in a patient with Buffy's medical history.

And, he just wasn't satisfied, state of the art equipment and a throng of medical staff wasn't enough…it was _his _long lost Buffy lying on the cold bed in the ICU. With her breastbone fractured completely apart and stapled back together and her body pulled together by seventy-seven stitches across her chest.

He couldn't understand how he didn't recognize her before…and that killed him. If he had known, he would never have done it. It would have been horrible if she had died beneath his hands. Thank God the operation went smoothly and she didn't die.

"Buffy" He saw her hand, small and delicate…perfectly ring-less. Unmarked. _Single_.

He saw her arm. Slim, and covered with downy blonde hairs that were almost invisible to the eye, and poked with the IV that was transferring plasma, drugs and fluids to her body.

"How could I?" He saw the central line hooked on her jugular with such dread, as if he had put the catheter in there himself. That alabaster column that was her neck, covered with stitches, adhesives, tubes, all so painful he shuddered to think how uncomfortable she would be when she awoke.

He saw her face then. Pale, older, prettier, different…so different and yet still his very same Buffy. It hurt him so much to look at her like that and he wasn't sure if he would ever recover from the sting. Suddenly she woke, her eyes opening slowly and laden with hope. His face was covered with the surgical mask and all the swathes required when you where in the ICU. She wouldn't be able to recognize him. Weird how that made him feel better.

"How am I, doc?" that voice, raspy with so many hours of intubations. He thought he would meet his maker then, the pain in his chest made him feel like he was going to have a heart attack.

"F-Fine, you're fine." He didn't say anything else he just left. He was too unprepared to think of it. Shocked. Numbed. Speechless. Impossibly traumatized with the situation he found himself in, that he couldn't process coherent thoughts.

"Nurse, give the Summers patient 30 mg of morphine, she must be in a lot pain. Make sure she's asleep … all the time." The nurse was stunned to see him so late in the ICU looking after a patient that wasn't even registered as his.

"Yes Doctor O'Quinn I'll see to it" He signed the order and went home with such lack of focus he thought he was lucky not to have an accident himself.

Buffy was alive.

Buffy had his sister's heart.

Buffy was single.

Buffy had been under his hands… dying.

Buffy was his patient, here in L.A.

Buffy was back home…

zzz it will continue en chapter 1partB zzz

**Chapter 1 part B…**

**The Past **(Angel's Pov, event took place in March 1996)

_I arrived home with a headache. But, it was forgotten when I saw her, leaning on the car hood. Wearing a lovely blue dress and drenched by the rain. _

_Every delectable curve was outlined and enhanced by the clinging wet cloth. She had that habit. Whenever it was raining hard, she would stay outside until she was totally soaked. She said it made her feel like a part of nature. Of how it would feel when she came back as a tree. Living most of her life with a serious illness, Buffy was just macabre about dying. Every Halloween she'd be a corpse and every birthday she would let the candles burn out and melt thoroughly. Never wishing for anything._

_At the moment I loved her eccentricity. _

_Every curve of her body was drawn perfectly, as ripe as forbidden fruit. Her makeup, which was a mess, only made her sexier, pulling me to her with the force of small planets._

_I felt the pull of blood to my genitals making me shiver all over. I swear to God I wished it would rain everyday Buffy came home._

_Mmm, talk about forces of nature._

_zzz_

"_Angel! Come on! You can't be that stupid. It's a formula…and there's like 3 ways of solving it!" I wasn't but I loved to see her mad. Her face flushed, her breasts erect, her eyes wide open and her mouth exaggerating every gesture._

_"I love you, Buffy Anne Summers." I didn't think. I just kissed her. I took her perfect face between my hands. Closed my eyes and leaned in to her and mashed her face with mine. Not much technique just lots of passion._

_"What did you just say? Have you gone completely out of your mind?" She turned pale, but I just kissed her again, slowly this time. Taking time to savor the texture of her lower lip, the taste of her tongue, the softness of her cheek beneath my hands, and mostly the soft whimpers escaping her throat._

_"I'm crazy about you, Buffy." When I let her go we both sighed. She was flushed and I was painfully erect. The room felt small and suffocating._

_"What—what the hell did you just say? Can you repeat that" she furrowed her pretty brow to me, and all I wanted was to kiss her a million times over._

_"I said I love you. I don't know why I kept it hidden so long. But I'm sure it was love at first sight." I said. She placed her hands around her face, breathing slowly, not looking at me anymore, thoroughly shocked._

_"Since elementary?" Now I was blushing._

_"Yes…since then." _

_She stood up, then I stood up, and we walked around the studio. I pressed a cold can of soda to my forehead. But it didn't curb my feeling of uneasiness. She hadn't said 'I love you too'. And she was pacing the room like a caged animal._

_"I got to go home." She jumped out of the room and ran for the door, her books, purse, and shoes all forgotten…including me._

_Of course I followed her._

_I found her standing by the __car, drenched__ by the rain again. She turned around slowly, the car keys frozen in her hands. She had an expression of been totally and completely lost._

_As I came closer, I noticed she was crying. Her body shook with every sob; she was emotional like I'd never seen her before. I took her in my arms and hugged her tight. She felt young and fragile to me as she cried her eyes out. What else could I do but hug her?_

_"What is it, baby?" I kissed her nose when she turned her eyes to look at me. _

_"I-I love you, Angel…I shouldn't…but I do." I still didn't understand why she was weeping._

"_Am I that bad, honey?" She laughed pitifully hugging herself closer to me, burying her head in my chest._

_"No, you're great but loving me…that's very bad." She spoke the last part so low that I hardly understood what she was saying._

_"Why would you ever say that?" Standing on the tips of her toes she looked me in the eyes, steadying her heart before speaking. Her eyes were swollen with tears and her nose was red and snotty but she never looked more beautiful to me._

_"Because…I-I'm going to die. Don't you see? This is never going to work! Isn't being friends enough anymore?" As far as I was concerned, she still had the rest of her life ahead of her but I could see her point of view was extremely different from mine._

_ "It never was, I don't care about anything else. I love you. And I will until I'm dead. Do you hear me, Buffy? I will love you till the day I die!" I kissed her then. Strong and urgent, barely letting her take a breath. Tasting the deep recesses of her mouth, biting her lips and letting her bite mine, kissing her all over her face, her neck and down to her long angry-red scar. _

"_Heaven help us, Angel. I do love you too! I can't stand being just friends either." I caressed her back and just felt the warmth of her body as she melted into mine, committing that beloved body into memory…for the rest of my life._

_I don't know how long we stayed under the rain making out or what time it was when I let her go home that night. But long after dawn, alone in my bed, I was still reeling from her kiss, feeling the taste of rain and Buffy Summers deeply imbedded in my bones._

zzz

Angel knew he had been dreaming about Buffy and the night when he first kissed her. All those words of undying devotion left between them made him feel as if time had stood still for them. Just ten years ago wasn't that long for the heart's memory. He could swear he smelled the essence of vanilla soap on his sheets, so much as if Buffy had been sleeping in them …with him.

He obviously couldn't go back to sleep after that. So he just decided to go back to the hospital. Faith's funeral had to be arranged, calls had to be made and he just wasn't capable of doing all that. All his mind could process at the moment…was Buffy.

Darla hadn't been home that night, as usual. And when she finally did come home, _he _wouldn't be there. He would have no one to walk him through the grieving process.

A thought occurred to him, Buffy had the rest of her life now and so _did he_ for that matter, but when he tossed and turned in bed the figure sleeping next to him would still be Darla, his very unreasonable wife and not his long lost darling.

_Buffy._ There was so much he didn't know about her any more and some of the biggest questions were: What had she done with her life? Was she with Spike? Was she with another man? Did they have kids? Was she happy in her marriage? What did she work on? Where did she live? Had she ever missed him? What would she do when she saw him again? Could she ever see him as a friend? _Did she still love him_? So many questions left unanswered on such a long night.

He knew only one thing for sure and that was that if he ever wanted a second chance with Buffy, _which he did_, then he would have to get a divorce from Darla.

Needless to say with all that was running through his mind, he didn't get much sleep that night.

zzz

The morning after 

The unit was extremely cold and Buffy couldn't help but shiver constantly as she drifted in and out of consciousness, because of all the drugs, which also had her hallucinating. She thought that Angel came see to her…several times over the night. But that could never be, she was just losing it. She decided to ask the nurse to lower the pain medication or she might have a heart attack. Just the thought of seeing Angelus was too damn nerve-racking for her current state of mind.

Willow came around to visit her at ten am and the ICU resident, as a courtesy, let her into the unit. She saw Buffy's charts first and was satisfied she was doing well so soon after surgery.

"Hello, darling! You don't look like somebody who just had a heart transplant! …So, how are you _really feeling_?" Buffy made a gesture like so-so with her hands. She wasn't feeling real pain just some discomfort.

"Will, come closer I can't raise my voice. I'm losing it. Last night…I could've sworn I saw Angel in here. Can you believe it? Some drugs they have here!" She whispered as Willow leaned in closer to her.

"Get out!" Willow exclaimed. Buffy laughed and pulled the oxygen mask off her face.

"I swear it! Girl Scout honor! Cross my…new heart over." Willow sat at the side of the bed and took Buffy's hands between her own, warming them. The room was awfully cold and Buffy had nothing but the sheets on her. She had Goosebumps all over her arms and she was shivering thoroughly.

"You're crazy! Jesus, it's freezing in here. You okay? …_Want me to call Angel to get you a blanket_?" Willow was a pediatrician so she had a lot of experience in caring for little ones and Buffy's current state was calling to her sympathetic side. But, she also had a sense of humor, so, not joking Buffy about her hallucination was impossible.

"Stop mocking me! I'm bloody serious…he was here…or I'm suffering side effects from the anesthesia, either way, I'm happy…Man, it feels so good to be alive." Willow sighed and the nurses came over.

"I'm so happy for you." Willow said cheerfully. She, Buffy and Giles had come to California from New York, where they lived with Spike and Patrick, to celebrate Joyce's 60th birthday. Buffy thought it would be her last trip ever. So Willow was relieved that the surgery had gone well and hoped that now Buffy would be able to make many more trips.

"I'm afraid your five minutes are almost up Doctor Rosenberg say goodbye and come with me." Willow kissed Buffy on the forehead and hugged her goodbye.

"Wait, Will. How's Patrick? Is he alright? Does he miss me? Does he ask a lot of questions?"

"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? He's alright; yes he does ask quite often where you are, why he can't talk to you, and when you're coming back. But other than that annoying tendency to ask too many questions, he's okay. He's behaving well and yes he misses you a lot! Happy?"

Buffy shook her head 'no', looking ashamed.

"Thank you…anyway, that's not what I wanted to ask you."

"Spike is fine, your Mom and Dawn are fine too, Giles will be coming in here soon and yes, you still got a job, is it that?" Buffy had been living in Manhattan since she was 16, studying at NYU and working as a student counselor. She became a therapist. It was funny, really, all of her high school friends worked in the medical field. She a psychologist, Spike and Willow Pediatricians, and…Angel, Angel was a very prominent Cardiologist. That much she knew.

"No, it isn't. Do me a favor, ask if doctor Angelus O'Quinn works here, I need to know if I'm losing my mind, please?"

"Sure Buffy, but, just so you know I don't think he does. A surgeon like him must work at Cedars Sinai."

That didn't calm Buffy; she was positive that she had seen his beautiful eyes and heard his voice several times that night. That deep, velvety voice and those soulful brown eyes, she sighed, she was not crazy…Angel had been there standing by her bed.

zzz

The waiting room 

The first thing Willow saw outside the ICU was Angel, looking mighty fine in scrubs and a white robe, tall and dark, with a five o'clock shadow and stylish silver rimmed glasses. She thought that it was no wonder that Buffy had fallen in love with him. Still theshock of finding out Buffy wasn't delusional had been great.

"Doctor O'Quinn, there's a Doctor Rosenberg over there and she was just in with your patient." Angel turned around as he saw his old friend Willow. She had gone pale all of the sudden. They hadn't seen each other in years. She didn't know what to say to him. Or more importantly, _what not to say to him_. She realized he was intimidating. With an air of arrogance that befitted a man that knows himself good-looking and is also filthy rich.

She turned around with the intention of escaping through the closest exit. But, he was just five steps away from her. He caught up with her in no time, leaving Willow cornered and anxious.

"Hello there." Willow said with shyness, wondering how she could evade putting her foot in her mouth in less than ten words.

"Well, hello there Willow, _or should I say Doctor Rosenberg_? It's so nice to see you again. How are you?" He hugged her without even shaking her hands first, feeling very comfortable with the red head's warm if slightly maniacal smile. She looked pretty in jeans and a sweater, vintage Willow, as usual. She had been trying to avoid physical contact, but with him cornering her in front of a door it had proved impossible.

She had laughed nervously, incapable of saying something rude like 'stay away from me' she kept her hands pressed to her thighs and her face as blank as possible, but the force of all the staff and Buffy's family staring at her was too much to handle.

"Nice to see you too, Doctor O'Quinn." Coming closer, Willow noticed he had really short hair and was remarkably skinny for such a tall, bulky man. It gave him the appearance of a man with rough charm, kind of like a sexy lumberjack or a jagged intellectual. Such lusty thought went unbridled through her head, until the reality of the situation hit her. She had to keep her mouth shut and give-in the least possible information about Buffy _and her son_.

"So, how's Buffy?" His eyes shined when he said her name, and Willow thought he said Buffy with the oddest hilt at the end. Like he said it chopped…_Buff_. It was almost like it gave him pleasure to say it that way, like it was his way of taking possession of Buffy herself. She smirked to her insides, some things never changed. Thinking about her girlfriend Tara back in New York, she realized she missed men. Having come out of closet years back, a threesome had crossed her mind more than once.

"Better, way better actually, she's in magnificent shape. In fact I've never seen her any better." Willow felt mildly overwhelmed by his intimidating presence looming above her. He looked as if he was hunting for something. He did always have a predatory quality about him. Willow thought he could have been a vampire, if such creatures really existed to begin with.

"I can see that, I guess I agree with your diagnostic." He touched her arm and she nearly jumped. He was working her to get to Buffy, and she felt damn uncomfortable to be in that position.

"So…how's Darla? The kids? The rest of your family okay?" His face changed immediately. The air of playfulness was completely gone and replaced with guarded distance.

"Darla is fine…actually, we're getting a divorce. We never had kids, so it should be easier. How are Buffy and Spike?" He decided not to tell her what happened to Faith and that Faith's heart was in Buffy's chest. And Willow decided not to tell him about Patrick.

"Oh, they're okay, not together 'okay' though, just okay. You okay too?" Willow cursed herself for being so spastic with her words. She didn't want to say something suspicious but deep down she wanted him to realize what an ass he had been in the past.

"My sister Faith died recently, so, you might say I'm a mess."

"I'm so sorry, you know…Buffy is a therapist. You should talk to her!" Willow thought briefly of biting her tongue before muddling the issue even more than it already was. But her instincts were telling her she was doing the right thing.

"I will. God you haven't changed a bit! It's so refreshing. I can see Giles, Dawn and Joyce from here. I'll talk to them after I talk to Buffy. Would you cover for me?" Willow felt that he was acting strangely. But she didn't want to stay another second there. So she agreed, even though she knew it wasn't right to ignore the family. She didn't know why she wanted to cover up for him, except, her own guilt for the things she had done to keep Buffy's secrets. She guessed some part of her wanted him to know about Patrick, but how could she be the one to tell him?

In her heart she had always wanted Buffy to be happy with the love of her life. As happy as she was with Tara.

"Alright but just this once, as a favor. Oh by the way, Buffy told me to tell you to go down on the painkillers, she says she's feeling too groggy, and I think she needs food and an electric blanket. It's so cold in there, oh plus some underwear too that would come inhandy." She was pushing it.

"Alright, alright! Go now. I'll make sure she's fine." Which was the purpose of his mind, body and soul _anyway_.

Upon hearing Spike and Buffy weren't _exactly_ together, Angel felt his heart swell with emotion. He had a chance. If he played his cards right he could have Buffy again. In a far distant possibility, after he resolved his situation with Darla, and convinced Buffy he was worthy of a second chance. But still, hope is hope, and is the last thing an aching heart lets go of.

zzz

"Willow, how is she?" Willow answered the question said in unison by Buffy's family members.

"She's fine. She's recovering very quickly and you can see her later. At least when the specialist permits it." Giles pulled Willow over to the side before speaking again.

"Did I see you speaking to _Angel_?" Willow noticed how very uncomfortable the man made Giles. And no wonder. Even though he had never actually met him. He had seen pictures.

Buffy and Giles had a history of discussions about Patrick's best interest; about Spike's true duties and responsibilities as a legal guardian. Unwittingly Giles had sided with Angel, only because he knew what it was to grow up with a lie wrapped-up around your face.

"Yes, you did. Turns out he's a cardiologist…he's been looking after Buffy." Giles was stunned for a moment but recovered quickly; he remembered Buffy had said that Angel always wanted to save her.

"Does he know about the past?"

"Of course not! Neither does Dawn or Hank so be careful about your words. Buffy will kill us if he finds out." Secrets were too wild to be unleashed when Buffy was so weak.

"That reminds me, Patrick has been driving Spike crazy, he says he wants his mommy back by Sunday, …or he'll come over with his _daddy Spike_ and take her home." Willow sighed, Spike was working at the ER, and he couldn't afford to take a paid vacation in September.

"Don't tell Buffy that, she's already feeling the umbilical cord pulling her towards her son. She's doing better but she's not fine, and she can't leave the hospital until she's totally stable. And whatever you do, …don't speak about Patrick out loud."

"I'll go tell Spike the good news." Giles said. He cared for Buffy more than he ever thought was possible, especially considering that she wasn't even his biological daughter. And he would never betray her or leave her son alone. But, he wouldn't tolerate deceit either.

"You do that. I'll go do damage control." Willow went to explain to Joyce, Dawn, and Hank, that their girl was ok, getting better every minute, having received a successful transplant, her life held all the promise of a bright…and long future.

zzz

The end of chapter 1…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 "Love hurts"**

Hospital UCLA Santa Monica September 2005 

zzz

I Still Believe 

He came inside the unit with his usual clothes, scrubs, and white coat. This time properly identified with his name. Buffy was at Coronary Care (CC). With another two patients and many specialists looking after her, like the big mean boss: Doctor Angelus O'Quinn.

"How's she doing?" said Angel to the Registered Nurse assigned to Buffy.

"Sleeping well, but, she complains it's too cold in here. Her vitals are very good though." he took a look at the records and it all seemed perfect. She was recovering quickly. And the most important thing, her body wasn't rejecting the organ. That was good enough to open a bottle of champagne.

"I'll go talk to her in a minute. Write down this: I'm recommending sending her to a private room in 48 hours if she stays as good as the last 12. And thank you, Lila. You've been very kind." the nurse smiled and fawned as if Angel had paid her a compliment. He meant she had been most kind _to Buffy_. Not to him. It made no difference; Angelus O'Quinn had never been kind to a nurse before in his whole life.

"I'll do that." he walked away with a funny almost bouncy kind of walk. As if he was carousing, not walking into CCU. Truth is, he was extremely satisfied with his doctors ability and even more with his proximate encounter with Buffy.

Buffy had been eating when she heard the familiar voice talking with the nurse. She nearly choked. It was her Angel. She hadn't been dreaming after all.

She closed her eyes when he walked towards her, faking sleep. It was dark and he'd probably think she was resting and go away. She wasn't prepared at all to deal with his return. Still too groggy to mind what she would say to him…what on earth could she say to him anyway?

"Oh, well. Since she didn't like the food, I won't send her anything anymore, from now on just liquids." she opened her eyes and tried to sit up, to complain, food was the only time she could have warmth inside that overtly hygienic igloo.

"Are you really there? Is that you? Are you _Angel_?" he immediately leaned forward and held her body so she wouldn't make an effort.

"Don't move, Buffy. You are still weak, you could easily ruin the operation… and Hello, yes, it's_ Me._" the touch was electrifying.

Her heart heaved and the machines made an alarm sound. She was awestruck to have the man she still dreamed about holding her tenderly after her heart transplant, her head inches away from his. Those deep-set chocolate eyes and perfect mouth just a breadth away from her.

"Hi…I knew I wasn't crazy. It was _you_ last night, wasn't it?" he felt the current of suppress emotion float unstopped in him: love, lust, pain, and fear. All those long lost anxieties coming faster than a rocket. He was startled, not knowing what to say. She had found him, of all the hospitals in the world, she had to come to him…have his sister's heart.

"Couldn't help it. I needed to know you were ok." Buffy trembled, and as she leaned her head to the side, without any conscious thought or premeditation Angel kissed her on the mouth. Just a nip. But, it made him shake too. She had stayed motionless, not even responding to the kiss, just petrified on the stiff gurney.

Angelus O'Quinn, came as a Fenix resurrected out of the ashes of a ten-year separation, and he had just had nipped her! Buffy couldn't believe her bizarre luck; she still thought it was all a dream, …and illusion. It couldn't' be true…and if it was, Why? How could it been possible? She had run away from him years ago. Why would he want to talk to her know?

"You look so nice…so close to me, I just couldn't help it. Besides, you just came back to the living, you deserved a welcome kiss." Angel knew what he had done was wrong, _in all the possible accounts_, she was a patient, not a friend or anything like it.

But, he hadn't been able to stop himself from getting just a little comfort. An innocent kiss, born out of his sense of loneliness, a reflection of the cherished relation they've had in the past.

She paid heed to the unspoken question between them and touched her lips. She did remember, as flesh remembers something lost… and sought for a long time.

A silent tear escaped the corner of Buffy's eyes, she had loved him so much, and every day saw him in the face of their son. She thanked God the momentarily illusion, and leaned in to kiss him back once again. Whether he was real or not, she had really missed him so!

So he kissed her back. Soft and short. A reckoning of flesh. A welcome back to the live and kicking crowd. Truly a surprise in the making, for the both of them, a glimpse of eternity.

When they broke apart, the nurse cleared her throat to signal her disapproval.

"Angel? Is it really you? I'm not dreaming? What happened? Why are you in here?" Angel noticed her pupils had dilated and she seemed very agitated.

"It's always been me. Last night. And over the morning. I hope I'm not scaring you…but, I sort of did the transplant…it was Faith's heart…I'm the boss here." Buffy lay down on the pillow with a terrible look on her face. Angel immediately took his stethoscope out and placed it on her neck. Her pulse was fast and her face was colorless. The alarm was beeping on the machine again.

"You sister. Good, I-I'm so very sorry… I can't believe you did that. That's why you are here! Not because of me, but because of her. Her heart. God, will I ever stop paying back to you!" he motioned the nurse to help him with Buffy.

"Bring me a glass of water with a spoonful of sugar. Quickly!" Buffy started crying without even realizing it. Angel placed his hands around her face. But, she refused to look at him in the eye.

"Listen to me, it's not your fault my sister died. And I'm very happy it was _you_ who was saved. Don't you see it was destiny? Had to be you. Now, calm down and breathe slowly. I will not have you ruin my perfect ten." it seemed bizarre to pick that time out of all, but, he preferred to be the one who told her such upsetting news and doing it at the ICU made it more treatable in case she'd get _disturbed_ with the news. Plus, he was just the most disreputable doctor on the department. His concern was very enviable. Nothing to say of his undying love.

"Perfect ten? What do you mean by that?" He placed the glass of sweet water near her mouth. She had several gulps and the nervousness seemed to calm down.

"You were my tenth major surgery this week. All of them are still alive and enjoying a brand new life." Buffy was awed; he had made his dream come true after all.

"You made your dreams come true, just like you always said you would. Congratulations, Mister cardiologist…thanks you, for saving me. Though, I think you paid a _much too high_ price. Why are telling me this now? Do you want me die or what?" Buffy was jaded now; she was not the sweet loving girl Angel had met ten years ago.

"No, Buffy. I'm telling you the truth now, because I believe you deserve honesty, and because I need to…justify my presence here…I didn't know,"

"How very convenient for you…just my luck! Of all the doctors and hospitals in California, had to be you!" Angel didn't know what to say, it had been fate, he had always been meant to save her, even if she didn't love him anymore, so he pushed a stray lock out of her face and bent to kiss her forehead, a poor substitute for her lips.

She turned her face, the instant he was about to kiss her. Illusions made and broken so fast. It wasn't really about her, but about Faith's heart, about his need for continuance and reassurance. About the love he felt for his crazy sister.

Yes, he had saved a part of his sister, through Buffy, Faith was still alive. What a work of divine justice thought Buffy, after hating her for so many years, Faith O'Quinn had actually saved her life!

"Entirely my pleasure—saving you, I mean—Except, I didn't know it was you …until afterwards." The nurse walked away again and left Buffy and Angel Alone with the curtains drowned around them, it seemed like the conversation would last a lot more than a few seconds.

"This was my last hope. I guess I'm glad you didn't know. If you had, you wouldn't have done it, right?" he stood a foot away from the bed, regaining safety distance. Of course he wouldn't have! Too much risk! He would've never lived with himself if Buffy died beneath his hands!

Some feelings were still too raw to talk about them. And Buffy seemed angry with him. No wonder, he thought, he had completely cut contact with her, never called or sent an email or even a postcard. No matter if he didn't know where she lived, all he had to do was pick up the phone and ask for the number of a Joyce Summers in Sunnydale.

But, he never bothered, so she thought he hated her, and that gave her all the reason to be curt. And Buffy thought he still hated her for the affair he thought she'd had with Spike. Truth is, Angel thought, Buffy and Spike were very much in love, and together, if Willow hadn't said they were not a couple anymore, Angel would have never assumed otherwise.

"You're very wrong about me, I loved Faith, Had I known she was to die so young, of course I would have stopped her. But, knowing how she was, I'm just…_appeased_ to know _you_ at least, where saved… You are fine now. I'm going to get you an electric blanket. Finish your lunch. I'm really putting you on liquids; I'll se you later …don't you try and do anything stupid." he left the cubicle in a hurry. And Buffy was sure she had seen his eyes shine with unshed tears.

She pitied him. It had to be a living hell. Still, he had talked frankly to her. Had he really meant to save her all along? Or was this just a _timely convenience_?

When he came back hours after, he found Buffy sleeping. Not wanting to bother her, he just sat beside her, it was peaceful there, if cold. But, he needed to think; deep thoughts were roaming around inside his head.

zzz

When she awoke, the first thing she noticed was Angel, sitting besides her. He seemed absorbed on his thoughts, his eyes were swollen angry red, and he was shivering. She wondered why he was there if he was clearly miserable. He should have been home. Resting. Making love to his wife. Looking after his children. Living the happy life she had always wanted him to live.

"Where's Darla?" Buffy's voice took him by surprise. He had though she was sound asleep.

"Buffy! I didn't know you were awake…Darla you said? The truth is, I don't know where she is. She didn't come home last night. So, she doesn't know about Faith or anything else. I'm thinking she went partying too hard and crashed somewhere for the weekend…she does that a lot. How are you?" Buffy sighed.

She knew Darla would never make him happy; she was a bitch that cared only for his money and wanted nothing but irresponsible fun all the time. It seemed she lived perennially on spring break. Buffy had secretly hoped she would grow out of it, it seemed she hadn't.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about _that_… Do you want to talk about your feelings? I _am_ a certified listener after all." he smiled pitifully. She meant it. If anything Buffy was a professional. And he seemed in great need of advice.

"Why haven't you called me in all these years?" she lowered her eyes before answering him. A flash of Patrick's face crossed her mind. Truth was, she had never forgotten him. Just a look of his son's eyes and she was pudding. Buffy could have never forgiven herself for keeping that a secret. But, now was horribly late.

"I just couldn't, knowing you were married to Darla …_the bitch from hell_. I'm sorry. I just never seemed to like her, I guess I still don't." Angel stretched his hand towards the gurney, and took hold of Buffy's pinkie, she had it slightly stiff, bent upwards as she twisted in tiny knots the hem of her blanket. She had such a forlorn look for a second there, thinking about Angel and Darla together.

"Don't worry. I don't like her much either. _Not anymore at least,_ …we are getting divorced. I'm afraid we weren't meant to be." Buffy placed her hand on top of his and he laced his fingers with hers. It was a curious exchange, taking place without the conscious sensor of her mind.

They stayed linked for a second and then Angel pushed her hand under the blanket, making sure she was all tucked in. Safely protected from the freezing cold of ICU.

"If it makes you happy, neither were George Clooney and I, …I'm too wild for him." that made Angel smile. He leaned closer and noticed her mouth was shiny and moist, she had applied lip balm, and it was slightly parted, softly whispering to him to take it again. That innocent half smile was almost too sweet to resist it. Almost…

But, he did resist the temptation, choosing instead to gaze at his shoes. For a second he just completely forgot he was looking after Buffy—_like a doctor_—and then, he had to remember to attend to his sister funeral later that day. All Angel's thought started revolving around the finality of life and death all of the sudden.

"I'm sorry if I spooked you. I never meant too. I should have mentioned earlier that I worked here, and that you and I would probably meet under dire circumstances. But, hell, had I known I'd talk to you I probably would've shaved and wear nicer glasses. I'm sorry; it's all a terrible mess. Would you forgive me? You must know I've never meant to hurt you." Buffy sighed, he still look so handsome with beard sprouting and old black, plastic-rimmed glasses. She longed to use her fingers to soothe the mess on his hair. It seemed to go on a million directions.

"It nice to see you again, _mister hedgehog_. I wished it was on a different place _and_ for a different reason, I wished I had combed my hair and wear some makeup, I also wish I could tell you it's all ok…but, it isn't, you had a great a loss and it will be a while before you get over it."

He swore for a second that she was still his best friend. _Mister hedgehog_ was his nickname; she had given it to him in 5th grade, when Angel's hair started developing a mind of his own.

"You can't imagine how I feel right now." Angel allowed memories come suddenly back to life as they talked, as he had always done in his mind. Where she had remained his secret confident. His dream about love.

She was the only woman he had ever made love to in his life! Nobody else meant anything to him, not even Darla. Or the nurses, or the interns, or the college girls, nobody else meant anything. Just her!

"I can't, I never lost anybody close to me, but being what I am and knowing you_ as I did_, I believe you will get through this eventually. But, right now, it's just terrible. I know. The need to get a hold of something certain, the sense of doom, it's all so bad, it breaks you apart, and it's supposed to, because we are never ready for this sort of things, we never see the big times coming, it's what we do after them, that makes us who we are.

We cry because we couldn't stop bad things happening to the ones we loved, because we were so powerless to stop it." he leaned down and rested his head on her thigh, weeping silently, he kept listening to her words, feeling exactly as she said. Sad, scared, powerless and …lonely. It was as if Buffy was turning his feelings into words and giving them back to him. Neatly folded in a package of acceptable grief. Of reason.

"I feel so guilty."

"You are not guilty, Angel; you loved her, and she loved you back, if anything must be held inside your heart about her, is that you loved her, nothing that you did made harm come to her, you protected her the best you could, you loved her the most you could, and that's how she will remember you in heaven, and how you should remember her too, all things done wrong, all past quarrels must be put to rest, nothing but the good and the happy memories must remain, nothing but the knowledge that she's happy in heaven must cross your mind, she's an angel and she's looking down on you right now, making sure you are happy for her."

Angel closed his eyes and the happy memories when they were siblings came to his mind, the time when they went about playing with their mom, when Faith was still his baby sister. Heaven was that place, where they were kids again and Faith was the beautiful sweet child she had been before.

It had been such a long time ago, when his life was easy and uncomplicated.

"Just remember that, she and your mom are looking down on you always, protecting you, wondering why you are sad or lonely when they are always inside your heart." Angel sobbed, it was true, he had always felt his mom protecting him when he was kid. Buffy caressed his head, disentangling the knots on his hair. He had stayed with his head buried between his hands. Overwhelmed by his emotions. Bent over Buffy's gurney. As if time, and life, hadn't happened between them.

"She's always been with you, a mother never leaves her child." she knew that for a fact.

"What about my dad, you think he is in heaven too?" Buffy hadn't known Connor O'Quinn was dead.

"Of course, and now he's even happier because he's with your mom and Faith again, and they are a happy family once more…many years from now they'll come for you and receive you in their arms with great joy, just as the day you were born." he sighed, convincing himself of the truth held in Buffy's words. He had been a loved a child, he knew that much. And hearing it from her, gave him so much comfort.

"When I die, I will wait for you."

Then it was Buffy who was surprised, caught out of guard, not really expecting that! She had been thinking just the same thing. If she had died, nobody would have welcomed her in heaven. Now she had a second chance to live life again. And God if she was grateful!

"Thank you…do you feel a little better now?" he noticed the time, he had to go, as sorry as he was to leave her, he had to.

"Much, thank you so much …when the times comes for me to speak at the funeral, I'll repeat what you told me, if it's ok with you?" she smiled affectionately and sent him away.

"Of course it is! Now hurry. To bad things, quick measures." When he left, Buffy stayed in a state of overt emotion she had never felt before.

'_When I die, I'll wait for you.'_ she kept repeating herself that it didn't mean anything, all souls went to the same places, she was just offering him professional comfort, _although crying didn't come with the description of the job_, she stopped thinking then, too tired to study the implications of the things he'd said, and the tears she'd cried, she fell promptly into a troubled sleep, where dreams of caskets and funerals followed.

He came back to say goodnight after bathing and shaving in the Residents area, he noticed she was sound sleep. So he didn't wake her.

"Sleep tight, baby. Don't let the bed bugs bite you." He kissed her temple with tenderness and she rubbed it over a couple of times and fell back into deep slumber again, not bothering to check it. So baby-like he felt taken.

This woman of physical fragility and childish appearance had the compassion of a Buddhist priest, he was indeed quite taken, he had never found on any other female before such capacity to turn herself into someone else's pain and try to make it better, to care, despite the past, and all the bitter thing that had previously separated them.

Angelus knew it was obvious he still loved her. Question was: Could she ever love him again?

zzz

I didn't believe it Then 

Angel goes home, as he is driving, he has a flashback of his worst fight with Spike, nine years ago. About the time he came back, after getting stinking drunk on Spike's apartment, …where he had found Buffy and Spike together in bed. He had gotten so angry that day. As pissed-off as he had never been before in his life. He frowned just to remember anything about that day.

_**L.A., April 1996**_

_**The day after (Angel's pov)**_

"_You slept with my girlfriend. Got her drunk and used her!" I felt the venom choke me as the sick image of his hand above her naked back replayed over and over in my mind. I had found them together; nothing said or done could persuade me that they hadn't had sex, on that very same bed, that very same night. Just two bloody nights after Buffy and I had made love for the first time, hours after I had left her in that party, where she knew I would be coming back to. _

_That image could speak more than a thousand words said for either one of them. I had found my best friend and my girlfriend together in bed!_

_It had to be a set-up._

"_I did it because you are a prick! You left her alone when she needed you the most!" I had never and would never leave Buffy alone when she needed me. I'd loved her my whole life._

"_When was that?" I had to know, he had to be lying, and there was no other possibility._

"_Wh-when her parents are going to get divorced. She's being torn apart between the two of them!" Buffy couldn't have been hiding something so important as that. She had to know I would support her through everything._

"_That can't be true! She would have told me something like that." but she didn't. And that hurt me the most, because that meant she trusted Spike…more than me._

"_She didn't because you are jerk, a neurotic asshole that nobody can't talk to…and also, because you would've asked her to stay with you here in Los Angeles." Of course I would've. Buffy was a sick child; a divorce could literally kill her. I couldn't let them hurt her like that._

"_Well, you know my fucking girlfriend a lot better than I do, don't you!" the doubt of what Faith had told me was sinking deeper and deeper into me. Burning my lungs with each painful pant. 'She doesn't love you. She'll use you to get to Spike' Could I really believe that?_

"_No, I don't. But she told me not to tell you…she thought you wouldn't understand her going home with her mom… to Sunnydale. And I guess you really don't, right mate?" it was too late, demon was out, I couldn't control it, Feeding it on my rage and pain._

"She told you that? What a truck loaded full of shit! I really thought you were my friend, Spike…you let her believe that! That I'm a monster who can understand her suffer. I've known her my whole life…shit Spike. You've really done it! You've completely stepped over the line! Actually, you erased the entire line! I should kill you, you goddamn son of a bitch!" I screamed, I hit him, I let him hit me and it was all the same. He still had her.

"_I didn't sleep with her and then ditched her for Darla the bitch from hell... You asshole! You really don't see her, do you? She can't even compare to Buffy. She's nothing but a fucking whore!" I knew that. But, how was I going to accept it?_

"_Shut up! I never want to hear her name in your mouth again! We are done…and just so you know, I never ditched Buffy. She ditched me…for you!" I really believed Faith's words then. I don't know why. I never had any reason to even consider them. Except my own demons, I really believed that I wasn't worthy of love, and then Buffy would never love me for who I really was, at least I had the certainty that Darla loved me…for my money._

"_What a lie, you bloody paranoid bloke! She loves you and she'd always will!" I would always be a paranoid asshole when it came to Buffy._

"Goodbye Spike." I thought Buffy had used me to get to spike; even our perfect night had been tainted.

I found sick satisfaction in knowing that I had broken Spike's nose as well as a couple of ribs. But, my own eye will be black the next day and my elbow hurt as if I had strained it. Though nothing really compared with the pain of knowing…that I've lost Buffy to Spike, whom I thought, was my best friend… almost like the brother I never had.

Then I had to talk to Buffy, find out what had gone wrong between us. No matter how much I knew finding that out would hurt me.

zzz

That scene had always seemed surreal to him, even now, years after, he couldn't understand why Spike denied it so vehemently. He obviously loved Buffy. Why not just tell the truth. Why!

Angel thought he would never find the answer to that question. That poignant _why_. It was best just to leave it alone. Go home and get some rest. He had never really talked to Buffy about it afterwards, afraid of being hurt by her words. She had never had an opportunity to explain what he had seen, they had gone estranged, further and further apart, until nothing but time and distance remained between them.

Until now, when he had a second chance to find out, what had really happened between them. Should he had the courage the dig the bones.

Except he was still tied to Darla, to a home he hated, and a job that vacuumed his life into a wormhole. Home seemed the strangest place to go to then. While the hospital was the address of his heart. But he still had to go. Little did he know what he would found at his place…

**Chapter 2 Part B…**

**Thou shall not lie…or deceive**

He arrived early and the door had been unlocked.

A different car was parked outside.

The phone was ringing and Darla wasn't answering.

She didn't hear him come in, softly push the door to main bedroom open, and stand speechless in front of the form of his wife fucking another man. Not pretending to fuck, or sleeping afterwards, but actually having his dick shoved deeply inside her…without a fucking condom.

It was too bloody much. He had known it. But, seeing it was just too much!

That had to be the worst week of Angelus Life. It couldn't go any lower than this for him.

He stood there, motionless, silent on the force of the sexual sounds coming from the pair having intercourse on _his _fucking bed.

Suddenly the man took notice of the third person and turned Darla around to see him. Angel didn't hesitate on exploding.

"Get dressed…and get out!" Lindsay McDonald stood up as quickly as he could. So did Darla, except she only placed the sheet around her and walked smugly towards Angel.

"You're early, darling. Should've come home later, preferably after I _came._" he didn't hesitate. He backhanded her in an outburst of fury. It felt great. There wasn't other word for her but 'Whore'. It gave him so much satisfaction to finally have an excuse to divorce her.

"Or late. Depends on how you look at it…start packing. You're out of _my_ house by tomorrow morning. You and I are getting divorced…_darling._" Angelus O'Quinn was not a man to be taken lightly. He was thoroughly pissed off.

"Our house, _darling_. And no, I'll not leave. You'll leave. And call your lawyer because _you_ are going to need it." Angelus had it then, he pulled her by the arm and took her to the bathroom, pushing her roughly against the mirror.

"Look at yourself! Do you realize what you've done? _First_, you're nothing but a filthy slut. An immature idiot with less brain than a hothouse plant. I've been waiting for you to show up, worried sick for you! Called your cellphone a thousand times, wondering where the hell were you, guess I should've called your pimp!

_Second_, my sister _died_ yesterday, so I expected you to show some sympathy if not decorum in this situation, since I believe you to were _actually friends_, if not inmates!

_Third_, you signed a pre nuptial agreement, in case you have forgotten, that means you have nothing of my money but the gifts I decide to give you!

And _fourth_, since you couldn't even pretend to like me in bed, or give me any children, you'll not get the house, _I_ have to live in. Now get dressed! …And get out! I can't stand the sight of you! …And remember to wear black, you have to be at the wake in 40 minutes!"

"Faith Died!"

"Yes! She had a car accident! Smashed herself first thing into a tree yesterday in the morning"

"I didn't know! God I'm sorry. I should've known she wasn't well."

"Yes, you should've! Though it's really not your fault…but, right now, all I want you to do, it's to get out, I'm too upset to talk to you …presently." As Darla realized she had screwed-up big time, Angel managed to cool down his temper a notch by kicking the wall, he screamed, and some of the anger left him, he could now attempt to think coolly about the matter.

"You can't treat me like that! I'm your wife." Now that he was mildly calm, he could see he didn't love Darla. And that he was probably overreacting.

"You were never a wife, you were an escort. Paid to entertain me." He hadn't try to murder the man on the spot, get drunk, or feel his heart broken on the pain of seeing one's spouse cheating. That pointed him the way of his true feelings.

It had been nothing like that day he found Buffy in bed with Spike.

"You married me! You can't toss me away like that. We have a marriage contract, mister, remember?" Darla had been nonchalant, almost proud of her sexcapade. Nothing like Buffy's disoriented, heartbroken cry of anguish.

"Which I plan to dissolute as soon as possible! I agreed to let you use me as your atm machine, and even let you space to avoid having sex with me, but, I NEVER said you could fool around behind my back!" The man didn't deny his involvement with his wife. And he wasn't remorseful. That was as much an indication, as anything else said or done between Darla and him. She definitely wasn't sorry, and he obviously never loved her anyway.

Just plainly Angel didn't love Darla like Buffy. Too bad he realized this capital issue ten years too bloody late.

"You must think this through Angel, we have been married for years. This has to be a mistake! I don't have a job, or a house, or _another rich husband standing on the line_. And think what people would say of us if we get a divorce now, we are members of society, your sister just died and we don't even have kids yet!" Darla was only talking about money and gossip, nothing that Angel considered important. All vanity and pretense, nothing real, truthful or sincere could be said about Darla O'Quinn.

"That just means you'll not get an alimony out of me! First thing tomorrow you'll be served with divorce papers, you'll get the money you disserve by law and then…I'll never see you again in my life. And just so you know, I could care a rats ass about what YOUR PEOPLE think of me!" not one tear came out of Darla's eyes. She wasn't ready to lower herself. She came out all-prideful, with her jaw up, pointing at the sky. The obviously coming retaliation was about to shut. Angel could smell a bitch in the air.

"I know about your shit with the bimbos at the hospital, I know you have someone on the side too, and I've never said anything, that's how you pay me for my silence and my comprehension over all this years? You're mine even though you've never been faithful either, you love me, just wait and see, you'll come begging me to take you back…just like that day _Truffy_ left you and you came with your tale between your legs. You'll see!" if he did, it would be only because he went crazy. Darla would never be anything but a bad memory on his past. The stain he couldn't wash away.

"We'll see who comes begging, _Darling_. We'll see." Something about the scene made him regret having stormed out of the scene nine years ago. Buffy and Spike had tried to convince him it was a mistake.

And now that he could study it with a cold mind, there were plenty of signs to confirm the wrong verdict:

Buffy had been dead-sleep with a blasting party going on beside her.

Buffy had been naked from the neck up. With pants still buttoned and belt clasped too. Shoes were on the floor. And Buffy never took her shoes off in front of strangers.

Spike was dead-drunk, not even capable of standing up. Much less seducing an unwilling, near virgin Buffy. After all, it had only been two nights since _their_ first time.

Spike had been dressed beneath the waist too.

The condom wrapper had been on Buffy's side. And he knew she was allergic to latex, reason why they hadn't worn one on their night.

And finally Buffy had denied it all vehemently, so had Spike, both of sound reasoning and acceptable morality. When they obviously had no reason to hide it …if it was true.

Buffy and Angel hadn't been actually married yet, only engaged with plans of marrying on a very distant future. And Spike had always said and proved he loved her.

That all added up to one conclusion: Faith had lied. And Darla and his sister had probably worked the scheme to frame Buffy and Spike together and get the couples they liked better reassembled. But, all the effort had backfired on his sister. Spike had stood with Buffy all along. Darla had made his brother miserable for years, and Faith had died stupidly, eventually saving Buffy's life.

Thus, he concluded that Buffy was innocent; she hadn't showed signs of cheating, either before or after sex. Had never done anything suspicious, if anything she had been very kind and close to him those last days, _like a woman in love is_. And his sister had really meant to break them apart, or just take revenge that her best friend had taken all the people she loved away from her.

_Jealousy_, that he knew was a major cause for murder, what to say of bitchy behavior from a basket case like Faith. Definitely, Buffy had been Faith and Darla's victim, …and his. He decided he had to say he was sorry. _Buffy had so not deserved his insults_. There it was, the one good thing coming out of the badness of the day.

A dawn of realization crowing over Angel's head. He should've talked to Buffy, how different his life would've been if he had seen through the sham. He was so sorry to have mistrusted her. He wasn't a good boyfriend, anybody else would've thought rationally and asked questions.

But he wasn't rational. Never about his beloved Buffy. Hell, he could've even forgotten her mistake and forgiven her if she had come back to him and say she was sorry, try a second time their relationship. She was so young, only 15 years old, she had been entitled to have doubts, to want something more than Angel's offer to marry her. But then again, now was so late, how could he ever convince her they were meant to be together? When he couldn't even convince himself he still deserved her.

He had to have that one last conversation about Faith, and then put all the bad things ever said or done by her, behind him, where only the good memories of his sister would remain, to move forward, just as Buffy had suggested him to do. It's the only thing he could do, to bring closure to this unfinished chapter of his life.

zzz

On the way to the hospital for a quick follow-up before the wake, Angel bought Buffy a huge bouquet of white roses, the customary way men say '_I am sorry'_. Upon arriving he heard Buffy had been sick and he worried a lot. He decided to leave the Faith conversation for later.

"I was told you're feeling ill. It's that so?" he kissed Buffy on the temple, erasing the taste of betray from his mouth.

"I feel horrible. My head feels like a split melon and I'm numbed all over."

"You are having a bad reaction to the immune suppressors, it's normal, and I'll see what I can do. And the nurse told me, you didn't sleep at all today, that's getting you worse. If you reject the organ it will be all for nothing, you know?" she hesitated and noticed he was bent over her with those huge chocolate eyes burning her soul away. A frown of worry upon his face.

"I do. I'm just scared. This place is awful. I don't want to die in here!" he pulled a stool by the gurney, and called the nurse, he decided to change the bandages when she was actually conscious. Check for possible hemorrhages.

"You won't think like that in a couple of minutes." when he ripped the adhesive from her skin she moaned, it was definitely a painful scar. But, thankfully, closed and healing quickly.

"That really hurt, you animal! God I want to die! You ripped all the flesh off my chest!" he injected her with 30 mgs of Codeine and she started to doze off.

"You'll feel better in a while. You're fine, just try to be patient. It will hurt, and this place it's definitely scary, but, if you sleep, time will go faster, I'll keep an eye on you, make sure you're safe. It's all for your health, you'll thank me when you get better." If she ever got better, Buffy was still at the threshold of death.

She grabbed his hand between hers and hanged on to him for dear life. She had been forbidden any more visitors because of the possible viruses and bacteria in the air, she was treated with anti rejection drugs that suppressed her immune system to a minimal level, so she was very weak and prone to get anything that came her way.

Angel had to protect her health by keeping her quarantined until she was stronger and the organ proofed accepted by her body. So basically he was her only friend at the moment.

"You're the only one who really cares about me in here, aren't you?" he felt that something was especially real about Buffy's vulnerability at the moment. He loved her, there was no question about that, and judging by her actions she at least trusted him.

Somehow, the pain of having lost his only sister dulled a bit, the need to protect Buffy and the imperative of forgiveness was upon him. He had loved Faith, as much as he loved Buffy. Then, he could honestly forget her for living her life so carelessly and mostly for leaving him so alone.

He had Buffy to look after now, and he would do so both for his heart's sake and in memory of his sister's.

"No I'm not, I'm only the one who cares _the most_. Close your eyes, try to get some sleep, you'll feel better. I'll still be here when you wake." Buffy had been right; it had been a very high price to pay, _for Love_.

He had to talk to the funerary then, never taking his eyes away from Buffy, getting them to postpone the wake and burial another day, so he could be sure Buffy was ok before he left her. They agreed, giving him more time to be certain.

Anything could happen to her, complications, organ rejection, even a simple flu could kill her. He took a comfortable chair and sat by the bed, feeling somehow more in command because he was besides her, watching her protectively. Should something happen he'll be there, to help her.

zzz

Chapter two, part C 

**Desperate Measures**

"You're back. I thought you had spent all your minutes, Willow." Buffy had been awake for a while and complaining about the pain again. Angel had gone out and explained her family and friends her state, she was stable, if grumpy. After counseling with the attendant he let Willow in for a few minutes, only because she was also doctor, and a very close friend.

"You know me, I like meeting people and using their influence. Rumor has it you got the head of Cardiovascular Surgery under your thumb. Couldn't let that turkey go, could I?" Buffy sighed. She wasn't feeling too well. Slightly sick because of the anti-rejection drugs and the antibiotics combined. But, the thought of Angel was still making her feel like a nervous train wreck. He had truly kept a constant vigil by her side day and night.

"No, you couldn't. Listen, Will. I'm not feeling well. When you leave, could you tell Angel to come back?" Willow touched Buffy's forehead. She was slightly sweaty and pale. Not looking good at all. Her oxygen saturation was low and she was panting.

"Already summoning him? I'll see if I can get him for you. Meanwhile, try and have some rest, you have huge under eye circles." Willow knew from Angel that Buffy wasn't sleeping well because all the weird sounds and constant activity around the CCU. And that was a serious threat to her transplant.

Buffy was just wishing they'd stop telling her that! How could she sleep with all the beeping, and the rushing back and forth, and the nurses and the doctors poking her around all the time? She wished she were unconscious many times that day.

"Ok, I'll try and do that. Now, you tell them to stop going to and fro all the time, it sets my teeth on edge." she yawned grandiosely and closed her eyes. Her little naps in between rounds had been fitful, full of blurred images, people coming with needles towards her, for a moment when no one came to check her, she swore she was dead. Once or twice Angel came to caress her temple with a sad expression on his face, and that was even more unnerving.

"Wait, how's Patrick?" before she was almost falling asleep she would always think of her son. If he wasn't well. She'd probably stay awake. Call it: _a mother's instinct_.

"He misses you a lot, I'll tell him you're ok." the weigh of keeping a secret was setting too heavily on Willow's shoulders. Now, with Buffy's life in peril, even more so.

"Go away Will, I feel sick, I'm going to throw up now." Willow then left the CCU unsure of what to make of the state. From that condition Buffy could either loose the transplant and die; or go through yet another operation, Willow wished none of those fates happened.

She thought if Buffy died she would have to tell Angel, Patrick was his son.

And she couldn't do it, it wasn't her secret and she new Angel would react pretty badly if didn't come from Buffy herself. Willow thought Angel deserved to know. But, under Buffy's predicament it may seem pointless, not to say dangerous to bring it up. She decided she had to keep quiet until time was right. Or Buffy decided to tell Angel on her own terms. _If she ever did_.

Willow thought Buffy, Spike, and her had stabbed Angel in the back by keeping that secret. The guilt was overwhelming her, and each day it seemed more difficult to bite her tongue…for appearance sake. Sitting idly by, and watching catastrophe approach was too much for anybody…including Willow.

zzz

"Bring me Lexothanyl and Demerol, we are going to put her down." Buffy had fever, and her fears about the CCU had her terribly distressed. Any second she could ruin the surgery by pulling a tantrum, so Angel took the decision of putting her under heavy sedatives and intubate her, just in case she needed to go back to he OR.

Much it pained him to even phantom that possibility, but he was after all, _and firsthand_ her doctor, and he would do anything he thought it would ultimately saved her life. No matter how distressful it was for Buffy.

"No! I don't want that, please Angel I don't want to go back there!" he was torn, she was crying and begging him not to help her, there was a reason why doctors never treated close family…scruples, hurting to do greater good was something for brave, tough people, which Angel was neither. Especially when it was about Buffy's life.

"Sush, it's ok baby, I'll give you something to sleep you first, you wont feel it going in." It wasn't the first time Buffy was intubated. He motioned the nurse to inject the drug. As he prepared the tube he was going to insert on her throat to secure her airway.

The instrument used to separate the tongue and the teeth from the pharynx, and easy the tube in, called the tongue-suppressor, was held by Angel's hand, in front of Buffy's eyes, a huge metallic thing that looked dangerously similar to a stapling gun. Buffy tried to grab it from him, to stop him from putting that ugly thing inside her mouth, so Angel had to move behind her, placing his body above her head. Where she couldn't reach for it.

"Please, Angelus!" his hands actually trembled; he had never cared too much, or _feared so_ _terribly_ for the life of a patient. The life of the woman he loved. He could hardly do it. But he would, for her sake. So he paid no attention to her cries and moved closer above her. Instrument and tube at hand.

"I love you, I'll never hurt you, baby. Please be calm, and let me do my job." the nurse holding the needle held her breath for nearly a minute, she had heard it right, _he_ had told her, a female patient, he LOVED her and would never HURT her, that was breaking news, she couldn't wait to spread it around the hospital. The drug was all in, and Buffy started feeling dizzy.

"Move the oxygen closer." he inserted the tube easily, Buffy tried to vomit it, gagging once and then let it slid down her throat like water, he had chosen a child's tube, size 6 and a half, since she was so small and skinny.

Then he started giving her direct oxygen and the saturation rose instantly, she closed her eyes and fell soundly asleep. With Buffy down for the rest of the day, he would be able to go to his sister's wake, make a short appearance and come back to her.

When he was sure she was thoroughly unconscious, he wiped the tears from her face with a tissue and placed adhesive to the tube held inside her mouth, making sure he wouldn't have to do that _ever again_ to her.

"Is everything ok, Doctor O'Quinn?" Angel massaged his temple, feeling a terrible headache take place there. He had been strung tight most of the night, right along with Buffy.

"Patient is responding slowly to the medication, and her vitals are still unstable…I need you to keep a close eye on her, if the fever doesn't go down, or her pressure shifts awkwardly you give me a call on my cell right away, I'll be ready to come back. Keep the immune-suppressors and the Heparin high. We're still on thrombosis alert." Angel was so tired his eyes were closing on their own, he hadn't had a 40 hours shift since he was a first year resident, years back.

"I'll do that, Doctor O'Quinn." Angel dismissed the RN and went towards the resident.

"You are the resident receiving the guard, so I expect you be _equally_ diligent with each and everyone of the patients in here… Doctor _Thomas_, lets talk then, you have a gunshot on curtain one with the liver shattered and repaired shortly three hours ago, on curtain two, you have a stage two bone cancer come yesterday from a marrow bone transplant, and in curtain three you have a ninety years old grandma with a serious lung failure.

_In CCU_, you have only one patient who received a heart transplant day before yesterday, you make sure she's stable and report any changes in her condition to me, _directly_, that guy over there it's going to repeat all of this to you, since he's turning down the guard,

But, he won't tell you, …_that you'll never practice again in your life, if something happens to the patient in CCU, who's my wife, whom I love very dearly, and would make me go crazy if something happened her while I'm not here, are we clear on the status, ...Doctor Thomas?_" Angel said it all in a measured voice, which left the intern even more terrified.

"Certainly, clear as water, Doctor O'Quinn." Angel came back to Buffy's gurney and kiss her on the head, tucking her well under the covers, he felt very rewarded to feel her skin was cool and the fever had gone completely and amazingly down in 15 minutes. He left reassured that he would find her asleep when he came back, …and hopefully much restored.

"See you later guys, you make sure she's fine" Angel was deeply worried about Buffy; she was still in so much danger.

Some blind hope made him reach to the cross he wore on the neck right before leaving the room, taking it off and placing it on Buffy's hand before leaving her, trusting her heart on God's merciful and protective hands. Saying a pray to commend both her heart and her spirit to The Divine Mercy. If anything happened, at least Buffy would have heaven.

If science failed, God would be the last reason, and as much of a believer as Angel was, he wanted to trust that God wanted her to live too. Even if she wasn't meant to ever be with him again.

End of chapter 2… 

zzz

Extra: I do think this song it's perfect to reflect Angel's feelings for Buffy, and hers for him.

Listen to it as you read and you'll se what I mean.

"Blind" by Lifehouse 

I was young but I wasn't naive  
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave  
and still I have the pain I have to carry  
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

**after all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
never thought we'd be here  
when my love for you was blind  
but I couldn't make you see it  
couldn't make you see it  
that I loved you more than you'll ever know  
a part of me died when I let you go**

I would fall asleep  
only in hopes of dreaming  
that everything would be like is was before  
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting  
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
never thought we'd be here  
when my love for you was blind  
but I couldn't make you see it  
couldn't make you see it  
that I loved you more than you'll ever know  
a part of me died when I let you go

after all this time  
would you ever want to leave it  
maybe you could not believe it  
that my love for you was blind  
but I couldn't make you see it  
couldn't make you see it  
that I loved you more than you will ever know  
a part of me died when I let you go.zzz

Please send feedback 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I must apologize for the sheer length of this chapter, but it's divided in 3 smaller parts, in case you get tired of reading after a while.

**Chapter 3**

"**Lie to me, I won't care."**

zzz

Complex 

Faith's funeral was a short and endearing episode of Angel's life; most of her party friends had been there, bearing flowers, and memories of their time with Faith. Angel had realized her life had been a bit more complicated than he had imagined.

Faith had been dating a guy. His name was Riley Finn. He had look extremely out of place with the other guys. He was in the army, all American looks, blonde, tall, and the face of an Iowa corn-fed boy; and God knows why, he had been in love with his sister. He barely talked to Angel; he probably didn't know Faith had a brother. People from the hospital, teachers, college friends and many various people that had known Faith throughout her life had been there, paying him compliments and murmuring how sorry they were for her death.

Many had spoken of her genuine kindness on the wake. Many had said she was a complex and interesting human being, who had died having lived the life full of adventures others could only dreamed of, many had said they'd miss her. Angel had said she was sweet and kind ever since she was a little kid, and now he was sure she would be an angel on all of their lives, looking down on them from heaven. Yeah, Faith had been a complex creature, sometimes too complex, even for him.

Darla, as usual, had shined for her absurdity, she had worn black…black leather pants with a black tank top that said 'Bootylicious' in golden glitter, apparently Faith had given it to her after a concert, years back, when she had been dating a security guy from Beyonce's entourage. Nobody else got it, but, she sure got wondering eyes more than once, male eyes mostly, he couldn't deny she was beautiful, and sexy as hell, but, the emptiness of her soul couldn't be filled with pretty clothes and makeup.

Darla had left home that day with huge suitcases full of her stuff. Some things had been left behind, but she made no arrangement to collect them. She was presumably imaging the breakup was just a pretense. Just what Angel needed, yet another complex human being who couldn't understand what a dissolution of marriage really meant.

Willow, Dawn and Giles had been there too. They knew Faith was dead, but, not that it had been her heart inside Buffy's chest. Their support had made the time a bit easier for Angel; shorter, if possibly. Even Giles, who was every bit of a stiff British, had come out to express his sympathies.

Angel had been stern. A bit numbed with the whirlwind of the past days, all very understandable under the circumstances. But he kept in his mind what Buffy had said to him _'Nothing but the good memories should remain'_ and he tried hard to forget Faith had been so careless, and that she had done so many bad things to herself, and to others; that he just had to remember her as she was when they were kids, happy and uncomplicated, the way she'd never been after their mother's death.

Now she would remain forever in his mind like his beloved baby sister. That was the turning point of Angel's life, where he would make amends, he promised himself that, he would never be a bystander again, he would be brave and strong…he would live, for his mother, for his sister, for his father …and for himself. And mostly for Buffy, saving her had opened a whole new world of possibilities for Angel.

zzz

LA, California, April 1996 

**The blueprint of a disaster**

**(The day before Angel had that discussion with Spike about Buffy)**

_When Faith arrived at the airport from Ireland, Angel had been there to get her. On the way to Spike's place they talked. "How are you? Really, tell me the truth," Faith had gone home to get treatment for her episodes of psychosis and suicide attempts. "I'm ok! I swear it. I'm on lots of happy medication, antidepressants, Haloperidol and some sleep medication too." That was quite a cocktail for someone 16 years old._

"_You know I love you, don't you, Faithy?" It seemed she was still out of herself. Angel had always blamed himself for Faith's unstable nature. If he had been a better brother, perhaps she would have felt more secure and overcome her fears. "Of course I do." But it wasn't his fault. Faith's condition was hers, and hers alone to deal with._

"_So, what are you unto lately?" No amount of chivalry could make him save her from herself. She had to want to change. And Faith never seemed interested in mending._

"_Flurazepam aka Dalmane, makes me sleep like a rock. No suicide attempts. No sleep walking, all normal now. I love it," he meant: what kind of hobbies or interests she had currently. But, it seemed Faith had drugs on her mind all the time._

"_Mmm, it sounds…sedating. Are you ever going back to school?" It was the logical question; would Faith ever get back on track?_

"_God, no! I can hardly sustain looking at the mirror, there's no way I'm going to show my face there…not after a year of psychiatric wards and all that." That was the one thing he didn't want to hear._

"_Nobody knows. Not even Buffy. They all think you were an exchange student in Ireland," he had protected his sister reputation and privacy fiercely._

"_How naïve of them… so, a little birdie told me you were dating Bee," Faith just couldn't deal with the things people thought about her._

"_I am." Angelus thought that person must have been his dad; he told his father everything and he was the only one Faith ever listened to._

"_Tell me all, by the way, even though you haven't ask me, daddy is fine, he misses you a lot, and wishes to see you soon…I think he said he'll come by on graduation." Angel never had a good relationship with his father. One of the reasons he and Buffy were so close. They both had missing fatherly figures._

"_Ah…well, that's good. We were studying the other day, and I-I kissed her …she's my girlfriend now," among many other things._

"_Just like that?" no, it had taken him weeks of build-up courage to have the nerve to ask her out, say nothing of kissing her._

"_Kind of, I've always loved her, it's just now, that, I know I really want to be with her… like a boyfriend." He'd never been so happy just to be with someone._

"_Are you in love with her?" He was very much in love._

"_Yes"-he sighed- "More than I ever thought was possible. She's got me hooked. I never felt like this, sist. She's just…something so peculiar and special," he left conveniently out the fact that he had sex with her two nights before. It had been the best sex of his life insofar. And that he had asked Buffy to marry him in the not-so-distant future. He had even given her a diamond ring, just to seal the deal. _

"_Look how you shine with that!" She said it sarcastically, but, he took it as encouragement. He felt an inner warm spread when he remembered his perfect night with Buffy._

"_I'm going to marry that woman one day. I can tell. She's the one for me. I can feel it… she's THE girl." And he was the perfect man for her._

"_No she isn't." Angel wasn't been guarded about his feelings. Thinking his sister couldn't possibly have something against Buffy…but she did. Her answer took him completely unaware._

"_What are you talking about? She's your best friend. Aren't you happy with it?" she screeched, she obviously wasn't happy with it._

"_Of course not! Buffy is…she's just a ho! She's going to cheat on you, steal our money and go away…she's going to break your fucking heart!" How could Faith be speaking like that of her best friend?_

"_Faith. Stop now. I warn you," she was sounding a little out of control to him._

"_You don't know her like I do! She did it with Spike! She broke us apart because she couldn't stand our love, and now he's in love with me again, and Buffy tries to get him jealous using you, she's just trying to get him back. Can't you see?" _

_Buffy had never officially been anything but Spike's friend. If she had dated him, Spike would have sent a note to the newspapers or make graffiti on the school gym, gloating in his glory. He's always loved Buffy. But, she wasn't interested. Buffy was with him now. She had become a branded Angelus O'Quinn property. She was his girl. Faith just had to be nuts to say that._

"_Honestly …I can't." He knew Buffy. She loved him as badly as he loved her. What Faith was saying was simply impossible, especially in lieu on the night before; when he had worshipped her body thoroughly. Buffy could have never faked those feelings._

"_You will, you just wait and see! She's going to wipe the floor with you!" That sounded like a threat to him._

"_Ok, darling. Whatever you say," he decided to play along. His sister seemed too feeble to argue with her._

"_I understand your blindness. But, just remember I told you so. Buffy is just using you to get Spike back!" he thought he'd remember, not because he doubted Buffy, but, because he doubted Faith was actually cured of her insanity._

"_Don't worry, baby. Calm down now. We are going to get you something to eat. You want pizza?" He still loved his sister though, lunatic ranting-bitch and all._

"_Of course not! I'm already as big as a house!" Considering she only weighed 100 and some pounds for her 5.5 frame, that should've told him how insane she was, but, most women were like that about their weight those days. He thought it wasn't just her…but it was._

zzz

_When Angel dropped his sister at Spike's frat house, a few hours later, she turned to Spike, he was planning his graduation party, having already passed all his subjects, he was celebrating, getting all his friends drunk and hiring a band, in other words he was chilling. _

_Faith thought he'd jumped right back into bed with her. But, once had been more than enough for Spike, he didn't like lunatics with a serious drug dependency problem. And he had invited Buffy to his party in front of the whole school, making an ass out of himself, declaring how much he still cherished her, paying Faith's return no attention at all. _

_Faith couldn't stand that, it was insane, all the attention been in the blonde bimbo. No way no how, she was going to stop that right away. Faith deserved her party…her return, her bash, her way. And Spike was hers. Buffy would have to understand that, sooner or later._

"_So, I heard you have a party tonight"_

"_Yeah pet. I've got the whole gang coming. Have ye heard the one about Buffy and the pooh bear finally getting together?"_

"_Yeah…heard all the gory details…I thought you would've been angry. Weren't you like drooling for Bee?"_

"_Come on. You got to see her with him. She's in cloud-number-nine happy. A burly fellow like me can't compete with those big city moves of your brother."_

"_But you aren't. Burly or anything like it, you won't fight for her, is that what you mean?"_

"_What do __**you**__ mean? Aren't you and Buffy like bfs? And your brother loves her; I know that for a fact!"_

"_I mean, Buffy is not the right girl for my brother. He really likes Darla better…Buffy is just fun for the now, and she's going to die. And she is…"_

"_She is…?"_

"_Not good for anybody you idiot! See how she treats you? Don't you think my brother deserves something better? Don't you think YOU deserve someone better?"_

"_Sorry, Faith. I didn't mean to push your buttons. Are you alright, Pet?"_

"_Buffy is going to places…far away, she's going to brake his heart. Don't you see? We have to get them apart…before they hurt themselves. Buffy needs to be left alone." Spike thought she was the one who needed to be left alone._

"_Christ Faith, aren't ya meddling too bloody much? Come on, pet! Guy is always tripping about responsibilities; girl is always tripping on …heart medication. Give them a break. Wish I had something like that! Don't you see how rare they are? What's wrong with you? Are you insane?"_

"_I—I told you I'm not crazy! —I'm fine. But, Buffy…(Faith shrugs, she feels the room in closing in on her) she can't be with him, he is my brother and she's my friend. If they don't work out it's totally going to tears us apart…taking sides and all, I mean, I can't choose between them. Can you?"_

"_You don't have to choose, Pet. I honestly can't see what makes you think like that! Calm down, and for Christ sakes, leave them alone. They are going to work out fine. I put my hands on fire for them, a lot of people do…and Good'een too you, I have to go check on my party. I'll see ye later." _

_He left her speaking alone, been distinctly annoyed with the way Faith had reacted to her brother's relationship with Buffy; something definitely wasn't right with Faith's head._

_Faith had been so angry she decided to take matters into her own hands. Spike would be his, Buffy would be left all alone, and her brother would be with Darla, that's how it was going to be._

_zzz_

_Spike's party was such a temptation Faith just had to fit her plan into it._

_As Buffy arrived at the party, Faith put Dalmane on Buffy's soda without anybody noticing. Buffy drank it normally, without perception of the drugs on the drink. It was colorless and tasteless, and it will put her into deep sleep for 24 hours at least._

_As she did that, Faith got around the apartment and made a call to Darla, she was going to crash herself against Faith's car on Sunset Boulevard. While Faith waited to set a trap for Buffy and Angel._

"_It's all set then."_

_As Buffy got seriously groggy a few minutes after, Faith prepared Spike's room for the set-up. When Buffy was falling asleep on the couch, Faith led her to the room and left her sleeping there on Spike's bed. She had undressed her easily to appear she had just had casual sex._

_Buffy was more than profoundly asleep 2 hours after, and Spike had almost passed out drunk when Faith dropped another pill of her sedative on his drink. _

_In that moment of serious faintness, Faith lead Spike to his room, gave him a hand to get out of his clothes, while everything was still pitch dark, then she led him down to the bed, and he dropped like a rock next to Buffy. They had both end up naked from the waist up._

_Faith was so crazy she didn't realize she could have killed both of them with that amount of drugs, they could have easily overdose, and Faith would have become a murderess; she just stood there watching the sleeping trap, as she revised in her head how to sound mortified when Angel found out she had crashed her car and nearly killed herself._

_zzz_

_Much later that night, Faith left the party in a hurry and crashed her car against Darla's, she called Angelus to come and aid her. He had been studying and was supposed to pick up Buffy around that time from Spike's party._

_He never did. He arrived close to 3 o'clock in the morning. After dropping Faith at home, only to find the party was loudly blasting around the whole floor, Spike's absence was not withstanding. But, Buffy was also nowhere to be found._

_Willow had not been there that night, staying home studying too. So, Buffy had been alone most of the night. As Angel got around looking for Spike, he found them._

_They were both naked from the waist up. _

_They had been found in Spike's bed._

_Spike's naked arm was spawning Buffy's back. They were naked with she sheets tossed aside. She was passed out, face down on the mattress. A condom wrapper was open on the nightstand, right beside her hand. Her makeup was messed all over her face and her hair was tangled._

_She was drooling on the pillow._

_He put two and two together and stormed out of the room without waking up any of them, he needed a drink there and then. On the way out he had smashed his fists against the doorframe. He couldn't admit that was happening to him. It was just as Faith had predicted._

_zzz_

_Angel came back an hour after he'd had a whole bottle of Vodka from Spike's cabinet and some tequila too. Buffy and Spike were on the same position, it was close to six am then. It was already the day after._

"_Wake up you two!" Angel was swinging with drunkenness._

"_Bugger off," mumbled Spike half sleep._

"_Wake up you goddamn traitors!" He was spitting angry. He'd had to yank them out of bed by the nape._

"_Angel, what's wrong? Where are we?" That was Buffy. She was disoriented and weak, she had fallen out of the bed like a rag doll pulled by the hair. The sedative was still heavy on her system. She could have hardly risen from the bed on her own._

"_You have some nerve, you slut! You slept with Spike! That's what is going on. Get up! And for Christ sake put some clothes on!" Buffy didn't understand what the hell was going on, and neither did Spike._

"_You are drunk …and delusional. We didn't slept together…"(Spike took notice of the place) "Ok, we slept, but we did not have sex! This isn't real, man"_

"_You are a whore! … And you are the worst shit! My friend? My brother! Ye are just an inexcusable shite of a man!" He tripped and nearly fell on top of them._

"_I don't know how we wind up here. But, I swear to God I did not sleep with Spike. I swear it on my mother's life!" Buffy was very scared of Angel's disgruntled state. She knew she had been played somehow._

"_Then go find your mother's corpse…you bitch…I fucking loved you! And you slept with him…why? Tell me why? I'm a not good enough for you? … Does he have more money? Is he smarter? … Is his fucking dick bigger than mine! … Tell me!"_

"_What! … You know what, Angel. Yes! He's smarter, bigger, and richer! And he is a hell of a better man than you are. Have you completely lost your mind? I love you! You are my boyfriend! We are going to get married! This isn't what you think it is!" Buffy was crying then, she couldn't believe Angel would think like that of her._

"_You don't know what you're saying man, I love Buffy, but, we have never shagged, I swear!" Spike had to stop the disaster happening in front of his eyes._

"_Shut up the both of you! I know just fine what happened here! And me so foolish as to think that you—I wanted to marry you! It's so goddamn good to discover your real face now! Faith told me you'd do it, that you'd used me to get to Spike…but I couldn't believe her, you are a slut!" That rang a bell for Spike_

"_Fine, believe your crazy-stupid sister then. You know she went to Ireland to a loony house. Because she was mad! … As mad as YOU are right now! Wake up, Angel. You are being played!" Spike tried to get between them, to nock some sense into Angel, but it was all futile._

"_I'm not a slut! But if I am, it's because of you! You're the one who fucked me, got what you wanted and then prepared this entire scene with Faith to get rid of me! You got it pal, we're through!" and then Buffy slapped Angel in the face. How could he insult her like that?_

"_Folks lets try to calm down." Spike came between them again, things where getting heated._

"_You go to hell!" He got shoved roughly out of the way._

"_Fine, see how much I care. Bitch!" Buffy put her clothes on as they fought._

"_Angel, this isn't real you got to hear the truth man; Buffy and I are just friends, nothing more." Angel hit Spike on the face, breaking his nose._

"_Some friend you are!" Spike pushed his elbow unto his ribs, sending Angel flying to the other corner of the room, he was sure he had cracked a rib. But, then they both swayed, too drunk and upset to fight well._

"_You! You and me are going to settle this tomorrow…when I'm not drunk! You wait and see. I'm going to beat the living crap outa of ye." With that Angel passed out cold. Too drunk to stand up and fight, beating his head against the bedpost and falling with a sick thud on the floor._

"_Sure mate. I'll see you when you wake." Buffy stormed to his side, she was crying, unsure of her feelings, he was fine, only stinking drunk, she threw the ring Angel had given her to the floor in a tantrum and stormed out of the room, she couldn't stand seeing him like that. _

_She left in a furry of limbs, bleeding her eyes out as she realized of what exactly had Angel accused her of. It just couldn't be happening to her. She knew somebody had tricked her in a very nasty way. Buffy wasn't about to loose the love of her life over a nasty trick like that!_

_Spike took a hold of Angel and pushed him on top of the bed, they will have to talk, as soon as the bloke awoke. And then there would be a brawl, surely._

**End of flashback …**

**Zzz ****It will continue on chapter 3 part B zzz**

**Chapter 3 part B**

"**Burdens" **

**UCLA Santa Monica hospital**

Zzz

When Angel went back to the hospital, the employee handling Buffy's paperwork told him there was trouble with the patients insurance, so he looked after the problem.

"I'm calling about the insurance policy number p-A15857277-F that belongs to my wife Buffy Anne Summers, there seems to be some problem with the medical bills?"

"Yes, mister Summers, the bank called us today, Mrs. Summers has a serious cash problem, and the bank suspended her monthly payment, being that she's three months late and her maximum has already been spent, we decided to stop accepting the bills, I'm afraid it's policy."

"Which bank is it?"

"Citibank, I believe, but let me check just to be sure."

"I'll hold."

"Yes, it's the Citibank, what would you like me to do, Mister Summers?"

"I'm going to go to the bank today and clear all the debts, when I do that, I'll give you a call and settle the insurance policy problem as well. What's your name?"

"Ryan, sir, my name is Ryan Murphy,"

"I'll call you back then, mister Murphy."

When Angel hung up, first thing he did: was to call Charles Gunn, his friend and financial advisor, he needed money wired and he expected it to be a considerable sum.

"A friend of mine it's in trouble and I'm going to lend her some money, I need you to approve the withdraw,"

"No problem, I'll release money from the savings account and send it to the regular account. Are you going to write a check?"

"Probably, I'll give you a call as soon as I know."

zzz

Angel went to the bank, and as soon as he said his name, they all knew he was the famous multimillionaire, the doors opened wide for him, everybody was friendly and solicitous offering him coffee, tea, cookies, credit cards, bank accounts, anything he wanted.

It Turned out Buffy owned the bank 250,000 dollars between 3 mortgages, a car loan, a personal loan, credit cards, and bounced-off checks. She hadn't paid any of her bills with the bank for months, and they had cut off the fond for fear of never recovering all that doe.

So the bank called the insurance company when the medical bill topped the maximum amount covered by her policy and Buffy couldn't be localized to make a deposit, and all of her credit cards had bounced off. So now she was in danger of being kick out of the hospital and sent to some county hospital because she was basically penniless and indebted to her pretty little ass.

Angel couldn't allow that, so he settled everything right, paying for everything and leaving an extra 50,000 dollars for all the medicals bills that would come their way. And anything else Buffy might need soon.

He did it without remorse or second thoughts; he told everyone he was Buffy's concerned husband, who was near loosing her in the ICU. They all believed him. Then he was told to get a will from her while he still could, so he could take her house and her car when she died. He didn't mind that, he trusted Buffy would recover and get better soon enough. And then she'll have a pleasant surprise waiting for her at the bank.

He never expected to get the money back. But, something even more upsetting happened then.

zzz

"I'm calling about a renewed policy, I need to speak to Ryan Murphy," Angel was put on hold, while the young executive was summoned.

"Mister Summers, I'm pleased to hear from you so soon. What can I do for you?" Angel noticed the guy was decent. And that was a surprise; he guessed money didn't always make people treat you better.

"I'm calling you about that insurance policy for my wife, I wanted it renewed and upgraded to the maximum you can cover," the guy stayed quiet for a while, he was searching the files on his computer.

"Sure, where should I charge the bill?"

"The same account, it has money now."

"Of course. I'm sending the order to treasury as we speak, your wife will get a clearance from the hospital in a couple of hours…you know how burocracy is,"

"I do, I'll go check it down later."

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about…it's a bit delicate."

"What is it?"

"Your wife's mother, that is your mother in law, had been receiving chemotherapy, and we couldn't absorb it any more, so I understand your wife had worked up an arrangement with the bank, to extend her credit, but now she's solvent with us we could try to get her mom a better deal, I do understand it sounds cruel but, it's like that." Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. Joyce Summers had cancer!

"What? I don't understand what you're offering," he couldn't act as if he didn't know. He had to pretend he knew everything about his wife.

"The treatments, you said were costing you, I mean your wife and you, 250 dollars per shot and I remember your wife said she had to have two daily; I understand this must be strangling your finances considerably. So I wanted to tell you there's a program with Stanford University where some patients get free treatment, I thought your mother in law could benefit from that," if Buffy's mom needed the drugs that often, she had to be fighting a very aggressive cancer. Maybe even something doctors thought was near killing her.

"Of course, sign her up." Angel felt so bad. He couldn't believe Buffy had that many problems to deal with on top of her own death sentence. And Angel thought he had problems! His divorce, his depression, and his sister's stupidity were nothing compared to Buffy's ordeal!

"I would need a copy of her medical story and a reference from a specialist, a renowned oncologist preferably," he knew several, he swore to get her the best specialist available, as soon as possible, problem was how to tell Joyce he knew!

"I'll see where I can find that, I'll call you back Ryan, thank you." His poor friend had so many problems on top pf her! Well no wonder she was indebted so badly, she probably had been costing her mom's treatments all well as her own. He felt pity mingle with compassion and pride, sick and everything; Buffy had been bravely helping everybody around her, even if it meant drowning herself in bills. She had always been a heroine.

"Sure I'll be waiting for your call." He hung up, unsure of how to act. How was he to tell everything he knew, justify the knowledge he had acquired, when Buffy was in an induced coma, and Willow would have never told him that amount of personal and very delicate information, about Buffy's mom.

He could help them, problem was, would they take it?

Later that day, very late at night, Angel's lawyer had called; he had served Darla the divorce papers, the solicitation of dissolution of marriage by adultery. And she received them in Las Vegas, where Angel's hired private investigator told him she was…with her lover Lindsay MacDonald, gone straight there after the wake.

He wasn't even angry, just relieved he had actually given the first step to be single again. A part of him was sad, but, with everything about Buffy getting so pressing, he didn't think about Darla for more than a few minutes.

zzz

**5 days after surgery…**

**Second chances**

"Hi." Said Angel, Buffy had been so absorbed in her thoughts of the future; she didn't hear him coming inside the room. It was her private room. She was finally alone, with nurses that came once every few hours, with a nice window and…visitors!

"Hi… How are you feeling?" she smiled softly, happy to see him again, she felt incredibly better. But, he looked terrible. He had dark under-eye circles, grown beard, messy hair and pale, bloodshot eyes.

"That's my line, Buffy. Though, I'm very pleased you are feeling and looking so much better today!" He leaned towards her, kissing her on the temple and taking hold of her charts behind her head. She was indeed feeling amazingly better. She had no fever, no nervous breakdown, no tantrums, and no more CCU!

"I'm ok. Thanks for sending me here… it was about damn time!" He smiled as he signed the revisions and the medications written down on the charts.

"I'm fine too. I'm just terribly tired, haven't gotten a decent sleep in four days! I'm going to change your bandages now." The room shrunk around Buffy. That was going to hurt.

"You sure you need to do that?" He readied the iodine solution, gauze, adhesives, and cotton puffs on the plate beside him.

"Of course, I'll be very careful." He used the remote control on top of the bed to sit Buffy up and closer to him. Without her noticing, he had closed the door, bolted it, and placed the 'no entrance to unauthorized personnel' sign on the door knob.

"Don't you need some help?" she stretched her hands up as Angel removed the top of her pajamas, bearing her breast to him.

"Not really, they'll just get in the way. What is it? You are scared of me?" Buffy laughed nervously, she was nervous and a little scared, but, not of him, mostly of the butterfly sensation on her stomach and her obvious nakedness in front of him. She still had untapped feelings for him, even as terrible as he looked that morning.

"No. Not really, I'm just afraid of the pain." she kept each hand to her breast, shielding them from his view.

"Funny you, it won't hurt that much, just like a little hot wax, women are so tough about hair, and why be a chicken about this small thing?" He started pulling the adhesive from below, steadying her flesh with the left hand and pulling the stuff with his right hand. Angel had to touch her mound and she laughed, feelings tickles everywhere he touched her. He on the other hand, felt a jolt that went straight to his pelvic bone, and down to his balls, he hadn't had sex with a woman in six months! Touching Buffy, of all women, on her tummy was rather insinuating and nerve racking to his system.

"Oh God, that prickles!" his hands had been cold from the hospital temperature, and she blossomed in Goosebumps when he touched her lower ribs.

"Almost done… You're pretty emaciated here. I hope you start eating again soon. I don't like this sight of you. You are all bones and no flesh. You could brake a bone ten times easier like this," he ripped the huge bandage from her in one last move and the large, angry looking scar came to view.

Buffy trembled all over, her chest had gone red with the pulling and some very slow trickles of blood came oozing from the last stitches, where the scar was draining fluids.

"I know. I'll eat know. Is it all normal with the scar?" Angel took a cotton puff soaked in iodine solution and pushed downwards towards the drain; she had been split from throat to almost her navel. That was a very large scar for such a petit person.

Angel noticed her every bone showed trough the skin; she had hardly any fat or muscle, consumed with lack of proper oxygenation and immobility. Buffy hadn't exercise or done anything even mildly strenuous in months. She was practically a runway model!

"You're skinnier than a nazi prisoner; I've seen corpses look healthier than you. But …you seem otherwise fine." Buffy felt ashamed, it was true she ate very frugally, but, it wasn't all her fault. She was flat broke. All her food went to Patrick's throat, kind of like the emperor penguin.

She had seen 'March of the penguins' with Patrick and Spike before she left to go to California. It was probably the last birthday either her or her mother would see each other. With both of them so sick any precious time spend would be worthy of pictures. So she had traveled, it was lucky that she had found her salvation there. UNOS was like God, could find you anywhere you went.

"I know, I promise I'll eat better now." Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat. She'll probably see her mother die now, Joyce had brain cancer, they had removed the affected portion of the brain that was removable, but, now she had metastasis, it had spread to her lungs, her liver, and her bones.

Doctor had given her six moths, and Buffy had done her best to find her treatment. Some people were saved with medication, even at that stage. So she spent even what she didn't have to save her.

All pointless, they couldn't give her anymore drugs. Joyce had even signed and DNR order meaning 'Do not resuscitate' her if she collapsed and they couldn't help her anymore. Buffy hadn't fully lost hope yet; she'd still pray to Saint Judas Thaddeus the advocate of impossible causes to cure her. But she knew her mom had given up the fight.

"That's good, you do that…and just so you know, you have nothing to be afraid of with me, I'd never hurt you." She stared at him for a while. He had hurt her emotionally in the past.

"I know. Thank you. For taking such a good care of me, I could never repay you …for everything you sacrificed for me." He smiled and took her hands from her breast.

"Don't mention it." He looked down with devotion. She still had the most perfect breast he had ever seen, small but round, with rosy nipples and fullness that missed the rest of her body.

"Do I need implants then, Doctor O'Quinn?" Angel smirked, thinking of sucking and kissing her perfect little lumps.

"Not at all, not ever, they're perfect as they are. You have nothing to worry about, for a 26 years old women, you have breast ten years younger than you!" Buffy laughed she felt so much older than 26, maybe 40. That's what a hard life made you feel like.

"Thank you. You're not so bad either. Mister hot shot Doctor." They both giggled. Angel placed his gloves on and started pulling the drain out of Buffy's chest with a clamp. Not foretelling Buffy he would that, so she wouldn't worry ahead of it. That would definitely be painful.

"Back to business …so, tell me about your life," Angel had to keep her talking as he did the painful part. Buffy's ribs were still tender and the surrounding area of the scar was yellow-green with tinges of purple at the edges, signs that the blood gathering beneath the surface was circulating well. In other terms, she was healing, if rather painfully.

"My name is Buffy Anne Summers, I'm 25 years old, not 26, I'm a Psychologist, I live in Jersey, New York, I'm single, I drive a Renault, I have a little ratty apartment and I'm neurotic as all New Yorkers, and you are killing me there!" He laughed as she panted and hissed, the drain was a foot long peace of thick gauze twisted to form a tube inserted just beneath the scar, so all that fluid gathered around the huge gaping wound would have an outlet. Angel squeezed and the darker fluid came out, running down her navel, he had towels pressed there, so it didn't mess her pajama.

"Keep talking," he did it several times, until nothing but clear fluid came out, and then he pulled the gauze out. Buffy screamed with that. But felt amazingly better when it was out. She hadn't known it caused so much pressure on her cracked ribs.

"I hate you!" He laughed; he had heard that one many times already.

"So, I'll talk then…my name is Angelus O'Quinn, I'm 29 years old, I'm a cardiologist, I'm also head of Cardiovascular Surgery here, I'm getting divorced at the moment, plan to be single again in a few months, I live in Pacific Palisades, I have no pets, recently lost my sister and have no living relatives. And you are the most beautiful and brave women I've ever known. Hang on, we are almost done." Buffy gasped in pain, and then he washed the wound again and placed a new much sturdy bandage on her chest.

He actually had to seize her breast to secure the adhesive in place. And that made Buffy feel a rush of blood stream down her body, she had a sudden and unstoppable need of him. She showed the feeling aside and clung to the discomfort he was causing her.

Angel on the other hand, clung to dizzying sensation of doing something forbidden, feeling his dick swell against his will, and his breath become quicker. Even though he was doing something disgusting, he still felt elated. He had touched Buffy's breast in-avertedly!

"You're ugly! Cruel and merciless! I thought we were friends," he laughed out loud; he had heard that one before too.

"I hadn't been told I'm ugly, but, thanks for the tip. You are done now. Let me get that pajama on again…there, you're presentable again, if only much grumpier," she snorted and he kissed her hand. She quickly shoved it out of the way, cleaning it on her blanket.

"Get out!" he tucked her under the covers and turned the light off. He did love her much more when she was seething angry!

"It's late, close your eyes and try to sleep, you'll have visitors tomorrow. I know I'll sleep long and hard tonight," she had turned around to gaze at the window, in a display of disdain, but, when Angel was at the door she turned to see him leave.

"Good Night baby, I'll see you tomorrow!" He blew her a kiss and closed the door behind him. Buffy stayed awake for a long time, feeling a heaviness grip around her heart and her loins twist with the sudden need his hands had awakened in her. He still could drive her crazy so easily.

"Sweet dreams, Angel." She closed her eyes and before she knew it, she was dreaming about him.

She was dreaming Angel stayed the night sleeping beside her, Buffy felt wrong for crying out to him when she felt a gripping pain around her heart. But, she still loved him so. Guilt was just eating her up. She felt she was going to die if she didn't tell him the truth soon.

She started screaming on her sleep, and then she awoke startled, not recognizing immediately the hospital room she was in. it took Buffy a while to calm down, but, when she did, remorse did started eating her up all over again.

zzz

"Hello there, I was hoping I could speak with you…alone." Angel hadn't spoken more than a few words with Joyce Summers ever. He had known her through her daughter only. This was the first time they would talk. How could he start that conversation without ruining everything with his possible mother in law forever?

"Hi, Angel. Right?" Joyce sat down beside him, in one of the waiting rooms.

"Yes, my name is Angel O'Quinn, is very nice to hear you do remember me," how could she not, one look at Patrick's face and she was smitten.

"I do. Is everything alright with Buffy?" Joyce got anxious instantly, there had to a bad reason for this meeting.

"She's fine, she's great actually. It's not exactly about her that I need to talk to you about. The thing is, Joyce, that Buffy said some things while she was at the ICU that let me believe you had …brain cancer, which is not my business in any way, and must be disturbing you terribly that I even bring it up…but, I accidentally received a call from the insurance company that Buffy uses today, and they told me you had been considered for the Stanford Program that gives cancer treatment practically for free, and they hadn't been able to localize you, because Buffy's been at the hospital lately," now that Angel got a close look at Buffy's mom, he realized she was pale and skinny, and her hair was fake, a wig, she had probably lost it all with the chemotherapy.

"I understand," Joyce lowered her eyes to the floor, what could one say to that admission?

"The thing is that I…told them I was Buffy's husband, and that I would contact you, get you to fill the application and try to get accepted at the experiment, I hope you'd at least consider it, since the Cancer Center at Stanford, and it's one of the best in the country. I know it's very nosy and impertinent of me, but, I couldn't help myself!" Joyce placed her hand on top of Angel's hand, stopping him from continuing with that tirade.

"I'll do it. What do I have to do?"

"I need your medical charts, exams, biopsies, anything you've had done the last five years, I took the liberty of making an appointment with a friend of mine, who is a very renowned oncologist here, she'll see you and write you the reference you need for the back story, I hope you don't mind…it's all covered for, all you have to do is show up," Joyce didn't know what to say, first he announced his total dedication to Buffy's case, and then this. There had to be some ulterior motive behind his actions.

"I'll guess you'd like to go with me?" He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'd love to. I need to hear what Doctor Katherine Melbourne says to you, and then if we all think the program it's the best for you, we'll sign you up. How's that?"

"What if you think it's not?"

"That would be because we both believe there's still a treatment that would work better for you. Doctor Melbourne it's really good, I trust her."

"You are so young, to be truly that experienced, forgive me if this insults you, but, I find it hard to accept that after five different doctors had agreed that this is incurable, you can show up with a magic treatment that will fix it all!" Angel was abashed, Joyce had already given up all hope of curing herself ever, she had practically sat down to wait for death to come and get her.

"Joyce please! You are very young too. I don't want you to die, and neither does Buffy, I know that you don't trust me, and that's ok. I'm not asking you to do anything but go to a consult. It won't make any changes; it would just be another opinion. What have you to lose?"

"Fine, I'll go. But, I can't promise you anything else. I'd like to see Buffy now."

"Of course, just one thing: Don't tell her about this conversation, I don't want her to think she babbled while she was at ICU, it would distress her, and she is so much better now, please?"

"Fine, but it's the first and last time I lie to my daughter for you. And next time, don't answer calls in Buffy's name, handle them to me, it's very rude, and impertinent, and nosy of you to pry in our lives like that."

"Never again, I swear it, come this way please."

"When is the appointment?"

"Tomorrow morning, is in order of arrival, so whenever you can, let me know and I'll go with you." He opened the door to Buffy's private room and left mother and daughter together.

zzz

The next day, Willow dropped by with Dawn in the morning. Buffy asked about Patrick. Willow told her he was fine from what Spike had told her on the phone, and her own conversations with Patrick.

He was coming over to get her with Spike on the next possible weekend, when Buffy would be already out of the hospital. Buffy worried about what would have happened if she had died in surgery. Willow and Spike were Patrick's guardians, leaving absolutely no place for Angel's claim, should he ever try to make one.

Outside her room Dawn mentioned something to her mom about Patrick, not realizing Angel had been listening. She had said, he was coming over, and how much she missed him.

Joyce had said that she couldn't wait to see him again. That left Angel wondering who this mysterious character was.

Joyce had kept her word to Angel thoroughly, she hadn't told Buffy, or Dawn, or Willow anything; especially about the appointment they have made with Doctor Melbourne, even after it was done, she had kept quiet.

The consult had come out well in one way, and bad in another, it was true, the cancer had advanced to much already, nothing shortage of a miracle could cure Joyce Summers totally, but the program offered something she dearly wanted…time.

They had drugs that stopped the cancer from advancing any further, which would give her a chance to live as far as a couple of years, to see her family a little longer.

Joyce wasn't fooled, it was a flimsy hope, but, she accepted it and signed herself up for the experimental treatment, they would put her under seclusion for several weeks, try the larger doze under a controlled environment and then send her home with a pre-prepared series of shots that she was supposed to administrate everyday at the same hour.

The program lasted 6 months and she was going to get checked weekly for any progresses or setbacks. They made no promises of full recovery, but 100 of the patients already treated with the drug had lived another 6 months past the treatment. And that was very promising.

She decide to keep also quiet about her involvement with Angel, for both Buffy's and Patrick's sake, but, if this worked, she would always very, very thankful to him, for convincing her of taking that chance, and gaining that chunk of precious time with her daughters and her grandson…

zzz It will continue on chapter 3 part C zzz

**Chapter 3 part C**

**Surprise**

**zzz**

_**New York, October 1996**_

"_It's the nicest dorm, you'll enjoy it. It has all the real pretty girls, you'll see." Spike's RA showed him to his room at the end of the hall. As he was walking by the lounge he saw a familiar profile._

"_Hang on," she was laughing; talking to her redheaded friend about God knows what. He walked slowly towards them. Thinking Buffy could bolt when she saw him. They hadn't really seen each other since graduation…months ago._

"_Yeah, it was so horrible; he just dropped it all on the floor, in front of everybody, who knew a guy could have so much porn in the first year of college!" Buffy was laughing with the story. _

_But, the smile disappeared when she saw Spike._

"_Hi, Buffy! Long time no see!" She had a large notebook on her lap, opened as if she had been studying something._

"_Hi there Spike! So good to see another familiar face! Remember Willow?" she stretched the hand towards Willow without moving the notebook, bent on keeping the page open._

"_Hi! I didn't know you went here too. So what's your major?" Buffy tried to stand up fast, scooting down the leather sofa. But, it became difficult. The extra weigh wasn't really manageable._

"_Medicine." Spike noticed the movement and rushed to help her up._

_The notebook was dully forgotten on the couch now._

"_Surprise?" Spike was speechless. Mouth hanging agape, fish caught in the hook like._

"_Who's that?" Buffy laughed, rubbing the roundness with a funny expression on the face._

"_It's obviously …not yours." Spike reached a hand peremptorily, feeling numbed thorough the bone, not quite ready to deal with the sight._

"_Angel's?" Buffy shrugged feigning innocence._

"_Whose else?" Willow stood in front of him, between their bodies. Spike was making the strangest faces, unaware that shock was registering so clearly in his face._

"_Is there a problem, Spike?" Said Willow, he said no with his head, incapable of articulate speech. He was pushing Willow aside to get a better look of Buffy's body._

"_You are pregnant! Very …fucking …pregnant! Bloody hell Buffy! Ye are expecting Angel's bairn!" He lifted the shirt just to be sure the belly was real, the scar was healed but, still present, the flesh was turgid with bulging life. And it kicked him!_

"_Gee! Couldn't sum it up better, could I? He's saying hullo, Spike. Say hi back." He panted, unsure of what to say. He had suddenly retorted to his British accent from the shock!_

"_Does he know?" Buffy got really serious all of the sudden. All traces of smile wiped off her face._

"_No, he doesn't. You must swear you'll never tell him…ever!" Willow stood by Buffy, both girls with severe faces._

"_This is horrible, Buffy. He will go mad when he finds out! What if he sees you? You cannot hide it! It's too bloody obvious…it can't only be his." He began rummaging immediately on the consequences of his next words._

"_That wasn't my plan. I was thinking about giving him for adoption." He felt abashed. No matter how much he hated the man, he was still been ripped-off. A son wasn't something to be joking about. Angel deserved to have an opinion on that decision. _

"_Don't! You don't know Angel like I do. He'll go crazy when he finds out you gave his baby for adoption. You have to keep him…please keep him with you. I'll help you." Spike didn't realize the magnitude of his words. He was committing himself to another man's family. His best friend's to be accurate. Angelus would never forgive him…if he ever knew._

"_I don't know what to say." Buffy stared at him; she thought she'd never managed. Away from home, living with her godfather Rupert Giles, working two part times, money was a huge issue. And Spike was swimming on it. Saying 'no' would have been stupid…and proud, and dignified. Which she wasn't, especially with the future of her baby on the line?_

"_Say aye, and smile, mind you, chins up. You've done nothing wrong; naught but love him, and even thought he doesn't deserve it… the child does. And I'm going to help ye with him. Christ! I can't believe you are so pregnant! What about your heart?" Willow and Buffy shared a knowing glance together. Buffy's heart was fine for the now, but once her valves malfunction she would probably need a heart transplant or she would die._

"_I'm fine. We are both fine." Spiked reached for her hand and laced it with his. It was a very obvious pregnancy, and Spike did still love her. _

"_I can't believe you didn't tell him. He's the father no matter how stupid he is," Buffy took his hands with unease._

"_He treated me like a whore, he would've said this baby was yours anyway, Faith poisoned him into believing that lie." _

"_Crazy bitch! I'll help you. I'll be there for you. I'll be the stand-in Daddy." Spike was honestly willing to accept them, on such a short notice, almost as if the baby had been his. Almost, Buffy wondered about a lot of things in that moment, but she knew Spike was serious, and so bloody generous. It would have been stupid not to take his help! _

"_I honesty don't need you know…but, I'll …think about it." She did love the baby so. She had thought a million ways to keep him. But, she was just 15, an underage girl, sick and dependant. And Spike was offering so much._

"_Aye, I guess I'll stick by ye… I'm going to have a babe." She did smile then, considering the gift. Later on she'll thought of all the consequences of her actions and the reasons on both sides. Right now, she'll just smile. Buffy had never thought of Spike as a suitable boyfriend, let alone a father._

"_Thought of the name already?" Buffy looked down. The months were running fast on her, in just two months she'll be a mom._

"_Something Irish. Maybe Patrick or Daniel. Any thoughts?" he placed his hand on the small of her back, walking besides her, assuming a paternal stand without conscious thought._

"_Let's get something to eat first. No good thoughts come from an empty belly." Both Buffy and Willow chuckled._

"_I must be full of good thoughts then!" Spike kissed her temple; he didn't understand why he felt so in debt to her. _

_Except, if he closed his eyes, and erased the past, he could pretend both Buffy and the baby were his. And if he couldn't, Angel and Buffy were still two of his closest friends. And he did have a large portion of the guilt for been the man Angel found 'in bed' with his girlfriend, even if they haven't done it for real._

"_Well ye are full of something, Miss summers. But I will not say what it is. All I'll say, it's: the lord works in mysterious ways. Ain't that right wee Patrick? Lord may take and lord may give." _

_The Irony of it didn't escape Buffy, the Lord did work mysteriously around her, she was having Angel's baby, she suddenly found a benefactor, and she was still alive. It was looking damn bright for Buffy that day._

_Buffy shook Spike's hand laughing, with her head held high, making sure he would always have her support as she had his. After all, it wasn't every man that took another man's child and raised it as his own...if only for the sake of the love he felt for the mother._

**zzz**

**LA, 2005**

**UCLA hospital**

**10 days since the operation****…**

Angel came and signed Buffy's release form, she had been getting a ECG, so he didn't see her, but he saw Willow and Dawn on the way out, he had talked very few times with Buffy after he had changed her bandages, she had many visitors, her room was full of flowers and presents all the time, and he have had so much work pilling on his desk that he had stayed locked-up for days getting all the paperwork finished.

And then Willow and Dawn told him they were all going back to New York on a road trip, that very weekend. So they'll arrive two or three weeks later at home. They were reminded to make sure Buffy got her medication all the time, and was kept away from sick people and harsh weather.

Buffy and Willow agreed wholeheartedly, thanking him for taking such good care of Buffy over the days, then he just left, he felt uncomfortable hanging around the Summers all the time, after he had pried around them so much, and he had lots of other places to be. And before he knew what was going on, Buffy had left without even saying goodbye to him.

As Buffy left the room in the morning of the 7th day since her surgery, she came to the conclusion that Angel should find out about his son, he had already missed 9 years of his life. But, she couldn't bring herself to forget the past, she didn't want Patrick Daniel hurt, and she knew she was in-avertedly hurting the man she loved the most in her life. She had always loved Patrick Daniel a lot too. So much, the notion of telling the truth was eating her up.

But, their reaction concerned her a lot. Would Angel sue for custody? Would they hate her and Spike for the rest of their life? Buffy had to tell Angel, but what about Patrick? He loved Spike more than life itself. Shattering his illusions, scaring him for the rest of his life was too hard.

Buffy decided no matter what, Patrick had known Spike as his dad, and that's how it would stay, until Patrick was 18 years old and capable of understanding something so twisted as his parents story.

Even if that decision destroyed Angel.

But, the other choice was not to tell Angel the truth…ever. And she couldn't deal with that anymore, not with Faith's heart on her chest. Buffy still loved Angel, no matter how badly she wanted to deny it. Now, that she owned him her life, she was just pressed upon giving something back, returning the gift she had been given, undoing the huge mistake she had done nine years ago.

He was already going thorough so much. Adding wood to the fire seemed wrong and cruel. And she didn't want to be like that with him. She already had Faith's heart, should she tell him about the baby? Or keep quiet?

The bottom line was: he deserved to know. He had told her the truth about Faith's heart straight up; did he not deserve the same honesty?

He did deserve to know the existence of his only son, to have a chance to build a relationship with him, no matter what white lie was told to cover the naked true from his innocent eyes. Who was she to separate them so cruelly? He would love him; she was so sure of it, that it hurt her.

Buffy decided not to try and have another relationship with Angel ever again, too much water over that flimsy bridge. Going to NY seemed the most reasonable thing at the moment. And then, she could find the time to tell Angel… he and Buffy had made a baby together.

They had a son whose name was Patrick Daniel Frazier and was almost nine years old. She would also have to explain Angel why the boy had Spike's last name and called him 'Daddy' and that was when the real sting would come.

zzz

Angel was simultaneously envious and happy that Buffy had a life in NY—without him—but he wanted to see Spike and Willow too. Try and be friends again. Each time he left Buffy's room, he yearned strongly to go back to her, go with her wherever she was going to.

Buffy had told him Spike was in NY too, that he never came visit because of his schedule at the Hospital. But, he would love to have Angel come over and visit him anytime.

She had thought Angel would never go.

zzz

Making the time, finding the place

Angel had taken an unpredictable, rash, insane decision…he had quit his job at UCLA. Deciding to make a clean start elsewhere, some small practice where he could have a life as well…something closer to his dreams; something more fulfilling and less demanding…something away from Darla, from California and from everything else that used to be him.

He was going away, problem was…where.

Angel picked up the phone and started doing arrangements to his new life right away, he had money, great credentials and free time, what was there stopping him from reaching his dreams?

"If it's not now; when? I finally have the time to have a fresh start on the east coast where some of my closest friends are. And I really want to be there, Wesley," his friend was calling from his apartment in Greenwich Village, where Angel had stayed a couple of times over the years with him and Wesley's wife, Winifred. They weren't exactly close. But, they had seen each other at seminaries and courses. That was good enough to make a call.

Wesley Windam Price was Buffy's Cardiologist at the Jewish Medical Center in New York, he knew she'd had the surgery, and that it had been Angel's work, but, knowing her whole medical history, Willow had asked him to keep patient-doctor confidence for her sake, Wesley knew too much and his friendship with Angel could induce him to confess hard kept secrets in-avertedly. Had Wesley actually known Angel was Patrick's biological father he probably would have told him, not realizing the storm that would have created.

"I understand. Fred and I would love to have you over. I have many friends at John Hopkins, I'll get you a courtesy and we'll see how you find the ambience," Angel smiled. It was just what he wanted to hear.

"I'd love to! I'm booking a flight as we speak. How's late October for you?" Wesley Windam Price consulted his calendar for a few seconds and noticed there was a seminar on coronaries that week. Angel would be great to make a small appearance.

They were both famous Cardiologists.

"Sounds excellent how are you on coronaries? Would you like to teach a short lecture?" Angel considered for a minute his background and resent operations. He was definitely an expert on that subject. He had even developed a new procedure with his staff.

"More than good, sign me up. I'll be arriving at JFK around noon October 20th. I'll see you guys then?" he was so sure of this idea, he bought a one way ticket and a whole month of stay at The Peninsula. He was definitely an expensive traveler.

"You can count on it. See you then. It was great talking to you. Say hi to Buffy from me." Angel gasped at that. Wesley made Angel thought he knew about Buffy somehow. When had he mentioned her before? That made Angel really suspicious. He decided then and there that it was going to be kept quiet, he wouldn't tell her in advance, not knowing that surprises like that could kill her.

Truth was: Willow had mentioned Angel was the doctor treating Buffy in LA.

"It was great talking to you too. Bye, Wesley. Send me an email with all the details of the seminar." He knew she was going to travel by bus. A flight was too risky for the operation. Sort of like a road trip with Willow, Giles, Dawn …and the mysterious Patrick Daniel he had heard Joyce and Dawn speaking of, without realizing he was eavesdropping.

He was ready to meet him. Except, Buffy was going to be released that week, and the man would come later.

"Will do, take care, Angel." He wondered who it was, but, it seemed by the tone used about him that he was a family member, perhaps a cousin or an uncle.

It didn't matter much to him. He was going to New York. No matter what part of the world it was, he would be where Buffy was; she was never going to be far away from him …ever again.

**End of chapter 3…**

**zzz**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 "To Abide" 

zzz

**Manhattan, New York**

November 2005 I Don't like Surprises, I like You 

People seldom realize that the things they've said…always come back to them. As it was, Angel never thought twice of making heartfelt declarations, when Buffy was in a hospital, barely alive and heavily sedated, such were his declarations that he had caused a considerable reaction on a rather sensitive patient, who was lying with her chest pull together by a bunch of gauzes and tapes, someone who had just received a heart transplant.

Angel's words had eased Buffy a great deal when she was in the ICU, when she was all alone and desperate for kindness, but when she became wide awake in her room much later, she had tried desperately to forget how much she had loved him in the past, or how hurt it made her feel just to see him, to wonder what could've been if she had told him the truth back then; Buffy had been deeply contemplating if two thousand miles were enough distant to put between them now she had Angel's son as well as his sister's heart.

Furthermore, due to Buffy's incredible improvement and untimely recovery, Angel had propelled himself into a curse of action known to mankind as: _a leap of Faith_. It was something like that old say: _Love makes you do the wacky_. So, Buffy and Angel were still madly in love with each other, they just didn't know about it.

Angel hadn't given it much thought to the circumstances surrounding Buffy, but he still thought she would give him another chance, that she would be happy to see him again. And moved by that spur of the moment commotion of love, he had charged unto the east coast, with no thoughts of what could have been at the other side of the country waiting for him whatsoever.

As soon as he arrived at JFK airport, his renovation had began; he bought a new car, new clothes, a new haircut, and a whole new attitude towards life, trusting those things would help him persuade Buffy to give him a bit of her time, to at least hear him out, before she sent him straight to hell.

Wesley Windam Price, his only friend on NY, had picked him up, and dropped him at 5th avenue. Angel had been armed with his Centurion American Express black card, and a tourist guide of shopping in New York.

He decided to stay at The Peninsula hotel, one of the most beautiful and luxurious hotels in Manhattan, 5th avenue with 55th Street, just a few blocks from Central Park, in a particular corner of midtown Manhattan, a stone's throw from icons like Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall and Tiffany & Company, all that plus the most spectacular rooms and views of New York, or so he had been told.

In that overtly luxurious lobby he had found a medical guide. '_Doctor Buffy Summers, PHD. Madison Avenue, 2330, Manhattan, New York. Consultations, Monday to Saturday 8am to 5pm.' _That beautiful day of November was Saturday. She should have probably been there. Angel decided he would pay his favorite patient a little visit; see how she was doing since the surgery.

zzz

_**Many Dollars later…**_

"Is Doctor Summers around?" Asked Angel to the girl sitting behind the desk, Anya Harris was Buffy's secretary, and one of her closest friend.

"Yes, do you have an appointment?" Buffy had recently returned from California, her surgery a major success in all accounts. Angel hadn't seen her since the last special visit he had made as an expert consultant back in October, when she was still at the hospital. It had been four weeks now since the surgery. Buffy hadn't gone to the bank yet. She would go there somewhere along that week; so she didn't know what Angel had done for her yet.

Wesley, Who was Buffy's cardiologist at the Jewish Medical Center, had seen her the day before, informing her that she had just started a new life. Her ECG (Electro cardiogram) was normal and her T-killers cells count was very low, as it should have been with the cocktail of drugs she was taking. Wesley had assured her that she was in very good health (bar the no immune system) and was recommended to take it easy from that point on; nothing except stress and very bad eating habits could spoil her perfect heart, Faith's perfect heart.

"I'm afraid not. It's a surprise visit…I'm an old friend of hers," Buffy was still on anti-rejection drugs, and was forbidden to go anywhere near sick people, airplanes, or dangerous roller coasters rides, strong emotions included on that category.

"Oh, I thought you were a patient. I'll tell her you are here then. What's your name?" Seeing Angel on her consult was definitely going to be an emotional ride.

"Hedgehog, _mister hedgehog._" Anya tried to keep her face straight as she said his name through the intercom, but failed. She was giggling all the way through. He was very good looking, so not a porcupine type!

"I don't know anybody with that name." Buffy thought she would remember someone so unlucky as to be named like that. Except for one boy that used to joke about that…

"Yes you do. He's tall, brunette, handsome, huge brown eyes…and he's standing right in front of me." Deliciously in front of me, thought Anya.

"I-I don't …Angel!" He smiled and walked through the living room and into her office, the door had been open, and obviously Buffy wasn't in with another patient.

"Hi, baby." She was all alone, still organizing her desk after all the commotion; everything should have been ready before receiving patients; she had just arrived at work that day, having hardly enough time to recover from her surgery or to work on a regular basis.

"Angel. What are—what are you doing here?" Buffy stuttered and nearly feel to the floor when she saw him standing there, all smug and handsome, with his huge bulk of a body overtaking her small door, invading her nostrils with his expensive—and very alluring—Armani perfume. Oh he was a sight for the sore eye with that white shirt, dark blue pants and sunglasses, he looked as if he had just shoot a campaign for Hugo Boss.

"I thought I paid my favorite patient a little visit, you know just to check you out, I mean up," Buffy thanked her luck inwardly since Patrick had been at home all week, and thanks to that Angel hadn't seen him.

"You don't look very happy to see me," said Angel when she didn't comment on his hint, she really wasn't; his visit was too out of the blue for her health.

"No! I mean, no, I'm not—I mean—I am happy you're here…I'm very happy." She noticed he was more slick than before, hair trimmed, clothes fitting tighter, face shaved recently, damn, he was still so very good looking, George Clooney had nothing on him.

"Ok. I'll take your word for that. But, how are you? Really," he walked towards her desk and gave her a brief hug, Buffy stifled a cry, and managed to tap his shoulder briefly, she hadn't been prepared for the feeling of anxiety his closeness had caused her.

"I'm fine. Really, I'm perfectly fine. I went to the doctor yesterday. Wesley Windam Price. Do you perhaps know him? I had the stitches removed already, he did and ECG yesterday, he says I'm perfectly fine," he looked down towards her breasts; they were beautiful and perky as usual. But, she was wearing a turtle neck, still a bit self-conscious about the scars.

"I actually do. He's a great physician. You're in very good hands… So, how was the road trip then?" Buffy was flushed and her eyes were franticly glancing to and fro, she obviously wasn't _happy _that he was there.

"Good, really good. In fact, it was fun. I've never done that one before in my life. There was so much to see! How about you? How's Darla?" she looked him in the eye then. He noticed she was nervous, unsure of what to say, afraid of something.

"She's fine. We—I filed for divorce—weeks ago, I told you that. We're officially separated. I quitted my job in LA, I moved out, sold the house, the car, and the rest of it. I'm starting with a clean slate… here." He took a step away from her and looked down to her desk. It was a mess, full of papers and folders. She was neck deep in filing.

"That sounds very therapeutic. Would you like to sit down? I'm so sorry; I'm so out of it! Please, sit down and have some coffee. Anya! Please bring us some coffee!" Buffy tidied up the mess a little and a huge stack took form. She had a mountain of paperwork to do, or so it seemed.

"Thanks, sit down yourself, it's going to be a long talk. Remember what you said about free therapy to pay for my honoraries?" Anya brought them coffee and cookies.

"I do? Well, in that case, let me get my notebook and my pen." Buffy relaxed a bit, it seemed he was there as a patient. She could deal with that, at least she thought so.

"Where should I start?" She sat down with her legs crossed and Angel took notice of the place for the first time; it breathed of her, pastel colors, a painting of gardens, modern furnishing and a collection of colorful pens; a few pictures, turned to her side, and a reasonably modern computer.

Her diplomas and certificates were hanging on the farthest corner, so as not to seem pretentious. She was wearing glasses with red breams just to seem older and serious, even though he knew she didn't need them.

"Well, with your parents, it's always a lot to talk about there." He smiled, untying his tie, and making himself comfortable, propping a foot on top of the opposite knee. He could talk freely to Buffy, no feelings of been under the microscope whatsoever.

"God, I hadn't talk to a therapist in years! My parents you said? I guess I should begin by saying…I didn't like them." The coffee and the cookies smoothed the awkward silences and made the nervousness in him subside; before he knew it he was telling her everything he had gone through the past ten years and even before that.

**zzz**

"Why start over in New York then?"

"Well, among other reasons, because …YOU are here. I thought—I remember you saying you wanted to be friends—and that you were willing to give me a second chance, bar all that messy baggage we've got together," Buffy nearly jumped out of the chair, after almost two hours of no hints he dropped a bomb like that on her.

"I never said that! … Did I? I said that we could be friends—the thing is, Angel. That I have, that we have…" a son, she meant to say she had made a baby with Angel, a son whose name was Patrick.

"Lied, you weren't serious. You didn't mean that…is it about somebody else?" He thought she would say she was in a relationship with another man, Spike namely.

"No! It's not about that. The thing is…" the thing was, Buffy was sure Angel would hate her once he found out about Patrick.

"You've changed your mind."

"That's not the thing either."

"Then, what the hell is the matter?" Angel was starting to lose his patience.

"I never thought YOU were going to move here! I'm not ready for this. You caught me by surprise, and you expect me to jump up and down in happiness! It's not like that, it's a complicated thing…"

"I see…you just don't wanna be friends with me then?"

"Goddamn it! Of course I do! … There are things, …secrets, people, situations—the whole way of my life here that I can't explain to you now!"

"Calm down, baby. You are making a fuzz out of nothing."

"Don't you dare patronize me, Angelus O'Quinn! I've changed, and so have you. You understand that it isn't as easy as you think, don't you?"

"Do you understand _ME_? What I'm going through right now, I need Help…I thought you could…at least give me a hand with all this changes in my life, I nee help, Buffy; your help." she stopped ranting and glanced into his eyes. They were shiny and soulful, full of unshed tears.

"I'm sorry, Angel. There is just so much water under our bridge! I'm just … sorry, I do wanna help you! But not like that."

"Why? You're not going to die and I'm not on the other side of the country. What is there between us? Why can't you just give me a chance? I'm not asking you to marry me! I just want to be friends. Is that so hard to do?"

"Oh, Angel! I don't know what to say to you! You've come so far already."

"Lets have dinner tonight, it's not going to kill you, you know? Just food." When he putted it that way, it was a hard to resist invitation; and there really wasn't much danger in a dinner invitation.

"Just this once, and _only dinner_. Nothing else."

"It's dinner, not a marriage proposal!"

"Whatever, I want your word on it, just one dinner, tonight."

"Fine, you have my word on it. We where talking about my marriage…can we continue with our session?"

"_Back to the whole therapy issue then. I th_ink it was very wise of you to stay married for so long, even though you were clearly the only one committed to that marriage. At least you know you tried. It gives you points for consistency." It meant she hadn't alienated Patrick from his father for nothing.

"Never had that 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome. When I said yes, I—more or less—meant it. I did love her, or at least I thought I did. It isn't that easy to open your eyes, and see something right in front of you, specially when you've stubbornly clung to the idea of keeping your eyes shut for the rest of your life."

"What do you mean?"

"I only married Darla because she reminded me of the women I loved, but couldn't have... And even though it took me years to understand her motivations, it took me even longer to understand Darla was nothing like she seemed at the beginning; I married a pretense, the only thing she ever cared about was money and status, nothing else, nothing about me, nothing to do with my feelings."

"Did you ever think of going to couple's therapy? Or having children?"

"Of course I did. Like I said, Darla was a twenty something _child_. No point on having a child herself. Besides, she couldn't even commit to a plant, what makes you think she would have ever committed to a serious relationship with another human being. Even if she had, I could've never trusted her, she couldn't keep herself out of trouble, a child would have been a obstacle to her."

"I see… Do you still love her? Do you think perhaps she could still change?"

"Psych class 101 Buffy, 'people don't change, unless they want to' and she had plenty of opportunity to do it before; now, it just not possible. If she changes, it won't be for me; it will be because she understands she has made a mistake and wants to mend. Do I love her? No, I respect her. I care for her. But, it's not love. It's sympathy, some undying sense of loyalty and friendship. But, not love. Not for her, not ever. You of all people should see that." Once again, Buffy was caught in the deep mahogany of his eyes, was he implying she was the love of his life?

"I see, I mean I understand… What about coming here then?"

"What about that, baby?"

"What are you expecting from me?"

"Not to come out callous, but I expect professionalism; your friendship would certainly be nice too, and a good lay, _that wouldn't come unnoticed either_… for Christ's sake, Buffy! I expect nothing from you. I—desire nothing, expect nothing from you— but to be friends again, I can only _expect_ that you give me a hand in picking up the pieces of my fucked-up life. You know it's not just sex with you. We'll be friends, we'll see where it gets us and _we'll act like two mature, consenting adults._ You'll give me what you desire to give me, and I'll be very happy with that. Ok?"

"I have no idea how to do that!"

"Well, for starters I need to find an apartment and get a new job. There are just a million things to do in order to get settled here, and you can give me your opinion on all those things; that's how you can help me. That is, if you still want to be friends with me…"

"I don't know…you know what, _ok_, that it's not on my job description. But, I can do that, you basically want a personal assistant, right?"

"You could call it like that."

"And if she slept with you, it wouldn't be bad either. Right?" Angel could tell Buffy had turned very cynical over the years.

"That would be great. But, I thought you weren't into that." Buffy could tell Angel had a very one-track mind; he would try to all possible means to get in her pants again.

"No, I wouldn't. Except we were talking about some serious commission on the side." Money had always been Angel's number one asset, but her knew Buffy wouldn't fall just for that; he had to offer her more than just a pretty wallet.

"What kind of commission do you have in mind?"

"A boat would be nice. What? Are you still in the business?"

"Not myself, but I could definitely get you one. Planning on sailing?"

"I'm kidding, Angel, you know I can't take that! I tell you what we are going to do—with this whole remaking of your life nonsense."

"Go ahead, I'm taking notes."

"You go and get yourself a laptop, and start looking for apartments. When you do find one you like, I'll go with you and give it my approval. Once you've decided on that, I'll help you pick the decoration. About the sex…"

"Well talk about it at dinner tonight! I'll see you at seven thirty. Wear a dress, I'm taking you somewhere nice."

"Angel!"

"What, Buffy?"

"I'm sorry I freaked at you. I really am happy you are here but you shouldn't have done that, you should have at least called me before landing square and fare on my door. Talk about impulsive people!"

"Great, I'm happy to be here too. Take care, I'll see you later!"

"Wait! What about your therapy?"

"Oh, we'll pick it up where we left it later tonight!"

"Where are you staying?"

"The Peninsula Hotel."

"That's a very expensive place."

"It's ok. I'm a very expensive man."

"I know. You still owe me 200 bucks."

"For what?"

"That fancy underwear you ruined ten years ago."

"Remind me to repay you that!"

"_Bye, Angel_!"

"Bye, baby. I'll call you later." Buffy finally sat down, or collapsed on the chair more likely, Angel had made her palms sweat, her heart race …and her panties turn soaking wet. She had picked up all of his hints, they had found their way into her heart, making her remember how badly she wanted to jump him on the spot and seize that sizzling chemistry that was still there between them.

She couldn't deny her body's response to him. She was still his, body and soul alike. There was no point in hiding the rush of blood surging through her veins at the thought of him inside her, those strong arms surrounding her, that perfect mouth kissing her.

But there was still a tiny little issue between them—not the unfinished marriage, or his sister's heart inside her chest— none of those, it was his son, Buffy had a little secret about Angel that she had to spit out sooner or later.

Buffy knew it wouldn't be long before she fell into his arms again. One couldn't put much resistance to those chocolate eyes. Problem was: when to tell the truth, how!

With so much happening on her office and everything else, Buffy postponed once again, her going to the bank, she knew they would drilled her with unpaid bills and due payments; so she pushed all the envelopes back into the top drawer and decided a few more days wouldn't mean anything; with so much debt as she had it would only give her time to build-up her arguments as to why the bank should give her yet another extension.

**zzz**

_**California, 1996**_

_**Same day Buffy and Angel made love for the first time**_

"_You look beautiful." What else could he say? She did look amazing; the long black dress, the tight peek-a-boo bodice, the sultry makeup, the stunning jewelry and the sparkling hair._

_"Thanks. It's spring prom. I had to look my best." Angel was wearing a nice tux, with navy blue striping. He handed her the corsage, adorned with Orchids._

_"Everything alright? You sound down, Baby." She gazed at it and smiled, it was a pretty gesture._

_"Nothing. It's Just mom and dad, going at it as usual. I wanted them to take a second to stop arguing, and look at me. I did work to be pretty tonight…what the hell! They're never going to change. Thanks for the flowers. Shall we go now?" Buffy looped her arm through Angel's._

_"Absolutely…Goodbye Mister Summers!" Hank had been standing at the window, waiting for Buffy to leave with Angel. He gestured them goodbye and closed the window, the argument with Joyce taking heat again._

_"I hope Dawn has the Nirvana cd blasting already. Poor thing, they drilled her because she got a D on geometry. She's just a baby." Angel had been thinking of Buffy's sister as they left the house. But, that night wasn't for big talks; that night was meant for loving._

_"Don't worry; she'll get better grades next times. I'll help her. You should help her too, you're good with numbers." Buffy laughed, as Angel opened the door to his metallic blue Ashton Martin._

_"It's not that! She did it on purpose. They never pay attention to her when she gets good grades. It's the bad one the holler about. Dawn hasn't understood the finer points of parental guidance yet." Angel could sympathize, for most of his elementary school he had been on the lower half on the class, as far as grades went. But, when Buffy arrived he meant to strive for more, he wanted her attention. And he got it. They had always studied together ever since, getting straight A's from that point on._

_"Have you talked to her about it? Does she know she'll never get the attention she needs like that?" Buffy shrugged._

_"I told her that, more or less. But, she's 9. It's not like she knows psychology. I can tell her what to do…she already hates me without much talking, imaging me getting one-on-one with her…that just wouldn't make sense."_

_"But, she's your baby sister,"_

_"That's the thing Angel, emphasis on the baby part, I'm not her mom, I can't be lecturing her. Especially when mom makes so much of a difference of treatment between us already,"_

_"What do you mean?" Buffy pushed the corset a bit down, so, the scar would show._

_" 'Your sister's weak, don't argue with her' 'Buffy has to stay calm, stop bothering her' 'Buffy can't go with you to science fair, she just had a valve replacement' 'your sister is a sick little thing, don't get close to her with that flu' 'your sister it's not like you'" Buffy was mimicking her mothers usual speech._

_"Oh! Like that then, I guess I would have hated you too, if I didn't know better."_

_"Exactly. Let's just stop talking about 'Dawn the dwarf', ok?" Angel stopped in front of a light and Buffy leaned in to kiss him._

_"You taste like strawberries."_

_"It's the lipstick…where are we going?"_

_"To 'El mirador' it had the nicest view of LA."_

_"That sounds very romantic."_

_"It is."_

_**Zzz**_

_"I love you, Buffy," there was no point in saying anything else. He had her lying down beside him on the blanket he'd brought over. "I want us to be together forever."_

_"I love you too…this is nice, a bit cold, but, nice…come closer." Angel rose and kneeled in front of her, pulling a box from his pocket._

_"I picked this place, because it had the nicest view, and, because I wanted to do it outdoors, in case you had to scream."_

_"Angel! What the hell are you talking about! I will not have sex with you here!" Angel took Buffy's left hand between his, and looked up, searching her eyes._

_"I've known you my whole life, I know it's you…I love you…I want to marry you. Would you marry me?" Buffy coughed and her eyes went huge as sparkling stars. She couldn't believe he was proposing to her! She was only 15 years old; and he 18, soon to be 19._

_"Angel! I'm fifteen years old! I can't marry you, I'm not even out of high school."_

_"I don't mean now, in a few years, when you are old enough…when I'm old enough."_

_"Then why are you asking me now!"_

_"Because! I mean to have you tonight, and many nights after that, and, it doesn't feel right, to do it without giving you something first…this." Angel extracted a box from his pocket and opened in front of Buffy's face, it contained a blue diamond ring; while he waited for Buffy to inspect the ring he closed his eyes, expecting the worse. _

_"Oh my god! It's beautiful…why? Why are you giving me this?" Buffy's eyes shined with unshed tears as she watched the silver thing closely; she sat up and placed both her hands around Angel's, covering the ring between them._

_"Because! I love you; I want you to know that I'm serious about you. I want you to know… that I mean to stay with you for the rest of my life…if you want me to." Buffy did cry then, wrapping her arms about Angel's head._

_"Of course I want to!" The air was chilly, and Angel felt Goosebumps about his arms._

_"Put it on then." Buffy pushed him away from her and made him stood up against her, keeping the ring on the palm of her hand._

_"But, I can't do this. I've seen this; it was your mother's engagement ring. I can't take this! I see that you are serious. I'm serious too. Believe me. I'm damn serious about you. I love you, you don't need to prove me anything." He took her hand and slid the ring dawn on her engagement finger. It fit perfectly on her._

_"Yes I do, you are going to be my wife one day Buffy Anne Summers, I swear it to every single God out there! I swear it to you here and now."_

_"Doesn't matter if I die tomorrow?"_

_"No! It doesn't. You'll be buried with this, and everyone will know you were mine… and that I love you more than anything else in the world."_

_"Angel, please!"_

_"Don't plead. This is how it is…Buffy: you and me together for the rest of our lives." He wrapped his arms around Buffy, snuggling her inside his coat, burying his face on her neck._

_"Are you sure? I can't bear it if you're not. Don't tell me this, if you mean to break my heart later," he hugged her more tightly feeling her bones yield to his embrace._

_"Never, I would rather die than see you in pain. I'll never hurt you, I swear it." Their eyes met for an everlasting second and their bodies drew together in exquisite slowness, making the journey as blind people, finding the sweetest spots on each other's heavy silence; A book of unsaid words shimmering between them._

_"I believe you, Angel. Kiss me now please." He did so, taking his time to feel the texture and tenor of her lips, growing hungry with each breath._

_"Tonight, then." He pulled apart with grim determination; the cruel waiting would harden his glory._

_"After the party." Buffy sighed, caught between trembling and running; frightened, amused and aroused at the same time; her stomach tying itself in knots, her mind envisioning the short coming future with joy and dread simultaneously._

_"Come now, baby. They are all waiting for us." Buffy and Angel walked together to the car, hands entwined, with their hearts full of anticipation._

_zzz_

_**Afterwards, and not yet the end…**_

_**(Right after the prologue) **_

_"It's different from what I imagined," Buffy kept her arms around Angel's naked chest, feeling secure beside him, laying together on the hotel bed they had just shared minutes ago._

_"Different good or different bad?" Angel kissed her temple, feeling the pangs of arousal coming to him again. Buffy was gazing tenderly at her ring. She loved it. It was a silver claddagh ring with a blue diamond, shaped like a heart in the middle, an heirloom._

_"Good! Very good…oh, don't tell me you want to do it again! I'm kinda…sore," his dick was straining the sheet up. Buffy had made him feel more than reasonably aroused._

_"Maybe… you don't want to?" Buffy snorted as she toyed with Angel's navel._

_"Of course I do! No condom please, I know we shouldn't, it's bad, it's stupid, it's careless and everything, but it burns so badly, I'm sure I'm allergic, I trust you, do you trust me too?" Angel nodded as he pushed her on top him, her legs astride._

_"You are the only one I would do this with, of course I trust you." He used his hands to caress her breast, she immediately yielded, becoming hollow and malleable, her whole body on fire._

_"Would you go down on me again?" Angel smirked and pushed her up, grabbing her ass between his hands…_

_**(Oy how annoying is fan fiction dot net! I had to remove a nice little sex scene that was here…sorry! Wanna read it? Go to the link!)**_

_"Heavens. You are the most beautiful, sexy, delicious thing in the world… and I love you. I'll never forget this day…I will love you for the rest of my life." He eased his penis out of her and stayed with his body supported on his elbows, kissing Buffy's face mindlessly. _

_"My God I feel so tired." Buffy relaxed further and further until her body became languid and she fell asleep. She had never been so pleased before on her life, so strangely and deeply satisfied. She was truly spent for the first time and so had been Angel._

_Zzz_

_That night had been so good, a baby came out of it. Buffy thought she couldn't honestly call Patrick a mistake, or a consequence even. It was their miracle, a love baby. That much pleasure was bound to create something perfect like Patrick Daniel. After that, Buffy had never actually viewed sex the same way._

_It made a world of difference, not to say any other men were virtually invisible for her, had always been and will always be. Spike included in that category._

_If Angel had known he would have gone crazy, for and with her. Thinking back, he would have stayed with her, giving her his name, his life, his support, anything she needed, she wonder once again, why on God's name she had kept quiet._

_Darla and Angel, that was why. He had been mean, going straight back with 'The bitch form hell' forgetting he trusted Buffy at the first compromising situation, cursed and insulted her, when she knew she was innocent. Even Spike had sworn they weren't together, they'd never been. _

_But, Angel had been a deft machine of jealousy, thinking the worse of his best friend and his girlfriend, and as she found out later, he had been brainwashed by Faith, so very Othello of him, if he could he would have killed Buffy and Spike, but, he didn't, he went away, cut his links, and acted like they've never known each other in the first place; forgetting all, the love, the engagement, the promises, everything that had laid between Buffy and him. _

_How was Buffy to tell him after all this, that she was pregnant with his baby? He would have shouted her that she was a liar; it had to be Spike's. And Buffy couldn't bear that, so she went away too, keeping that huge, devastating secret with her._

_On their graduation prom Angel had look at Buffy twice without saying anything at all, and whispering without words "I hate you" very loudly. It had seemed to Buffy and Willow he loved Darla a lot more back then._

_So Buffy decided to step out. Darla would live, give him everything he needed. She would share a bright future with him, and be happily ever after. Even though Buffy knew by then she was pregnant, and had Angel had eyes he would have seen her sad and moping all the time; If not round and healthy as she had never been before._

_Angel had only noticed she was more beautiful than ever, and thought painfully so that Spike was making her very happy._

_Now, she knew a look like that meant jealousy, not hate. He had been as torn and jaded about the situation as her, broken in the sick feeling of envy. How badly had Angel envied Spike those days, hated him for having the women he loved with all his heart._

_It had seemed reasonable at the time to put distance between them. But, with the things Angel had said of their marriage to Buffy, she had gathered: Angel still loved Buffy. He had always loved Buffy and forever will. Darla had been his biggest mistake. _

_What an Irony, she thought._

_If they had only talked about it, things would be so different now. No point on regrets this late, right?_

…It will continue on chapter 4 part B…

**zzz**

**Chapter 4 part B**

**A night to remember you by**

"My God!"

Angel noticed Buffy was wearing something vintage, forties look alike, a cocktail dress that seemed see-through, but wasn't, her hair was tumbling down to a side in glossy locks, she was a vision from old Hollywood as she came out of the yellow cab.

The color of her outfit was something like plum, a dark shade of purple, incrusted with tiny glittering stones on the hem and the cleavage, making her sparkle with the soft lights of the restaurant. The color made her eyes stand a glorious aquamarine in contrast to her crimson mouth and Smokey eyes. His beloved was a breathtaking sight that night.

A light breeze flew from behind her and carried her perfume to him. He wondered how he could ever forget she smelled of French vanilla and roses, with a hint of her natural essence, so very alluring. He walked towards his date without even thinking about it, gravitating around her pull.

The layers on the under skirt went around her like a bell as she walked, swinging with each step she took. The shoes, seemed to Angel an impossible construction of black stripes, a pair of knock-off Jimmy Choo Stilettos, studded with lace, and black-red crystals.

She had a tiny purse on her hand. And she was walking with the grace of swans. Making it seemed like a star about to go down the red carpet, not someone who had been on death row only a month ago.

"You look beautiful." He was wearing an Armani suit, with a nice satin blue tie featuring the perfect composure of a seasoned gentleman, even though he was drooling inside.

Buffy had caused him an instantaneous erection. Together they had stood motionless, gazing at each other under the threshold, before entering 'Fives' at 5th avenue, both unsure of what to say or do, both caught up in the moment of decision.

"Thank you. You look pretty nice yourself, here, let me fix your tie…it was a bit crooked." Buffy decided to make the first move, eliminating the distance between them, she got hold of his neck for a second, and he just bent down to kiss her. She meant to move her face to the side, so he kissed her cheek, but in the end …she didn't.

Angel's hands flew on their own volition to her waist, fasting her body to his. Buffy closed her eyes for a second, welcoming the heated kiss. He groped her hips and grinded them against his pelvis, making her feel his arousal, inserting his tongue deeply into her mouth, merging his lips with hers in a fierce, all-consuming embrace.

It was a kiss to remember all the kisses than hadn't been given over nine years of insufferable separation.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, and arched her foot up, like old Hollywood movies; her toes had curled inside the shoes, the rush of desire so high she felt dizzy. How was it that he could turn her into pudding with a single kiss?

He let go reluctantly and sighed before the bellboy started clearing his throat behind them.

"Thank you, —would you like to go inside?" Said Angel, he grabbed Buffy's hand and laced his fingers with her, making obvious that they were together, at least for that night.

"I'd love to." the hostess showed them to the lovely table reserved for them. A bottle of Crystal was already cooling there.

"Have you ever been here before?" He sat beside her, rather than in front. So he could be closer to her, maybe even touch her leg. The table had been designed for four people, but if fitted two perfectly nice and close.

"No. Are we expecting somebody?" There was another set of forks and plates in place.

"Not at all. But, I've learned that women love to have an extra chair for the purse, and it's the nicest table. I thought you'd like it." Buffy sighed and placed her tiny purse on extra chair to her left, reaching for his hand with the other hand.

"That's a very nice gesture, Angel. Thank you. I love it. Would you please pour me a drink?" He did what she asked without delay, and soon Buffy poured down the drink bottoms up; She did her innocent face when he asked wordlessly if she'd like a refill, and Angel couldn't help to want to kiss her again, but this time on the cheek, taking Buffy by surprise as he did so.

"If I didn't say it before, I think you look stunning tonight…and you shouldn't drink like that on an empty stomach." Buffy blushed and the champagne bubbles went all the way to her brain. She had to tell him the truth that night, but in order to do that she needed courage, the one that came straight from the bottom of a bottle.

"You did. Thank you again. And let me remind you I'm over 21 so I can drink as mush as I want, and as fast as I want." Then Buffy was stunned speechless once again; one of the waitresses had a huge bouquet of the most beautiful and exotic flowers. And she was coming Buffy's way.

"Excuse me, are you Buffy Summers?" Buffy turned her eyes to Angel, glaring. He hadn't done that! He hadn't bought her flowers.

She had never been given flowers before. Except that night she was thinking about before. The night she had been remembering as she dressed herself up for the man of her dreams.

"I'm afraid, I Am." she handled Buffy the arraignment. And Angel signed up the receipt. The bouquet was called 'Exotic belle of the west' with orchids, roses, violets, tulips, lilies, sunflowers, eucalyptus, marigolds, honeysuckle, and jasmines. The hair had turned fragrant with the headiness of it.

"Do you like it?"

Buffy felt tears gather around her eyes involuntarily. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. And it had a note, written with his Doctor-like thorny writing.

'_**I hope it's not too late. Love, Mister Hedgehog'**_

"Angel! You shouldn't have done this!" He leaned down on his chair and smiled. He had scored a nice point with the gesture, but the night was far from over.

**Zzz**

"I hope it wasn't too much." Later that night a violinist had come and serenaded her. A few Cole Porter's song and even Aerosmith's 'I don't wanna miss a thing' Buffy was definitely snowed by the end of the night.

"No. It was perfect. Food was great. Place was great. The Flowers were great everything was just great. It was the perfect date." Angel stood up then. After paying the bill, he went to the Lobby of the hotel. 'Fives' was at the ground level of The Peninsula Hotel, where Angel was staying temporarily.

"Would you like to go upstairs for a while? Have some coffee?" Buffy wasn't surprised; she knew he had it coming. It was a round-perfect setting.

"I'd be lying if I say I didn't. And, I don't like to lie…lets go, but just to talk, there's things we should talk about," he stood beside her and placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the place.

"Ok, baby. We'll just talk." True to his words he didn't kiss her or tried to make a move on her. He walked with her, keeping very little distance, but conscious of the heavy silence between them.

zzz

"This isn't a room! This is better than my apartment," the suite was very large, furnished with sophisticated style and sumptuous pieces. Everything was very expensive about the hotel including the minibar.

"It has to be. It costs me a small fortune. Would you like something to drink?" Buffy went straight to the balcony.

"A soda would fine. My God! The view it's spectacular!" He poured her a club soda, and walked towards her, standing behind her in a few steps, burying his nose against her neck with eyes closed. He did love her vanilla essence.

"I know. I've never seen anything so beautiful before in my life." He meant her. He was looking right through her clothes, wanting her with his entire being.

"Angel, there's something I have to tell you, something very important." She turned her neck to the side and he started nipping the flesh of her column.

"Anything." She moaned as Angel sucked her earring into his mouth, making her shiver all over, forgetting everything she meant to say.

"We have…" he pushed his hand beneath the layers of the dress, going deeper and closer to her sex. Making small strokes on her thighs as he went up. Buffy left the soda on the banister, steadying his hand on her flesh when he reached her wet core of sensation, she gasped when he pushed two fingers inside her.

"Everything …anything. We have the rest of our lives to talk. Now, we have this feeling of lust…" Angel panted as Buffy placed her hand on top of his rigid shaft, making small and mindless circles around the head. He was every bit as large and hard as she remembered.

"I can't do this…I'm sorry." She turned around and kissed him hard once, stepping away from him in a hasty way, letting him disconcerted.

"I understand…it's a bit early. I can wait." Buffy went to the balcony door and opened it with grim determination. She was too close to the edge.

"We need to take this slow. Tonight it's too soon…I'm just not that kind of girl. Tonight was great. We'll do it again a few more times. And then we'll think about this…thing between us."

Buffy hiccupped frightened; she was positively drunk and scared to death of exposing her secret. It was a wonder she had managed to step away from him at all. A ten year old yearn was swarming on her bloodstream, calling her towards her Angel.

It was wild, and the fear, that overpowering fear was the only thing that had gotten her away from him. She didn't want to tell the truth anymore. And if she stayed, she would have to tell him…after he fucked her mindlessly.

"Before you go, give me a good night kiss." Buffy touched her own lips, still tingling from the violent kiss she had just given him.

"Alright, just good night kisses, Angel …come here then." He walked purposely and grabbed Buffy's face between his hands, mashing his mouth with hers, massaging her tongue with his, biting her lips with raw lust, and sucking her breath out of her before he released her. He meant to make her remember _that particular kiss indeed_.

"Goodnight, love…God, you're so beautiful. Are you sure you wanna go?" He finished with a few pecks, some on her cheeks, some on her forehead, some on her nose. His eyes were practically black with deep lust by then and she had to make an inhuman effort just to pull away.

"Yes, I'm sure, I'll see you around," she meant to say she loved him still, that she wanted him with so much ardor she'd have to masturbate that night, but he knew that well enough already. She opened the main door slowly and walked without certainty of what she was doing.

"Go then, Love. We'll see each other some other night, I'm sure." As Buffy sagged towards the elevator, Angel stood on the door, watching her sway unstably, torn between hope and yearn.

"You are too drunk, baby. Come back here. It's not safe to go out like that, you are going to break a leg, stay here, and I'll sleep on the couch." She smiled without turning, and it took her several seconds to decide she couldn't walk a flight of stairs, let alone the long hall of the lobby, and then the four flights of stairs to her apartment door in Jersey.

"I'll stay, but no nookie. Ok?" He smiled and let her inside the room, closing the room with the 'Do not disturb' sign on it.

**Zzz**

Buffy took the shoes off and the dress too, and went to the bathroom, were she cleaned up, throwing up in the process, sobering before going to bed. The bathtub was huge, the gift basket had Kiehl's and it had many products that she had seen on departments stores, so, she took her time, bathing and washing herself thoroughly, making sure Angel would be asleep or very tired by the time she came out of the bathroom.

A true gentleman, Angel had let her keep the bed. Little did it matter, the thing could fit 5 people on it. She would scarcely noticed if Angel was sleeping there too.

When she came out, he was watching TV at the living room, looking dreamy.

Confident, Buffy went to sleep only on her panties, the Egyptian cotton sheets, bearing a dream of softness on her skin.

Angel waited until Buffy turned the light off. And went silently into the bedroom. Crawled into the bed and went soundly asleep a few inches away from her. She didn't even notice it.

That night, Angel didn't have a dream about Buffy, he awoke lonely once and spooned her through the rest of the night. The warm of her body keeping him snuggled through the night.

**zzz**

"Oh, what a nice bed!" Buffy awoke feeling extremely well, but without realizing exactly where she was; hangover had made her forget the last things about the prior evening. Angel had left the bed earlier, so as to not confuse her. She was bound to wake feeling funny.

"I gathered that much, you snored like a lion in a cage." Angel had been staring at her from the bathroom adjacent to the bed, he had kept the blinds shut down to keep the light out, and the phone disconnected, so no one could disturb him. He wanted to keep that _sleeping beauty_ in his bed as long as he could.

"Angel! … Oh my God! Tell me we didn't!" Buffy jumped out of bed, clutching the sheets to her body; she was thoroughly naked beneath it.

"I don't know. I was going to ask you about that," Buffy was frantically searching for her underwear, which Angel had smoothly removed at some point during the night. And, of course, he had placed it securely away. He meant to keep that as a souvenir.

"No way! I know when I've had sex…and I think I hadn't." she was right. She hadn't had intercourse. But, she had still been Angel's muse for the night.

"_Right_. I guess we should try to remember what _actually_ happened last night?" Buffy placed Angel's shirt on, which was the only piece of clothing available at the moment, her dress was a bit too crumpled to wear, and much to out of place. Angel came out of the bathroom with shaving foam still on his face, wet to the toes and wearing only a towel around his hips, loosely so.

"I remember," the towel seemed to dangle to a side and almost fell. But, Angel hanged onto it. Buffy's eyes traveled down his length, wondering idly why he had such bad luck on love, when he was obviously meant to do so great.

"What happened then, Buffy?" He followed her eyes; she was obviously feeling the pull between them.

"We had a date. We drank a lot of champagne, you gave me flower, and then, we came upstairs…we talked for a while, you kissed me—I meant to do it all the way with you—but, thought better of it, and then I tried to leave," Buffy reached for a glass of water from the nightstand as Angel went back into the bathroom, about to finish with the shaving.

"And then?" Buffy walked until she was standing at the threshold. A few inches from Angel, the room was heavy with moist, he had showered with really hot water recently, leaving the mirrors tainted with steam.

"I came back inside. And you kissed me again, I jumped you, and then, …we made love all night and I came three times, one of them because you went down on me," Angel didn't remember that!

"_Really_? Do you remember if we wore protection?" Buffy took a questing glance into the thrash-can and it was wistfully empty. Angel stood next to it with a sinister smirk on his face.

"No, I believe, we didn't." Angel returned to shaving then and was done with it in a few strokes, he was so smooth and clean-looking she had an impulse to jump him on the spot.

"Buffy, I don't know where did your memories come from, but, _we_ didn't make love last night. Had we done it, I would have used protection…and we _both_ would have remembered it." Buffy looked ashamed and Angel kissed her on the forehead as he walked by her, coming out of the confined place.

Their eyes crossed for a second, and Angel felt the intensity of his hunger latch at him. He hadn't made love to her, but he had slept all night next to her. No amount of cold or _hot _showers could wash away the feeling of bone-deep yearn he felt for Buffy.

"Why didn't you? You had every opportunity," she wanted to hear it had been because he would never take advantage of her, but it was probably just to protect himself.

"Are you kidding me? You were drunk, you've said no, and I've been having dirty sex with Darla for years. Neither one of us should have done something so careless. A lot of different consequences could have happened…and, I meant to take a full physical this week, make sure I am good to have sex without passing something on to somebody I really care about," he found boxers, a t-shirt, and some jeans and placed them on the bed.

"So you were planning to date again?" Buffy was so innocent some times.

"Not really, I least not 'dating' per se, just going out, you know, diners and stuff," he took a few seconds to be fully dressed, and then he was starving. It was a Sunday morning. And he was craving pancakes.

"What do you mean?" Angel went around the room, making it seem like he wasn't paying attention to the naked blonde standing by the window wearing ONLY his shirt. But, he was. He felt the jeans were getting tighter and that shower had done nothing on his libido.

"Well, I meant that I won't be around, I'll just be dating one person, now would you please get dressed," Buffy couldn't get enough of that vista. It had been years since the last time she had peace and quiet before breakfast. Patrick had always been so demanding. He had stayed the night before with Spike. Thinking she would probably be coming home very late from '_work_'.

"Shut up. You can't talk with autumn in New York coming through the window. It's the most beautiful thing," Buffy shoved the covers aside and the sunlight came in, the last days of the hot summer wilting away, the early fall blowing in with the breezy air. There were leaves on the air and the wind was blowing hard at the flags beneath them. 5th avenue was light with the traffic of a Sunday morning, people walking, commerce open for business; a guy in a leather coat was sipping his coffee as he browsed the famous shops.

"No, I told you, _you_ are the most beautiful thing. Now, would you please get dressed? You are way too tempting like this; I could find it difficult to restrain myself if you said you'd want to…" he leaned behind her smelling the sweet essence of vanilla fields, caressing her naked sides through the oversized shirt. Buffy stayed motionless, letting him nurse on her neck, as she gazed out the window, if only she hadn't kept that secret. Angel sighed, letting the sweet smell invade his nostrils, Buffy had always used to spray perfume on her hair rather than her breast; it was good to see some old habits would never change.

"You're sweet. I look terrible. Morning hair, no makeup, and hangover-ed, I can't be that tempting," his hand spawned the curve of her hip as he drew her closer to him.

"You are water to a parched man, I like you like this …it's how you really are," Buffy leaned her weigh on his chest, welcoming the warmth of his embrace.

"You mean messy Buffy?" Angel smiled, she had the cutest nose, and she was wrinkling it at the moment.

"No, you silly. It's the real Buffy, a real woman, nothing fake or plastic about you," Angel meant the exact opposite of Darla.

"Nothing fake about me, that's right." Buffy turned to the sight again, sighing as the scene faded from her mind, Angel's arms crossed above her chest, covering her shoulders under his strong arms, he wished he could've protected her that easily, but she had been very sick, and she could get sick again.

So, Angel decided he wouldn't waste another second thinking, he had too find a way to get back to her; he had to make her love him again. Both Angel and Buffy stayed there just contemplating the day blooming outside for long minutes, neither one wanting to let go; She hadn't had that feeling of quiet intimacy with anybody else ever. And they hadn't even had sex yet.

"I'm starving baby, let's go get something to eat." Angel nipped her earlobe, taking hold of her earring for a second and then releasing it; Buffy felt her heart beating fast inside her chest again, even sober, she wanted to finish what she had started the night before, she needed to tell him about Patrick.

"That would be nice." They separated without conscious thought and Buffy went to the bathroom.

"If you don't need anything else, I'll be downstairs."

"No, I'll just take a shower, and then we can go…we need to talk something really important_, as soon as possible,_" but the question remained. Where and How? That moment might be great to tell the truth. Should she tell it?

"Great, I'll be waiting downstairs, at the lobby." Buffy nodded and closed the door, bolting it. She decided she would tell him that day, after breakfast.

**zzz**

"Angelus, we where just about to buzz you down!" Wesley Windam Prize was waiting for him at the lobby; Angel had totally forgotten he was meant to go with him and Fred to Niagara Falls that day.

"Wesley! Hi, Fred! I was just about to have breakfast. Have you guys eaten?"

"Good Morning, Angel! We already ate. But, we could have some coffee, right darling?" said Fred as she walked around her husband to kiss Angel on the cheek.

"Of course, that would be great."

"Perfect, let me just make a call and I'll join you…go ahead, you pick the table," Angel walked back to lobby stand, and called to his room.

"Baby? I'm sorry I got you out the shower."

"It's ok. What is it?"

"I just remembered I was going to Niagara Falls with Wesley and Fred Today, would you like to go too?"

"I can't. I have to be at home by noon, I have an appointment."

"Some other time then. What about them? Do you want to say hello?"

"No, I don't want to discuss what we are doing at the hotel at seven am…to my cardiologist and his wife!"

"Ok, wait about half an hour and go though the parking lot, there's money on my wallet, by the nightstand, for the cab, I'll call you later."

"When can I see you again?" Angel was just about to say that.

"The weekend. I'm writing down my phone number on a note and leaving it on top of your wallet. You give me a call and we'll set a date…we still have to talk about something, and it's really important."

"I know. We'll talk then."

"Yes, we'll talk."

"Buffy, listen, before you go, I need to say something too… I had fun last night."

"I was just thinking that…I had fun too, Angel."

"I guess we'll have another date?"

"Sure, we are definitely going to have another date."

"You take care then,"

"I will… you take care too, Angel."

"Bring down the key and leave it with the manager, …and don't forget to take your medication."

"I won't."

"You hang up already." he didn't want her to. Truth is he wanted her to have breakfast with him. But, that would have been uncomfortable for her and rude with Fred and Wesley. She hung up, reluctantly, this had completely messed her plans.

But, before he left, he wrote her a message:

'_**We didn't make love last night, but, I deeply wished we had. In fact, I'll go dreaming about it, until the next time we meet. And just a tip: Don't forget your panties next time…it really is an inconvenience (or should I say convenience?). Love, Mister Hedgehog.**_

_**PS: I love the way you come …when I go down on you.'**_

He closed the envelope and left the message there. She would probably wrinkle her nose when she saw it. And that made it all the sweeter.

**zzz**

Buffy didn't read the message until she was in the cab, on the way back home. It made her laugh. She knew she hadn't forgotten her underwear, he had taken it from her, at some point during the night. And that made it _all _the_ sweeter_.

Later that day, Buffy called Willow and asked her to meet her somewhere; they had so much to talk about. Anya would meet them too. It would be a girl's brunch.

Spike had decided to take Patrick to the park, play some ball, he was at the peewee league of his school, and he always loved to practice. Buffy didn't know much about baseball, although she enjoyed watching the games, but in practice, she couldn't even throw a ball with some aim.

That made her remember for the thousand time again that she had to tell him, she had actually worked up a plan to do it over breakfast. Something like: 'remember that great night we had ten years ago? Well, guess what, I got pregnant, you have a son now.' and then, _life_ happened again, every time she tried to tell him, something would stop her. Time was running down on her, either she would tell…or somebody else will.

zzz

_End of chapter 4…_

_Review please!_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 "What hides in a dare?" 

**zzz**

**Unexpected Miracles**

Since Buffy had to buy groceries, she decided to go to the bank, spur of the moment thing. She knew trouble was waiting for her there, so she had this whole speech ready, where she would explain to them why she was actually going to pay all their money back.

"Hi! I'm Buffy Summers. My number is up," Buffy handed her ticket to the man behind the desk, while she looked for her credentials inside her purse.

"What can I do for you Mrs. Summers?" asked the bank employee.

"Here's my check book and my ID. I need to check the status of this account," the clerk went to the computer and started typing in the numbers. Buffy was expecting the man to run for his manager at any second. They always did. But surprisingly, he didn't.

"Would you like me to print the last movements, or do you just want to know how much is left?" That didn't sound right to Buffy; she hadn't done anything with her accounts in months.

"Both…I guess." The paper started coming out of the printer faster that she could read it. There were five pages of transactions spurting from the system.

"Anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Summers?" The clerk gave her the long file and her check book back. She was just dumbfounded to read the report of her activities, so much that she had to read the thing twice just to be sure of what her eyes were seeing.

"Hang on. I'm gonna need a couple of minutes to check this out. Are you sure this is my account? 'Cause this is all looking very unrealistic to me," the man reopened the system and double checked her report. He was positive.

"It is. If you would excuse me, I'll be right back. I believe you have a new credit card approved, I'm sure it's here, somewhere, you wait here while I go get it." As the man searched his files for the new Master Card Buffy had been approved, she read the report of what had happened.

She had cleared all of her debts: the mortgage, the loans, the credit cards, the insurance payment, the medical bills, etc. Everything had been cleared. She even had something like 42,000 dollars available in cash. For once the bank had screwed up things on her favor. It was too good to be true. There had to be an error.

"I'm sorry. I need to speak to your manager." The employee showed up then with the voucher and her new card.

"Sure, sign this up first. So I can close the system and leave the card active," she signed, although she had doubts about the whole the thing.

"Wendell said you wanted to talk to me. What can I don for you Mrs. Summers?" That was the manager, a stout but efficient man wearing corporate clothes and his most efficient smile.

"Well, the thing is, I believe it's been a terrible mistake. Somebody cleared all my debts, and I'm pretty sure it was a mix-up, I need you to call this whole thing off, and check your files, find out who made the mistake, so you can give them their money back." Before they send me to jail for fraud, thought Buffy.

"Oh! I—I'm positive it's not a mistake, at least not ours. If memory serves right, these transactions were all perfectly approved. Everything was in order. Whoever settled your accounts, knew exactly was he or she was doing."

"Don't you have like a record file of every transaction you make? There must be a picture, a signature, something somewhere pointing to the author of this…fraud."

"It's not a fraud at all. The money was legal. The person obviously knew you well, because he or she gained access to your files easily and even signed the release forms for you. I'm sorry, Mrs. Summers. The picture file it's not intended for this type of situation. We don't take pictures of transactions made directly with the holder of the account. I can't help you there."

"It's all legal then? No possibility of you showing up at my doorstep tomorrow with a lawsuit for fraud and illicit appropriation or anything like that, right?"

"There's none whatsoever. Please feel free to take some brochures from the stand. We'll be happy to make some more business with you. If you excuse me, I have a lot of things to do. It was a pleasure talking to you, Mrs. Summers." That was a shocker!

Buffy never expected _that_ to happen. She thought of the people who could have done it. Her mom? Not possibly. Her dad? Even less. Willow? Not unless she won the lottery and forgot to tell her best friend about it. Spike? He had a lot of debts of his own to clear. Giles? He had retired from the University that year, but, he wasn't looking at a severance bonus of that proportion. We were talking of nearly three hundred thousand dollars cash. And that was a lot of money for practically everybody she knew.

Buffy decided to use her new card to send everybody she knew some flowers. It sounded like she was never going to find out who had been her benefactor or benefactors, so, it couldn't hurt to send thanking notes to everybody, just in case it was one, or all of them.

Never, in all that time, it crossed Buffy's mind, that it could have been Angelus O'Quinn who had so unselfishly helped her. It didn't even cross her mind to send him a thanking card.

**zzz**

Niagara Falls 

"I saw Buffy Summers last week, she's in very good shape, her EKG came very normal, her white cells are low and the oxygen saturation is excellent. She's my patient here. You know?" said Wesley to Angel, as they waited for the small boat to get them as close as possible to the water fall.

"She told me you were her doctor, and that you had been taking care of her for years. That's very good for her, you are an excellent cardiologist." You are almost better than me, thought Angelus.

"It's been a pleasure; she's a very fine person. I'm very happy she finally got the transplant she needed so badly…by the way. We just heard what happened to your sister, we are both really sorry, Freddy and me, and if there's anything I can do for you, just give me a call." Wesley didn't mean he knew Buffy's heart was Faith's, he just meant that he was sorry for his loss. Although he did know the details, Buffy had actually told him the whole story behind her transplant.

"Thank you. It's been a tough couple of weeks."

"It'll get better in time…they do say time heals all wounds, don't they?"

"There you go, Angel. What were you guys talking about?" Fred had been getting corndogs and sodas for everyone. She handed one to Angel and another to Wesley.

"About a mutual patient of us: Buffy Summers. She had a heart transplant recently,"

"You know Buffy too? She's so sweet! I know Patrick, he's the cutest thing. I'm so glad she's better, it broke my heart to see her shrinking away." said Fred. Wesley gave her a dirty look over her commentary.

"I don't know him, I mean the famous Patrick; perhaps you'll introduce us. I do know Buffy, though; we went to high school together."

"I didn't know that. That's great! The world it's such a tissue, you turned it up and you find your old…well you know what I mean." Angel laughed; she meant you turned up the hankie and find your old snot …or just the other end of the thing. Either way, it was a lame joke.

"The world is just full of funny coincidences, right? Buffy hasn't actually met me either, but I know her through Wes's secretary: Cordelia Chase, are you friends with Willow and Spike too?" said Fred, continuing her line of conversation before an awkward silence could take place.

"Yes, we all went to the same school, even Cordy; she and I were never too friendly with each other, she was a couple years younger, I think she was in the same grade as Buffy. Next time Buffy is around, I'll introduce her to you…we're sort of dating."

"That's great! She's so lucky!"

"I'm gonna take that as a friendly compliment, Freddy, other wise, I'll might get very jealous of Angel." said Wesley as he hugged his wife a little closer, Angel had a reputation for stealing other man's wives.

"She means: I'm a rich doctor with no kids and no parents, right?"

"No, I mean she's lucky, because she just had a heart transplant that wasn't rejected, and now she has a guy that will take care of her, both as a man, and as a doctor, …like I do. Besides, women love white robes and scrubs…ever seen Grey's anatomy, or ER? Doctors are the hottest thing around." Wesley kissed Fred on the lips after she said that. She had been his patient once too; she had been treated for arrhythmias nearly a decade ago when Wesley was just an intern.

"I guess that's right. Except, she said Wesley was her doctor, and I was just her date." Wesley laughed at that, which sounded a lot like Buffy. Angel was a great doctor and all that, but if anything, Buffy was deeply loyal to Wesley, and if he had been able to fly to California to do the surgery, she would have preferred it that way.

"Give her time, for a shrink, she's rather dense." Said Wesley in a mockingly serious tone, Fred laughed at that. At that time, the boat stood right in front of the Niagara Falls, spraying them with mist.

"I wish your Buffy was here." said Fred dreamily, she was hopelessly romantic when it came to Wesley's friends; Freddie wanted to paint the world pink with love.

"Why?" said Angel flatly, he thought the water fall was pretty, but not particularly romantic.

"Because: it's the most romantic place in the world. It's where Wesley proposed to me, and where we had the most memorable times so far. Right, love?" even Angel could understand that hint. He should bring Buffy over and propose to her.

"Thanks for your advice, I'll ask her to come next time I see her." Fred leaned into Wesley's embrace and they stared off together as if they could see something nobody else could, Angel could tell they were very happy together.

"You do that, I'm sure she'll love it, it's a nice date…get her flowers and a nice meal by candle light and you've got her." It seemed Angel had found allies in Fred and Wes, who could've guessed it.

"What do you think, Wesley? Do you think she'll like it?" Wesley thought of what to say, he knew she had brought Patrick over with Spike many times, he never heard her say that she thought of it as romantic.

"I don't know, Angel. This worked for me, but it might not work for somebody else, I suggest you ask her, before you jump on board with this." Angel paid attention to his suggestion and considered it, it was true, Buffy wasn't everybody, she was special, and maybe she'd though of it as cheesy.

"It's still nice, thanks for bringing me here, you guys are sickly sweet but you are good friends."

"Oh we don't have any single friends! I'm sorry if we are making you feel worse, we'll be less sweet next time, I promise." Fred knew Angel had gotten divorced very recently, so it must have been painful to watch a happy couple embracing each other.

"It's not a problem, Fred. You guys give me hope…although I think you should get a room." I wasn't painful because Angel had already in mind the course of action to win back the love of his life. That month, Buffy would turn 26 so he was wondering what to do to surprise her; a b-day was always an excuse to give great presents and to win hearts over. Don't you agree?

**Zzz ****It will continue on chapter 5 part B… zzz**

**Chapter 5 part B**

It's a happy b-day, Buffy! 

**zzz**

It had been two weeks since Angel had arrived at New York, Buffy and Angel had met last Saturday before Buffy's birthday and gone to the movies for their second date; they had seen Paul Haggis' "Crash" and had Chinese food afterwards. Buffy had tried to tell Angel the truth about her son, but movies was a place with none to cero talking, so the night had come and gone.

Now they were going out to celebrate her B-day. Buffy had plans to blurt it all out that day. Angel was taking Buffy to The Rainbow Room. They would dance all night, and celebrate her 26th.

It was a week night. So Buffy was getting in trouble for not being at home. But, Patrick had eaten cake with her at lunch, and was sleeping over Anya's, where he was going to build a miniature of New York's famous 5th avenue with Xander Harris, Anya's husband, who was a building contractor. He would drive him to school the next day and make sure his building project for the science fair had the highest grade.

Willow was going out with her girlfriend Tara, as usual. Spike was going to be on night-guard at the hospital. And Buffy would have a birthday celebration on Saturday. So it seemed nothing and nobody would distract Buffy that night.

She got dressed with a single minded notion on her agenda…telling Angel the truth. The dress was black and she hadn't done a great deal of effort to look sexy. She just wanted to look natural.

At 7:05 she had called the cab, and 10 minutes later she was on her way to Manhattan, where she was going to meet Angel in his hotel. Buffy was really nervous, her heart was racing, and her tummy was filled with butterflies. It was like being fifteen years old again.

**zzz**

Buffy was wearing a lovely little black dress made of silk, bare from neck to almost her ass, a halter cut. With spaghetti stripes tied at her nape, mid calf length. Her scar didn't show but her back induced man to turn heads allover the place, she looked practically naked beneath the dress. Angel was wearing an Armani suit, looking pretty damn stylish. His Centurion card had been having fun at Barney's lately.

"You look beautiful, Buffy. I think I've never seen that dress before, is that new?" Angel took Buffy's hand softly into his, taking the opportunity to turn her around so he could enjoy the sight of that back.

"Yeah, it's my auto-present for turning twenty-six, you like it?" if his eyes were any indication he did. They had turned glossy with hunger, and it wasn't the kind that could be appeased with food.

"I do-I definitely do, lets go have dinner…I'm starving. Oh! By the way, give me a hug, party girl!" he used the excuse to paw her, her skin was so soft and supple, an invitation to his mouth, Angel thought that if he played his cards right, he could be making love to Buffy by the end of the night.

At the lobby entrance, the valet handed Angel the keys to his brand new Lincoln Navigator. It was done in sparkling maroon color, with platinum wheel sets; it was a show-off car. He had wanted to impress Buffy.

She had been impressed alright. It was a huge car. There was no way he could find a parking spot for that beast at 8pm in Manhattan. But, the inside of the car was amazing. It had DVD, plasma TV, a little fridge, navigation system, wireless internet, etc. It was just too much. Buffy wondered how much he had paid for that gas-eating Goliath. She didn't fall for that kind of thing, it seemed so presumptuous to her, it screamed: look at me, I'm rich. That wasn't a good thing to scream in Buffy's book.

**zzz**

Most of the journey they had been almost soundless, talking only about minor things, like the thoughts they had on "Crash", how they've liked the Chinese Chop Suey they ate afterwards, how terrible was the traffic at the hour, and how cold was the weather. It was nothing truly personal.

Twice Buffy tried to bring herself to just spill it out, something like: 'Guess what? We have a kid together!' but, she felt paralyzing fear each time she started to talk. She had felt like that the past couple of dates they've had. She realized she would need a large amount of alcohol to finally bring that truth out of her mouth.

When they arrived at the Rockefeller center, Angel and Buffy stopped talking altogether. They just walked, keeping a friendly distance between them and giving nervous glances to the other every few seconds. The worse was in the elevator, when they had to stand motionless next to each other, while other people talked amiably. Buffy almost unconsciously, had grabbed Angel's hand, and he had silently wrapped his fingers around her tiny give.

"We have…" Buffy started to say it, they had been left alone at the elevator and it paused in between floors for a second, seemingly stuck.

"What do we have?" Buffy locked eyes with Angel and her mouth went dry. She yearned to kiss him again, to let him pleasure her with his expert tongue, but she couldn't, her body went in the opposite direction of her mind, it said: kiss him. While her mind told her: stay away from him; Buffy had to maintain distance or she'll burn in that fire.

"So much—we have so much to talk about, you and I," Angel tightened the grasp around Buffy's fingers and pressed the penthouse button again.

"We'll be talking in a little while, baby. Don't panic. I'm sure this isn't stuck." And then it continued to go up, just like that. It didn't stop, and before she knew it, they were at the penthouse, where The Rainbow Room was.

"I just really need to tell you something important,"

"I know. You'll say it over a nice glass of Bailey's in a sec. Jesus, baby! You're a little ice cube, come here I'll warm you up." Buffy was shivering through her teeth. But, it had nothing to do with the weather.

"O'Quinn. I have reservations for 8 o'clock." Angel had tucked her under his shoulder, taking advantage of the situation to touch her naked back with stroking fingers.

"Of course you do, Mr. O'Quinn! Please walk this way." The hostess showed them to their table, overlooking the dance floor, where they would have a perfect view of both, New York, and the dancers.

"Thank you."

"What can I get you, Mr. O'Quinn?"

"A bottle of Bailey's and two glasses, please."

"No problem, I'll be right back with that, please enjoy your evening."

"We will. Thank you!" Buffy hadn't said a word in the last five minutes, rehearsing in her head what she would say.

"You ok, baby? You look distressed," Angel grabbed Buffy's wrist softly, taking her pulse. It was fine, if only a little jumpy. She was all covered in Goosebumps.

"I'm fine. I just remembered something. Excuse me. I need to go to the ladies room. I'll be right back." Buffy shoved her hand roughly away from him and stood in quick and fluid motions. She'd never been there before, so she had to ask the waitress for the location of the restrooms, taking her time before getting back to Angel.

**zzz**

'_What the hell am I doing here?! I need to tell him the truth!'_ Thought Buffy to herself, as she walked back and forward inside the ladies room, eventually she sat down at the toilet and played the ostrich strategy. '_I can't deal with this tonight. I need to do it later! Or maybe I won't do it at all. He doesn't have to know, right?'_

Buffy took her time to calm down, and decided that maybe that night wasn't the night. He had made a reservation. He had spent money on her. She shouldn't ruin his evening with that kind of terrible news. She had to wait one more day, or maybe even a week, or maybe never. That was always an open option.

"I took the liberty to order an entrée. I hope you like the brochettas. I was just craving to eat them for days." Buffy smiled, seating down gracefully. She had decided that she was going to have fun that night. And the next time Angel and she met, she would tell him about Patrick…or not.

"I love them. What are you going to order for dinner?" Angel took a long drink of his glass and started looking at the menu.

"The Mediterranean salad, with a side-dish of cured jams and maturated cheeses."

"That's very European of you! I'll have stake…with baby carrots, and mash potatoes."

"Good choice! That will actually sustain you. I love that you don't eat like a model. It's very refreshing. But red meat is bad for the heart, bad cholesterol, maybe you could have fish?"

"I'm eating for all the times Pat… I'm just eating my due share of red meat, which I haven't eaten since 1999, when Willow and Tara made 'the last barbecue' at their place…they are vegetarians now. Their waves catch me so I didn't cook much meat after that." Angel laughed. He was a regular caveman as far as food went. He had to have some kind of meat everyday.

"You poor thing! Nothing but Toffu this, soy that. I hate vegetarians! Had God wanted us to eat plants all day, he would have made us rabbits!"

"Amen!"

"You know what? I'll eat the stake too. None salad bullshit for me anymore, God is good be away from Darla!"

"Why? Was she a vegetarian too?"

"Worse! She was a model and aspiring actress. Everything was about the trendy diet: Southbeach, Macrobiotics, Scarsdale, Jenny Craig, etc. You name it, she had done it. She would have freaked if she had seen your bones right now." She would have gotten the recipe to get even more anorexic than she already was, though Angel.

"That's not very flattering, Angel! I'm trying to get back in shape. I exercise, I eat a lot. I just don't want to gain fat. I want muscle and sexy curves too. …So, I _will_ take my time."

"I'd love to give you a hand with the molding of those _sexy curves,_" Angel had watched Buffy like food to a starving man, undressing her with his eyes.

"Yeah. Of course you would! Why don't you just order?" Buffy had felt a surge of warmth go to her cheeks, Angel's pants had risen in a foretelling manner, right beside her; she had seen it unintentionally, practically feeling the same rush herself.

"I'm always at your service madam." Angel called the waitress and explained her about their order. She had said it would be done in 20 minutes. In which Angel and Buffy had proceeded to drink their share of the liquor, the small talk had died in an awkward place, Angel was insinuating, and Buffy was stopping his advances.

**zzz**

"I got to tell you…your car it's impressive. Why such a big, luxurious suv though?"

"I was looking to upgrade my cool factor. I thought the car was a chick magnet. The sales guy told me so. Don't you like it?"

"Not particularly. It will be hell to park. But, I got to give you points for the inside. It's definitely good for a road-trip. I wish I'd had one of those when Pa…when the long freeway became boring and predictable. Really, how many times can you get excited about a cow, or a horse, or a pig?" Once again Buffy had to bite her tongue, and pray Angel hadn't heard her unconscious slips. Those little shots of Baileys seemed to be going straight into her head. No wonder the British called it the silent menace, you didn't know you were drunk until way too late.

"Not many! I actually wanted to get a Jaguar, but the ones they had here, were all convertibles, I swore I would never go through that hell again. Can you imagine a stuck down cape with the rainy season in California? Well I'll tell you. I took cabs back and forward for nearly a month! The service for Jaguars is a small dimension of tortures in Beverly Hills," Buffy laughed to that.

"At least you've got plenty of money to work out the issue,"

"It's not really the point. But, it's true. So, what do _you_ drive?"

"A small Ford Escort. Two doors. Four people max. I only fill the tank once a week. So it's a blessing, although the stick driving gets really daunting with the traffic. But, at least I can park it in a spot the same size of a large bike."

"That's good for you, darling. I had a Mini Cooper back in LA, I drove it like a madman. Those buggies run like the wind, and they give you no trouble with hospital parking lots. I miss it. But, what the hell! I'm near thirty years old, I need to star considering settling down."

"About that."

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you like getting a divorce?"

"Exactly. I screwed up my first marriage. Now I get to say the first one was a trial for errors, and the next one it's the lasting one,"

"So you are already thinking about a next one?"

"Of course. That's why I bought the car. I needed to impress somebody…lulled her into marrying me,"

"Really? And do I know this somebody?"

"Not really—Question time: if you could have any car in the world, no money or gas issues whatsoever, what would you have?" That had been a quick change of subject, Buffy wondered if he had meant her, or actually somebody else, Angel could still be so unpredictable sometimes.

"Are you kidding me? I would have a Mercedes Benz. Preferably an SLR, or something stylish like that. But, only if I lived somewhere outside New York, a country house, where I could really drive it," Angel was paying attention to her every word.

"How would this dream country house of yours be?"

"Well, I guess…on the mountain side would be great, with lots of trees around it, A couple of golden retrievers running around, a bird house with lots of humming birds, and woodpeckers, and thrushes; a huge rose garden too, maybe even a lake. I'd love to live nearby the lake, rushing water is so soothing."

"You don't see any kids running around?"

"I don't know, maybe one. God only knows what's gonna happen to me in the future,"

"A lot of good things I bet…you still cold? Want me to get your coat?"

"No, it's ok. I'll just have so more liquor." Buffy had been rubbing her arms mindlessly, remembering the fantasies she had kept while Patrick was a little baby.

"Be careful with that. I don't want to carry you out of here…ok maybe I do, but, it isn't exactly my primary intention,"

"Don't worry. I'll stop when my head starts spinning."

"Ok, let me know when that happens."

"Food's here!"

"Great, let's eat like lions!"

**zzz It will continue on chapter 5 part C zzz**

**Chapter 5 part C**

**The Dare**

**zzz**

"Ok, now we are going to play a game. I got you something." Angel told the waitress to bring the stuff he had left there earlier. The food had been great. And now the band was taking a break, later they would play great music again. And Angel had a little surprise prepared for Buffy.

"Oh, gifts!" three bags arrived.

"Here's the deal…" each one of them had a card.

"Let's start already, I love presents!"

"You got 3 choices of gifts…I couldn't make up my mind, so, I worked this up for a change. Inside this cup, I'm placing the choice I imagined you are going to make…here's the tricky part: If I get it right, you grant me a little wish …if I don't, you get all 3 gifts."

"These gifts better be good."

"They are, try one."

Buffy pulled the something to hold card. It was a pink Hermes Birkin bag, so amazing several of the waitress had stopped to ogle it. Buffy had smelled it, fingered it, and tried it on her arm. It was a baby, one couldn't say no to that piece of French craftsmanship art.

"Oh! You definitely have great taste. This bag is so pretty; my eyes hurt just looking at it…mhm and the smell. That's genuine leather. Are you sure you are not gay?" Angel laughed to that but then he pushed forward the next bag, the game wasn't over yet.

Then came the something to use card. It was a Motorola V3 also called the razor, because it was really thin and stylish. Buffy had opened the box and smiled broadly. It was the rose one. So goddamn cute it hurt to look at it. She took a picture of Angel with the camera, and tried one of the MP3 tunes it had on it. It was amazing.

Buffy didn't say anything to that one, but she thought he was surreptitiously trying to get her to talk to him more often.

And then came the something to wear card. It was a Geneva Platinum wristwatch with sapphires incrusted at the sphere and tiny gold numbers in the inside. It was the kind of thing a Hollywood star would wear, so luxurious it screamed money out loud. Buffy got blinded with all that bling.

"Oh, my God! Where did you get this idea? These things are amazing!"

"Well, the Birkin bag came from the Gilmore Girls. I love that show. The phone because the company was giving the second one to me for free, I have the black one. I just had to subscribe it to my credit card and presto. And the watch was a spur of the moment thing. I was shopping…for a watch myself, and I thought you'd like it." He had been shopping for an engagement ring. But, thought better of saying anything about it.

"That's very sweet of you… I really don't know what to pick, I like them all!"

"You are a greedy woman, just play the game. Choose only one."

"Give me a minute…so you were saying you liked the Gilmore Girls?"

"I love'em. I think Emily it's great, a bit passive-aggressive, but, she does have great taste."

"What about Rory and Lorelai?"

"Lore should have snagged Christopher when Rory was a kid; their relationship now has too much water under the bridge. But, then again, she loves Luke…and he's been there with them all the time."

"I actually liked Max. He was a match for her tongue! That woman talks something like a hundred words per second. But, Luke is cool; he really, really, loves her. Remember how he kept that ticket on his wallet for years? And how when they kiss it feels like you're watching a Humphrey Bogart movie, they're just eye candy."

"Remember the game we were playing, _Buffy_? Pick one gift already!"

"Ok. I choose … the bag!" He knew it. The cell phone would cost her money to maintain in the future. The watch was too ostentatious for her. But, the bag …she was a New Yorker, she couldn't say no a Birkin bag!

Buffy opened the paper. And there it was. It said: 'The Hermes Pink Birkin bag'

"You! You trickster! You knew I'd pick that! Why?"

"It's the most expensive of the lot. It's the first one you saw. And it's the only thing even Rory Gilmore couldn't say no to."

"What's your wish then, Mister Trickster?" Angel Leaned in and whispered his wish into her ears.

"I want: _One night with you, in my hotel room, no excuses, no reservations, no condoms and… no limits._" Angel had gotten the result of his tests that week; he was as healthy as an Irish lad, there was nothing wrong with him. For once, Darla had been responsible and kept herself clean, at least in the sex department.

"Isn't that too much to ask?" Buffy had blushed into a new shade of crimson. That was quite an indecent proposal, but…she felt really drawn into it. He was magnificent. And she hadn't had anything to do with a guy in five years, since her last boyfriend Riley Finn had taken her to his place.

In fact, Buffy was afraid she had become a virgin again!

"Not really. It's only one night of your life…and I'm sure you'll enjoy it too…do it for old time sakes, called it an affair to remember."

"Aren't you a presumptuous playboy? I'll do it …if I get to keep _all _the gifts."

"So it's a negotiation then?"

"It's all or nothing, O'Quinn."

"You've got yourself a Deal!"

"Oh my God, I can't believe you just made me an indecent proposal!" Buffy took a shot of Bailey's to steady her heart.

"Oh, I knew you'd said yes, I just needed some additional _inducement._" Angel felt as reeled-up as her. He had fantasized about making love to Buffy ever since he had arrived at NY, masturbating while he thought of her everyday, wondering how he could have so much pent-up lust for this tiny woman he hadn't seen in years.

"You are a smug bastard! What an ego you have! What if I've said no?"

"Then I would have had to use more conventional methods."

"Such as?"

"Why don't you come to the balcony with me, and I'll show you."

"How naïve do you think I am?"

"Oh! I just wanted to show you the view!"

"Right. What's that got to do with sex?"

"I wasn't talking about sex. Were you?"

"No, not at all. I was taking about…"

"I feel like I've forgotten how to do it …Darla never liked it much, so I feel I'm really bad."

"So you where really talking about sex?"

"Maybe, one never knows what's actually going on in other people's head…why? Were you thinking about having sex with me?"

"Of course not! You should start dating again, try your luck out, I'm sure there's plenty of women out there looking for someone like you."

"I'm too suspicious now, and I'm pretty sure I _suck_ in bed."

"I'm sure you… don't."

"Care to make an experiment with me?"

"Sure, as long it's appropriate."

"Come here, I want to show you something." Buffy was wary, what could he have to show her that she hadn't seen already?

He led her to the dance floor, and the band started playing Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" Angel escorted Buffy to the middle and seized her gently by the waist, fastening his body to hers. He placed her cold hands on his chest and started waltzing, leading her through the dance floor with very little effort.

_Unforgettable, that's who you are … that's why darling; it's incredible, that someone, so unforgettable, would think I am, unforgettable too…_

Buffy raised her face to gaze into Angel's eyes; he had the sexiest chocolate eyes she had ever seen.

"I didn't remember how much of a good dancer you are…mister hedgehog." Angel gazed back into her eyes, caught-up in the kaleidoscope of greens and browns.

"I didn't remember how lithe and enchanting _you_ are…_my love._" Angel lowered his mouth and leaned in, kissing Buffy softly on the lips, taking his time to savor the texture and sweetness of her flesh, the wet caress of her tongue, and the tenderness of her embrace. He had never forgotten how glorious it felt to hold her.

If possible, Angel held Buffy closer to him after the kiss, slowing his motions until his knee grazed her tight with every move, their bodies pressed together, his head bent towards her head, buried in her hair, enjoying the vanilla essence of her locks and the silky softness of her back.

Buffy closed her eyes, and concentrated on the overwhelming closeness of the man she loved the most in the world. He smelled masculine, but, intoxicatingly sexy, like wood and whisky and lavender, and him, all together. And Buffy leaned into him, letting her head rest on his chest, feeling secure and sheltered inside his arms.

They turned about several times on the melody, but, then the band played a Brazilian _samba _and Buffy was forced to move her body very sexily to the hot, quick, Latin rhythm. At some point, the other couples started tiring and they were left almost alone at the dance floor.

After several songs Buffy got tired and went to the restroom. Angel followed her solicitously. He was sweating; the suit was cooking him up. So he took the jacket of and stayed waiting for Buffy to come back out of the ladies room.

"You ok, baby? You look all flushed and shaky."

"I'm fine, just…a little drunk." Buffy and Angel had been drinking Bailey's (Irish cream) through the night, after the second bottle, she was dizzy and rosy from head to toe.

"I knew you would, you should pee, and then drink lots of club soda…for a tiny little thing; you sure can drink!" Buffy leaned in the wall beside the door and rested her head against the cold tiles. The room was spinning around her.

"I just peed. I'm going to rest my head here a little while…stop the world from revolving."

"Ok, baby, I'll stay right here next to you." There was no way Angel would have gone anywhere else. Buffy was sweating, breathing harsh, humming a sultry tune softly under her breath, and swaying her body against the wall like a video vixen. Angel was so hard staring at her that he actually thought of fucking her on the spot.

He didn't, but he did kiss her, long and hard, making her feel his striking arousal against her silky dress.

"Oh Angel…We can't do this." That long, hard penis sobered Buffy up alright. She opened her eyes and pushed Angel away weakly, they were in public, and she had to go home, stop the madness before it got out of hands.

"Anywhere you want, sweetie." But, she hardly could, her head was spinning, the wetness of her panties enough to make her uncomfortable. She was dying to have him inside her. All big and hard, like Angel was, and he had continued nipping at her neck, sucking her sensitive jugular spot with his voracious lips. Making her clench her insides and moan his name under her breath. Oh, she desired him painfully!

"Stop please… oh God you're so good!" Angel was grabbing Buffy's ass and lifting her to accommodate him, while he nibbled at her earlobes. His erection was cradled above her sex, making Buffy more receptive to his caresses.

"You don't want me stop." said Angel, when her cunt clenched with unsatisfied lust, making her grind her body against his. Somebody coughed by them and Buffy stopped altogether, pushing Angel away from her.

She had been about to almost have sex with Angel on a dark hallway. He started pushing away from her and as soon as he realized that she had changed her mind, he released her, letting her fall tenderly to the floor, smoothing her dress down.

"Yes I do. We have to stop this before it gets out of our hands." Buffy and Angel stopped their foreplay painfully, and stood a good five feet from each other, both unsure of what to do next.

"I understand, let's go back to the table then." Buffy walked ahead, taking small steps, conscious of her disheveled looks and altered state.

Angel had walked behind her, with the biggest turn-on he could remember having since he was thirteen years old and got his first erection. He had burned inside-out wanting to have her in that precise moment. But the night wasn't over yet…there was still some time left to convince her.

**Zzz**

After a few club sodas and some coffee, Angel and Buffy went downstairs, ready to leave the club. They were both awake by then, and sober enough to walk on their own feet normally.

"What about that wish then?" said Angel; he didn't want to see her go home without him.

"Does it have to be tonight?" said Buffy, whishing it badly, but, keeping some of that famous female reservations.

"Not if you don't want it to." and then folk say: _'Men proposes, women disposes_'

"Could it be some other night then?"

"That's fine, baby. Listen, don't forget your gifts, I'll see you soon, right?" Angel handed Buffy the three bags.

"Of course. Goodnight, Angel." Politely so, Angel kissed Buffy on the cheek, tasting her salty skin and cursing himself for not being convincing enough. He was all tied up in knots and he knew he would not get any sleep that night, he would just remember how close he came to heaven.

"Night, Buffy." Angel searched his pockets for his car keys and when he found them, he started walking away from Buffy.

She had taken one last look at him and sighed, he was the most sexy, handsome, desirable, deliriously eatable, rich man in the world. He was her mc chocolate. He had bought her sweet, thoughtful and exclusive gifts. He had kissed her like she was a Brazilian supermodel. He had made her painfully horny! Then why the hell was she letting him go away?

When Angel was at the door of his Lincoln Navigator Buffy said:

"Wait." _Just one night_, thought Buffy. What harm could come from that?

"Yes, baby?" He looked at her and literal thunder stroke between them. Buffy took her shoes off and ran, with her shoes in one hand and the bags in the other.

"I changed my mind! I need you so much, Angel!" She ran the ten feet separating them; jumped him on the spot and wrapped her legs around his waist. He caught her right on time, and kissed her like he hadn't kissed her in years.

"God! I need you too, baby!" Thunder stroke again and it started raining, it had been cloudy the whole day. They never stopped kissing. Rain made no difference to them. Hot and wet, as they both were.

It had been such a deja-vu. Without thinking much Angel found himself pulling Buffy's panties out of the way as she was unbuckling his pants down, it was very dark in the middle of the parking lot.

"Let's go someplace else; I want my wish fulfilled in a bed, not here..."

"Ok…let's go to your hotel room."

End of chapter 5… 

Zzz

**Ok, so this was a long post 3 chapters one after the other, if you got this far, you know what I want… review!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

_As requested by Ann, this is what you haven't read, keep in mind that's strictly forbidden, to post MA, if I get banned you will have to seek me out at the sinful archive, since it is the only other site where I'm archived at._

_This is nc17 and it isn't a chapter, it's the prologue plus the lines that were stolen where chapter 5, so enjoy!_

_And I beg that you read and review soon!_

_**zzz**_

_Prologue _

"_Oh, baby! You're killing me!" She kneeled in front of him, taking her time to open the belt buckle with maddening slowness. To say he was anxious was an understatement. His dick had been straining against his boxers all night long, jumping whenever she said something naughty or kissed him too intensely._

"_You want me to do this?" She probably had lots of doubt but she wasn't letting that stop her._

"_Only if you want to." And she did. She took his cock in her small hands, gripping it as best as she could and then slowly stroked him up and down._

_He was panting heavily waiting for her to use her mouth. He couldn't resist pushing his hips closer to her face, silently begging to be entrenched in her hot mouth. She didn't make him wait long as she captured his head and teased it with her tongue, swirling around it like an ice-cream cone. Watching her was hot, so hot that he knew he was experiencing one of the most erotic blowjobs, he also knew that he would never view ice cream the same way again. _

_She continued her torture; blowing slow puffs around his downy hair and then cupping his testicles with those small, capable hands, teasing and tormenting him until he couldn't control himself and he thrust forward into her mouth. Not caring about her protests, he came hard, shooting his seed down her throat. She swallowed it down with a few gulps and then licked him clean, unaware of the rareness of her gesture._

_She stood up then and kissed him on the mouth, giving him his taste back. The moment was so intense; so intimate, that he quickly got hard again, and that black Victoria's Secret outfit had a lot to do with it._

"_Time to return the favor, baby", she heaved a sigh, sounding nervous. But he knew she was excited, it was in the way her pulse throbbed at the base of her throat, it was the way her perfect breasts rose and fell with eagerness, it was in the needy trembling of her body, and those beautiful green orbs so full of emotion and passion that stared up at him so trustingly._

_His response to her reactions was pure unadulterated lust and there was no way that she didn't feel it too, the electricity that burned between them. _

_He kissed her then, mouth, ears, cheeks, neck, collarbone and breasts, all mindlessly until he reached her scar. He stared at it for only a few seconds, his heart aching for all that she had already been through, before he ripped the lace bra open and bent down to enjoy his bounty. He sucked the puckered flesh like ambrosia, following it down to her navel, where he stayed nibbling and sucking until she moaned with involuntary ecstasy. All that creamy, satin-like flesh pressed against him in a fiery embrace fueling his fire._

"_That feels so good" she took her panties off and he sat up staring at her. She looked so sexy completely naked except for those silky sheer black stockings that covered her legs. He gulped, desperately trying to retain some sort of control and not just dive right in; he didn't want to scare her._

"_You like it?" She asked and he gulped again as his eyes were drawn down to the apex of her thighs. His mouth fell wide open as he stared in shock at her smooth hairless skin. She had shaved and was as naked down there as the day she was born. _

"_I love it." He hoarsely said as his eyes wandered down to her core that was glistening eagerly awaiting his attention. Looking up into her dark heavy-lidded eyes, he knew that she wanted him to taste her._

_She stood with her legs slightly closed, apprehensive of what she was doing. He lowered her to the bed and laid her on the flower petals, committing that vision of lust to his mind as he spread her legs. He soaked in her naked flesh that was dark pink and soft like her nipples, wet like her mouth, encased in hairless skin, protected only by the angle of her trembling thighs. _

"_Just relax, baby. You're gonna like this." _

_He opened her toned legs with gentle hands, kissing the inside of her thighs, keeping his eyes on her face. She was watching him uncertain of her own body and frowning at his unfamiliar assault._

"_Do you mind? T-the smell I mean?" she stuttered. He couldn't help but chuckle at her innocence, it thrilled him to know that he was the first to see and taste this sacred spot and he was even more determined to give her the most mind-blowing pleasure she ever experienced before and ever would again._

_Leaning in, he breathed in deeply, a pure smile of satisfaction on his face when her scent hit his nostrils. He loved it and he wanted her to know. "It's perfect baby, so earthly and heady, so…personal. It's your true essence Buffy. I love it." She smiled at him slightly, blushing with his erotic words. Words meant to relax her, words meant to drive her crazy with lust so all she could think about was him. "Close your eyes, baby. I swear it won't hurt." _

_She closed her eyes and his hands gently massaged her legs, smiling with the visible relaxation of her muscles. _

_Unable to wait anymore he tasted her. She was salty, like sweat and tangy like apple juice, and all he wanted was to drink down her nectar. He nuzzled against her clit, feeling her raise her buttocks off the bed, pushing his face closer to her core._

_He listened to her body and gave her his undivided attention, making sure that his mouth; tongue and teeth were in the same rhythm, going deep into untouched wet folds, inserting fingers, tracing circles around her bundle of nerves. Feeling quite pleased with himself as she moaned loudly on the bed, and her hands dug a death grip in his hair._

_He became ravenous as he buried his face in her flesh, sucking on her clit until she screamed. He moaned gutturally feeling her uncontrollable contractions around his fingers, her wet heat, gripping, enveloping, expelling, and clenching at the same time. It was torture and his cock felt like it was going to explode._

"_I need to be inside you…please, Buffy, let me in." He pleaded as his head rested against her thigh, watching the way her flesh trembled with her release._

_She pulled him up and kissed him like she never had before, introducing her tongue into the deep recesses of his mouth, melding her body to him. Crushing her breasts against his chest, her movements were erratic and desperate with a hint of fear._

"_Ok, but go slow, I'm really scared; you're so…big and…" With the impatience of a randy teenager he didn't wait for her to finish. He grabbed his cock and positioned it at her entrance then thrust forward in one shot, penetrating the offensive membrane that blocked his way to paradise._

_She gasped; her eyes grew large with unease as she gritted her teeth and writhed as the pain of delicate flesh being torn apart by his violent intrusion hit her. She was so tight and so hot, and he was very big. He stopped and looked at her, making sure that she was okay. Her hand rose and caressed his cheek as she smiled at him and nodded her head._

"_Don't worry, Buffy. I'll give you everything you need." Slowly he started to move. He had every intention of talking it slow, letting the pleasure build up. But he couldn't hold back and he found himself slamming inside of her, up and down, back and forth, as she clung to him moaning loudly in his ear with the pleasure that filled her body. Feeling his balls tighten with each deep thrust, he knew this divine moment wasn't going to last long._

"_I love you, Angel." They looked at each other deeply, each knowing that they were making love and not just having sex._

"_I know. You can't imagine how much I love you, Buffy." He kissed her forehead and slammed against her pelvic bone, mindlessly ramming into her._

"_Don't forget this night. Please." She raked her nails across his back giving him some of her pain. But to him it wasn't pain, it was pure pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his hips, digging her heals into his ass. Urging him to cum for her, to cum inside of her._

_So attuned to each other and their mutual pleasure they were unconscious of time and space, it was only the two of them. Sweat ran down his face, grazing drops on her chest. She was trembling, flushed from head to toe, eyes fiercely closed, face turned aside, nails digging into his biceps, and hips raised high for profound penetration, thighs engulfing him like a glove. Not wanting to crush her with his weight, his arms became pained with strain, until he felt her shake with the beginnings of her climax. _

"_I will remember this night for the rest of my life." They screamed in unison as their explosive orgasms hit them almost at the same time. His hot seed coated her inner walls as her wild convulsing squeezed him dry._

_When the pleasure ebbed away he clung to her, feeling her beloved heart beating rapidly._

_He awoke next to Darla, drenched in sweat, heart thumping out of his chest._

_He had cum remembering Buffy in his arms. Her sweet smell buried in his nostrils, the softness or her skin etched in his flesh. He could have sworn he made love to her that night, in that very same bed. So slow and gentle, as the first…and only time, they ever had._

_That night was so clear in his mind, like it was only yesterday._

_He remembered how he had read books, watched movies, and asked questions to older more experienced friends about the art of pleasing a woman. Finding out the right way to kiss her; the motion most pleasing to 'go down on her', how to ask her to return the favor without sounding raunchy, how to know if she'd had an orgasm, and how to recognize satisfaction…when it was imminent. All in preparation of introducing her to the art of love making._

_And the best advice he'd gotten was '__ask her what she likes and if you are the right guy she'll tell you. Otherwise, just give it up. Some women are too shy the first time to open up. She'll do it, if she's truly in love, but only if she really trusts you__.'_

_She trusted him, he was positive of that. But wanting him was a completely different matter. But he had pushed that doubt aside too, he was sure she wanted him. Besides the fact that she'd said so, it was also in her eyes and the way they would warmly wander down his frame when she thought he wasn't looking. _

_He had been so excited that night and nervous he wanted everything to be perfect. So he rented the best hotel room he could afford, the Presidential Suite at the Regent's Beverly Wiltshire, he filled the bed with rose petals, ordered champagne, and lighted a few vanilla scented candles. In a nutshell he was prepared._

_God she had been so beautiful in her black and red evening dress and the peek-a-boo dark corset hiding under the satin of her dress. The whole outfit was completed with the garter belt, mid-thigh stockings and the four inch black stilettos. There was no other word to describe her but as breathtaking._

_Of course she had been full of doubt at first. Unsure of what would bring her pleasure, scared of the pain, anxious of the outcome of her first time. But he took his time, letting her explore him, with and without clothes. Kissing him everywhere she desired to kiss. Touching everyplace she yearned to touch. He trembled when she got lower, around his navel, but managed to stay still as he had promised._

_He shook himself free of the scintillating memories and turned to look at his wife._

_He thought of waking her up and making love to her, but no amount of coercion could awake Darla from her sleep. And honestly he didn't want her anyway. She could not compare to the blonde sweetness of the women he had been dreaming about. _

_Ghosts lingering to close to his unsatisfied bed, he rose weary from the vivid dream and his lack of sleep. He wandered up and down the hallways of his home with closed eyes, haunted by the memories of a night of passion buried away for so long._

_The soft turgid flesh of her breast. _

_The warmness of her tight virginal core._

_The sweetness of her ragged moans._

_The bitterness of her tears._

_That all-emotional face, drawn in sorrow, saying goodbye to him._

_And finally the empty nights filled with the hollowness of Darla's embrace._

_Weary of the line of his thoughts he pushed away all the memories and tried to get back to sleep. He took a bath, drank some warm milk. Counted sheep even but it all seemed to bring Buffy back to his mind._

_Eventually the clock alarm rang and he roused again. This time, with the firm purpose of checking out what had happened to her and how her life had turned out. He was too curious with those poignant 'what ifs' that people said when regrets filled their heart, to let it go…let her go._

_Because he honestly could say that he had never really forgotten that night…or her._

_That night he possessed the love of his life…and his former best friend._

_**Stolen lines:**_

_**California, 1996**_

_**Same day Buffy and Angel made love for the first time**_

"_You look beautiful" What else could he say? She did look amazing; the long black dress, the tight peek-a-boo bodice, the sultry makeup, the stunning jewelry and the sparkling hair._

_"Thanks. It's spring prom. I had to look my best." Angel was wearing a nice tux, with navy blue striping. He handed her the corsage, adorned with Orchids._

_"Everything alright? You sound down, Baby." She gazed at it and smiled, it was a pretty gesture._

_"Nothing. It's Just mom and dad, going at it as usual. I wanted them to take a second to stop arguing, and look at me. I did work to be pretty tonight…what the hell! They're never going to change. Thanks for the flowers. Shall we go now?" Buffy looped her arm through Angel's._

_"Absolutely…Goodbye Mister Summers!" Hank had been standing at the window, waiting for Buffy to leave with Angel. He gestured them goodbye and closed the window, the argument with Joyce taking heat again._

_"I hope Dawn has the Nirvana cd blasting already. Poor thing, they drilled her because she got a D on geometry. She's just a baby." Angel had been thinking of Buffy's sister as they left the house. But, that night wasn't for big talks; that night was meant for loving._

_"Don't worry, she'll get better grades next times. I'll help her. You should help her too, you're good with numbers." Buffy laughed, as Angel opened the door to his metallic blue Ashton Martin._

_"It's not that! She did it on purpose. They never pay attention to her when she gets good grades. It's the bad one the holler about. Dawn hasn't understood the finer points of parental guidance yet." Angel could sympathize, for most of his elementary school he had been on the lower half on the class, as far as grades went. But, when Buffy arrived he meant to strive for more, he wanted her attention. And he got it. They had always studied together ever since, getting straight A's from that point on._

_"Have you talked to her about it? Does she know she'll never get the attention she needs like that?" Buffy shrugged._

_"I told her that, more or less. But, she's 9. It's not like she knows psychology. I can tell her what to do…she already hates me without much talking, imaging me getting one-on-one with her…that just wouldn't make sense."_

_"But, she's your baby sister,"_

_"That's the thing Angel, emphasis on the baby part, I'm not her mom, I can't be lecturing her. Especially when mom makes so much of a difference of treatment between us already,"_

_"What do you mean?" Buffy pushed the corset a bit down, so, the scar would show._

_" 'Your sister's weak, don't argue with her' 'Buffy has to stay calm, stop bothering her' 'Buffy can't go with you to science fair, she just had a valve replacement' 'your sister is a sick little thing, don't get close to her with that flu' 'your sister it's not like you'" Buffy was mimicking her mothers usual speech._

_"Oh! Like that then, I guess I would have hated you too, if I didn't know better."_

_"Exactly. Let's just stop talking about 'Dawn the dwarf', ok?" Angel stopped in front of a light and Buffy leaned in to kiss him._

_"You taste like strawberries."_

_"It's the lipstick…where are we going?"_

_"To 'El mirador' it had the nicest view of LA."_

_"That sounds very romantic."_

_"It is."_

_zzz_

_"I love you, Buffy," there was no point in saying anything else. He had her lying down beside him on the blanket he'd brought over. "I want us to be together forever."_

_"I love you too…this is nice, a bit cold, but, nice…come closer." Angel rose and kneeled in front of her, pulling a box from his pocket._

_"I picked this place, because it had the nicest view, and, because I wanted to do it outdoors, in case you had to scream."_

_"Angel! What the hell are you talking about! I will not have sex with you here!" Angel took Buffy's left hand between his, and looked up, searching her eyes._

_"I've known you my whole life, I know it's you…I love you…I want to marry you. Would you marry me?" Buffy coughed and her eyes went huge as sparkling stars. She couldn't believe he was proposing to her! She was only 15 years old; and he 18, soon to be 19._

_"Angel! I'm fifteen years old! I can't marry you; I'm not even out of high school."_

_"I don't mean now, in a few years, when you are old enough…when I'm old enough."_

_"Then why are you asking me now!"_

_"Because! I mean to have you tonight, and many nights after that, and, it doesn't feel right, to do it without giving you something first…this." Angel extracted a box from his pocket and opened in front of Buffy's face, it contained a blue diamond ring; while he waited for Buffy to inspect the ring he closed his eyes, expecting the worse. _

_"Oh my god! It's beautiful…why? Why are you giving me this?" Buffy's eyes shined with unshed tears as she watched the silver thing closely; she sat up and placed both her hands around Angel's, covering the ring between them._

_"Because! I love you; I want you to know that I'm serious about you. I want you to know… that I mean to stay with you for the rest of my life…if you want me to." Buffy did cried then, wrapping her arms about Angel's head._

_"Of course I want to!" The air was chilly, and Angel felt Goosebumps about his arms._

_"Put it on then." Buffy pushed him away from her and made him stood up against her, keeping the ring on the palm of her hand._

_"But, I can't do this. I've seen this; it was your mother's engagement ring. I can't take this! I see that you are serious. I'm serious too. Believe me. I'm damn serious about you. I love you, you don't need to prove me anything." He took her hand and slid the ring dawn on her engagement finger. It fit perfectly on her._

_"Yes I do, you are going to be my wife one day Buffy Anne Summers, I swear it to every single God out there! I swear it to you here and now."_

_"Doesn't matter if I die tomorrow?"_

_"No! It doesn't. You'll be buried with this, and everyone will know you were mine… and that I love you more than anything else in the world."_

_"Angel, please!"_

_"Don't plead. This is how it is…Buffy: you and me together for the rest of our lives." He wrapped his arms around Buffy, snuggling her inside his coat, burying his face on her neck._

_"Are you sure? I can't bear it if you're not. Don't tell me this, if you mean to break my heart later," he hugged her more tightly feeling her bones yield to his embrace._

_"Never, I would rather die than see you in pain. I'll never hurt you, I swear it." Their eyes met for an everlasting second and their bodies drew together in exquisite slowness, making the journey as blind people, finding the sweetest spots on each other's heavy silence; A book of unsaid words shimmering between them._

_"I believe you, Angel. Kiss me now please." He did so, taking his time to feel the texture and tenor of her lips, growing hungry with each breath._

_"Tonight, then." He pulled apart with grim determination; the cruel waiting would harden his glory._

_"After the party." Buffy sighed, caught between trembling and running; frightened, amused and aroused at the same time; her stomach tying itself in knots, her mind envisioning the short coming future with joy and dread simultaneously._

_"Come now, baby. They are all waiting for us." Buffy and Angel walked together to the car, hands entwined, with their hearts full of anticipation._

_zzz_

_**Afterwards and not yet the end…**_

_**(Right after the prologue) **_

_"It's different from what I imagined," Buffy kept her arms around Angel's naked chest, feeling secure beside him, laying together on the hotel bed they had just shared minutes ago._

_"Different good or different bad?" Angel kissed her temple, feeling the pangs of arousal coming to him again. Buffy was gazing tenderly at her ring. She loved it. It was a silver claddagh ring with a blue diamond, shaped like a heart in the middle, an heirloom._

_"Good! Very good…oh, don't tell me you want to do it again! I'm kinda…sore," his dick was straining the sheet up. Buffy had made him feel more than reasonably aroused._

_"Maybe… you don't want to?" Buffy snorted as she toyed with Angel's navel._

_"Of course I do! No condom please, I know we shouldn't, it's bad, it's stupid, it's careless and everything, but it burns so badly, I'm sure I'm allergic, I trust you, do you trust me too?" Angel nodded as he pushed her on top him, her legs astride._

_"You are the only one I would do this with, of course I trust you." He used his hands to caress her breast, she immediately yielded, becoming hollow and malleable, her whole body on fire._

_"Would you go down on me again?" Angel smirked and pushed her up, grabbing her ass between his hands._

_"Greedy little thing. Let's do it this way." He pushed her up until her sex was above his mouth, then his tongue went deeply into her folds, tasting her honey mingle with the coppery taste of innocent blood. He went straight to the clit and made the circular motions he knew would make her come hard and fast, delighted in the little strangled moans Buffy was delivering._

_"Oh my God!" Buffy trembled and her knees buckled when Angel sucked her sensitive little clit inside his mouth. She came as he used his fingers to stroke her inner lips. _

_Angel held onto her for long minutes until her body rocketed and her orgasm rode out of her. Then he turned her down and positioned his body on top of her. He knew she was tender all over. So he would be careful this time._

_"You can call me My Angel, but my God is fine too," she gasped as he penetrated her again, the silky walls stretching unbearably. She was wet and slick with honey, but he was still big enough to make her pant with the rare intrusion._

_"Oh!" Angel placed Buffy's legs around his back, making her dig her heels on his ass. She writhed and moved like an eel, trying to ease the position into comfort, raising her hips to fit him easier into her. He moaned deeply as he felt encased to the hilt, her body making a haven of wet heat for his manhood._

_"There, move with me, show me how you want it." She finally found the rhythm older than time, swinging her hips up and down, grinding her clit against the bones of his pelvis, slowly, making smacking sounds with each deep penetration. _

_"Say something, Angel." He sighed, wetness from sweat running down his brow, he was trying hard not to come. Her body was an inferno of wet heat, twisting and clenching beneath him._

_"I love you!" He couldn't restrain that hot spur any more, so he came hard, with a shout of glory and ecstasy accompanying the seed he was sending into her._

_"I love you too." Buffy closed her eyes as he relaxed on top her, her body feeling numb and weak, as if she had over exercised, the friction around their joint point unbearable, she had climaxed one too many times that night, her body begging for sleep._

_"Heavens. You are the most beautiful, sexy, delicious thing in the world… and I love you. I'll never forget this day…I will love you for the rest of my life." He eased his penis out of her and stayed with his body supported on his elbows, kissing Buffy's face mindlessly. _

_"My God I feel so tired." Buffy relaxed further and further until her body became languid and she fell asleep. She had never been so pleased before on her life, so strangely and deeply satisfied. She was truly spent for the first time and so had been Angel._

_zzz_

_That night had been so good, a baby came out of it. Buffy thought she couldn't honestly call Patrick a mistake, or a consequence even. It was their miracle, a love baby. That much pleasure was bound to create something perfect like Patrick Daniel. After that, Buffy had never actually viewed sex the same way._

_It made a world of difference, not to say any other men were virtually invisible for her, had always been and will always be. Spike included in that category._

_If Angel had known he would have gone crazy, for and with her. Thinking back, he would have stayed with her, giving her his name, his life, his support, anything she needed, she wonder once again, why on God's name she had kept quiet._

_Darla and Angel, that was why. He had been mean, going straight back with 'The bitch form hell' forgetting he trusted Buffy at the first compromising situation, cursed and insulted her, when she knew she was innocent. Even Spike had sworn they weren't together, they'd never been. _

_But, Angel had been a deft machine of jealousy, thinking the worse of his best friend and his girlfriend, and as she found out later, he had been brainwashed by Faith, so very Othello of him, if he could he would have killed Buffy and Spike, but, he didn't, he went away, cut his links, and acted like they've never known each other in the first place; forgetting all, the love, the engagement, the promises, everything that had laid between Buffy and him. _

_How was Buffy to tell him after all this, that she was pregnant with his baby? He would have shouted her that she was a liar; it had to be Spike's. And Buffy couldn't bear that, so she went away too, keeping that huge, devastating secret with her._

_On their graduation prom Angel had look at Buffy twice without saying anything at all, and whispering without words "I hate you" very loudly. It had seemed to Buffy and Willow he loved Darla a lot more back then._

_So Buffy decided to step out. Darla would live, give him everything he needed. She would share a bright future with him, and be happily ever after. Even though Buffy knew by then she was pregnant, and had Angel had eyes he would have seen her sad and moping all the time; If not round and healthy as she had never been before._

_Angel had only noticed she was more beautiful than ever, and thought painfully so that Spike was making her very happy._

_Now, she knew a look like that meant jealousy, not hate. He had been as torn and jaded about the situation as her, broken in the sick feeling of envy. How badly had Angel envied Spike those days, hated him for having the women he loved with all his heart._

_It had seemed reasonable at the time to put distance between them. But, with the things Angel had said of their marriage to Buffy, she had gathered: Angel still loved Buffy. He had always loved Buffy and forever will. Darla had been his biggest mistake. _

_What an Irony, she thought._

_If they had only talked about it, things would be so different now. No point on regrets this late, right?_

_**zzz**_

_**OK, this is what you missed, hoped you liked it! Let me know how you felt about it!**_

_**The mean kitten.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: the House Angel describes is the same one used in the movie "The Notebook" if you hadn't seen it, do it. It has some very steamy sex scenes, extraordinary plot and Ryan Gosling seducing Rachel Mac Adams. No plagiary or crossover there, just kept that movie's set in my mind as I wrote the fiction.

An2: this is also MA (nc17) if I get banned you know you must sue fanfiction dot net.

You know what I want: read and review!!!

**Chapter 6**

"**Would you forgive me?" **

zzz Two to Tango 

Miraculously, they stopped just in time to get inside the car, and drove to the hotel breaking the speed limit. The valet received them with a funny look, and walked them to the suite without issuing a word, but looking very smug with the couple.

Buffy and Angel had lovers reunion written all-over them. They were practically oozing sexual tension inside the elevator.

As the keypad showed their floor, they stepped out. Angel, Conscious of Buffy's back-cleavage in front of the bell boy, stepped behind her, and covered the gloriousness of her body with his. That show of perfect flesh would be only for him.

He entered the key slowly, a bit nervous, and mildly self-conscious of his very obvious erection. Buffy came first. No ceremonial carrying across the threshold like the first time, or champagne to dull her. He wanted her willing, ready, and as sober as possible.

As the door closed behind her, Buffy kept her back towards him, feeling weird, disoriented and jittery. She had never come to a hotel with a man. Except that first time with angel, that had been almost ten years ago.

And she remembered too vividly the outcome of that revelry.

The room was luxurious, full of flowers and expensive adornments. It was the presidential suite, a money pit as far as she was concerned. The best for his baby, thought Angel. He was a bit nervous too. A whole family of butterflies had settled on his stomach. And all the blood seemed to be either at his face or rushing to his dick.

He'd dreamed about Buffy for years.

By keeping her back to him, Buffy was seducing his senses with the view of her naked spine, all soft and silky planes, begging to be kissed.

"Where were we, baby?" He walked slowly towards her and she sensed the magnetic pull of his body, barely turning on time to catch his lips on hers.

"Right about here." All the nervousness disappeared as the two lovers collided unto each other. He melted those soft lips like candy, sucking and nibbling, while Buffy kept moaning; Angel couldn't believe he had finally gotten Buffy around to grant him his wish.

He was groping with able hands the perfectly naked breast beneath the silk, at her uncovered, accessible sides. He was grinding his dick against her mound. He could hardly wait to be inside her, with all that wet, tight heat surrounding him. She was responding with natural arousal, moaning and shaking with overwhelming sensations. Her core was getting wetter every second, it had been so long since the last time she had had sex with a man. And he was so good at it. Angel couldn't believe this was happening; he thought about pinching himself just to prove he wasn't dreaming. His every fantasy was right in front of him, flushed, willing, thawed, and so ready to take him he could almost taste the honey of her core.

"Ah baby… you sure about this?" he stuttered out. He wanted to give her an opportunity to say no, even though he thought she was very affirmative about her body language.

"Yeah…I'm very sure…I need this so much. It's only a night." Buffy said as she clasped her hands roughly above his, aiding him to grab her breast more fully and roughly; feeling her heart quickened, and the slight twitch between her legs burned into a wet grip around itself.

"It's going to be one long night. I'm dying to go down on you, baby." He pushed the tip of his tongue into her ear, making her shiver uncontrollably; her nipples were turning hard against his hands.

"Yes…I need that too." Then he blew puffs of moist air at her nape and Buffy felt her cheeks flushing. The sexual tension was escalading to uncontrolled proportions.

"I'm dying to put my big, hard, cock …inside you." Her breath drew in hard and her chest heaved. She could come from that expert tongue. Her hairs stood on end and her core liquefied with each undulation on his mouth around the shell of her ear.

"I, ahem… I'd love to be fucked… now." she stammered, he gasped. His cock had somersaulted with her words, drawing instinctively closer to her center.

"That'd be my pleasure." He turned her around slowly, untied the knot of the halter dress, let it slip to the floor and marveled at the goddess in front of him.

"You like what you are seeing?" Buffy blushed from head to toe. Her thong was almost sheer, soaked thoroughly on her clear fluids. Her breasts were erect and naked and her knees were trembling from his hungry staring, she only had her heels and her panties on.

"God! You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" He kneeled in front of her and took her shoes off, taking each foot between his huge hands. Once she was barefoot he pushed her slowly towards the bed, those sparkling eyes were dark with unsatisfied passion.

She fell on top of the silk sheets almost in slow motion, he couldn't help to smile and follow. She made such a perfect picture he thought he would like to keep her like that forever. But, her body was pulling him very swiftly.

"You are too dressed, mister hedgehog." He hurried and the belt buckle gave him some trouble. Buffy sat at the edge of the bed and helped him, taking his pants off easily, placing each of her legs around his, and her hands around his hipbones, insinuating that she would give him head soon.

"I want to go down on you first." He tried to dislodge her, but she struggled to get access to his penis, and when she did, he didn't want her to stop.

"Na na na, YOU are going to go first." Buffy licked his navel in anticipation and Angel moaned deeply, letting his underwear make a pool around his ankles along with his trousers, his jacket, his tie and his shirt.

Buffy swirled her tongue around his navel several times and then she started going down, drawing little circles around his lower abs. Angel became restless, feeling his balls tighten; he hadn't had sex with a woman in months, his body begging to be slammed into her mouth. So he grabbed her face between her hands and directed her to his shaft.

"Buffy you are killing me here…please, you know I need it so badly," she took pity on him and drew his shaft into her mouth, grabbing it firmly at the base, her mouth was moist and viselike, so he felt like he was going to come at any second.

She sucked the tip first, sideways, butting it against the inside of her cheeks, giving it time to rub against the smooth skin. Then she left it out and blew hot air on it. Angel got restless and pushed his hips fully into her face.

"Please, baby. I need more, good you are so good…I'm going to come so hard." she complied to his request, sucking it in slowly, but, roughly, giving it the maximum suction force she could muster.

"You are so good, baby. Keep doing that." After a few minutes of soft plunders she deep throated him, moaning around him, relaxing her gag reflexes to give him maximum depth.

"Holly mother of God!" He came right inside her mouth, slamming his pelvis against her face; there was so much sperm that he coated the walls of her throat, filling her belly with his warm seed. She swallowed it all without complain. It had been such a long time without real intercourse for Angel. This was just pure bliss.

She stood away from the bed and moved towards the mini bar, opening a can of seven up on the way back. Semen wasn't too keen on her. But, the look on his face, the hunched back, and the hands still grasping his pulsing manhood between his hands was all the payoff she needed.

"Your welcome…sailor." she moved towards the bathroom and he reacted.

"I'm not done with you—as a matter of fact—we haven't even begun!" Buffy double guessed her decision again. She wasn't sure she wanted him between her legs, even if it was a one night deal. But, her cunt had a mind of her own. Seduction was a matter of two, and she was in great need of retribution.

"I-I…ahem, haven't done this in a VERY long time—years actually—might be a little rusty, you sure you wanna…?" She didn't finish the sentence; he grabbed her hand, and pulled her towards him, crushing her body to his.

"It's like bicycles, Baby. Once you learn …you never forget." He kissed her thoroughly, poking the deep recesses of her mouth as he caressed the inside of her thighs; she was now standing between his legs, the same position he had been a few minutes ago.

"What's wrong, Buffy? Are you having second thoughts?" Angel's hand traveled on their own volition to cover Buffy's breasts; they were so fair that he could see the veins beneath the skin, the nipples were the color or grapes, darker at the center and lighter around the aureole; Angel was fascinated with them.

"No, is just that I haven't—I haven't done this in a really long time. I'm afraid of all these feelings that are—bulging inside me."

"It's ok, baby. We'll take it slow. You want me to stop, you just say it." Buffy took a calming breath and her body seemed to protest even further, the tingling sensation spreading to the tip of her fingers, she wanted to touch him so badly, to make love to him, and to let him make love to her.

"That's the problem—I don't want you to stop." Angel pressed his forehead against Buffy's belly as his hands went down to circle her waist, he could fit it inside them, small-boned as she was.

"Then I won't." It was as simple as that, he released her waist and laced his fingers with hers, and then he let his body fall unto the bed and dragged her on top pf him.

"Use me, Buffy. Do whatever you want with me." Buffy directed his hands to her moist center, making fairly clear what she wanted.

"Touch me, Angel. I want you to touch me; I want you—to make me feel like a woman again." He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, sheltering her body with his; then he kissed her collarbone and neck, ascending until he reached her lips, marveling at the feeling of her body inside his arms.

She sighed loudly from time to time, the kisses were getting heated. As she started shuddering, he sensed her readiness and pushed her down gently onto the mattress, opening her spread eagle at the process.

A hint of fear came to Buffy as he pushed his face between her legs. Just above her pelvic bone, hidden beneath the curls, was the C-section scar. The mark left there by the birth of Patrick Daniel, his son.

Which he didn't know about yet, Buffy had still not find the right time to tell him. And this sure as hell wasn't it.

Buffy wondered if he had seen it. He noticed it. But, his mind was elsewhere. He didn't care at the moment about anything but giving back the pleasure Buffy had just given him.

He used his tongue, going up and down around her folds, softly sucking her outer lips, pulling them until the inner lips where a deep crimson, shiny with arousal. Then, he pushed two fingers inside her, stretching her with care, as his thumb pressed against her clit.

"Oh… Oh my! …please don't stop that!" He thrust and turned his finger against her silken walls over and over again, until she trembled with spasms contracting around his digits. Her cunt was closing-in on his fingers. She was right there at the verge of her orgasm. And he suddenly stopped.

"Turn around, baby." She was outraged, he couldn't be serious, she could hardly move a finger; the tautness before the impending climax was too-bloody-strong!

"Fuck you!" He turned her around with a flop of his hands, burying her head on the pillows roughly, he wanted her on all fours, and he wanted her there quickly.

"That's the idea!" He contemptuously said as he lifted her right leg unto a pillow and spread her sex to his pleasure.

"I don't want it anal!" He was manhandling her so easily, that it scared her. The men she had dated before were never that domineering, he knew what he wanted, and he wouldn't stop until he got it.

"I won't. You'll like better like this. Besides, I want to feel you come around me, it's my wish." She screamed as he pushed in one fell swoop his entire shaft inside her, stretching her beyond relieve. Angel screamed right along with her. She was his match made in heaven, not an inch to spare, not an inch too short…just perfect.

"See, me on top would have put too much pressure on your breasts —I mean your ribs, this is so much better, you skinny sack of bones, plus, I've dreaming of having you like this all night, I just love your perky little ass." He started massaging her clit and coming in an out softly, settling into a slow but mindless rhythm.

"You are such a pervert!" Without much effort she started coming, buckling and trembling with her release, panting loudly. His thickness and length were just punitive. No regular man had those dimensions…or that technique. He rotated his hips to hit the deeper inner wall, bumping her womb with each thud. Making Buffy shuddered with heartbreaking spasms around him. He came in an out all the way, slowly, the way he knew she'd like it.

She had never felt an orgasm that lasted so long and took her so over the edge. She felt one peak after the other; until she was jelly beneath Angel's hand, boneless and spent. He had kept her secured with his hand under her body, like a bar, held motionless for his attack.

"Say something please, call me names, tell me you hate it… just say something." She whined loudly, he was splitting her apart. But, hell if it wasn't a delicious ripping. She had been reaching pinnacle after pinnacle of extreme sensation. He had kept Bumping and bumping mindlessly in and out of her, he didn't want to come, the sensation was pure bliss, so he kept giving her more of that release, Buffy became hollow as a soap bubble, letting his rhythm take her away from all things.

"Cum now, please. I can't take this pleasure much longer…you're branding me!" He had stayed ramming a long time after her succession of orgasms, while Buffy moaned and clenched those silky walls for him. Now she was sore, she hadn't had sex with a real man in nine years. This was just like a first time done all over.

"I can live with that." After a while he stopped and turned her around again. This time, he kissed her deeply as he made tender love to her, him on top.

He slowed his thrusts and settled-down enjoying the depth instead of the movement. Soon he was sheathed, he couldn't move further and his balls where as tight as leather, he kept his body high, suspended on his elbows so he wouldn't crush her with his weigh, but soon he was tensing before the impending orgasm. He didn't want it to end. But, he was physically pressed to find release or die trying it.

"Buffy… my baby. You're so beautiful, my love. God. You do fit me so well!" His lips descended on her temple kissing every inch of her beautiful face. She was moaning almost as loudly as before, face transfixed nearing another climax. He wanted to reassure her of his love, but, their deal of 'one night only' was going to kill him. He couldn't accept that. He wanted her on his bed every night for the rest of his life.

"You're an animal! Good you _fill me_!" he loved that line. He was an animal indeed. He possessed her thoroughly.

"Look at me! I love you, Buffy! Good God, I love you so much." He came with her face squeezed between his hands, grinding his hipbones against hers.

**zzz**

"That was good, Angel…better that good actually," Buffy stood up on shaky legs and went to bathroom, cleaning up the mess he had made of her. Though she was gloriously sated she felt like she could…and should go another round, it was a one night deal, and she best made the most of it. "Did I heard it wrong or you said you loved me?"

"I did say that…I love you, more than I've ever loved before, it's that alright? You look confused." Buffy came back and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Then this isn't a one night stand. What are we doing here, Angel?"

"I don't know; all I know is that I care more about you than anybody else in the world, I always have, I've always loved you, you and no other."

"I—I don't know what to say, Angel."

"Don't say anything then, let's just take this one step a time, we are here, we are having fun, the rest is not important…not tonight… besides, I know you love me too. You said it back at the hospital, when you were a little delirious."

"I said that! I can't believe you…" Angel interrupted Buffy from saying anything else, crawling to the end of the bed, to catch her and draw her inside his arms again.

"I want you up now, Darling. I'm not done for the night yet." Angel turned Buffy around once again so she was straddling him, caressing her hips so she would restart the perfect engine between them.

"Hang on. I need to reset my heart!" He made her take his cock between her hands and pushed it inside her slowly, missing the feeling of him stretching her, getting pleasure from the semi state just as well. She began her rhythm and he closed his eyes, letting the feeling of peak escalate on its own.

"Ride me, baby…ride me like you will!" He took a while to be fully up again. But, when he was, it was a magnificent feeling of completion. He wrapped his hands around her tiny waist and clang to her barnacle-like. They reached that pinnacle together.

He could have stayed in that blissful state forever.

She swayed backwards, her hair touching his knees, giving him the most erotic picture of a woman he'd ever seen. Her scar giving it a human touch he'd never felt with Darla. He loved her inside-out, with flaws and perfections, with her borrowed heart and all that.

The act itself took a different tint, a more relaxed fashion. Once the compulsion was removed, passion had plenty of room to bring obsession and fulfillment together.

His penis started coming in and out of her slowly, at his leisure, his hands guiding her hips up and down his length, sideways too, that silky embrace taking him deeply into its own mindless oblivion.

Buffy dug her nails into his knees as she clenched. Angel was thrusting her down harder unto his dick. The perfect slickness making its sounds as the fluids eased the way. It was a suspended state of reality. Nothing existed beyond that bed.

Until temperature rose inside her, the friction becoming an inferno of heat, the moving got frenzied and Buffy came again, the pulse of her walls so brutal it bucked her up and down over and over unto him, completely taken with wave after wave of ecstasy.

"Good God! You feel like heaven and hell melt together" He followed her with the same jerky moans until his balls tightened and he exploded inside her, blown away by the energy radiating between them.

A thought cross his mind, could you feel when you had created life, or was it just the male perception of unburden ease and accomplishment?

He thought not, there couldn't be a logical way. There could be possibility yes, but, not certainty. Lots of magic went on behind conception; he knew that from his training days of medical school. But, he had felt it, something weird, different and magical. Maybe he was nuts, or just hopeful. Maybe it was the magic behind making love. But, the idea slipped into his mind and settled deeply inside his brain. The Force of wanting would have been enough to keep him up, making love the rest of the night, had it not been that Buffy had fallen spent on his chest a few seconds later.

She was breathing hard and erratically, her recent surgery very withstanding at the moment. He thought to ask if she was 'ok' but, her heart was beating a very fine 110/60 right beneath his mouth. She was very well, just still overwhelmed with emotions. No power of coercion would have sufficed to rouse her again.

She had thought of exact same thing before collapsing on top of him, a sweet memory in mind.

Exhausted, Angel dropped his sweaty head on the pillow holding her tight against him while he tried to control the emotions that were running through him. Darla had never made him feel _like that_.

Their bodies relaxed on top of each other, a few minutes after the storm ended, the doziness took over, and the sweat, semen and other bodily fluids remained heady on the air. No wonder people said the smell of great sex was unmistakable.

Buffy hadn't fared any better after the riot receded, she had taken deep breaths trying to calm her racing heart, that felt like it was going to burst out of her chest, the broken sternum barely healed, legs aching for being spread that far, core burning form the extreme friction. She had ridden him hard indeed. Her arms had been wrapped around him and she cradled herself inside his embrace, feeling safe and nurtured. She had fallen asleep on top of him without intending to. Remembering to say something on the verge of unconsciousness…

"I love you too, Angel. I've always have." Angel stirred and looked down at her, her face was flushed, but still relaxed, she had a very satisfied smirk on her lips, and tiny droplets of sweat were rolling down her neck and unto her collarbone. He couldn't resist it; he leaned in and licked it up, savoring the taste of her body.

He whispered hotly into her hair "I love you too, baby. Always have…always will." And then they fell easily and blissfully into asleep.

zzz It will continue on chapter 6 part B zzz

**Chapter 6 part B**

Lies, secrets and deceits 

**zzz**

As Angel wondered-around on the early morning, asking himself how he had wound up with Buffy Summers beneath his arm, Doctor O'Quinn realized he had slept like the dead, unconsciously spooning Buffy, protecting her with his body, as if he had been doing it for years, …rather that twice in a life time. He had slept full eight hours, without nightmares and without midnight calls. It was so refreshing.

He awoke her with a few kisses beneath her waist, then they traveled to the shower (they were filthy) and got even dirtier under the spray. A little nookie before breakfast finished the stellar morning.

He wanted all the time to ask about the scar. But, he couldn't, the possibility was unreal. Either Buffy had surrogated, or she had had a baby and given him in adoption, because no other option seemed to appear, or maybe she had a baby with another man and she didn't want to say it, Angel was ok with that, ten years were almost a lifetime, much could've happened to her on that time.

He wasn't stupid, he knew a c-section scar, and she had one.

He dropped it. His love for her was big enough to understand either prospect. He hadn't been a monk all those years. Why should have she?

Still, if she had given a baby for adoption, who had been the father?

**zzz**

After all that action in the morning Buffy was energized. Buffy and Angel had said goodbye on the lobby, she had taken a cab, wearing the sexy dress beneath a woolen coat, Angel had told her, he would be house-hunting most of the day, and will call her to get another date scheduled with her.

Buffy arrived at her office with a huge loopy grin. Face flushed and hair in lovely disarray. She had sex written all-over her face. Anya hadn't asked her anything, it had been pretty obvious where she'd been the night before.

Angel found the most beautiful house for them, just outside the city; it had a lake nearby, four bedrooms, four bathrooms, a veranda all around it, and a small workshop at the back. It was from the 50s decade, white paint all-over with Navy blue windows, two stories, and an attic, a huge rose garden and many acres of untouched forest. And after seen it Angel had made and offer to the owner he couldn't refuse, waiting only for Buffy to see it and give her two thumbs up.

Thinking ahead of her—Even though he knew it was wrong to do so—he went to her place to get her some decent clothes. He had taken the address from her agenda without her noticing.

He thought of it as a nice gesture. And even more to his help, Buffy had left her home keys in his Navigator. He new she hadn't noticed, because she hadn't called him about that.

And Angel went to Jersey, looking for Buffy's place. He found it easily. Little did he know what would happen next…

**Zzz **

As Angel came inside of the apartment, he noticed the TV was on, a video game was showing. The kitchen was messy, a pizza cardboard on the stool. Beer and coke cans were laying on the floor.

His eyes traveled down to the figure bent face down on the carpet.

It was a boy, a tall one, measured by the size of his feet and calves.

Dark hair, approximate age: 8 or 9, calculated Angel by the 4th grade book besides the Xbox.

"Daddy Spike, somebody broke in!" Patrick Daniel screamed as he saw the tall guy looking at him with mouth hanging agape, and eyes the size of cannonballs.

"What the hell!" Spike came out with a baseball bat and Patrick grabbed a knife from the kitchen stool.

"Spike?" Angel was speechless.

It was like looking in a mirror. That boy was his. Same eyes, same hair, same face, it was undeniable… Had he ever seen the boy even once before in his life!

"Angelus O-bloody fucking-Quinn! I haven't seen you in years, mate! What are you doing sneaking on me like that? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He dropped the bat and moved to shake hands with his friend.

"No, just thought to drop by, I moved to New York last month, I thought I should get acquainted again, and that's _Doctor O'Quinn_ to you. Who is this?" Patrick was still a little weary, not comfortable with Angel yet.

"My name is Patrick Daniel Frazier. Who the hell are you!" That attitude gave it all away. Angel had been that rude and far worse at ten. Plus, the hair had the same wild constitution. Angel's mother had died when he was that age; Patrick had almost lost his too.

Suddenly it all clicked together, the things Joyce and Dawn had said about him, Buffy's reluctance to meet him at her place, Buffy's c-section scar, Buffy's insistence that they had something very important to talk about, and couldn't bring herself to spit out.

The two times she had caught herself about to say something that started with Pa, that time at the elevator where she said: we have... Everything fit into one huge undeniable truth, this boy was his son, conceived at April 1996.

"Well, I'm—_a friend_—of your parents. Your mom's name it's Buffy, right?" Patrick became even wearier, swinging a knife angrily to him.

"What did you to her? Where is she? Why do you have her keys!" Angel laughed. What _didn't _he do to her, was more accurate. He noticed he had Buffy's keys clutched inside his hand.

"She's at work, asked me to get her something from here. You should be at school. Is that right, _daddy_ Spike?" Spike took the knife from Patrick's hand and placed it safely inside the knife holder.

"No, it's Wednesday, he starts at noon. He should be doing his homework, though." Patrick took his cue and left. Never taking his eyes from the man he thought was after his mommy.

"Nice to meet you too, Patrick Daniel!" Like water drops, thought Spike. But, Patrick had grown thinking Spike was his father, and he did loved the boy more than life itself.

"How did it go _last night_, then?" The hint was derogatory, as if Spike had a complaint, rather than justified jealousy. And that tipped Angel of the nature of his relationship with Buffy. It was not sexual.

"I'll let Buffy tell you." He pulled out his cell phone and called her.

"Hello, this is Doctor Buffy Summers here, who am I speaking to?" she had that professional tone on her voice, Angel hated that, as if he hadn't fuck her ten times over the last 12 hours.

"Hi, Buffy! It's Angel. I'm at your place… I just met Patrick Daniel." Buffy nearly fainted. The lack of oxygen was disturbing her brain. She thought she had lost her hearing. But no, it was right.

Angel had met Patrick!

"You did? …Could you put Spike on the phone?" Buffy panicked.

"No, I can't do that. You and I are going to talk long and hard at your office in one hour. Stay there." He clipped the phone closed and his tone gave away the anger. He was pissed off. And no wonder!

"Whatever you're going to say to me, you first have to talk to Buffy. And just so you know. He's MY son. And he be knows it!" Angel grinded his jaws together so hard that his teeth scratched, he was getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"I'm not gonna talk to you right now." He turned around and left, slamming the door behind him, he couldn't speak, the thoughts and feelings where overlapping each other, until all was a red haze, he had to calm down.

He was sure Buffy had his reasons. It was possible he was really Spike's or even someone else's. But, he could also be his. And that thought was burning him. Actually, he _knew _it was his. That was why Buffy had never called him back over the years. She couldn't. Not without risking the truth to come into the light. And God forgave her; she had pissed him so badly! That was just unpardonable.

**zzz**

_**California, April 1996**_

_**Same day Angel and Spike had the discussion about Buffy, hours afterwards:**_

"_Hi!__ …God what happened to you?"_

"_Your ex-boyfriend…he paid me a visit a couple of hours. __ He had the craziest ideas in his head."_

"_What was it?"_

"_He thinks you and I have something going on behind his back__,"_

"_Is he that paranoid?"_

"_No, or yes. But I think it was Faith, __this has her name written all over it,"_

"_Have you seen her? Is she alright? I heard she had an __accident,"_

"_She's fine, Luv. Don't worry about her…how are you?" Spike touched Buffy's arm, caressing the elbow tenderly._

"_I'm alright. But, that drink at your party!__ …if left me groggy for hours. I wonder what was in it."_

"_Dalmane…she put it in my drink too. It's a heavy sedative. I presume it's her bedtime medication__."_

"_We should tell Angel…he needs to know his sister is loosing it again__."_

"_I think he knows. Forget them…you ready for surgery?" Buffy had told Spike during the party that she would have another valve replacement during that week. She hadn't told Angel yet, waiting for the best time, she could have easily died if something went wrong with that surgery. And she didn't want to worry Angel needlessly._

"_As ready as I__'ll ever be. I just wish he was there with me."_

"_But you never told him__."_

"_I__ still wouldn't. He's so burned-out with this Faith thing and graduation…me going into surgery it's too much pressure."_

"_It's alright, Buffy. Willow and I will be right there with you__," Spike hugged her then and tried to kiss her._

_In that moment Angel walked by the parking lot, seeing them together and going back on his steps, deciding not to apologize to Spike after all._

_He had been sorry for not trusting him. He had come back to apologize for his stubbornness, he had wanted to hear the truth then. Imagine his shock to see his fiancée hugging and kissing his best friend, when he had sworn there wasn't anything __between them._

_Angel was truly hurt for been used by them then__ like that. He thought Buffy should've told him she was just using him to get back with Spike. He wondered how he could have been so blind and Buffy so horribly fake, it had been all an act. Faith had been right. Buffy had used him to get back with Spike._

_He left without ever turning back his eye, keeping the memory of Buffy and Spike hugging and kissing seared in his brain. He didn't want to watch them for another second. He decided not to talk to either one of them ever again. Angel didn't want to hear any more lies, the ones already said, were more than enough for him. _

_He didn't care of the explanations Buffy or Spike, could have, and should have given him. He condemned them without kn__owing the truth of the matter, trusting that his sister wouldn't have lied to him about the love of his life and his best friend. _

"_I know. I'm so thankful for that."_

"_I love you__, Buffy." she pushed Spike roughly aside, shoving him away from her. But Angel never saw that._

"_What?"_

"_I said, I love you, do you love me?" Spike tried to kiss her, but Buffy pushed him away again._

"_We are just friends__, Spike! I love Angel, not YOU! " Spike shrugged with a painful sigh, caressing Buffy's long blonde tresses for a second, caught up in her beauty. He did truly love her. And in that second he knew she didn't love him back…at least not like that. And she never would._

"_I knew that. It's that crazy ex-boyfriend of yours that has that bullshit of a lie stuck in his thick head__."_

"_Let him be. He deserves to have suspicions__."_

"_Really? Well, those suspicions are going to make you two miserable for the rest of your lives__."_

"_Don't say that! He's going to realize he's wrong and say he will be sorry, he'll rectify. He'll be back and we'll be together again__."_

"_And it will be all peachy and perfect!__ …wake up, Buffy! He's never going to humiliate himself like that. He thinks he's a fucking God for Christ's sake!"_

"_Yes, he will!__ Because he loves me. I know it. You know it too. He just has to open up his eyes."_

"_Excuse me, Buffy. But, that man—__my best friend Angelus—it's as blind, and as deft as a wall. He's a fucking mule! He'll never think it was a sham! He truly believes what Faith said! No power on earth will change his mind. No matter what we do, he's already crucified us…truth of the matter be damned. He will never forgive us! Don't you see that?"_

"_Goodbye, Spike. I hope to see you again in better terms." She left without ever turning her head back on him, she never saw Angel's car pulling by the curb just a block from Spike's house. She never saw anything but her own pain after that day. And so did Angel._

End of chapter 6… 

**Zzz**

**Now you know what happened, how they got separated, why Buffy kept the secret, and now that Angel has finally found out, things will change drastically, a major confrontation awaits our heroes… stay tuned****, another update is coming real soon… if you give me a review!**

**The mean kitten.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

**Call me brave and stupid**

**ZZZ**

**Unfounded Fears**

On the last chapter Angel left Buffy's home really angry. So he calmed down before going to her, he didn't want anger to cloud his judgment, like the last time he had dealt with her.

He parked the huge car in an impossibly small spot, and walked slowly to her office. He knew he had hell coming down on him. Angel had these theories. It was one of the following circumstances:

Patrick Daniel was Spike's, and by a fluke of nature he looked like Angel, so Buffy had never told him, so he wouldn't be confused.

Patrick Daniel was his, but Buffy had never told him because she wasn't sure it was really his, and had never really wanted to get a paternity test.

Patrick Daniel was his and Buffy knew it. She had kept it a secret because she didn't want Angel or his family on the boy's life…for some reason.

Patrick Daniel wasn't Buffy's or Spike's, he had been adopted.

He was practically positive it was either the first or the third choice. But, he was open to accept other circumstances he hadn't imagined before as well.

**ZZZ **

Buffy had been going crazy out of her mind over the last 47 minutes, she had paced her office to and fro a million times, she had sent Anya home early, she had fixed a really dark espresso and drank it all, by then she was positively jittery, trembling with suppress anxiety.

She thought of writing it all down, and giving him a letter, but he deserved face to face honest, and the wait to do it was killing her.

Angel rang the bell and that made Buffy jump out of her seat, she had been chewing her nails, and staring at the empty seat across from her.

"I'm coming!" She jumped from the seat and tripped, nearly falling face-first onto the floor, thank God she didn't, she just felt terribly humiliated as she steadied herself, then she took the key from Anya's desk and walked, taking deep breaths in between, dragging herself towards the glass door. Her heart—Faith's heart—was pumping crazy inside her chest. It was making her feel as if she was running a marathon, instead of making a purposely slow walk.

"Hi. Before you say anything, take a deep breath and calm down, I can see you're…very _upset_. The last thing I want is to give you a heart attack." Buffy stepped aside from the door and let Angel inside, taking a deep shuddering breath as he walked by her. She knew she was going to cry her eyes out very soon. Already her sight was clouded, and her lungs were heaving with the tightness of her chest.

"I—please sit down over there—I need to talk to you." Buffy walked to her office and motioned him to sit down in front of her; in the chair she had placed specifically for that.

"Ok." He eased himself on the chair, keeping his eyes on the floor. He knew watching Buffy eye to eye would have made it even harder for her.

"You saw him. So you know he's the spitting image of you. Don't you?" But Angel had to look into her eyes. He had to seek the ultimate truth there.

"I did. How old is he?"

"He's eight, he'll be nine in December 25th this year, he just started fourth grade."

"He is a Christmas baby then? Who's the father?" Buffy didn't expect him to ask that, she had just implied that he was!

"You—you are. He's your son. We have a son together." She blurted it out, like she had been trying to do for weeks.

"What about Spike? Why does Patrick have his last name?"

"This is going to be a very long story … let me just start at the beginning." Buffy took a deep breath and stayed deadly quiet for like a minute, not knowing exactly where to start.

"I'm waiting," she stood up and started pacing the room, if she couldn't see Angel's face it would get easier. She knew she was falling apart just to know he was there, and that he knew her secret.

"Let me just clarify that: Spike and I have never been together, we've never had sex or done anything like that…_ever_. What happened that day in his apartment ten years ago… was Faith's lunatic work. She put something on my drink called 'Dalmane' and dragged me there, where she knew Spike would collapse dead drunk later. What you saw wasn't real. I never kissed him, or pretended to have sex with him. We were just sleeping on the same bed …without our knowledge."

"Why were you naked then?" He remembered perfectly fine the position he had found them in.

"Faith undressed me. For all I can remember is, taking one drink of soda and then falling asleep dead on the spot, then you came and you said all those terrible things to me, and you also accused me of cheating on you…

I knew I hadn't done anything … But, you didn't listen to a word I said, you were filthy drunk and spitting anger. You thought the worst of Spike and I, and I couldn't even defend myself!

I was drugged, when I went home I slept for like twenty hours straight and the next thing I did was: go talk to Spike to find out what the hell had actually happened, he told me how Faith had said a lot of crazy things to him, and how she had drugged him too …over the days I tried talking to you, explain all these things, but you stopped going to class, and then you treated me like shit, next thing I hear that you and Darla are back together…

And that just did it for me. I knew it was over between us. I didn't want to explain anything else to you then."

It all came out of her mindlessly. She started talking and the words came out in a succession of sentences that had no logical order between them, just the order Buffy's heart was giving it. It was a catharsis of sorts.

"But it wasn't over. What happened then?" Angel also remembered the conversation he had half witnessed between Buffy and Spike, their cozy hug.

"I had another surgery and they replaced the mitral valve again, because the other one had gone too small for my size, so I skipped classes for weeks. I had to make a huge effort to continue the extra credit plan and graduate before time. I avoided you, Spike, and Faith, and concentrated on my studies with Willow. You must know that Spike and I were never really together."

"When did you find out you where pregnant?"

"It was in July. I had skipped a lot of periods without even noticing, I started getting weigh and next thing I go to the doctor and he tells me that: ' I've lost my mind' because I'm having a kid at 15 with my heart problems. I told mom… and she told me I had to get an abortion, I really couldn't do that! So I decided to give him for adoption." Buffy still could have terminated the risky pregnancy by that time, but she didn't. She loved the baby she had made with Angel too much. She couldn't kill him or her like that.

"And in all this time you were considering what to do with our baby, it never crossed your mind to talk to me!" He screamed; Angel couldn't understand how she had been so stupid …and him so blind.

"Of course I did! I tried to talk to you at the senior prom, and you took one look at me and turned around with that horrible expression on your face, like you were ashamed of having slept with me on the first time! Like I wasn't good enough for you! You jumped into Darla's arms and never left her through the night. I couldn't talk to you like that! …And then we all left school, and I never saw you again. What else could I've done at that time?"

"I can't believe that! I saw you with Spike that night and I burned inside-out with envy and now _you tell me _that I looked at you _like that_! And you were pregnant with _my_ baby!

God, I thought you were so happy with Spike, that you wouldn't even say 'hello' to me!

How the hell did Spike find out you where pregnant then?"

Angel remembered that night, she had look so beautiful in her pink taffeta dress, he did recall she had gained weigh exquisitely, filled-up in all the right places, that was why he had envied Spike so much. It seemed she had blossomed with him. Shocker to find now, she was so beautiful because she was carrying his baby inside her.

"No, I didn't go with him. We only _danced _together once. And he didn't know about the baby then! It happened way later…

I went with Willow to New York in August …because mom was very angry with me, she and dad were getting a divorce and I didn't want to move to Sunnydale with her, and dad didn't want me in LA with him…

So I called Giles, my godfather here in New York, and he accepted to have me. I told him about the baby, and how I would work for the rest of the pregnancy and give him in adoption when he was born, and he took me in, with the condition that I went college. I accepted his offer and Willow came with me. She helped me all along."

"It was truth then. Spike told me that, the last time we talked, that your parents were getting a divorce, and you didn't want to stay with either one of them."

"I really didn't. So, I tried to get an open adoption for Patrick …and turned out nobody wanted anything to do with a kid who could have a congenital heart defect. Several times the wanabe-parents turned me down at the last minute because I was risky…

So I considered the other option and couldn't do it anymore, I was far too advanced to terminate, and I didn't want to. In the end, I started college seven months pregnant and at the third day of school I met Spike on one of hallways. He saw me and knew it was yours. He put two-and-two together and seeing that we obviously weren't together—you and me—and we will never be, he offered me to be the daddy."

"You're sure he isn't the father?"

"Of course I am! I told you: We've never been together! He only helped me, so I wouldn't have to give our baby for adoption. He became the father, because you weren't there!"

"Because: you never told me!"

"Because: I didn't want to ruin your life! You had such a promising future! I was going to die anyway!"

Buffy broke down in tears as she remember all those times they had roused her hopes, she dreamed she would find a good, loving home for her baby, that would allow her to know her child as he grew, the few years she had still to be with him. But, it always ended bitterly when they heard she was on death row, waiting for her heart valves to malfunction one day; she knew a heart transplant would probably never come.

They all ran for their lives. Afraid of the pain, and the cost, and the trouble, that potentially heartsick, retarded or weak child she would give to them would cause. But, Patrick Daniel wasn't any of those; Patrick had been born healthy and pretty as a cherished little angel, with big brown eyes, dark hair and seven pounds of perfect sturdiness. He had been a parent's dream. But, by then Buffy had Spike, Giles and Willow by her side, and she wouldn't and _couldn't_ say goodbye to her miracle baby.

"And you said yes? You left him be the substitute parent, instead of telling me the truth!"

"Of course I did, I had two jobs, a partial scholarship, a baby on the way and not a penny to cover all my medical expenses, nothing to say of his. Spike was kind and generous, he let me stay at his apartment for years; he helped me look after Patrick during classes, etc. He's been a really good dad all this time. I wanted to tell you all the time, but I just couldn't."

"You tell me, you were never together. And he never had sex with you, when he was paying for the baby, giving him his name, and living on the same apartment with you all the time?" Angel couldn't believe that!

"Yes, Angel! We raised him together, but, we were never a couple! He always knew you were the father! That …I still loved you with all my sick heart and I'd always will!"

Buffy said the last part shouted, it was the truth, she was liberating herself of all the lies and secrets she had kept for years. Telling that tiny piece of truth wouldn't do any more damage than the other facts had done before. And it had slipped out her heart along with all those years of secrets so easily.

"And he kept quiet about that too! You, Willow, Spike, Joyce, Giles, all those people knew he was mine and you never told me! What's wrong with all of you?! And you dare say you love me! That's some kind of love you have!" Angel was so angry; he smashed his fist against the desk repeatedly, until the numbing pain reached his brain.

"I couldn't tell you! You had a perfect future, and then you married Darla. And I knew you hated me. You would have taken him to Ireland, and I would have never seen him again… Worse even, you would have thrown at my face the fact that I was slut, and that I had used you to get Spike and then pretended to milk you with a bastard!

Isn't that what you would have thought of me then? The things Faith had told you, that you believed so easily of me! Even though we were in love, and engaged too…

And that I had just two days before that party made love with you for the first time! Have you forgotten that too? How could you believe her… when I loved you so much! You broke my heart, Angel!

And now you dare shout at me that I didn't tell you!" Buffy cried out her anguish of loosing Patrick, the fears she had endured for years, the feelings of rage and disbelief she had carried for years. Her chest felt like it was breaking apart and her tears were running unstopped down her face.

"I would have gotten a paternity test once he was born! You should have smacked me on the face, sat me down on my goddamn ass, and drill this thing into me! I would have understood if you had explained me!

I thought you were with Spike, that you really actually wanted to be with him, I thought he was going to give you the happiness that I couldn't give you, I though you loved him!" Angel screamed right back at her.

"How could you think that? I never loved him. It's always been you, only you. And you know that you would've taken Patrick away from me! You with all your money, and all your power, you would have taken him away from me in a second! You don't listen when I talk to you. You never have. And that's your problem. You didn't believe me them, and you still don't believe me now!"

Buffy felt her sobs wreck her tiny frame apart, she never thought telling the truth would hurt so much. She pressed her back against the cold wall behind her, trying to calm herself, her halter dress was clinging perilously at her neck, shaking with her sobs; she covered her face with her hands and let the tears fall down unobstructed.

"My God, Buffy! Put yourself in my shoes. This is pretty hard to believe!" He wasn't like that at all, and he couldn't understand why people—including Buffy—thought so horribly of him. He _was _listening to her then. He was listening to her every word.

"What would you have done then, if I had told all this back then?"

"I would've married you, you _idiot_! Even if you didn't love me, he was still my baby; he deserved a family, a home, the safety I could've provided. The love even! I would have loved him! You see what you robbed me of? As badly as I whished all these years to have a child, as deeply as I've loved you! You think that I would have taken your son away from you?! Like _you did_, keeping him away from me all these years!"

"I thought you hated me! Can't you at least try to understand how I felt all this time?"

"Sure I can, you felt _Brave, like you were doing us a great favor_… guess what, Buffy: you are just stupid! If I hadn't come here, I would have never found out. Weren't you planning on telling me ever? …Look at me goddamn it! He's my son. No matter how much we hurt each other…he's still mine, yours, but _min_e _too._" Angel smashed Buffy against the wall, grabbing her and shaking her by the arms as he shouted.

"Of course I did! I've been trying to do it all these days. I've just been so scared of what you'd do. I can't loose him, Angel. I love him more than life itself. He's my baby. Please don't take him away from me!"

Buffy was crying her eyes out, her hands were pounding his chest as she tried to get out of his embrace; she was shaking with each wail. Angel remembered how weak and fragile she was, he could break her arms if he seized her too hard, all skin and bones as she was. He owed it to her and to Faith's memory to keep her safe; he could destroy her so easily if he just tried to break her.

He worried of how hurt she'd come down from this confession of sins. He realized he couldn't loose her like that; he had to be gentle with her. He had to soothe her fears, calm her down. No matter how rotten he was feeling inside, Buffy was the love of his life, is she died, Patrick would never forgive him.

"I won't! Calm down, baby. I'll never do that! Sush, calm down please…that's it, take a deep breath, I ain't never gonna take him away from you, I swear it! Everything is going to be fine, come here, sit down, baby. You are not going to die. And you are never going to loose him. I promise you that." Angel wooed her onto the chair, caressing her back as he whispered endearments to her ear.

"All these years, I knew I should have told you! But, pride and fear were so strong. I didn't want to accept I had messed up so badly. And then I didn't want to see you again, because of Darla… I loved you so badly! I still can't look at you in the eye, and tell you this… To remember what happened between us last night and not want so badly to…" she said it all between wails and hiccups; she couldn't believe how much had happened in a few hours. She really couldn't bear to look at Angel in the eye, not after the night they've shared so recently.

"To have it all again, and then lose it in an instant." Angel remembered the sweet night they've just had, only a few hours ago. His loins twisted to remember the feel of her body beneath his, the sublime ecstasy, and then the hopes shredded so abruptly.

"I'm so sorry, Angel! I never wanted to hurt you. I swear it! I did it all thinking about you and Patrick, I thought this way it would be better for everyone…"

ZZZ It will continue on chapter 7 part B ZZZ

**Chapter 7 part B**

**More Secrets**

**ZZZ**

"To think that I cleared all your debts, and pretended to be your husband so you and your mother had what you needed. Had I poked a little deeper…the things I would have found out about you!" He didn't think about what he was saying. Angel just wanted Buffy to know he had tried to help her, and she had hurt him so!

"You were the one who paid? My God! I own you a quarter of a million dollars too! I can't ever pay you back for that! You shouldn't have done it! I can't accept it. You must take it all back." Buffy went nuts, shooting out of the chair with frenzy. She could never pay him back all that money!

"And have you—_and my son_—put out on the streets? You were indebt up to your goddamn ass, without a penny in your name, no medical insurance, mother dying of cancer, house, car, office and everything else you had about to be pawned by the bank! I did it because I love you! Goodman it! It was so stupid of me to think that you would even_ thank me_!"

"You know about my mom? Who told you?" Buffy froze on the middle of the room, unable to move a single muscle.

"It was the fucking insurance company! They called looking for you, I answered the call pretending to be your husband, and they told me everything. And _then_ I talked to you mom, got her to see another specialist, and now she's in a program that would make her live longer. So you, and Dawn, and _my son_ can have more time with her … before she dies!" Buffy's heart ringed on her ears, Angel had gone so far for her; he was beyond meddlesome, he had taken her life from her hands and fixed everything that was wrong with it.

"Why? Why did you do all that? Why, goddamn it? Tell me why you did it!" Angel noticed she had gone terribly pale all of the sudden. She was grabbing the back of the chair with white knuckles. And he worried he had gone too far this time. Buffy was seething with fury, retorting to tossing things to him randomly, bloody murder written all over her face.

"Honestly? I don't know anymore. Care maybe, God knows. I just wanted to _help _you, because I still fucking _love you_, because I didn't want you to suffer any more, you know she's going to die soon, I just wanted to give you some time, so you could be with her!"

Buffy clutched a stapler on her hand, frozen in the near flight; hot tears were running down her face. Angel jumped to her, and despite how irritated he was he hugged Buffy, taking the stapler from her hand, and throwing it to the floor.

He left her pain come to him. He knew her mom will die soon. And there was nothing either one of them could do to stop it. As it was with all the secrets and the lies they had endured for years.

"I hate you for all the wrong you've done me! …and I love you, for all the joy you've given me, without even knowing. You are everything that couldn't be, Angel. You are…so much." Whispered Buffy inside Angel's arms, he was wrapped around her, crying too, one hand cradling her head tenderly onto his chest, fingers tangled in the mass of heavy blonde hair; and the other hand on the lowest part of her back, stroking her, drawing her closer to him, to calm the trembling bones of her spine that spoke volumes to his fingers.

"I know …you always hate me when I'm right." They stayed like that for as long as the hot gripping pain surrounded them. Angel wanted so badly to comfort her, and at the same time, he wanted to kill her, for being so stupidly brave too. And Buffy wanted to be forgiven, for all the guilt she had carried over him, for the hurt she knew would come the day her mother died, for the lies, the deceit, the pain, and all the awful things that had been laid between them.

"Angel, please let go." He released her and Buffy sat at the nearest chair, collapsing on top of it, as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand; Angel sat back in front of her too, doing the same with his snotty face.

"Are you feeling better?" He touched her neck, where the pulse was throbbing, she still was very upset, but, her heart had calmed down a bit.

"I'm better. I just need you to try to understand what happened nine years ago… I was 16 years old when Patrick was born. I was just a little girl. I had to make too many sacrifices just to make ends meet…

I had to endure so much, just to keep him beside me. The idea that you could come and break us apart haunted me…

I did what I could do to raise him the best _I could_. And that's it. I don't regret any of that. What I regret is: not trusting you. I should've known better, and I'm sorry for that …And then you know I was so sick over the last years. I knew I could die anytime, and I didn't want him to be put in a foster-home while all of you fought over his custody…

Spike loves him. Willow would give her life for him. And I would go through hell to make sure he's safe. I can't put him though the painful ripping my parents made me go through; I love him too much…

And I couldn't stand you to lose the happiness you had with Darla because of me either… So I took really bad decision, like every other teenager does. And I'm sorry, I realize I hurt you badly, and if rectifying this mess, helps to lull all that fury a bit, then I rectify, I'm sorry, Angel. I really am; I should've told you we had a baby…

I should've have trusted you to show responsibility instead of just assuming you wouldn't. I'll never assume anything about your actions or your feelings ever again."

"You screwed me up. And you know what you did was cruel. And you also know I will never forgive you, no matter how many times you tell me how sorry you are. You know rectifying it now is nothing, because it can't give me back ten years of your life, years I deserved to share with you and my son."

"I know. I understand, I can't even ask you to be my friend now, after all you've done for me," Angel took Buffy's hands between his own, they were cold and clammy, she was very upset.

"No. I will never be _just_ that….How is this thing with Patrick going to work?"

"We can't tell him the truth…not yet at least. I've decided we should wait until he's older, so he can choose if he wants to change his name, but he should get to know you," That hurt Angel even more, he wanted the world to now he had a son with Buffy, he wanted to shout it from the rooftops, announce it on the New York Times, etc.

"He's my son, my _only _son, and heir. He's sitting on a lot money, which I'm sure you comprehend you're sitting onto as well," Buffy felt insulted, she wasn't a gold digger.

"You are wrong. I never wanted anything to do with your money. I loved you, for you. That's one of the other reasons I never said anything, I knew Darla and Faith would have said I did it only to get a piece of your money, to trap you with our son, and you know what? I never even thought of it. If anything, I knew Faith would've made his life impossible, reminding him he was a bastard all the time,"

"I wouldn't have let them! …Tell me what other reasons you had,"

"I was underage, I couldn't make any decisions concerning another minor, Giles became my dad, so he could use his influence to get me the scholarship and the jobs I had at the University over the years. A trial for the custody over a child was definitely something to draw attention. Plus, I didn't have a spare penny. Everything I had, had a purpose and all I made was already owned before I even made it…"

"I understand that, Buffy." She continued with her tirade.

"The reasons why I got so skinny, and sick the last years were that: I hardly ever ate well, or slept a full night. I always had something to do, somewhere to go, bills to worry about. And your son wasn't exactly a picnic either, he was demanding, obstinate and strong-minded all the time… Just like you are.

He changed daycares three times before he even was a year old. And he also ate like a sponge, anything and everything in sight. That's why he's so tall for his age. He's the tallest of the class. He's a regular bully too…

He's a much cherished boy, Angel; he's always been… and every time I look at him, I see you … and _it kills me._"

"It should …sit down please; you're setting my teeth on edge!" Buffy had been pacing the room again. In that phrase, Angel had turn into Patrick perfectly, without even knowing him. Or had it been the other way around? Buffy couldn't really fool genetics. Patrick was all Angel's, he had nothing of her.

"You have no idea how hard it's been to raise him, it's been just so…" Angel took Buffy's hand between his own again, stopping her mindless pacing around, taking a deep breath before speaking, he was still so awfully upset.

"Listen up …I wanna be here with you—_the both of you_—even if I can't understand why you did what you did, I still accept your situation was very difficult, it still is. I want to meet my son, have a relationship with him, but, I want to have a relationship with _you too_…

I hate your guts right now. But, it doesn't mean I love you any less. Mostly, because you took an awful lot of risk having that baby to begin with, and then raising him so bravely on your own; I'm just awed that you did so much _without me.._.

Now, I need to _ask_ you, to do it, but, this time _with me_. Would you please?"

"I don't understand." Angel looked intently at Buffy's eye, stood up, grabbed her face between her hands and then kissed her on the lips. She was caught absolutely by surprise, not even responding to the kiss.

"You are still so innocent, my love. …I want us to get married and finish raising that boy together; I think you forgot how catholic I am. Because I just can't _accept _my son to go-on like a bastard for the rest of his life. I want—actually—I _need_ to be his dad."

"He believes Spike is his dad."

"He'll believe that until his older, but, eventually he'll become an O'Quinn, no matter what …and so will you."

"I don't know what to say! You've lost your mind!"

"There's nothing else you can say, I understand this is news to you, Buffy. But, I want you to be safe, and protected from everything and anything, both you and Patrick. You're mine and I won't just let go on helpless like that! I'm gonna do what I should have done ten years ago."

"Angel! You can't be serious."

"I'm very serious about this. We are going to get married. And we are going to raise _our son_ together. And there's nothing else I want to hear from you about that anymore. We'll make a clean slate for this. You and I are together now, for better or for worse, and that's it."

"I guess I'll have to deal with that,"

"Yes, you will …Buffy Anne O'Quinn." Before Buffy could start dealing with it, he kissed her again; keeping her tightly pressed to his body, even if she wasn't mentally ready to accept it, she would feel how resolved he was about her. She was his lover, his soul mate and the mother of his child too, and he meant to show her how much that meant for him.

ZZZ It will continue on chapter 7 part C…ZZZ

**Chapter 7 part C**

**All that would have been but wasn't**

**ZZZ**

Shock didn't quite cover it. Surprise felt shortly. It was something like astonishment. Buffy just couldn't believe what had happened to her that day. She was telling it to Spike, and she still couldn't believe it. Angel had definitely lost his mind.

"He's going to marry you? How is that going to work?"

"I don't know, Spike. I really don't know."

"Does it feel better…you know, to finally have it out of your chest?"

"I feel as though I have run for days and then I stopped not knowing were I was or why I was running in the first place."

"That lost then? …wait, you are getting married. What about Pea?"

"He—Angel—wants to make him an O'Quinn."

"He's _my_ son!"

"I told him we can't just tell him that! He's only a boy and he will never understand what happened."

"I will not let him. He can't erase ten years of Patrick's life like that!"

"We'll see what happens. For the moment, I told him I had to think about his idea. I know I have to work out a plan to introduce him to Pea and let him understand he's going to be his stepfather. I want to wait until he's 18 to tell him the truth, right now, it just isn't a possibility."

"This is the reasonable thing to do, under the circumstances. Don't you think? He's too small to understand the truth."

"I know."

"So, what did you two do last night?" Buffy didn't answer. The blush that suddenly came to her cheeks was more than foretelling.

"It was like that then? You are a slut!" Spike said it playfully. Laughing as he shook his head with disbelief. He knew how much she still loved Angel. Love _like that_ didn't just go away, especially when she saw him in his son's eyes every day.

"Shut up! You've done way worse than that."

"But I'm a guy; I get to behave like an asshole as many times as I want."

"You keep doing that and you'll end up all alone."

"That's bloody fine with me, besides, I don't have time for a wife anyway, why bother with a sodding girlfriend?"

"You just wait, one of these days, somebody is going to knock you down, and then you'll be _begging_ her to be with you!"

"Well, if you find her before me, send her off. I really don't want a Mrs. Frazer in my life right now."

"Ok. I'm going to go and get something to eat, I'll see you later." She didn't kiss him on the cheek, or even pad him on the shoulder; she just left, with a funny expression on her face too. She would probably never touch Spike deliberately again, now he knew he was thoroughly done, if he had ever stood a chance.

"Goodbye, Buffy. I guess I'll se you later?"

Spike had been about to talk her out of whatever decision she had made about Angel, but, Buffy was smarter than that, and left him courteously alone before he could start anything. She wanted to keep her feelings to herself. Spike sensed her tautness and gave her that space. Although, he wanted to know what had happened between Buffy and Angel that night very much; he accepted he probably never would…

Buffy had the reddest love bite he had ever seen on her neck. He didn't need any more explanations. Angel was back for good.

Spike wasn't exactly happy. But, he had known from the beginning it would happen one day. Buffy was meant to tell Angel the truth, _eventually_. Now something else was the matter. Spike loved Pea; he had always been his daddy. He definitely did not want to uncover the lie he had lived inside for nine years. Because that would mean he really didn't have a family, and all the years of hopes and platonic love he had shared with Buffy and Patrick, had been that: only a dream.

**ZZZ**

Angel had bought the house he had so happily foreseen sharing with Buffy the day after his major change of life, paying a hefty sum of money for it, but, something that was a very good price for the location and conditions of the property. He had a reason to stay in New York then. There had been hardly any repairing to do to it. So, he gathered his things together, bought some basic furniture and moved out of the hotel, and into it; he got deadly drunk on his first night home, Angel had gathered all of his hopes, regrets and fears together and had started working a plan to get Buffy and Patrick with him by Christmas. For that, he had to call one of his best friends and Financial Advisor: Charles Gunn, he had suggested many helpful tactics, and they had worked up a plan.

Then Angel had told Gunn to make a will, where he left everything to Buffy, and also to prepare something for her to make a fortune of her own—Just in case he didn't die of a hangover the day after. Gunn agreed, if reluctantly. He knew nothing about this Buffy. So he asked questions, and Angel told him the truth, that shocked him even more. Then, Angel asked him to put a surveillance team on them. He had been threatened with kidnapping several times on his life. And when word got out he had those two weaknesses on him. They would become vulnerable and prey to criminals. And he wanted them safe as houses.

Angel was still very much aggravated, and every five seconds or so he would remember how different his life had become _because of Buffy_, and some ten seconds later he would remember how she had made him feel on his hotel room, _all night long_. And he would shudder to think what he wouldn't do to convince her to actually marry him, and t_hat was practically anything_.

It wasn't just his Irish-Catholic duty; it was love and goddamn stubbornness too. He would not let her get away from him again! Not now, when he knew the tragic love story they had written together; now that she wasn't only his long lost love but the mother of his only child as well.

Some five long days after Angel had found out about his son, he made a date to see pictures of Patrick with Buffy. And just the thought of it made him terrified. Patrick would not be there, but, it didn't mean Angel wouldn't be nervous.

Angel still loved Buffy madly. Some of that bone deep passion had twisted into fury for her actions, he hated her for her choices, but he understood how difficult it had been for her. And at the same time, he knew he was dying without her, he was miserable, grumpy, unsatisfied, sad …and very lonely too. He was just a ball of confused feelings rolling downhill towards Buffy. Not knowing where to go, what to do, or what to say.

**ZZZ**

"I thought Friday's was fine." Buffy and Angel had met in one the famous food chain restaurants, it was Monday; so Buffy's birthday celebration had already happened. Angel hadn't been invited. Both Buffy and Willow had thought it was too soon, and much too crowded for their first father-son meeting.

"It is, don't worry. We ain't here for the food anyway,"

"No, we aren't. Let me help you with that," Buffy had her arms loaded with all the photo albums she had of their son.

"Thank you." The biggest album fell open on the first page. It was a picture of Buffy 9 months pregnant, day before she had had Patrick Daniel. It said: Christmas Eve 1996.

Angel actually stopped breathing when he saw the picture. She had been so very obvious, i_f he had only seen her once_, in the picture she was standing on her pajama tops next to the window. It was an early snow. She was seeping a hot beverage, with her profile turned to the camera. Her small cotton top barely covered anything.

Her belly had been fair and perfect. No stretch marks at all, a perfect milky white moon full of baby. Angel felt he could almost touch it through the picture.

She had long blonde tresses, and rosy cheeks back then. Her Face had only been slightly swollen by the last days of pregnancy. She had developed idyllically perfect big breasts. And her skin had turned buttery, the color of pink gold. She had looked just _beautiful_. She had been staring with a dreamy smile at the snow. What sort of wonderful and peaceful thoughts could she had been thinking when that picture was taken that it showed so clearly on her face!

Angel was taken. He wanted to drown in that picture. He sat down on the chair and grabbed the bulk of albums from her, laying them about on their table, opening the first page on all five of them. It was a perfect succession: The pregnancy, the first year, the daycare, the kindergarten and first day of school.

Buffy and Patrick had been together in all of them. Buffy had actually never done that herself. It had seemed almost purposely prepared. As if she had chosen the first picture of each album to match that day. She thought some lucky coincidences were just fortune bound.

He decided to start viewing them in order, living through them as if he had been there.

"Was it a difficult pregnancy?"

"No. Not really. Actually, it was really easy,"

"You didn't have any symptoms, no complications then?" Angel was struggling to recreate all those memories he didn't have but could imagine in his head.

"Nope, no nausea, no dizziness, no fainting, no peeing all the time. No cravings. Nothing. All I knew is that I stopped having periods…and that I _gained weight,_" he could see himself finding out about the baby, going crazy with joy and then marrying her, they would have lived in a small apartment near school, so she didn't have to stop studying, he would've made sure she was fine, would've taken her to the finest doctors, make sure his baby and his love were healthy.

"That's great—so extraordinary!—How about your heart? You didn't get arrhythmias?" He would've made love to her every night; taken her to Hawaii on their honeymoon, bought her all the things she wanted it there, he would've postponed medical school a year or two, so they could be together, the three of them, so they could've shared their son as he was growing up.

"Not once! I got tired the last month or so. He was kind of big, so sitting and standing wasn't exactly comfortable. But, I never had to go the ER. We were both fine throughout the whole thing." He probably would have gone to Lamaze with her, learn how to breathe correctly and all those things. He would've been obsessed about her safety, making sure she never got into any dangerous situations.

"You were so lucky! Why did you get a c-section then?"

"_You saw the scar_. I thought you hadn't…well, he was heads-up. Umbilical cord all tangled around his neck. So doctors decided they couldn't try to rotate. They had to cut me open," he would've been there when his son was born; holding her hand, making sure she was fine all the time. And he would've cried the moment his son came to the world, the moment he realized he was the spitting image of him.

"It was wise of them. He could have died from that. Did you actually go into labor? Or was it all planned?" He would've done so many things, but now it was all a wonder, nothing else.

"Yeah, I went through labor alright! That was a small hell of its own. Let me tell you about it:

It was Christmas day. 7:30 in the morning. I woke up, started walking to the bathroom, felt a little pain on the lower back, and bam, on the middle of the room, burst my water all over the floor. I actually felt a popping sound, and well, you know what happened after that, contraptions started, I was home alone. Spike was on call. Giles was in England. Willow wasn't available. And it the street was closed so I couldn't call a cab or an ambulance. He came three weeks early!"

"My God, What did you do, then?" He would have carried her to hospital on his arms if he had been there.

"I walked! I putted on my coats, knee-high boots, and baggy maternity jeans. Made a little handbag with my clothes and girls stuff I wound need in the hospital…and _walked_. It took me an hour and a half to walk ten blocks to the nearest hospital. I don't think I ever viewed snow the same way. I had to stop a million times just to _breathe_, it was cold, snow was slippery, and walking was the most uncomfortable thing to do in the world. I didn't like you much that day, I'll tell you that."

"And then?"

"I arrived at the hospital. They did a sonogram, find out he was all wrong for natural birth, bad presentation, cord tangled and all that, so they started preparing me for surgery, he was born at 10 am …seven pounds two ounces of screaming beauty."

"He was that big! Where you happy it was a boy? Coming to think of it, why did you name him Patrick Daniel?" He though he would've named him differently, maybe Connor, like his dad.

"I was really happy. I was just _delirious_ with him. I couldn't believe how healthy and beautiful he was. I called him like that because I wanted something Irish."

"That's _too_ Irish actually. But, it's ok. It's a good solid name, except they may call him _patty_ at school,"

"Let them try! Last guy who teased him had a black eye. And Patrick was four then!"

"Wow, you're braver than I thought. So Spike wasn't with you?" Buffy sighed; Angel would never get that thorn out of his paw.

"Nope. Nobody was. Just me, and the doctors, and the nurses of course," Angel had stopped watching the pictures, listening intently to Buffy's explanation. But, then he resumed. Coming to a halt on another picture he was taken by.

"Who took this one?" It was Buffy in bed with Patrick. She was asleep with the baby clutched to her breast. The light had been dim and the image of them together breathed intimacy. Mother and child caught in loving embrace. It was shortly after birth because she still had her belly wrapped up in bandages and the little boy had the fragile, boneless look, newborns have.

"_Mom_…she came home the week after. She stayed with us until Valentine's Day. Everybody was working, and I didn't really have experience with a baby. So she came. She taught me how to do it. She was really nice. She was even happy. _Not disappointed with me anymore,_" Buffy had turned dreamy remembering those days her eyes had become shiny with unshed tears. She had never been closer to her mom than those days. Dawn had stayed home with Hank. And Buffy have had Joyce all to herself.

Angel kept going through the pictures, coming up later with the first close-up picture of his son. He had been stunning, with round cheeks, dark chestnut hair, and the biggest, prettiest honey brown eyes he had ever seen. He had been smiling a toothless grin to the camera. Angel felt very humble all of the sudden. That was the most enchanting baby he had ever seen. Nothing to do with the fact he was his firstborn.

"God he really did look like me!" Angel thought he would've loved to be there, when Buffy first breastfed, when the baby cried in the middle of the night, when she wanted to sleep and couldn't, when she had to change a dirty diaper or even when she was just watching over him.

"_Duh_! I've been saying that over and over and again! …Wait, you haven't seen true likeness yet," Buffy kept skipping through the pages: his first steps, his first word—_fish_—Buffy still didn't know why he had said that, then when he first said 'Mommy', his first tooth and everything else that happened the first year of his life.

She stopped at a zoo picture. It was him and Buffy. Patrick had been two years old then. He was straddling a goat and looking mightily pissed at his mom. A dazzling Buffy was holding him sitting on top of the filthy animal. It was the animal farm. And Patrick had never liked goats after that day. The little baby goat had pooped on his brand new shoes! Buffy giggled just remembering that.

"Damn."

"_Exactly_. If I had ever had doubts of his paternity…well that would've cleared them." Angel then kept going forward. He did tend to brood. And frown. And show temper. But, to know it was genetic, well that was something else. He would've loved discovering that on his own, how much they were alike, and not just physically.

Then came the older pictures where Buffy was getting sicker. He noticed how thin and pale she started getting through the years, her graduation from college. And then the Christmas following that, she had been shrinking away.

"How old was he here?" The first day of school was famous. Patrick had showed much more of Angel's resemblance by then: the tallness, the width of the shoulders, the spiky hair, the deep brow, the strong nose and the firm mouth. He was a miniature Angel by then.

"Seven! Wasn't he just handsome? He came home with _five_ crayola drawings of his new girlfriends. Teacher _Vanessa_. Teacher _Andrea_. Teacher _Monica_, and two of the prettiest girls on the class, Rebecca and Kirsten, _the twins _…he was a playboy then, and he still is; you can't imagine how many girls call looking for Patrick every year. He's very popular, _kinda take after his father, _right, _Doctor Mac Dreamy_?" Buffy loved Grey's Anatomy.

"Shut up! Besides, he must have _something_ of you!" Yet something else he would've loved seeing, Buffy discovering how much she loved that baby and how fine he was growing up despite all their difficulties.

"I haven't found it yet, let me know if you do."

"Sure… he's got …he's gotta to have something of you somewhere."

"Thank God. _No._ He has nothing. He's all yours. He's healthy as an Irish lad."

"Is he any good at school?"

"Very good, but he's temperamental, _like you know who_, so he's in trouble often. But, he's not bad. He's just a bully. He's my own little trouble maker,"

"He'll calm down. I was like that too at that age. He'll eventually become…"

"What? Serene and malleable? I don't see that happening anytime soon. He's as he is. He can tone it down a bit. But he will never be a flexible kid. After all, he's an O'Quinn. You are not exactly famous for your gentleness and peacefulness." Angel thought that Patrick probably needed a stronger fatherly figure, Spike sounded good in paper but if Patrick was anything like him, he would be a handful to anybody with a weak personality.

"No. I guess not—this picture is beautiful, I wanna keep it." Angel was looking at a very recent picture. Buffy's birthday party, that very same week. Patrick and Buffy had been standing together over the cake, both their faces pressed very closely, both smiling, singing happily.

"Ok. I guess you can keep it; I'm going to go to the ladies room. I'll be right back." As Buffy left the table, Angel took the pictures he had liked the most out the frames. He wanted to take them home, built his own picture stand.

He took the one where Buffy was gazing at the window, the one where she was breastfeeding, some close ups on Patrick's face over the first years, the goat picture and Buffy's birthday party.

He stashed them under the table and into his briefcase before Buffy could return. He closed all the albums and ordered something to eat. He felt ravenous all of the sudden.

"Hey, I was thinking of going there to check on you. You ok?" Angel even wondered if he and Buffy would have had more children by then, ten years of separation between siblings seemed too much for him, or maybe she couldn't have any more kids, he would certainly not recommend it to her as a doctor, her heart could most possible not stand it, not before the transplant at least.

"Yeah, it's just _that_ time of the month." No, he wouldn't have put her through another risky pregnancy; he would have made sure she was safe above all things, perhaps they would have surrogated, if she had wanted more children, or even adopted.

"Oh, My God!—I mean—it's good, you shouldn't get pregnant now. It would be awfully risky. You sure you are ok?"

"Yeah, it's ok. I took the day after pill. I want no surprises there." Angel didn't want more surprises either; those he had received already were more than enough.

"Me neither. I'm sorry I didn't ask you about that earlier."

"It's ok. You had a lot on your mind lately. What have you've got there?"

"Oh! I almost forgot this. I bought you a portfolio. Let me show what it is,"

"Why did you buy me this?"

"It's an investment. You said you wanted to pay me back. But, you ain't got a dime of your own. So, I made you something. This contains a hundred thousand dollars worth of great stocks. This will—according to financial experts—make you rich in a few years."

"I can't take that!"

"Sure you can. It's not money. It's an asset, for your future. Once you're filthy rich, you can pay me back all the money I loaned you,"

"Why do you keep throwing your money at me? Am I a _beggar _now?"

"No, Buffy. Don't take it like that. I want to give you this. Because: you need it. It's a good thing. And it's also for Patrick. And it's nothing to me! I have a lot of money on the bank. What do you think this is to me? It's like a hundred dollars bill for me. You can't say no."

"When did _you_ become so rich?"

"I made a fortune of my own with stocks many years ago. Right now I just keep them. I don't juggle with them anymore. And I have Dad's money. I sold the company and kept only the funds, re-invested it, and kept working on what I really liked. You know I was never really meant to build boats."

"What about Darla, doesn't she get half?"

"Nope, _thank God_, no. She signed a pre-nuptial agreement. I was never that stupid around her,"

"Good for you, _I guess_… I didn't know you ordered food." The burgers he had ordered had arrived.

"I was starving!"

"Listen, I got tickets to go to the Yankees game this Saturday. I told Patrick I was bringing a date. You wanna come?"

"I'd love to." His first father-son meeting, Angel could hardly contain his feelings.

"Good. We'll go then, I'm gonna take the stocks, but just for Patrick. But, I don't want you buying anything else to me, ever again. It's insulting, and patronizing. I don't need, and _I don't want_ your money. I want you, plain _you_, and that's it."

"I swear. Eat your meal now. It's getting cold." She didn't like him to think he could buy affection with money. Because: he couldn't, At least not Buffy's or Patrick's.

**ZZZ**

Towards the end of the date, Buffy wondered if Angel was ever going to bent his knee and give her a ring, or just set the date to the marriage, and do it. She wanted a romantic proposal, not something out of obligation. Buffy wanted romance. Even though she knew it would be hard for him to overcome the impasse.

He was all business that night, not touching or kissing Buffy ever, keeping physical distance between them, and barely looking at her in the eyes.

But, it was because she had been gorgeous, and he wanted her so badly, he could hardly contain himself from taking her home, and fucking her in his kitchen. But, the thing was, he wanted Buffy to come to him. Not the other way around. He wanted her to give the first step. He didn't want a marriage out of obligation either, but he wouldn't force intimacy on her either.

He decided to keep himself tight about his plan. He would get her by Christmas. He just needed to adjust to his new life first. Get acquainted with Patrick. Gain confidence with him. Gain Buffy's trust again, and then…she'll be his forever, just like he had always wanted her to be.

Or at least that's what he thought was going to happen to them, boy was he mistaken!

ZZZ **The end of chapter 7 ….ZZZ**

**This isn't the end, but I need reviews, if you want me to continue then tell me, it's already written but I won't post it until I hear something from the readers.**

**The mean Kitten.**


	9. Chapter 9

An: thank you Sylvia, I changed the title of this chapter to fit your post, I really like "Best laid plans" better! Smooches.

Warning: this is a very long chapter; it's divided in two smaller pieces, in case you get tired of reading! I just can't seem to write a small chapter in this story! I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter 8A**

**Best laid plans**

**ZZZ**

Do you know what folks say about god intentions? Well, they are right, they sure pave the way to hell. Angelus O'Quinn and Buffy Anne Summers weren't aware of how bad things could get in just a few days…

_**The meeting **_

_**(Flashback to October 2005) **_

"_Well, Angel… this is Patrick Daniel, he's my son." Angel extended his hand to his son politely. _

"_Hello, Patrick!" said Angel as Buffy smacked her son playfully on the shoulder, Patrick didn't shake back the hand, he just stood there, glaring at his biological father._

"_This is the schmuck that broke into our apartment the other day." Patrick wasn't asking a question, he was making a statement._

"_He's a friend of mine, Pea. Be a polite boy—like I've taught you to be— say hi."_

"_Buffy, there's no need, we aren't here for that, let's just go get our sits." Angel didn't want to open warfare between his son and him, but Buffy seemed bent on pushing them into open confrontations; Patrick remained glaring for a while, he didn't like Angel one tiny bit, and he didn't care about what Buffy wanted either._

"_We are going to go home if you don't do as I told you." Confronted by his mother's harsh, cold, stare, and her obvious threat, Patrick complied, shaking Angel's hands just a little bit harder than usual._

"_Hi, Angel! It's very nice to meet you!" said Patrick rather sardonically. _

"_It's a pleasure to meet you too, Patrick. I'm sorry if I scared you the other day… your mother gave me her key, she needed something from home, and I offered to fetch it." _

"_You broke in; I thought you were going to raid us." Buffy wasn't living in a very good neighborhood; thieves were pretty common in that area, especially if you were to consider Patrick was left home-alone very often._

"_I'd never do that, next time I drop by, I'll be sure to knock on your door first… actually, I thought nobody else was there, so it was my bad, it won't happen again."_

"_Then you were planning to go snooping around my house! … Are you and mom dating?" Angel swallowed hard, maybe Buffy had done this very same thing before? Maybe she was dating other men besides him?_

"_He's my friend, Patrick."_

"_Right. So he's the reason you didn't come home that night? Auntie Willow called at two in the morning, asking for you…" Buffy had said she was going to be out, clubbing with Willow and Tara all night, too bad she had forgotten to check in with the girls during the night._

"_It doesn't matter, Angel. Patrick is just been his usual caustic self, we are not going to pay attention to him, let's just sit and watch the game… we'll talk about this when you and I get home." That meant that Patrick was probably going to get grounded, perhaps Buffy will suspend his X-box for a few days; he was being rude and overbearing, like he usually was. Buffy had in fact dated other men before Angel, but none of them had meant a thing to her, she was too busy with her family and her work to get involve in a serious relationship._

"_Ok, you are the boss… can I get you guys anything… a soda, a pretzel, a hot dog?" said Angel, trying to appease the tempers, Patrick was about to send Angel to buy a whole load of food he didn't mean to eat but Buffy glared back at him, the boy was not going to ruin that day._

"_They'll come by later, the hot dog guy and the beer, so why don't you sit over here and we'll just watch the game." Buffy said as she sat Patrick to her right and Angel to her left, as if she wanted them to have the smallest amount of contact possible._

"_He's a good boy, he's just on the defensive side; I can understand that myself, I'd be like that too." Angel laced his fingers with Buffy over the arm holder as he whispered his thoughts, her hands were cold and clammy to his touch, she was probably having a bad time, but she had promised Angel that they would have a first meeting. Patrick didn't like what he saw, his mom holding hands with the schmuck rubbed him the wrong way._

"_Don't go making excuses for him, Angel, there's no need. I knew this was going to happen." That silenced Angel alright, he didn't need to make excuses, his son was a lot like him, so he would probably be rude to every suitor his mom had, including his biological father. And he was also spoiled, constantly used to getting his way, only son and all that, confrontation was more than expected, it was practically necessary; Patrick needed to be reminded who was in charge of the situation._

"_I just… I don't like seeing you suffer, Buffy. I don't want to cause you any pain, if you think this is wrong, we'll try something else, I can see that you are uncomfortable, and then so am I… Do you want to go home?" Buffy considered what to say to him, she was uncomfortable, tired, hungry and nervous, not to mention she hated baseball; the father-son meeting had been bugging her for days._

"_That's not necessary, why don't we just try to get along… I'll go get something to eat, and maybe this whole game will look nicer after some heavy fat and some booze… in fact, why don't I go get us some pizza and beer. Wouldn't that be nice?" _

"_I'm worried about your habits… every time we go out, there's alcohol involved. Are you sure you should be drinking that often?" _

"_He's right, mom. You shouldn't be drinking like that, you are gonna get sick again." For once, Patrick and Angel had found-out the common link between then, they both cared a lot about Buffy._

"_Fine, you dads! I'll go get some coke. You two stay here; I'll be back in a while." Patrick and Angel stared at each other for about five seconds, and then the Yankees made a homerun, and everyone was just jumping up and down with joy, their previous hardness forgotten in the name of the game._

_Buffy waited as long as she humanly could to get back to her chair, when she returned she noticed Angel had scooted over, Patrick and him were discussing players, so perhaps, after all the hardship, they would become friends, even if just for the game; that was all Buffy wanted to see, Patrick and Angel getting friendly, then maybe one day, not so far away, she would risk telling her son … who was his real father. _

**ZZZ**

**December 22****nd****, 2005 (current time)**

**Stolen Dreams**

Three full months and two weeks had gone by since Buffy's surgery, and Angel added yet another picture to his memory stand. He had all the pictures he had surreptitiously obtained from Buffy, about her pregnancy, and the first years of Patrick's life. And more recently, he had the pictures of their first meetings. The Yankee game they had seen as a family, their visit to the World's Auto Show, later that month, their trip to Canada over the last weekend, and Patrick's Christmas Show at school that very same week. They were all on display in his bedroom; Angel had built a small shrine with all those things.

That weekend Gunn, Fred, and Wesley were coming over. Angel was going to do open-house for his friends. He was celebrating that his divorce had finally been completed. He had given Darla a lovely check for ten million dollars, and seen her off. He had accepted to pay her alimony for ten thousand dollars a moth, since she wasn't really working. And that had been it, as far as Angel was concerned. He was free as the wind, ready to start planning his up-coming nuptials with Buffy.

Problem was: his relationship with Buffy had cooled down to the point of subzero. They were dating now as an excuse to get Angel and Patrick together, and it never worked, the boy was unfriendly to Angel…and then some. In fact, his hatred for Angel grew stronger as time went by.

More to the point, Patrick had gone as far as to actually ask Buffy how long she would be dating the schmuck. Buffy had said, she didn't know, probably a long time. And that had rubbed Patrick the wrong way. He had never asked about Angel again. It was a lot like Patrick to seethe quietly and await for the perfect time to strike back, Buffy could tell her son had something going on inside his pretty little head.

Coming closer to Patrick's birthday, Angel had wanted to throw him a big party at his new house, since he had a lake and plenty of room for a party, Buffy had agreed although she had some reservations. It would be a good opportunity to bond. So, they were throwing him a party for the Sunday December 25th and Patrick had invited all of his friends. That also seemed to Buffy like the perfect opportunity for Patrick to misbehave.

But before all that could take place, Angel had prepared something for Buffy. He had invited Buffy—alone—to his home inauguration to they could talk freely, and maybe even start some sparks again. He had prepared a lovely surprise for her…come midnight, by the beautiful lake view; he was going to propose to her.

Angel had invited all his friends to stay through the weekend with him, since the traffic was awful, and his house was near Catskill, far an away from the city's stress, full of clean, fresh air, and beautiful trees, there was no point driving all the way back on Saturday. It was far easier to stay and wait 'til Sunday afternoon. And he had redone all the rooms, made them more stylish and comfortable, added fireplaces, TVs, new beds and modern furniture. He had hired a maid service, and a chef. And essentially, he had prepared everything so his guests would be comfortable, some more comfortable than others, ie Buffy had the best room, conveniently next to his.

He had It all planned to: take Buffy to the lake, propose to her and then to celebrate big time after the dutiful announcement to all of his friends, but the reality was going to be slightly different…

**ZZZ**

"Are you ready?" Angel was picking Buffy up at Willow's place Friday afternoon.

"Almost. Let me just say Goodbye to Pea." The boy was zapping on the TV, terribly bored, and angry because his mommy was staying three days with Angel, right before Christmas, which was coincidentally his birthday. It didn't matter that Angel had done everything within his power to convince him he was good for his mom. He just plainly didn't like him. Patrick liked the idea of using him to get what he wanted, but, he didn't like the idea of sharing his mommy with him.

"I'm leaving. You be good. Don't do anything stupid. You listen to your aunts. And behave! I warn you. You already got one too many spots on your record this year, don't force my hand on this, Patrick. You know how feel." Patrick had been showing classic teenager behavior, giving attitude to Buffy, Spike, the teachers and everybody else in his path. He had gotten bad grades and done detention three times in a week, something very abnormal for him, Buffy thought he was resenting all the attention Angel was been given over him, he thought it was like a contest between the two of them.

"I will, Mom." Spike was looking after him through the day, and Willow and Tara through the nights. He wasn't in school. So, it should be easier. He was going to go gift shopping with Willow and probably to his baseball practice with Spike. So, he had his days cut-out for him. Buffy wasn't worried about leaving him. He needed some time away from them, to cool his temper down, and think about his behavior.

Angel came inside the room after a courteous knock on the front door to get Buffy's luggage, Willow had gone to mini-market to get supplies for their weekend.

"Say Hello to Angel, Patrick." Buffy was leaving a few bills on the counter in case Patrick needed to buy take over.

"_Hello to Angel_." The boy didn't even bother to look at his father, he just waved his hand and said '_hello to Angel_' in a very bratty way.

"Get up." Buffy wasn't pleased with Patrick's attitude.

"It's ok, Buffy. We'll see each other Sunday." Said Angel conciliatorily, he seemed stuck on the role of the peacemaker between the two of them, when in fact he was the one causing the war to begin with.

"I said: get up! I'm talking to you. Get up…_now._" Buffy yanked him by the shirt and stood him up from the sofa. He was nearly as tall as her. And she was in heels. Buffy glared at him. Patrick rolled his eyes, but complied.

"Hello, Angel…it's nice to see you again." Patrick said through his teeth.

"That's better…what else?"

"Thank you."

"For what, Patrick?" asked Angel, the boy was being roughly polite, if such a thing was possible.

"For lending your house for my party."

"And…" continued Buffy as she glared at the boy once again.

"And kindly paid for it!" Patrick glared right back at Buffy. She'd had drilled that speech into her son with a lot of coercion.

"Your welcome…it was entirely my pleasure. I'll take care of your mom now. Have fun. See you Sunday."

"Fine."

"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" Patrick let Buffy kiss him reluctantly. He didn't like the humbling gesture, but, he took it none the less.

"Bye, Mom. I'll see you Sunday morning."

"Take care, Pea …if anything happens, you call me. I have my cellphone on _all day._" It was the phone Angel had given her. She had kept it. It was a really cute phone, and she needed it very much.

**ZZZ**

"Home sweet home. Here we are, baby. I hope you like it." The property was called: "Thread of Hearts". Just the drive-through entrance was big: a straight road of about half a mile of cobble-covered roads, trees sheltering the view to both sides, and the lake overpowering the sun set on the distance. The house was shadowed in a shelter of tall pines and willows that covered the property with fallen leaves and tree howls, the kind forests do on the windy nights of December.

"You weren't kidding about the forest part." Buffy was awestruck. She had seen what looked like a doe on the far upper east side of the property, right by the edge of the lake. And once the house was in view, she actually gasped. It seemed Angel had captured her dream…_exactly_.

"You like it?"

"Do I like it? Are you kidding me? You pulled a page out of my mind!" Angel parked the car on the front porch and let Buffy out. The house was _her dream_. The blue painting on the windows, the veranda, the 40s style, everything fitted her.

"Does it fit your description?"

"Like a blueprint."

"Come here, there's something else I want to show you," Angel handed Buffy a set of keys, and walked her to the back porch.

"Oh my God!" Angel had a brand new Mercedez SLR parked on the workshop. It was silver and it still had a bow on the hood.

"It was an '_I just got divorced_' purchase. I thought you might want to test-drive it with me." Buffy smacked Angel on the arm playfully.

"You devil! I thought we agreed on the 'no more presents' matter."

"It's not yours! It's _mine._"

"Still, I can deal with this. You stole my dream car _and_ my dream house too. And now you come rubbing it on my face! You are just plain mean, Angelus O'Quinn!"

"There's more stealing." Buffy kept the keys on her hand. She was itching to take that baby for a drive. But, there was something underneath that gesture. Angel leaded her to the kitchen. Was it all just an elaborate bribing?

"There's somebody I'd like you to meet," Angel opened the door and two little beasts came forward. A pair of Golden Retrievers puppies came running to them.

"Oh, Dear! Look at these two little cuties. Aren't you just pretty?" Buffy was smitten. She had always liked dogs. And living in a small apartment it was impossible to have them.

"I see you like them."

"I love them! Have you named them yet?" Buffy went down on her knees to stroke the puppies; they were a boy and a girl.

"I haven't …I was hoping you could help me with that." Two more people came inside the kitchen.

"You two should be Bingo …and Trixie!" Buffy picked one on the dogs up, and the puppy started licking her all over. They were smitten with her too.

"This is my girlfriend Buffy, these are: Larry the chef, and Kirsten the housekeeper chief. They will be handling your stuff, and making sure you are comfortable all the time" There were more people working at the house. But, Angel only knew them. So, he made sure to put emphasis on the fact that she was the boss's guest of honor, and should be treated accordingly.

"It's nice to meet you!" Buffy said to both of them as she placed the puppy back on the floor.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Buffy." Said Kirsten.

"Should I start dinner, Mister O'Quinn? Is there anything you might like in particular?" said the Chef as he rummaged through the pans and pots.

"You want something special, Buffy?"

"Anything you had planned it's fine with me."

"Do the first menu we talked about." It was a four course meal that contained: mushroom soup, Cesar salad, chicken brochettes and chocolate soufflé.

"Of course, dinner will be ready in two hours."

"It's time enough for that test drive, Buffy … if you are still up to it?"

"You bet! Let's go!" Buffy grabbed Angel by the hand, and they headed off to the garage.

**ZZZ**

"I can't believe you have this," later on Angel was showing Buffy his altar. With all the pictures and the memorabilia he had: the tickets, the souvenirs, everything he had gathered of their time together, and about his son.

"It's the first thing I see when I wake up…And the last one when I go to bed." There was a small sculpture of the Virgin Mary with the baby Jesus, and a rosary. Despite his time in Hollywood, and the negative influence of Darla's atheism, Angel was still deeply catholic. So much he had never married Darla under the eyes of God. Knowing deep down she wasn't meant to be with him for the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry…I don't how many times I've said it already. But, I really am. You should've known. I should've told you earlier."

"Don't worry. I've forgiven you. I wouldn't be catholic if I didn't. We both made a mistake. Now we have to move forward. I'm just thankful you finally told me, even if it was ten years later."

"Is it that simple?"

"It's not simple. I just accepted I couldn't change what happened. I could only look forward, and so I kept going. I'll never get that time back…but, I'll be damn if I let go wasting any second I have with these precious gifts God sent me… there's no one else Buffy, just you and Patrick, you are the only family I have, if I let anger dominate me, what do I have? Nothing, you two are all I have left is this world. My gift, loving you is making me a better man, maybe even a man worthy of being loved for something other than his money." Angel looked down at Buffy's face. She was beautiful, young and innocent-looking, unaware of how much Love Angel had to give her still, despite all the wrongness between them.

"Angel… I don't even know what to say. You know I don't care about the money; I love you because you've—because you are the man of my life! I've never loved anybody like I love you. I can't! It's always been you, you and no other… even if you find it hard to believe."

"I believe you now. We are meant to be together, but first we have to overcome all these obstacles, and we will overcome them… because we love each other. Right?"

"We will… I like that. 'The gifts God gave you' … it's very nice." Buffy looked up into Angel's eyes…and melted. He leaned closer, and she kissed him, coming together by the force of their gravitation.

"You are my gift, Buffy. _Mo bean_, you are my everything." She wrapped her arms around his neck and he hoisted her up, pushing her body closer to him, deepening the shallow kiss they had begun just seconds ago.

They had left the door open, and an annoying female voice came in and interrupted them.

"I'm sorry sir, the Windams are here." Announced Kirsten after she had disrupted Angel and Buffy, they separated slowly, still a little dazed from the kiss.

"Of course, I'll go down in a minute." Angel closed the door and went back to Buffy, colliding with her mouth in a fiery kiss. He would not let her go without a searing kiss on her lips. He meant to stimulate her through the night. So she would be more accepting to his proposal later.

"Where were we?" Said he as Buffy moaned when Angel's hand wrapped itself around her mane and his tongue went deeper into her mouth. He was ravishing her with his lips.

Angel sighed, feeling her body yield its stiffness to him, becoming softer and warmer as he kissed her. She was inching closer to the bed, and she knew damn well what he wanted.

"I want you so bad, Buffy." He pressed her onto the bed and Buffy fell softly. He covered her body with his and before he could go any further, there was another knock on the door.

"Who is it?" shouted Angel; he did not like people intruding on his intimacy.

"Mister Gunn has arrived sir, he requested you."

"I'll be downstairs…in a minute!" The maid left hurriedly, Angel had snapped at her.

"We'll be back here later…I promise you that!" He kissed Buffy again, tasting the deep recesses of her mouth, her breath smelled of cinnamon gum and her skin like vanilla fields, Angel felt like he would eat her alive if he could.

"You have to promise me that?"

"I need to, just to get me going through this day… I missed you a lot, I'm sorry if I forgot to say that before, no matter what happened between us, all I know is that I've missed you like the desert misses the rain…I can't wait to make love to you again. Let's go. I'm starving…" He meant it in a way that was not food related; he was hungry for her body and her soul.

**ZZZ**

"Gunn, this is Buffy Anne Summers… Buffy, this is my friend Gunn." Buffy shook hands with the tall, dark man, and dazzled him with a shinning smile. Charles Gunn could see what Angel had seen in her. She was sparkling, so full of life, and she was still a little flushed and giddy because of the interrupted lovemaking, so she had this air of unreserved sweetness that was to men like honey to the bees.

"It's so nice to meet you, Gunn!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Buffy; Angel has talked a lot about you." Angel led them both to the living room where Wesley and Fred were.

"Has he then, all good I hope—Doctor Wesley! It's so nice to see you again!" Said Buffy as she realized Fred and Wesley were the other couple invited. Fred came forward quicker and chirpier than usual and introduced herself. She had been dying to meet the famous Buffy Anne Summers for years.

"I'm Fred…we don't really know each other. I'm Wesley's wife. It's so great to finally meet you!" Fred hugged Buffy unaffectedly as the men watched them; they were skinny little wood nymphs, all hair and eyes, and lots of sweetness.

"Oh! It's a pleasure to meet _you_. Your husband it's a great doctor."

"Well, yours is one of the best too!" Buffy and Angel didn't know exactly what to say to that. It was obvious they were together. Fred thought Angel had proposed to her, he had heard something mentioned about Angel wanting Wesley to be his best man, and Buffy and Angel had come down holding hands, their body language had been very intimate; there had been no reason to think different.

"Thank you. We are not exactly engaged though." Said Angel, covering his distress, Fred wasn't exactly discreet.

"Nope, we are not like that, we are just getting to know each other" Buffy said evenly as she tried to dodge the subject.

"I thought you've gone to high school together." Buffy laughed nervously and Angel cleared his throat, and that gave them away. There was something serious going on between them, if not why had they bothered lying about their past?

"I trust you are feeling restored, Buffy?" said Wesley, breaking away from the uncomfortable silence. She hadn't seen him in several weeks.

"Much better, thank you for asking."

"Were you sick, baby?" asked Angel, becoming concerned, had Buffy been lying to him too? Maybe she was sick and she didn't want to tell him about it.

"No, it was nothing like that. Just a little frazzled, _you know why…_"

"Oh! …Would you all like something to drink? Dinner will be ready in a little while," Buffy had been terribly worried since she had _that talk_ with Angel about their son. It had taken a real toll on her to come out of the closet.

"Fred and I are having scotch."

"Gunn?"

"A beer will be fine with me."

"You know what I like…" Baileys, Buffy liked to drink the Irish cream before dinner, because of her sweet tooth, now Angel had it at hand all the time.

"Coming up, _sweetie._" Buffy shared an all-too-knowing smile with Angel; he called her like that since _that night_. When they had gotten drunk and made love over and over again. Was it all just different after the talk? Or were there embers still glowing in our midst?

"Why don't we take a tour down the house?" There definitely were. Angel had professed he loved her still. Buffy had sworn she had always loved him. Was it all just left in the background? Mere words to the wind. Or were they really and truly star crossed lovers, meant to silently love each other for the rest of their lives.

"Sure, let's start then." It was plainly, still a mystery.

"There you go. Scotch, a beer, and Bailey's." But there was a definite fire within.

"Let's do it from the top." The house Angel had bought had seven bedrooms, divided in three stories.

The upper most was a huge one room/ one bathroom space furnished in very sober colors. It was the second guest room. It could fit a small apartment in there. It had a bed, a vanity, a sofa, a TV set, a small fridge, a bookcase, a reading table and a cradle. In case one of his guests had a baby. Wasn't he just thoughtful? Could he be the one actually rocking a baby in it?

On the next story, there were four bedrooms. Angel's. Buffy's. Patrick's and the first Guest room. Angel's was the largest, overlooking the lake; it was furnished with mahogany wood. The bed had maroon covers, since it was Angel's favorite color. There was a huge bathtub, a walk-in closet, his large TV set, and his picture stand. Out of respect for Buffy, he didn't let his other guest see the pictures. Those were private. So, they went straight to the next bedroom.

Buffy's was right next to his—conveniently so—and it was decorated with chic furniture. There wasn't more than the bed, the TV and the night stand. He was letting Buffy do her own space. Of course Angel had never actually said who should be occupying the bedrooms eventually. He hadn't asked Buffy to marry him right then, so, all the bedrooms but his where fair game for the night. Still Buffy's things had been sent to that room. Just in case any body made the mistake of taking that room before her.

Gunn took the next one, which was supposed to be Patrick's and was decorated with sports paraphernalia.

Wesley and Fred took the intended guest room, it was large and comfortable, with a King-sized bed, natural wood color furniture, and exited to the balcony. Where Angel had set a Jacuzzi, pool chairs and tables, it was built-in, meant to be there before he even bought it, so all he had to do was put water in it. From the outside it was impossible to see it, since it was done to the back of the house. The front had windows that overlook the drive-in. So, The Windams would be the ones enjoying its adult entertaining qualities.

On the base level, there were two intended bedrooms turned workrooms. One was Angel's studio, and the other was the library. The rest was the kitchen, the first, and second living room, the dinning room, the porch, and the workshop, which had been turned into a large garage for that occasion.

It was definitely a big house.

"I'm going to check on the puppies." Said Buffy, she couldn't keep herself away from the beauties. They were held inside the laundry room or the kitchen most of the time, but, since there was so much activity on both, they were running about in the library.

"There you are! Trixie …and Bingo. Come here. You are so sweet!" Buffy went down to the floor and started playing with them again. Fred and Gunn joined her. Wesley wasn't exactly keen on dogs.

"They are just delightful, Angel. You must give us one when you breed them... by the way, you have a beautiful house!" Said Fred, it seemed that people were still a little reeled-up from work because nobody had mentioned how good Angel was at redecorating, maybe he was so good people though he had hired a professional.

"It's really nice, and large! Are you going be here all by yourself? I can tell this house must have been meant for a big family." Wesley was always the practical one.

"For now, eventually I'll find someone to keep me company…" Buffy acted like she hadn't heard it, like he wasn't talking about her and Patrick.

"It's big, but you'll have fun here, you've got your lake, and your dogs… you are probably going into early retirement!" joked Gunn as Angel looked a little stricken with Wesley's comment.

"Probably… not really, I have a lot to do still, so I'm still adjusting to New York… and I'm definitely not going into early retirement!"

"Ok, whatever you say, man! When you do breed the dogs, I'd like one too, they make great watch dogs." Said Gunn, a little more seriously than before.

"You are right, Gunn, they are great dogs, I think I'd like a pair too!" said Fred holding the female up in her lap, like it was a baby.

"Freddie, my Darling, I don't like dogs, you know that."

"These aren't dogs, Wes. They are _babies_!" Wesley swallowed hard, he knew what she meant, they had been married for six years, and Fred was drilling him to have a baby. Wesley thought they weren't prepared yet.

"They're Buffy's, so, you should really talk to her. I think dinner is ready, let's go sit down." Said Angel sort of closing up the argument, he liked dogs, but, he had bought them thinking of her. He would have preferred German Shepherds, but, Buffy found them threatening.

"Of course I'll give you one each. Let's just wait until they grow and see if they liked each other." In that moment Kirsten came to announce the first course been served.

**ZZZ**

Later on, Angel had played the piano for his guests, _"It happened in Monterrey"_ _"Strangers in the night"_ and _"New York, New York"_ since he had Sinatra's melodies on book. The stellar night had ended at the lake. Buffy and Angel had remained behind after everyone had gone to bed…

"I trust you liked everything, Baby?"

"More than you can imagine, your house is so beautiful, I really like it, you'll have fun living here…" they were sitting down by the water, on the ducks, their bodies pressed close, side by side, watching the moon play over the water.

"I hope so… Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"You could bring me down the moon."

"I can't … _not yet at least._ But, I'll work on it." Buffy leaned closer to Angel, and they kissed, coming together at the same time.

"I'm having so much fun here…I wish I didn't have to leave,"

"You don't have to, not yet... We've still got two days ahead of us,"

"I know I'm just tired; I don't mean leaving the house, I mean going to sleep. I wish I could stay awake, so this day could keep happening…" Buffy leaned her head on Angel's shoulder as she spoke. Feeling drowned to him by invisible forces. Her eyes were closing of their own volition; she hadn't slept a full night in weeks, worried about Patrick and Angel and her mom, and everything else that seemed so pressing.

"Day isn't over yet… Shall we go to bed now?"

"Yeah, I should go to bed… alone, this is so peaceful, I'm probably going to snore tonight… thanks for bringing me here. You are such a good friend."

"I know." _You are such a good friend_, not such a boyfriend.

"This place is just like my dream house, makes me so feel like a yearning for what could've been or something like it…"

"That was the whole point … come here, I'll help you up. We should get inside its getting cold here." Angel stood up first and helped Buffy. She was a little drunk, and the house was many feet away. So, he carried her on his arms through the uneven ground, she had fallen asleep on his arms.

It had been the perfect moment to propose. But, Angel had chickened out, thinking Buffy would have said no to him, or worse, that because she was slightly drunk she would've said yes and then taken it back in the morning. And the truth was: she would have said yes wholeheartedly. And now Angel would never know that.

Some people would always be a chicken.

Always a gentleman, Angel had left Buffy in her bed with a soft kiss and gone back to his own room, without preambles. He wasn't expecting her to make love with him that night, or any other for that matter.

**ZZZ**

But, Angel was wrong. A few minutes after he left her, he heard a soft nock on the door.

"Yes?"

"I thought I give you a little visit, just to say thank you, I really did have a lot of fun today. And you said the day wasn't over…" Buffy was wearing a blood-red little teddy that Angel found irresistible, so, _obviously _he let her in. Buffy wasn't sure of anything that night, except of how badly she wanted Angel. She knew she was playing with fire. But she did so want to be kindled.

"Your welcome, baby. By the way, nice _outfit._"

"Nice _hard-on._" He had been stark naked, prepared to take a cold shower once he was certain Buffy was sleeping. It was more than just chemical attraction between them. It was pure and unmistakable need. They had shared so many sinful pleasures that presented with an opportunity, they just couldn't let go.

"What can I say? You have that effect on me. Would you like something in particular?"

"You, all I want is you… I'm sorry… I seem to have forgotten my panties again." Angel laughed under his breath, drunk Buffy was so tempting.

Angel closed the door and trusted Buffy against it, kissing her thoroughly. He knew the emotional baggage would still be there the next morning…but, so would Buffy. And what the hell! She was 26 years old and him almost 30. It was about damn time they started living!

"Don't worry; you are no going to need them any time soon." Angel had been using his hands to caress Buffy's thighs, once up enough; he started fondling her hidden places.

"Are sure about this, Angel? I'm not that drunk tonight, even though evidence might point different … I'm here all on my own free will, because I miss you, and because I want you, like I've never wanted anything else."

"I'm sure, baby. You are mine, my own, there's no one else I want more in this world. Mo bean… I'm dying to be with you… are **you** sure about this?"

"I'm more than sure…" Nothing else was there to be lost for her after that, all secrets out, if he still loved her after that, he had to be for real.

And as far as Angel was concerned, Buffy was the last woman on the world, and he would not say 'no' to her in a million years, it was exactly what he wanted, her, of her own free will, coming to him. That had made Angel yearn to marry her even more. He didn't mean to marry her out duty and only for the show. He meant to _marry_ her. Make Buffy his wife in all the ways and matters concerned, truly, and unmistakably his, and if she also happened to adored making love with him. What was wrong with that anyway?

"Kiss me then!"

"Bossy!" Buffy moaned as Angel shoved her arms up and started licking the insides of her arms. He started sucking and nibbling his way down to her nipples, making her shiver in delight as he wetted the silk and lace, and then she started moaning and panting as Angel's manhood pressed against her wet core.

"Don't stop that! That feels so good!"

"I won't." Angel kept sucking her through the teddy, and soon enough she was trembling. So, they went to the bed stumbling and crashing into things, and then they continued what they had so sweetly started hours before, providing each other the incredible pleasure only their bodies could give. (Nothing was cut from here)

**ZZZ**

"That was good …but now I can't sleep, I'm all worked-up." Buffy was still reeling from their fast and intense love making.

"Don't worry, I got Tivo, let's watch the Gilmore Girls." Buffy cuddled closer to Angel, resting her head on his chest. She could listen to his heart, constant and very reassuring. To think she had missed that feeling of perfect intimacy for so many years.

"I still can believe Luke has a kid." (Remember what was going-on on Gilmore girls by December 2005)

"Anna never told him."

"I guess it's not so fictional after all…_happened to me too_…at least the girl knew where to look for her long lost father."

"Well, April it's a TV child, not _that _realistic, if you ask me,"

"He should've told Lorelai right away, waiting would only make it worst,"

"Says the voice of experience," an uncomfortable silence came between them for a second. Angel was the one who broke it.

"There's one thing that's different with us, though,"

"What's that?"

"You are my Lorelai Gilmore." Buffy sighed, that had been really sweet of him to say.

"You are _my_ Luke Danes too." They kissed and after a while, sleep took over Buffy, and Angel just stayed watching over her. She really was the love of his life. And she _had_ given him a son. So, Angel smiled contently as he drifted towards sleep, his plan was finally starting to come together…

**ZZZ**** It will continue on chapter 8 part B…ZZZ**

**It's not over yet, go find chapter 8 part B right now!**

**And don't forget to review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 8 part B**

**Bad News**

**ZZZ**

But, It was as Bridget Jones once said: _"The moment a part of your life starts fitting into place, another one falls colossally apart"_ Next day came hopefully bright as sunshine. Angel had woken up very late, taking breakfast in bed with his beloved, and he had managed to keep his proposal inside the loop on his time frame. All good so far.

The fishing had gone great. Fred had caught a huge moldy thing from the bottom of the lake that look like an eel, but, turned out to be just a bunch of algae. It was nothing eatable. At large, they had drank and partied in Angel's small sail boat for hours, coming back home a little sunburned and pleasantly tired, many, many hours later.

A great lunch of smoked salmon had followed, and once filled through the seams, the guests had gone to the veranda and sat down to take pleasure in the wind howling through the trees and the dogs running about, as they all enjoyed a cup of the finest brandy.

But all things great and perfect must come to an end.

**ZZZ**

A limousine arrived, forbearing nothing but darkness and gloomy news.

A little blonde figure in impossible heels stepped out of the vehicle loaded with gifts and bags, presumably ready to stay a few days.

"Angel, My darling! Come give me a hand."

Angel was shocked speechless, he didn't remember telling Darla where he lived, let alone he had a party planned.

"Darla!" Buffy stayed motionless on the doorstep. She had been inside the house looking for a sweater. Darla had obviously not seen her rival yet.

"I'm so glad to see you all! I'm so sorry I couldn't get here earlier, traffic and LAX where a hell to go through!"

"What are you doing here, Darla?" Angel wasn't pleased. She was seriously intruding his space.

"I came to spend the holidays with you, silly!"

"Are you insane? We got divorced last week. I appreciate your gesture, but I'd like you to leave my house …right now!" Buffy stepped out because one of the puppies was wailing for her.

"You! I know you! You are that whore from the hospital, the one who took Faith's heart!" Darla didn't remember Buffy's face from a single encounter years back. But, she did know from one of the nurses, that Angel had been running around with a patient before he left LA: a blonde skinny one.

"I don't think we should…" Buffy meant to say they shouldn't talk about something so private in company. But then it was too late.

"You took my best friend's heart! And then you took my husband! Are you blind, Angel? This is a Gold-digger who's trying to get inside your pockets as well as your pants. She's a whore, a thief, and a home wrecker too!"

"Darla, this isn't the time or the place…" said Angel coming closer to her.

"And she's an ugly bimbo too! Take a look at her, she's flat-chested, fake bottled blonde, and she even has a big ass too!" Buffy went livid. She wasn't a bimbo. Or any of those things either.

"Maybe we should all step inside, let you guys handle your business alone." Fred said as she ushered Buffy to get inside the house.

"That sounds like a good idea." Wesley and Gunn followed her.

"Come back here! You are not going anywhere, you piece of white trash!" Buffy stopped at the threshold when she heard that. She was itching to slap Darla hard in the face. But she had more class than that.

"Darla, that is quite enough. Shut your mouth now!" Angel grabbed Darla by the shoulders and pushed her towards her limousine.

"This is why you divorced me?! She isn't even prettier than me! At least your other sluts were models and actresses, this is just a wimp, you can't be serious about her! She's nothing!"

"I divorced you because we hate each other, because you cheated on me, and we fought all the time. We were miserable together. You know that! … Please stop this; you don't know what you're doing, or what you are saying. You have to leave now."

"Of course I know! You are going to marry this whore over _me_!"

"Shut up, Darla!" she went livid with that, screaming her fury at the top of her lungs.

"I'll not shut up! You bastard! I remember her now. This is the piece of shit who dumped you for Spike ten years ago! You can't be telling me you've moved here for her!"

"Darla, that's enough. Please get in the car. Don't make me call the cops on you! I had enough of you filthy mouth. Go now."

"You're going to call the cops on me? … Do it! I dare you!"

"Please just get in your car and go!" Angel took a deep breath and calmed down. Darla would not get him to set back all the progresses he had made all those months. She would not stir his famous temper back to life.

"You're an asshole! She'll use you and then dump you! She's a whore! Only in for your money. I'm here because I love you! Did you know I'm pregnant?! See how you've treated me!"

"Wait a second, Darla. What did you just said?"

"I'm pregnant! Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"We'll talk about this _later._"

"I'm leaving…" Buffy didn't wait for their explanation. She took her coat, and went for the car keys.

"Buffy, wait. Where are you going?" Angel blocked her exit with his body.

"Home. You two need to talk."

"I want you to listen to what she has to say," he spoke firmly, and looking at Buffy right into her eyes. He wasn't afraid of the things Darla would say.

"That's none of my business."

"Yes it is. You are _mo bean_. And _we_ have a son. It's our business. We are together now." Darla didn't listen to the things Angel was murmuring to Buffy at the threshold. _Mo bean_ meant my wife and my woman in Irish Gaelic. It was a very possessive endearment.

"I don't think its right, Angel."

"I don't care what you think… you are not running away, not now. You stay. You get angry. You shout. But, you do it here. Face-to-face. I don't want you imagining what she's saying to me."

"I don't mind if you stay. You'll not last much longer here after I say what I have to say, I'm sure." Said Darla, coming closer to them.

"Let's go to my studio. We can talk there." Angel grabbed Buffy by the hand and pulled her inside, clutching her hand between his. He would not let her go like that. She had to stay. And listen. So she didn't make a storm out of it later.

Gunn, Fred and Wesley, went back into the living room right behind them. They had gotten caught-up inside the tide of their storm.

**ZZZ**

"How far along are you?"

"Two months."

"It's not mine." Angel walked out the room and left Buffy and Darla together, dangerously so.

"Are you feeling alright, now? You seem very _upset_ out there," Asked Buffy calmly. They heard Angel slamming the door to his bedroom on his way in. She would not reduce herself to being petty and callous to Darla. She was a therapist; she would be damn if she fell into their game.

"I'm great, just a little dizzy. _You know_, because of the _baby_. I'm sure you'll understand this situation is very uncomfortable, you barging in like that in our lives. Destroying everything…" Buffy and Darla had never actually met, personally speaking. Buffy had been at some parties where she also was, but, they had never been formally introduced to each other.

"I understand alright, but, if I remember right, you where the one who barged in on Angel and Me ten years ago. We were engaged then and you were…" Angel came back and tossed his medical equipment on the table. He had a portable sonogram machine attached to his laptop. He used it to get ECG of his patient's hearts.

"Darla. Kindly pull up your dress. I'm going to see if you are actually pregnant,"

"What!"

"I'm a doctor! You can fool me. I wanna see proof. I wanna see that baby with my own fucking eyes!" Angel plugged the machines to the power and cleared his desk, so Darla could sit there.

"Angel, I don't think you…"

"It's alright Buffy. I'm not going to hurt her; I'll just _expose_ her…whatcha you waiting for! Want me to undress you? You never had problems to strip before!" Darla did as she was told pulling her dress up to bare her belly for Angel. All the other guests and servants where standing speechless at the door.

Angel covered the rod with gel and placed it on her belly. The image showed clear on the screen. She was pregnant. But it wasn't Angel's. They knew it was Lindsay's. Or even somebody else's. God only knew how many men Darla had been sleeping with lately.

"Darla, you don't have to say anything else…" Buffy's word's died on her mouth as she watched the laptop evidence the unborn life.

"I do. I need to probe Angel I'm not lying… and to _you_ that we are still together!"

The hum came through the machine and the continuous beating of a little heart was heard through the room, fast and purring, like a beehive, buzzing with life. Buffy knew that sound perfectly. She had taken a million of those tests when she was pregnant with Patrick. The machine Angel had, was a Doppler sonogram machine, and it showed the heart in red, for it was pumping endlessly. It was a small baby. Six to eight weeks old, very hardly Angel's baby.

"Why didn't you say something before?" Angel took a picture and saved it on his computer. He would get an expert to take a look at that picture later.

"I didn't know."

"It's not mine, Darla. You know that."

"Of course it is!"

"No. The last time you and I had sex, was eight months ago. Unless you came to New York and raped on my sleep…I don't think this is possible, you know this baby isn't mine."

"Angel, please. You always said you wanted a baby. What does it matter if it isn't yours? Coming to think of it…I think you're barren. All these years and you never could …it will be ours. Let's raise it together. It will be like you always dreamed it!" If Buffy hadn't heard it from her mouth, she wouldn't have believed it.

"I'm sorry, Darla. You must tell the real father what's going on. I will not raise a baby that isn't mine, with a woman I don't love. I can help you with money. But, I will not be a father to your child. We are divorced and that's final." He never said he had a child with Buffy. One he couldn't deny. One he was positive it was his.

"Angel! I can't tell him that! He told me to get an abortion if I ever messed up."

"You're a grown woman, Darla. Make your own decision. Take responsibility of your actions for once in your life!"

"Angel …maybe you should…" Buffy tried to say something, but, nothing good came out.

"It's ok, Buffy. Lindsay will help her. If not, she won't be the first single mother on the world, come, let's get back to the party, Darla needs to be alone for a while."

"Angel, please! I love you!" Darla did cry then.

"It's over, Darla." Angel closed the door softly on his way out, leaving Darla alone in the studio. Buffy had walked ahead of Angel, unsure of what to say, or do.

**ZZZ**

"I was going to ask you to marry me later…but, I guess now you would never say yes."

"No, I wouldn't. Not with things like this."

"I imagined you'd said that, I can only tell you, that I bought this house and everything else thinking of you, of the things you told me you had dreamed about. I wanted us to get married and live here like a family. I guess I wish you could consider moving in with me at least. I'm awfully lonely without you. I miss you. Last night was how I want to spend every night of the rest of my life. I love you, only you. Nothing Darla said was true. I'm sorry she insulted you like that. You are beautiful and perfect just as you are. You are the love of my life, Buffy. My Lolerai Gilmore. I would never cheat on you like that. You must know that."

"Angel please! What about Patrick? What if Darla's baby _is_ really yours? How could I just go on like nothing has happened? What could I tell Patrick you want me to move in with you?"

"You'll do it, Because you believe it's not mine, that I have been faithful to you, and because you trust me. Two months ago I was already here with you. I can't probe it now. But, I'm sure it isn't mine… I found her in bed with another guy. Truly in bed. Having intercourse in our house in LA. And you know I can't raise that baby with her now. I can't even bear been in the same room with her. I love _you_. I only wanna be with _you_. And with Patrick. Why don't you just tell him you fell in love with me. Tell him you want to start living your life again. Tell him I'll take care of you. I don't know what else to say, Buffy. You are the shrink; tell him something he can understand. Tell _me_ something I can understand because this is all too bizarre for me, and I just don't know what to do anymore." Angel's eyes had gone shiny with unshed tears. He had truly endured too much stress those days.

"I don't know what to say, Angel."

"Ask him, ask yourself about it, I'm not going anywhere. I know I'm telling the truth. I will be here for you as long as you want me to, because I love you and only you… when that baby it's born, we'll get the paternity test, and you'll see it's not mine. You are the only woman I've ever loved in my whole life. Please believe me. Have some faith in me!"

"Angel! I love you! Of course I have faith in you! I'll think about it. I'll ask him, and we'll see what happens."

"Let's go upstairs then, it's getting cold in here."

"I'll not sleep with you tonight, and I'll not stay here with things like this, I want you to understand that." Angel was hurt. Darla had set back his plans years.

"It's alright. I was going to sleep in the couch anyway."

"What about the party, Angel?"

"What about it?"

"Is it still going-on?"

"Of course, Buffy! I planned it all for him. Nothing has changed, as far as I'm concerned." Angel had spent a great deal of money to make his son happy, he needed to make that party a success, even if Darla had ruined his proposal.

"Fine…I'm sorry for what happened today." Buffy didn't like that sort of complications, Darla was Angel's ex-wife, she knew how hard it could get between them, especially now with a baby on their way.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong."

"What will happen to Darla?"

"I don't know, Buffy. I honestly don't. She's not my responsibility anymore. Goodnight. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Angel closed the door to Buffy's bedroom, and went back to his own. The night would be long, and he had plenty of thinking to keep him up.

"Good night, Angel." Buffy didn't do much better. Tossing and turning through the night. Wondering why it seemed fate kept dealing them the worst cards ever.

First thing in the morning, Buffy left, it was the day before Patrick's b-day, so she still had a lot to do, she left before Angel could stop her, calling for a cab to take her to the nearest bus station. She didn't want to face him the morning after.

**ZZZ Chapter 8 part C ZZZ**

**ZZZ**

**Chapter 8 part C**

**Assumptions**

**Sunday December 25****th****, Patrick Daniel has a birthday party**

Christmas Eve had come and gone, Buffy and her friends had stayed home and eaten turkey. Angel had spent it with The Windams. And unfortunately, Darla had stayed in NY with them.

Angel had called Buffy's cell phone as soon as he realized Buffy had left, she was still pretty angry. Darla had stayed in the house, causing a great deal of tension between them. Buffy didn't want the three of them sharing the same space, so she pulled herself out of the equation.

But it was the holiday season after all, so in the spirit of that, she had allowed Angel to take his son to the parade, when he had suggested he wanted to, she had agreed wholeheartedly, it was an innocent date, and Buffy could understand how much Angel needed to get back on Buffy's and Patrick's good grace. What could go wrong there? Patrick loved parades, and he was pretty excited about his party, so he was probably going to behave.

"Hi, it's me, Angel." Angel was calling Buffy's cell phone, just to check if she was ready.

"Hi! How are you?"

"I'm good. A little tired still; we went to bed around three o'clock in the morning or something like that. What about you?"

"I'm fine. I just had a Redbull, so I'm all set. No hangover symptoms anymore. Fred, Wesley and me got drunk last nigh." It had been a rough weekend for everyone, but he forgot to mention Darla, rather too conveniently for Buffy.

"You wanna talk to Patrick?" Buffy wasn't going to comment on that.

"Yes, I'd love to say happy birthday." Buffy called him, he came to the phone.

"How you doing, old man?"

"Chilling."

"It's a happy birthday then?"

"I'd said that."

"I heard you like parades, wanna go to one today?"

"I'd love to. Let me ask my mom." Buffy said yes, of course, because Patrick was a sucker for balloons and martial bands but she had never liked agglomerations.

"What did she said?" Buffy had wanted Patrick to say that he wanted to go himself, to sort of empower him to say no in case he still felt funny about hanging out with Angel. Angel on the other side had been expecting Buffy to go along with them.

"She said yes, come pick me up then, I'll get ready."

"It's all set then. I'll see you two in half an hour." But Buffy wasn't going to go. It was early, crowded, and damn cold outside. Angel would have to take his son, all on his own.

**ZZZ**

"You are not dressed. I thought you were going." Buffy went to the car wearing her footy pajamas, and a heavy pink coat.

"No! God no! I hate parades. I'll stay. Do some homework. And maybe get some rest too…God its freezing out here!"

"Is Patrick going then?"

"Yeah, he'll be down in a second. Be careful with him. He's a weasel. You loose sight of him for a moment and he'll pop up miles from where you left him."

"Don't worry, I will."

"I'll see you in the afternoon then?"

"You bet, wear something warm, it's pretty cold there." Patrick came down then. So Buffy and Angel kissed on the lips hurriedly. Not wanting their son to be awry about them. It looked like it was going to snow soon.

"Remember what we talked about…" Buffy had told her son to be good, to obey, and not to try anything foolish. Least he would loose that gift he wanted so much. A Nokia sidekick phone, since Buffy showed up with the V3 he was going crazy for a cellphone he could brag about.

"Where's the birthday boy?" Buffy opened the door to the car, and Patrick jumped in.

"Hi, Angel!"

"Happy birthday, man!"

"Thanks!" they high-fived, it was becoming what you could call competitively friendly between them. Patrick was smiling, happy to be out of the house and going to a parade without his overbearing mommy, sometimes Buffy forgot he was just a kid.

"Alright, off with you two then! Love ya, bye!"

"Bye, Buffy. I'll see you later!" Angel started the car engine, and drove-on, leaving Buffy standing behind, a vision of pink fluffiness, on the grayness of the street. The parade would start in about an hour, which would give them plenty of time to find a good spot and take some pictures of the great 5th avenue.

**ZZZ**

"Are you happy we are going to live together?" asked Angel.

"Sure … I'm _happy._" He didn't sound happy at all, Patrick sounded dumbfounded, and surprised, because he didn't know his mother had decided to move in with the schmuck without asking him first.

"I love your mom very much; you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah sure, hey, watch that one!" a dirigible of Superman was going in front of them. Angel got distracted taking pictures, and when he turned around again, Patrick was nowhere to be found.

"Patrick!" He started calling for him at the top of his lungs. Over and over again, it was very crowded and a boy could get lost so easily.

"Patrick! Come back here! Patrick!" Patrick had run behind the mob, and into the streets. He was very angry because his mommy was going to leave him. He thought she hadn't told him the truth because she wasn't going to live with him anymore; many of his friends had divorced parents, and they always wind up living with one parent all the time, and seeing very little of the other.

He assumed Buffy would send him home with Spike. He loved his father. But, he paid no attention to him. As overbearing as his mommy was, he still adored her. Coming so close to loose her, he couldn't bear living with Spike, and never seeing her again.

Angel assumed Buffy had asked Patrick to live with them, and he had said yes. But, Buffy had never asked him in the first place.

**ZZZ**

"Buffy, I have to tell you something…"

"What is it, Angel?"

"Patrick got lost on Fifth Avenue two hours ago."

"Are you serious?"

"I would never play with something like this, of course I'm serious! …I called the cops, and we are still looking for him. He must still be in the parade, but, there are a lot of people, maybe he found someone he knows and went with them, have you heard from him?"

"My God! …Where are you?"

"In front of Tiffany's."

"I'll be there in a while, stay there!"

"What if he shows up at home? Does he have a key?"

"No, he doesn't. If he comes here, he'll probably ring the neighbors, is what he always does."

"Ok, I'll keep looking for him."

"You do that, let me know as soon as your hear something."

**ZZZ**

Five more hours went by, and no news where heard. Patrick had gone to Buffy's office, a relatively close distance to do on foot. But a location they haven't though he would go to, it was 30 blocks from where he had gotten loose on Angel.

His picture had showed on TV by then, and when somebody saw him walking without an adult, they called the police. He wasn't the kind of kid that passed through unnoticed.

Buffy and Angel arrived there at same time as the patrols, cornering the boy on the street. He was all alone. So, he had obviously not been kidnapped. He had been sitting on the stairway that lead to the building where his mom worked.

Buffy jumped out of the car, and ran to him.

"My baby! Thank God you are fine! Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did somebody take you?"

She was smothering him like any mother would; she was terribly concerned about the ordeal he could have gone through.

"I'm fine, mom. I got lost, so, I came here."

"What were you doing? Were you trying to kill me? I nearly had a heart attack! Don't ever do that again! I thought I'd lost you!"

"I'm sorry mom…I let go of Angel, he walked away, and I got lost…"

"Did he, then? Is that true Angel?"

"Of course not!"

"I can't believe you were so careless! I told you to keep a close eye on him!"

"I was right beside him! I took a picture, and when I turned around, and he was gone!"

"He's not superman! He didn't just fly away from you!"

"He's small, he slid between the people and I lost sight of him!"

"Exactly! You are so unreliable! I should've never let you take him!"

"I'm sorry, Buffy! I really am!"

"You know what, you are both to blame for this, so, the party is off, you'll stay home grounded …and you'll go home and think what could have happened today."

"Mom!"

"Buffy!"

"Don't you dare Mom me! You knew this could happen. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure you had something to do with it! ... and you? Well you are the adult, you should've known better!"

"But what about all my friends?"

"I'll call them, tell them you did something very stupid, and now you are grounded."

"Buffy, I think we should consider…" Angel had been trying no to intervene, not to undermine her authority in front of her son, but the party was something he had carefully planned for Patrick. He didn't agree to her punishment, though he would have done something equally harsh had he been the father he should've been. It was really irresponsible of his son to play a game like that on Buffy, and malicious of the boy to play _him_ too. But was the cancellation of the party a good punishment?

"You were the responsible adult! How could I trust you when you can't even baby-sit your own son!" Patrick played like he hadn't heard that. He was too young to understand what that really meant. But the words got registered inside his head.

"Buffy please. This isn't the time or the place to talk about this."

"Madam, I'm sorry to interrupt but I need you to sign a statement." The cop interrupted Buffy and Angel's argument.

"Sure, give me that." She was stating Patrick had been found, that he was unharmed, and that he not been kidnapped, robbed or abused in any form.

"Go home, Angel. We had more than enough adventures for one day. See if you can call off the amusements you had prepared. Patrick is grounded, and he will stay that way for a long time…and _you_, well you know I'm fairly pissed with you!" Buffy's son was more important to her than anything else, had she lost him, she would've gone mad, and both Patrick and Angel had to understand that. Games like that could literally kill her.

"Fine. I'm sorry, Buffy. I never meant for this happen. Had I known, I would have never taken him in the first place." Now Buffy couldn't trust him to show judgment or be responsible with his son anymore, he had proven he wasn't capable of controlling him. Patrick had never gotten lost before in his life. And, Buffy suspected he had done it on purpose to get her and Angel to fight. He didn't like Angel in the fist place, and He didn't want him close to his mommy. He had said so.

"Goodbye, schmuck." Said Patrick, he had liked Angel until he heard he wanted to separate Buffy and him. He had gotten lost on purpose, just to frame Angel, make him look like an imbecile. And he had gotten it. Buffy was very angry with the both them then. She couldn't bear leaving in a constant war between her son and Angel.

"I'll talk to you about that thing later, I need to go home and clear my head." Said Buffy as she rubbed her temples, a pounding headache was starting to numb her.

"I understand that, let me drive you home." Angel didn't want her driving in that disrupted state.

"No thank you, I'll take a cab. Patrick is right you are a schmuck."

"I guess the party is really off."

"You bet! Goodbye, Angel." The party Angel had so carefully prepared got called off; Angel was left with all the settings ready: the food, the music, the cake, the amusements and all the presents. Things went back to complete zero with his plan, No Buffy, No Patrick, no nothing. He would never get Buffy to trust him again. Not with Patrick playing him like that, Darla casting a black shadow over him, and Buffy getting sick over it. Why was everyone to dead-set on separating them?

End of Chapter 8… 

**I must apologize again for the sheer length of this thing, but hopefully it was worth it! Let me know if you liked it! Please Review.**

**The mean kitten.**


	11. Chapter 11

An: Buffy and Angel are going to get back together, Holly, it's just going to take a little while to happen (they get together during this chapter) I should also tell you there's more drama ahead, I did say that this story was very long, so… I hope you enjoy this!

An2: don't forget to review me!

An3: my beta left me in the blue after chapter 5, so I've been running on empty tanks, I'm sure there are typos and tenses and other mistakes, so I'd really appreciated if you would point them out for me… thank you! I'm not an American, and English ain't even my first language… so on with the show!

**Chapter 9**** part A**

"**Somewhere I belong****"**

**ZZZ**

**Day before New years eve, 2005**

Giles once said that people would surprise you every now and then, well he was perfectly right, people were bound to be incredibly gracious at time… but they were also bound to be real assholes when least needed…

"I thought I told you to tidy up your bedroom… yesterday." It had been a week since Buffy and Angel last saw each other, he had tried calling her a zillion times, but Buffy wasn't answering the phone; she had decided to focus on getting her son back on the right track, which at the moment seemed to be a complete failure.

"You did, Mom, but I was busy yesterday, I had to do homework."

"You had to do homework? Who do you think you are talking to? I'm not stupid, Patrick; you better get your ass off that couch and go do your chores…"

"Or what? You'll rat me out with my daddy? You'll tell him what a bad son I am? Or are you going to kidnap my xbox again?" Buffy couldn't believe she had had let her son get that cheeky, she was a therapist after all, she told parents not to use threats as a mean to get things done, and she had done it herself, over and over again, the past had a way of coming back to bite you in the ass when least expected.

"I'm not going to do any of that, this is your room, so it's your responsibility, you can see that everything is exactly the same as it was last week, books on the floor, clean clothes rumpled on the corner, shoes all over the place. That's not tiding-up. If you wan to live in dumpster that's your business, but this is my apartment, I'd appreciated it if you were to clean up your mess, in fact it would make me very happy if you would."

"I'm playing right now, I'll do it later."

"That's not working for me, Patrick, you said that three times already…I'm asking you nicely, so it would be gracious of you, nothing to say of appropriate and meaningful, if you would please, tidy up this room… now." Buffy unplugged both the TV, and the X-Box and stood firmly in front of her wayward son, staring right back into eyes, daring him to defy her.

"Mom!"

"If you do it now, I'm going to help you; you'll see that you'll like it better once is all clean and…"

"Read my lips, Buffy. I am not going to clean up just because you're ordering me to do it."

"I'm not ordering you, I'm asking you,"

"Since when do you ask for anything? If you want something done, you just do it yourself."

"That was then, this is now, please get up, we are going to…"

"I'll do it later."

"No, Patrick. You'll do it now; I'm going to help you with it."

"You go to hell! You hear me? I'm not going to fucking clean up this shit!"

"Patrick! That's enough; I'm not going to tolerate this kind of language in my house." He wasn't listening to her, so Buffy pulled him by the arm. He had been trying to reattach his machine, completely ignoring her orders.

"What now, Mom? Are you going to send me to my room? Or are you going to ground me again?" She didn't say anything back; she just stood there, tightening the grip on his arm.

"We need to talk with your father." He got seriously angry and shoved her against the wall, slamming her head against the concrete, Buffy was about a hundred pounds and Patrick was taller and stronger than her, near ten pounds heavier at the moment; for once in her life, Buffy felt threatened by her son.

"Why don't you just send me to live with Spike so you can fuck Angel all you want!" Buffy slapped him on the face without even thinking about it, leaving a red imprint of her hand on his cheek; she went livid with anger, her son had never spoken to her like that, and she'd be dammed if she left him start now.

"You don't talk to me like that. I'm your mother. Take it back." Buffy got so angry when he didn't say anything back that she slapped him on the face again, this time with the back of her hand, Patrick's face was now red on both sides. And then she made a run for the phone. She needed to talk to Spike right away. She couldn't deal with the boy anymore, suddenly Patrick screamed, throwing the X-Box to her face. She squarely missed it by ducking.

"I hate you! You are the worst mom in the world!" Buffy started crying then, something was seriously wrong with Patrick. What could've taken her son into such a 360° spin of personality? When had things gotten so violent and out of control between them?

He had been such a dear boy when he was younger, it couldn't have been Angel, he had only been there for a few weeks, they hardly even talked for god sakes, there was something else; someone was poisoning her son.

"You are nothing but a whore!" Buffy dropped the phone when she heard Patrick say that. She rushed to his side and grabbed him by the shoulders, trying unsuccessfully to calm him, trying to get him to realize what he was saying.

"Where did you hear that word?"

"On the Goddamned TV! I hate you! I hate Angel and everything about you two! You are going to leave me with Spike and never come back because of him! You are just fucking him for his money! You don't care about how I feel! I hate you!"

"And I thought you were innocent. You are not innocent at all. What makes you think I'm doing that? Who told you that?"

"It's what all the parents do! You'll leave me alone with daddy and he'll say how much of a bad mommy you are! And then you'll have more kids with the schmuck, you'll leave me, and you'll never come back!"

"I'd never leave you, Patrick! You are my baby!"

"Of course not. You love Angel more than me! I tried to break you two apart getting him grounded for loosing me. He's a rich idiot, Mom!"

"Patrick! I can't believe you! You are not like this! You know that I love you more than life itself. I love Angel too. But, it's a different love…and he loves you too! He loves us both." Buffy had to bite her tongue not to say he was his real father, even though she really wanted to.

"You are a stupid bitch!" Buffy cradled his head between her hands, and forced him to look at her in the eyes.

"This isn't you; Patrick. Where is this coming from? Who told you to call me that?"

"What do you care?"

"I do care, because you are my son. Where did you get all this? Tell me!" Buffy was very clear that a nine year old boy didn't get that kind of speech at school. She needed to know who was getting those ideas inside her son's mind.

"TV, school, the streets. What does it matter?"

"You just turned nine, there's no possible way you understand what you just said to me! Where did you hear that? Tell me!"

"Daddy! He said that! He talked like that with his girlfriends! He told them those things, while he thought I was sleeping! Sometimes he even told them when I was beside him. He yelled at them. Did awful things with his pecker too, I saw him! He told me you were like that too!" Spike, god almighty, how could Buffy been so blind, Spike for god sakes!

"Oh my God! I can't believe this. This can't be possible. You have to be lying to me!"

"I'm too, he said that! I'd never lie to you, Mommy! He told me you loved Angel more than me! That you'll send me away, and I would never see you again! That you were fucking him for his money!"

"Get your things ready, dear. We're going out." Buffy didn't know what to say or do. Spike had been psychologically abusing her son. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen that one coming. Spike wasn't exactly a role model for anything. He was a good doctor. But, he had never had a single significant relationship with a good girl. Now she knew why, he was an abusive asshole. And a really bad example too!

"No! I won't go! I don't want to! You are going to dump me somewhere! Please don't! I love you, mommy! Please don't' leave me!"

"I am not going to leave you alone, ever! Were are going out, you and me, we need to talk to Angel, you and me and him, the three of us, there's a lot of things that you need to hear … but I need to you understand something before anything else, that is: that I would never leave you, you are my baby, nothing can break us apart!"

"Would you swear that?"

"I swear it! Cross my sick heart over it!"

"Ok, mommy, I'm going to go with you… but please stop crying, I can't stand it when you cry." Buffy could've hardly contained her tears before and then she felt as though she was been torn apart by her son's request.

"I need you to give me a hug, Patrick. Mommy needs you to hug her real tight, ok? Would you do that for me?" He didn't say anything; he wiped the tears away from her face and then hugged her bear-tight.

"I love you, mommy, I didn't mean to hurt you before, I just got so angry, I didn't know what to do…"

"I know, baby. I understand what you mean, let's go get our coats so we can go out, ok? Do you want to eat some ice-cream? I feel like I need it."

"Yeah, I'd like that very much."

My God! And I though Spike was such a good parent; thought Buffy, how could she have been so blind, he was psychologically abusing Patrick; he was sabotaging his relationship with Buffy, and he was destroying any sort of friendship between Patrick and Angel. Could have Spike been motivated by pure parental jealousy, or was he an abusive parent?

Buffy had to call Angel then, she had to announce him she would be going down to his house, and that she was taking their son with her.

She didn't give Angel much detail to the reasons for the meeting. But Angel immediately realized she was terribly upset, he could tell she had been crying, so for better or for worse, Patrick's fate had been decided that night, sooner or later he would find out that Angel was his biological father.

_(Note to readers: I don't like characters bashing myself, but we all know Spike can get very abusive when he doesn't get what he wants, remember the episode when he raped Buffy? Well I was just keeping true to some pointers of the character!__ And he does swear a lot, so is all cannon, right?)_

**ZZZ**

"Calm down, Buffy. Tell me what happened." Buffy came to Angel crying and sobbing, she was still upset about the fight. She could barely talk as they walked through the house.

"Patrick. H-he told me a-awful things," no ice-cream cone could erase the words been said, or the pain inside Buffy's heart.

"What sort of things?" Buffy and Angel ended speaking inside his studio for privacy. Patrick was sitting in the living room, caught up in his own feelings, staring with teary eyes at the wooden panels of the floor.

"That I was a w-whore, that I was fucking you for your money! And that I was going to leave him so I could be with you, he's gotten inside his head, that I love you more than him, that I would leave him for you!"

"He said that?" Angel couldn't believe that, Patrick was a little too smart for his own good, but he wasn't that kind of a kid.

"Among o-other things, h-he even threw his Xbox to my face! He's so poisoned, Angel!"

"Poisoned by whom? Who has been doing that to him?"

"I still can't believe it … but, he said it had been _Spike._"

"What! Why? What was he trying to do?"

"Get him to be against me. He wants to have Patrick all to himself. He wants to hurt me through him, I think he's afraid of what's going to happen after I tell Patrick the truth."

"I can't believe him. Are you sure?"

"Patrick never lied to me before in his life…and the things he said…it was clear they came from an adult, one who is very resented with me."

"Is he resented because you told me the truth about Patrick? Or because he's jealous of me?"

"Both. I think he can't deal with the fact …that you are the only man I've ever loved, that you are just better than him, in everything."

"And he wants to get to you through Patrick, making you choose between the two of us, using him to hurt you, because he hates me?"

"Exactly."

"What a son of a bitch!"

"I know. I can't believe he did that, either."

"You explained the truth to Patrick?"

"I want to, but, I need to calm down first. I-I can't even speak straight right now. We went to get some ice-cream, and I couldn't even see him in the eye without crying, I can't believe I didn't see this happening, it was right under my nose, this must have started such a long time ago!"

"I know, baby. Come here, give me a hug. You are safe here… I'm sorry these things happened to you. We are going to figure this out, don't panic, you are not alone anymore."

"I love you, Angel."

"You know I love you too. I want to discuss the fact that I want to… I need to have custody of Patrick. I want him to be an O'Quinn. I want to be his father. I want to tell him the truth…"

"I want you to. But these things can't be done like that, he's so confused already, let's break things down piece by piece… you said you wanted to move in together, I think that could be a good idea, it could get him to build a stronger bond with you, and at the same time we'll limit his time with Spike, we both need some time to clear our heads, to think about what we are going to do. What do you think?"

"I couldn't agree more!" Angel was furious with Spike, but he could almost thank him, he had forced Buffy right back to his arms, she was talking to him and she was also suggesting moving in with him because of Spike's deviousness! Talk about unexpected turn of events!

"That's all we are going to tell him now, the rest will come later… it's going to take a while; we can't cut Spike clean from his life like that, he must have time, and therapy too. He needs to overcome these things, and accept the changes that will happen to his life…"

"I understand that. He looks very sad. Should I go talk to him before you do?"

"I think that would be confusing for him, do it with me, he needs to see that we are together and that we agree about this. I'm going to wash my face now. I can't face him like this." Angel wiped the tears and the running mascara away from Buffy's face, and walked her tenderly to the bathroom, Buffy was awestruck of much alike were father and son, maybe it was genetic, the love for her.

Angel on the other side could hardly believe Spike had done that. It wasn't just cruel and abusive, it was beyond that. It was a crime, a perversion. Spike deserved to be punished for that, and Angel yearned to be the one administering it.

"I'm very glad you are here…despite the reasons… I'm sorry about what happened the other day; I didn't mean to hurt you, Buffy. It was all so fast, one minute he was there… and the other he wasn't, I know this was terrible for you, believe me, it was terrible for me too." Angel was seething inside, much like his son had been before, but he could hide all his feelings well. He would have plenty of time to make Spike pay for what he had done to Buffy. Last thing Buffy and Patrick needed was another unstable male around them. He had to be the strong shoulder where she could cry on. He had to be her rock.

"It's ok, Angel. I understand now, I know it wasn't your fault, let's just go talk to Patrick, ok?" In time, Angel would _make it look like an accident_. He would get his pride satisfied and his kind of justice done. He hadn't gotten his sacred Angelus the scourge of Europe reputation for nothing. Somebody had messed with the love of his life, and his only son. He was bound for revenge. The kind famously relentless Irish folk gave, time to plot was all Angelus needed.

"Ok," Buffy could count on that. He would cut his right arm for her, hell: he would cut his heart, his legs, and his dick too. His love for her had no such thing as limits.

**ZZZ**

"Why don't you come here, darling? We want to talk to you." Buffy and Angel, sat to both sides of Patrick on the porch, where the ambience was better for talking deep things, and where he would feel like he was free, like he wasn't been cornered against his will.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean to say bad things to you. I love you. I was just scared and angry… I didn't know what else to do!"

"And I love you too, baby. You are my son, blood of my blood. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, can keep me away from you. You don't have to be afraid or scared anymore, we love you Patrick, we respect you, and we need you to know that."

"Him too?" Patrick pointed out to Angel.

"I'm the last person in the world you have to be worried about, Patrick."

"The thing is, baby, that Angel…well he's the man of my life. The man I love. While you, you are _my baby_. I carried you in my belly for nine months, I breastfed you for nearly a year, you made me wake up at two in the morning because you wanted to be held in my arms, how could you think someone can change my love for you? That I would send you away for any reason? There is no reason to confuse both loves, Patrick, because they are very different. Do you understand what I'm saying, Darling?"

"Not really,"

"A husband or a boyfriend, it's a partner, a person you love because you desire to, someone you want to share your life with, a companion, a friend that is very close to you, somebody you want to raise a child with… A son is a reason, not an obstacle to overcome; you are a part of my heart and soul, Patrick. You are flesh of my own flesh. Somebody I'm bound to for the rest of my life. One love does not exclude the other. And you can be death-sure that I'm never going to leave you!"

"Buffy means, she loves you just the same, whether I'm here or not. And this love you two share will never change. Not because of me, or because of anybody else."

"Do _you_ love me too?"

"Of course I do! I love your mommy with my whole heart. And because of you, I love her even deeper. I would never put myself between you two. I understand you come first, and you'll always will. You are her son. I can't …and I _won't _compete with that."

"We both care for you, Patrick; we don't want you to think those bad things ever again. We are together, the three of us, for better of for worse, no matter what your Daddy Spike or anybody else says to you, know that we are a family. And _**you**_ are the most important part of it."

"There can't be a family without you, Patrick. Buffy and I will always be together for and with you, and we want you to know that."

"Do you love my mommy that much?"

"I love Buffy with all my heart, Patrick."

"We are thinking we would like to move in together, to this house, you and me and Angel… that's if you'd still want to. Would you like to move into this house, Patrick?"

"That's what I meant, when I ask you, if you were happy we were going to live together. I never meant to leave you out. We are a family, because you are here. And you'll always will. I want you to know that I respect that. What do you say, man? Do you want to move in her with me?"

"I don't know… it _**is**_ a big house… could I have a pet?"

"Yes, you could, I would let you have as many as you like."

"Is it true, Mommy? Is it true that we are all together and that you are never going to leave me? Are we really going to move in here? Can I really have a pet?"

"Of course it is, Baby. It's all true, boy scout honor on it." Patrick jumped into Buffy's arms, weeping loudly. All his deep fears and resentments toward Buffy and Angel were cracking down. They were a family. Something Patrick had always dreamed about since he was a little kid. Angel joined their hug, and they stayed together like that for a long time, rejoicing in the feeling of a first 'family' reunion.

"Are you guys hungry? I'm starving myself." Asked Angel.

"You bet! Let's go to Macdonald's!" Patrick said as he grabbed Buffy and Angel each by one hand, and smiled a huge grin full of joy as he pulled them towards Angel's car. For children: change was so easy, like you could just patch-up ten years of mistakes and poor judgment with a few nice words and a change of scenery, was it all just that easy?

No, certainly not, Buffy and Angel still had so many obstacles to overcome that it seemed this was just the first step of a very long journey.

"Mickey dees? Oh God, I'm going to have to change a lot of things for you aren't I?"

"Of course, Angel! We are a family now, we gotta stick together!" Patrick Said cheerfully, he was so sweet sometimes, had he been the child he was meant to be, he would have been the joy of the house, hell … he would've been the joy of the entire family.

**ZZZ**

"There's somebody I'd like you to meet, before we go anywhere…" Angel opened the door to the garage/workshop and two little beasts came running towards them.

"These are: Bingo and Trixie, my dogs." Patrick jumped to their side and hugged them, they were so cute.

"You are so great! I can't believe you have two… do you breed them? They're golden retrievers, you know? They are big dogs, mom wanted to get me a Yorkshire terrier, but I told her they weren't nice! Auntie Willow wanted to get me a poodle, said Tara liked them a lot, but I didn't. I like huskies, and Labradors and boxers… and Golden retrievers too!"

"I guess you could say he likes dogs…" Buffy said as she observed the scene with a detached eye, her son had always liked animals a lot; maybe he'd grow up to be veterinarian.

"That's a good thing, Buffy. Now, about that moving-in part… shouldn't we be going down to your apartment, getting some clothes … and your medication, you know the basic stuff until you move-in for good?"

"There's plenty of time for that, it's only noon; we'll go after lunch."

"I can't believe you've got puppies! You should've told me earlier!" Patrick was so taken with the dogs he forgot he was the hungry one to begin with.

"You just got here, man! I have other things that you are probably going to like, I have a cake—your birthday cake actually—in the freezer, and a room full of un-opened presents… in case you wanna check them out."

"Prezzies? Of course I want them, what did you get me? It can't be dogs… we've already got two, I'm going to help you look after them! We are going to fed them and bathe them and…"

"That was the long term plan; your mom said she liked them too, so they were a present to her, actually."

"You are such a cool guy! Mom, can I go get the presents?"

"I think I'd like to eat better, they'll still be there when we get back, let's go have some food. I'm starving!" Patrick didn't like that idea much but he saw Buffy's point, presents would still be there when they returned.

"Ok, mommy! But well hurry back, right Angel? I don't want to leave them alone."

"You've got it, Kiddo. Let's go get something to munch on!"

**ZZZ**

"Is he asleep?" Asked Angel, they had eaten lunch together at Friday's, which was a little better than Mcd, then they had gone to Buffy's place, and then Patrick had stayed watching TV in Angel's bedroom through most of the day, he had satellite TV and Tivo, so Patrick parked his ass in front of Angel's 57'' home theatre and nothing, not even the puppies or the presents had taken him out of there.

"Soundly," Buffy and Angel were talking in hushed tones in the bedroom across the hall; it was close to nine pm, so it was time to sleep.

"How long are you planning to stay?"

"Are you kicking me out already?"

"Of course not! I just wanna know how much groceries I have to buy tomorrow,"

"Well, in that case, buy plenty. Your son eats a lot,"

"We should go together, say tomorrow morning around nine? Shop for the Christmas dinner?"

"Sounds good…that reminds me, I have to call Anya and Willow, let them now I won't be staying with them for the holiday. I just can't face Spike right now. We had plans; we were going to spend it all together, like we do every year… I guess this year will be different."

"It would be different for me too, first year without Faith…"

"Of course it will! I'm sorry I forgot that. At least you've got us now,"

"Not at least, thankfully. I'm very tired, Buffy …so, I'm going to go hit the sack now." Buffy had been fidgeting around the room. Once she had examined everything, she was faced with two possibilities: going to bed alone, or going to bed with Angel.

Angel was still five feet away from her, letting her keep her personal space. Should he be the one actually inviting her to sleep with him? Or should she be the one making the first step?

"Me too, Angel. I know my way around here, so, if I need anything I know where to get it, and by the way…_Thank you_. I really do appreciate it, you letting us stay here. No questions asked. It's very kind of you."

"It's not a matter of kindness, you are my family, Buffy, my only family, and holidays are the time to be together. You go and sleep tight, we are going to have a long day tomorrow. I hope you have pleasant dreams tonight!" Buffy had taken her intended room while Angel had decided on sleeping where he had originally planned Patrick to sleep at, so they would be five feet away from each other, which didn't seem like a terribly long distance to cross if they wanted some company, just a few steps across the hall.

"I won't. You have a good night, too!"

"Can I get a goodnight kiss?"

"Sure," it was probably the chastest kiss Angel had ever given Buffy, barely a nip. But then again, he wished her to feel safe in his house, not molested, or obligated to have sex with him, not unless she wanted to, not under the emotional distress she was in, not unless she really wanted to make love to him, and the signals were clear, she was still confused, anxious about things, making love to Angel was the last thing on her agenda at the moment.

"My door is open…in case you want to visit me again, like you did the other day…" he though he should suggest it at least, just to leave the window opened.

"Funny you, I'm very tired. Let's leave it for some other time, when things are a little bit less confusing, I don't want Patrick walking up on us, can I take a rain check?" plainly, Buffy didn't want to cross the distance _that night_. She had said some other time, which was a window of sorts.

"Sure… I Love you, Buffy."

"You know I love you too." She kissed him again, and pushed him out of the room right afterwards, closing the door behind her. She was really tired and confused.

Angel slept with an eye open as well as the door, and ever constant of movements on the corridors, nothing even resembling a good night sleep. But he was reeled-up, so much had changed in a day, how could he just sleep it over, like it was nothing? It was something; it was one of the single most important days of his life, the first step of a journey, the journey of the rest of his life… now he had Patrick and Buffy.

**ZZZ**

"Hi!" Angel was very surprised when his son woke up ten minutes after he did. Following him to the kitchen a while later, at the very early hour of six in the morning.

"Where's mom?" It was still dark outside.

"She's still asleep. You need something?"

"No, I'm just wondering around."

"So you're an early riser too?" It was the morning of New Year's Eve, that day were most people slept late, so they could stay up at night.

"Not really, I just couldn't sleep anymore."

"You wanna eat something now? Or you'll wait until Buffy is up?"

"I'll eat now. Whatcha you got?"

"Check the fridge, if you want cereal it's on the cabinet to your left, and the dishes are above the sink."

"What about spoons?"

"First drawer to your left." Patrick sat down next to Angel, and started eating his corn flakes.

"What are you doing there?" Angel was writing something down something on a notepad.

"Making a list, we are going to the market later, you want to add something?" there was the basics, milk, eggs, coffee, sugar. Etc.

"You are missing all the important stuff: chicken, meat, vegetables, fruits, frozen yogurt, ice cream, tooth paste… and toilet paper too!"

"I guess you know by now I've never actually shopped for groceries on my own? I have a housekeeper that comes every Tuesday, she cleans up after me, does some shopping and makes sure I'm not welling on my own dirt, her name is Kirsten, and you'll meet her next week."

"Me neither! I can't shop alone, I just love to go with mom, and put all the stuff that's not on the list on the cart … when she's not looking."

"Do you! Like what, what do you like to sneak in the cart?"

"Potato chips, chocolates, muffins, bagels, candy, things like that. Oh! I love crunchy peanut butter too!"

"That's great! I love it too. We'll get plenty of that then!" It was good to know that Angel had more in common with his son that just bad temper, the looks and the love for Buffy.

"Mommy loves Sara Lee's cheese cake."

"Thanks for the tip, man! I'll get her that. Anything else Buffy likes?"

"Blueberry muffins too, she loves them."

"We'll get those as well. Any brand of soda you like better?"

"Seven up, and diet coke for mom,"

"Eat your cereal then, I'll catch up writing all those items you just told me."

"Buy waffles mix too. Mommy loves to make them on Sunday."

"That reminds me, we need to buy the turkey. Do you think we can still get one?"

"Not a chance! We'll have to eat chicken. One time, Auntie Willow cooked soy gravy for Christmas and made us eat it! ugh! It was disgusting! I'll never eat that again!"

"That makes two of us. I hate vegetarians too. Darla—I mean my ex-wife—made me eat salad, for thanksgiving!"

"That is just plain evil! Did she forbid you to eat meat too?"

"No, even worse, she forbade me coffee! Said it made me cranky. It was _she _whomade me cranky!"

"Mom could never live without her coffee."

"How does she take it?"

"Black, with two bags of splenda…or latte-vanillas, she likes that too sometimes."

"Dou you cook your mommy some breakfast?"

"That's a great idea!"

"Let's go check on the puppies first."

"That's an even better idea! I wonder if they are cold or hungry..."

**ZZZ**

"It's a really bad day to go to the market." Said Angel.

"New Year's Eve always is." said Buffy, once happily awake, and filled with delicious eggs Benedict done by Patrick and Angel, they had all headed-off to the hell known as supermarkets on the holidays.

"Is there anything else you want? Were nearly coming to the clerk, and I won't be coming back here later."

"We got everything we need."

"Good. Did I tell you Wesley and Fred and coming by tonight?"

"No, you didn't. In that case, let me go get more snacks." Buffy left the line quickly, and ran back to get more food and liquors.

"That's better." She came back loaded with stuff.

"Is Darla coming too?" Buffy asked point-blank, leaving Angel dumbfounded.

"No, at least not to my knowledge, she's staying with a friend of hers, some fashion designer named Drusilla or something like it." But she _could_ show up, and ruin their party completely.

"I'll lock the front door, after the other guests arrive, in case she comes by." Angel didn't want another scene like the last one.

"Are you guys still friends?" Were they?

"I wouldn't say friends. We…we are _acquainted_ or formerly related."

"What about the baby?"

"I told you it's not mine!" Angel's face was more foretelling that any outburst; she needed to drop the subject, _immediately_. It was dead-end with Angel; he would never even fathom the possibility.

"Ok, whatever you say, Angel."

"Don't psycho-babble me, Buffy. It's true. We are _not_ together. And that baby _isn't_ mine. It could never be mine."

"Sorry, Angel. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Fine, just leave it alone. I don't wanna talk about Darla anymore."

"Deal. Can we talk about Fred and Wesley then?"

"What about them?"

"How close are you?"

"Pretty close, especially since I moved here."

"I guess they'll be your witnesses…if we ever get married." Angel was once again left dumbfounded, Buffy was a master as saying things point-blank. _If we ever get married…_

"Maybe, the best man would be Wesley for sure."

"Willow would be my maid of honor."

"_If we ever get married__…_" an uncomfortable came between them after they said that. How should Angel spill that he still had plans? How Should Buffy say she was waiting for his proposal?

"What about Spike?"

"I said I don't wanna talk about him!" Then it became Angel's turn to realize Buffy wasn't ready to discuss that one either, Buffy was still tender about that issue, hadn't figured out how to break that kind of news to anybody, not even to Willow, who was her best friend. Buffy had decided to let the tide go down before she spoke to anybody about the new living arrangements, nothing to say of the upcoming change of custody.

"But you will, eventually." She had only said she was spending the holiday with Angel. And that Spike shouldn't expect them back any time soon, which was pretty vague for Buffy's standards.

"Maybe, I don't know, I guess! I'll think about it. Now leave it alone! I don't wanna talk about Spike anymore."

"Deal."

"I guess we've covered all the controversial subjects."

"No, there's actually one left: How's your mom doing?"

"I haven't heard from her since last week. Last time we talked she was fine, a little weak because of the drugs, but, mostly fine. You are right, now we have covered all the annoying subjects in less than five minutes… that must be some kind of a record, right?"

"I'm glad she's doing better. We'll visit her sometime later, during the summer maybe… if you are up to it."

"We will." Buffy wondered when they had become a _'we'_, it seemed to have rolled out of Angel's mouth easily. And she had readily accepted it, following it with another _'we'_ of her own.

"Can I bring this, Angel?" That was the first time Patrick was asking Angel to buy him anything, quite a milestone for them.

"What is it?"

"Biscuits, for the puppies," Angel would never say no.

"Sure, get me some dog-shampoo too, I'm running out of it,"

"You've got it, Angel!" Patrick ran to the dog food alley and disappeared behind the stands.

"Found your mojo then?"

"Definitely."

"That makes me very happy."

"And _me_!" Buffy and Angel shared a knowing smile as they waited for the long line of customers to role; Angel had finally connected with Patrick, and that was magnificent. It was truly amazing for the both of them and for Buffy as well. If she could get them to be close to each other, it would be easier to break the news, Buffy was thinking Patrick's next birthday seemed like an appropriate time for it, a whole year to tighten-up the bond. Was that enough time? What do you think?

**ZZZ It will continue on chapter 9 part B… ZZZ**

**There will be another update soon, but you gotta be patient guys, these ultralong chapters don't exactly write themselves**** out, you know? So be a bunch of dolls and wait on me, I hope this satisfies your appetites for a while!**

**The mean kitten.**

**Don't' forget to review me!!!**

**ZZZ**

**Extra: I thought this song defined the ****first part of chapter very well, so…**

**"Somewhere I Belong"**

**By Linkin Park**

(When this began)  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
(I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
(Inside of me)  
But all the vacancy the words revealed   
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
(Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
(I was confused)  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
(So what am I)  
What do I have but negativity  
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me  
(Nothing to lose)   
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
Somewhere I belong


	12. Chapter 12

AN: it came to my notice that people feel Patrick is unrealistic because of his height and weigh, well to respond to that, he might sound too big, but 5'2'' and 110 pounds is normal for a kid who's meant to be 6'3'' tall and about 250 pounds, I'm actually thinking he could be a major league baseball player or a NFL player or even a Basketball player, so in spirit of that, be lenient with my giant!

**An2**: Rob pointed a very important thing to me! I messed-up Spike's name, I called him James—because I confused his real name aka James with his character William "Spike"—so I'm so very sorry! I corrected the mistake; I hope there's nothing wrong with it now. Thank you, Rob!

**ZZZ**

**Chapter 9 part B**

Dealings and Consequences (it's still New Years Eve) 

The Windams came to spend New Years Eve with Buffy and Angel. Problem was, they came with company … Cordelia Chase, Wesley's friend and secretary. And to even out the numbers, Angel had invited Gunn. Which meant Angel's house was packed; all the rooms had been taken.

"I guess we'll have to cook more, right?" Angel had given his staff the week off. Since the holidays were both on the weekends, which unfortunately left Buffy and Angel in charge of all.

"It looks like that. At least we've got snacks and booze to spare." They were doing some math in the kitchen, considering what to do for dinner, they hadn't been able to find a turkey, so they had settled for a few slices of stuffed pig, but it was really small, enough for four people max.

"We are going to have to work with that. Do you think Cordelia and Gunn will hit it off?"

"I don't know, baby. Gunn likes brunettes, so she at least fits his type."

"And what's your type?"

"I'm a blondes man myself, I've always been." Angel released Buffy's hair from the tight bun and it fell in silky waves as far as her ribs, she hadn't gotten a hair cut in years, and she had always favored long hair looks.

"I guess that's pretty obvious. We could cook some pasta…"

"I think they'd complain; I have a better idea… Let's barbecue. That way I can show-off my new grill."

"You bought a grill? Aren't you the stereotypical man?" He had two dogs, a huge house, a SUV… and a Grill, all he needed was the wife and the kids to make it picture-perfect.

"Well, that's correct; I guess I'd call it the stereotypical divorced man, in my case… Hey, I just remembered that I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas the other day, I just noticed… I had this tree I wanted to decorate, I wanted the three of us to do it together, I thought it'd never happen now." Angel pointed out to the workshop, and true to words, there was a chopped pine there, wilting away.

"I'm sorry, I guess we'll have to scratch that one off the list… although there's still some time left, maybe we could do it tomorrow?"

"No, there's no point for that anymore." Angel looked deflated, but he knew there would be many more Christmas ahead, maybe next year.

"Oh! Look at where we are standing!" Buffy said before she kissed Angel softly on the lips; they were under the mistletoe, so some traditions ought to be honored.

"I think I'm going to take some of that upstairs, maybe I'll hang some above my bed…" Buffy giggled as Angel stashed some branches on the back-pocket of his pants.

"Maybe… Merry Christmas, _Mister Hedgehog_!"

"Marry Christmas, _sweetie_!" The mood between Buffy and Angel had been very light that day; it seemed that buying the groceries and setting some Christmas decorations here and there had made them feel better. It was, after all, a big holiday and nobody liked party poopers.

"I never thought I'd be spending this holiday with you."

"Me neither. Kiss me again?" As Angel and Buffy were kissing at the kitchen threshold, Cordelia came by. She had felt and instantaneous attraction towards Angel, and that display had cleared her off. That meant she was supposed to pair off with Gunn, which wasn't bad either, just not as rich-dark-handsome as Angel. She didn't know for certain if Buffy and Angel were an item.

"Let's go back then, I'm sure they're wondering what we are doing in here by now."

"Sure."

The guests had been eyeing the Christmas decorations and socks on the fire place, when Buffy and Angel came out to announce they were doing a barbecue, they would serve stuffed pig, grilled chicken and beef, with side dishes of mash potatoes and sweet corn, optional gravy was available and Buffy had cooked frozen pees as well. Wesley and Fred had brought eggnog and chocolate chip cookies. It wasn't exactly traditional, but who cared! They were still celebrating the day, and turkey was truly impossible to find so late, nothing to say of finding someone who actually knew how to cook it.

**ZZZ**

"How's the sweet corn?" Buffy asked as she passed the scones to Wesley.

"Great! Can you pass me the mash potatoes?" Wes said as he served Fred more sweet corn.

"Sure." Buffy said as Angel served her a tall glass of red wine.

"Ok, let's do a toast now," started Angel, raising his glass of Pinot noir. They had moved the plastic tables to the garden, where the grill was; there was no point going back and forward inside the house, besides, the night was so beautiful, full of stars and so cold that people just wanted to drink and cuddle together.

"You must know we weren't exactly expecting all of you to come up here today…"

"You bet!" Gunn said; he was always the jokes man; he was looking right back at Cordelia, who was the other odd-dog in the group.

"But it doesn't mean we are not happy you're here. Actually, Buffy, Patrick and I are thrilled to be having you here with us tonight. This is probably the oddest end of the year I'll ever live, so… Here's to a year full of new friends and rollercoaster rides, happy new year everyone!"

"And to barbecues at midnight!" Said Fred giddily, she was down by her third glass of pinot noir too, her family was from Texas and they hadn't been able to come to NY that year, and the Windams hadn't been able to travel either, Wesley had been working even that day, a doctor's wife knew no such thing as holiday.

"And to barbecues at midnight!" Repeated Angel; he was starting to admire Fred a lot; Wesley's wife was very sweet; she reminded him of a younger Buffy sometimes, just buoyant with life.

"I want to make a toast to friendship, may we always have each other!" Wesley said as he held his glass high, they all clashed it together, friendship was something great to be toasting about.

"Hey, look at the watch! It's past midnight!"

"Happy new year!"

"Crap! Now we are gonna be eating all year!" Said Cordelia, abashed to receive the year with a mouthful of meat, and no kiss on the way, she had always spent the end of the year at Aspen-Colorado with her parents, they always booked the most exclusive resort they could afford for that evening, but this year they had decided she was old enough to spend it with her friends, they had gone to France and she hadn't been invited to join them, they were calling it their _second honey moon_.

Couples kissed, friends hugged briefly, mother and child shared a loving embrace, and in the end it was a very promising beginning to the year 2006, it definitely seemed set out to be a bountiful one.

**ZZZ**

"It's four in the morning… so we are going to bed now." Wesley said as he tucked a sleepy Fred under his arm.

"Me too." Said Buffy, Patrick had fallen asleep hours ago, he had fallen watching Charlie Brown's Christmas special, the boy had acquired that habit with his uncle Xander.

"That means I'm going too." Angel said, rather obviously, since Buffy and he were going to share the second guest room—the pretty attic—as Fred and Cordelia had called it.

"Do you want to stay up a little longer?" Gunn said to Cordelia, they were still talking about their lives, not really interested in going to bed yet.

"Yeah! These seniors are boring!"

"Hey! I'm 26. I'm not a senior."

"Well, if it looks like a duck, and talks like a duck, must be a…"

"Fine then, I guess I'm old now. Goodnight to you all. Sleep well!" Buffy didn't like Cordelia one bit, there was something about the brunette that made her feel less pretty, almost insecure, maybe they way she dressed or her sheer seductiveness, Cordelia was exotic and she made men's eyes turn her way, Buffy caught Angel's eyes drifting towards her cleavage more than once.

"Have a good night too, Buffy! By the way, I had a lot of fun tonight, you guys should do this more often!" Gunn said, he was having a similar conflict, but in an opposite direction; he found Cordelia nice but his eyes had wondered rather sheepishly towards Wesley's wife, there was something about Fred that made him wanna be a different man, Gunn thought Cordelia was pretty, but a bit too forward for his taste, he like quiet little church mice like Freddie. Or perky little minxes like Buffy, Cordelia was to his opinion better suited for a big player like Angel, but he would never voice those comments to anyone, especially not to Buffy; he could tell she was throwing bitchy/envious/daggers eyes towards the brunette, and if Angel had eyes he would've noticed it too.

**ZZZ**

"We are not that old!" Buffy said to Angel as they climbed upstairs, he was feeling aggravated too.

"She's the one who's still a teenager," it was late, it had been a long day, and Buffy had been under a lot of emotional stress the past few weeks, so it was natural to be tired. "I would even call her a bratty teenager. I guess we are sharing the bed?"

"Yeah, do you want to choose sides first? I'm going to sleep like a rock tonight."

"No, you go ahead. I'll take a shower first, don't mind me, I'll be in there for a while."

"Why?"

"I like the bathtub…you can call me a metrosexual, I'm ok with that, I just like the feeling of hot water and relaxing bath salts."

"Ok. _Can I join you_?" That was the booze talking. And some parts a joke too. That tub sounded pretty enticing to Buffy, her muscles were aching from the long day's work.

"Wouldn't that be a violation of our living arrangement?" Angel said as he removed his sweatshirt and jeans.

"Nope, it's a new year; we should consider changing the arrangement to include some booty calls." Buffy said as she unzipped her dress.

"Really? That sounds like a very interesting contract, would you like to make a draft now?" Angel glided Buffy softly towards the bed and finished undressing her as she kissed him on the lips.

"I think I would! Come here…" Buffy pulled Angel by the remaining t-shirt and settled him above her, he was a little flushed from standing in front of the grill for so long, and he did smell like wood-smoke and wine, but it was mixed with his cologne and manly essence, which made him hard to resist, kinda like he was a man from another time, a highlander or a hunter.

"Happy new year. It looks like this one it's going to be a good one…"

"Id said that and more…" Buffy said hotly as Angel nipped the underside of her breast. Buffy giggled, feeling ticklish, and her pleasure sent darts of fire through Angel's body. He wanted her badly.

"I'm dying to have you, Baby. But I'm afraid I'm so very tired, could we leave this for tomorrow?"

"Come on! You are hard already, I can tell… come here, I promise you I'd be quick!"

"That's the thing, Baby; I like it slow… maybe even several times."

"I think you are entirely capable of making me cum more than once tonight. What do you say? Want to test that theory?" To make her point, Buffy fondled Angel's manhood, sliding her hands inside his boxers to graze his heated, turgid flesh.

"You are such a mean woman. Fine, I yield." Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs across her hips, pulling his erection fully against her, while Angel used his hands to caress Buffy's naked thighs.

"You say it like I just pointed a gun to your head to convince you."

"Almost… but you already know I'm always game… even when you are a little drunk… and easy."

"I'm not drunk. I'm just a little tipsy. _Come here, Angel_…" Buffy said huskily; he didn't need more encouragement than that. He knew his body and he knew Buffy's too, it was meant to happen, and it was going to be glorious.

**ZZZ**

Much later that night Angel came back to bed after a shower, he slipped under the covers and spooned Buffy's back, she was still naked, and so was he, her round bottom made a lovely shape under the sheets, she now had the most deliciously feminine curves; as Angel held her pressed to him, he remembered something rather important, he hadn't used protection; he thought he remembered Buffy saying she was on the pill. She had said that, hadn't she?

**ZZZ**

January 2006 

**My son…**

"I knew we would have to talk sooner or later." Spike had invited Buffy and Patrick to meet at the famous pottery store _"Color me mine"_ where Pat was supposed to make something for his grandma Joyce, to send over to California, his other grandma was Spike's mother, she was currently in Scotland, where her new husband lived; Spike's dad had remarried as well, he lived in New York and he had seen Patrick before Christmas.

"Sooner, much sooner I'd said." Buffy pushed the sliding door open and Patrick rushed-in towards his dad. Buffy found hard to believe Patrick himself hadn't notice the fact that he had cheated genetics; he did not look one tiny bit like Spike and anyone could see that.

"Happy New Year, Daddy!" But despite the obvious physical difference Spike was his dad.

"Happy new year, man! God, I haven't seen you in ages. Tell me what you did all these days!"

"Me, mommy and Angel, spent it together. He has the coolest place, with a lake, and a boat…and he gave me all this presents. Ah! And the puppies!"

"Angel has a couple of Golden Retrievers. We've moved-in with him on New Year's Eve." Buffy said keeping her distance from Spike; she still couldn't handle the things he had said and done to her son.

"I'm sure that was just for the holidays, I bet you had fun! When are you coming home?" Spike had misinterpreted the mood; he thought it was a joke, or something temporary, not a firm arrangement… but it was.

"About that…Darling, go pick the frame you want to paint for your granny. I have something I need to talk about with your daddy Spike." Buffy had decided to let Spike know that he would face Angel in court soon; Angel had requested a paternity test and was dead-set on suing for custody.

"Sure, I'll do that mommy, do you want one too?"

"I'd love that; go get me a pretty one!" She sent her son away and he left without a question, he had already experience a huge change of behavior, he was actually acting like a nine year old again.

As soon as Pat left, Buffy and Spike sat down at the nearest table. Buffy had a very serious-shit face; it was obvious she meant to say something particularly important to Spike that day.

"Angel and I are getting married …and he's going to sue you over Patrick." There was no point in beating around the bush there.

"So you moved in with him—what—a week ago? And now you mean to tell me that you are going to eliminate my parental rights? Whoa you are moving exceptionally fast for your type, or is this because you are scared he'll make you sign a prenuptial agreement if you don't hurry?" Buffy's hand itched to slap Spike on the face, but she contained her rage and breathed deeply.

"Well I had second thoughts about this, but now I'm sure…Yes, I do mean that he's going to sue you for _**his**_ parental rights, and since he has me on his side, I'm sure he's going to win." Buffy saying it like that made Spike get pissed-off.

"Do you think I won't fight it? I have a lawyer too. He's legally _my_ son; he's been so for the past nine years!"

"You lost that right, when you started manipulating him against me."

"What?!"

"Don't you dare play coy with me, Spike! Patrick came crying and sobbing to me because you told him I didn't love him; that I would leave him to be with Angel. That I was a whore who was sleeping with Angel for his money!"

"I never said that to him!"

"You said it to me a minute ago!"

"This is a free country, I can say whatever the hell I want… and you know what? It's the sodding truth!"

"You are a bastard, Spike. You don't know what you've done to him. He went so crazy because of the things you told him. He threw his X-box at me, damn nearly kill me!…All these weeks, he's been acting strange, he's been distracted in school, failing his tests, screaming at his teachers, giving me, and everybody else, attitude…It was your fault all along. I can't believe I was so blind!"

"I swear to you…"

"Don't bother swearing. I know what you are doing, using him to hurt me, I know what you think of me, and how you've poisoned him with that! How you've manipulated him to your entertainment…what you've done, Spike… its criminal!"

"I assure you that this is all a misunderstanding. I didn't mean to hurt him, I only wanted to hurt _**you**_."

"What did Patrick misunderstand? How dare you do this to him! He loves you! You have done so much damage… god I can't even look at your face without wanting to kill you!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"That's fine, Spike, do act stupid. I know what I'm talking about. You'll never get a chance to hurt my son again!"

"He's my son too!"

"That's the problem, Spike! You were always lousy as a parent, and I didn't even see it. You should have thought of what this game would do to him. You're tearing him apart; making him choose between us is not fair. And all of that because you can't stand the fact that I never loved you! … You treated every woman in your life like a whore, how can you expect that I would want to be in love with someone like you! Guess what: you are not destroying me, _**William**_. You are destroying _him_!"

"It isn't about you! I love Patrick because he is my son! I would never hurt him!"

"If you _loved_ him, you wouldn't have manipulated him against me…it hurts him. The things you planted inside his head. They scar him emotionally. And I can't forgive you for that."

"So you are just going to give him a new dad?"

"He's not a new a dad, he's _**the dad**_, which you cannot be anymore."

"This is a very fucking-timey decision of yours! What about my rights as a legal guardian?"

"Not anymore, I signed them to you, I can erase them…but, that's not the point, the point is, you screwed up his mind. That's a form of abuse. I can let you around him unsupervised anymore."

"You are going to forbid me to see him?!"

"Not forbidden, _restricted_. From now on, you can't be alone with Patrick, there has to be another responsible, _mature_, adult with you; me, Angel, or somebody else. Until we all go to court and sort this mess out."

"I don't accept that!"

"If you don't…Angel and I will sue you for emotional abuse, you'll go to jail, and you'll never see him again."

"I dare him! Who does he think he is?"

"He's the real father."

"And I'm what? Like a pretend-dad that he got on a cereal box? Call him. Tell him I want to see him!"

"He's outside; waiting in the car…he knew you'd said that."

Angel came out of the car as Spike came stomping angrily out of the place. Buffy stayed inside with Patrick. She didn't want to hear their conversation; she had already said was she had to say.

**ZZZ**

"You wanted to talk to me?! Go ahead, threaten me right here!" Spike said acting all macho with his former best friend.

"I don't need to do that, Spike. You know I'm right. He's my son. What you did to him was criminal. And you are going to pay for it." Angel didn't just stand there, he glared back and even though he was a civilized adult, he was ready to get physical if it came to it.

"I fucking raised him because you were too busy pimping Darla!"

"That's another matter, Spike. Right now, we are talking about you hurting my son and my wife; we are talking about you hurting them when all you really wanted to do was hurt me."

"_My _son! You son of a bitch! He's my son, and you can't change that! You think that you are the fucking Queen of England, don't you? That this is all about you? Guess what, Angelus? It fucking isn't." That barbed Angel alright; he had come with the best interest of keeping it calm and civil. Now Spike had pushed him out of his safety zone.

"Isn't it? What didn't you tell me the truth? You've known where I was all these years. You know what? I've got something to tell you here and now: you are a bloody spineless coward! You are a resented, envious asshole! A worthless shite of a man! That's why Buffy never loved you, even though you tried your best. You raised her bastard, helped her through college, gave her shelter, and she still didn't want to shag you! I can't believe the kind of man you've become!"

"A fucking asshole, that's who I am!"

"I'm not going to argue with that. You've been the biggest asshole in the world for the past ten years."

"I thought you were a reasonable man, but all you want is your pride of Irish stallion restored. You've got the money, the girl, and the boy too. Truth is: you were never man enough for them."

"Pride? You wanna hear about my pride? How about yours? You took my fiancé, and my son, and convinced them to keep the truth away from me, even though you knew I still loved Buffy madly, that I would have gone straight back to her, _and our son_… Had I been told the truth… you destroyed my life! And now you come telling me of pride?"

"If you had loved her, you wouldn't have left her alone! You wouldn't have believed that I had slept with her! Faith and Darla played you all along, and you fell into the tramp like the blind, jealous, fool that you are."

"_**You**_, Spike. _You_ never bother to explain fully and clearly what had really happened that night! You left the charade go on and on. Until you had taken my place completely! Did it make you happy? Was stealing my life worth a great shit? Did it satisfy your curiosity? Did it spoil your envy?"

"Of course not!"

"That's because she never loved you! Because you knew what you were doing was wrong! That I would kill you the minute I found out about it!"

"I did what I though was best for them!"

"You did what was best for _**you**_! You were the selfish asshole that thought a lie so monstrous could go on for years, until Buffy could realize she owed you everything, and then let you have her, like every other whore you've had before in your life."

"Shut up!"

"You invested years of you life creating this fantasy of a future where Buffy loved you, and Patrick was your son, and I didn't exist anymore. You went into denial. So you could make your deceitful pseudo life into reality. So you could finally live with yourself! Guess what Spike! I'm here now. And I'm taking back everything you stole from me!"

"If you are so high and mighty, explain the truth to your son. Tell him you abandoned him ten years ago, that you insulted his mother, and sent her away, that I was just trying to help her!"

"I never did that. You know it! And he will know the whole truth of this matter real soon."

"And you'll marry her! So she isn't a whore anymore! So your son stops been a bastard!"

"I will _marry_ her, because I _love_ her, and she loves _me_, and also because he's my legitimate son; I'll do anything to protect them from you…"

"Fine, then, go have your paternity test, and your whore, I couldn't care less, but know this: Patrick is my son and I'm going to fight tooth and nail for him! And to hell with Buffy and You!"

"Fine!" Angel and Spike kept their aggressive postures until Buffy came out of the store. She had been watching the byplay through the window. She walked towards Angel slowly, unsure of the mood between the two of them.

"Your boyfriend and I came to an agreement." Spike said through clenched teeth.

"What was that?" Buffy said as she stood next to Angel, grasping his hand for courage, she knew this was the beginning of a war.

"We are going to go to court, see who really deserves custody of Patrick."

"That's good; I suppose you know this is going to get nasty real soon?"

"Of course I know, I'm aware of the risks, but I'm also aware of the possibility, I'm sure that if you ask Patrick he'd tell you that he would rather live with me."

"But this is not his choice; he's still a kid, so this decision belongs to a judge."

"Great, I'll see you in court then! I just hope one day you understand how _I _feel about this." Spike left Buffy with the words caught in her mouth; she meant to say she did understand the pain, her own parents had made her take that decision years ago, she had chosen to live with Giles instead; the pain of choosing was too big to even remember it.

"Don't feel bad, baby. This was meant to happen." Angel laced his fingers with Buffy, making her feel his support.

"I know. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less. He was my friend, despite all the stupid things he did."

"What happen? Where did daddy go?" Patrick came out of the store and started looking for his dad; he was nowhere to be found.

"You know him, Pea; he had an emergency, so he just left, he asked me to tell you that he was very sorry but he had to go… let's go make that jug! Angel is going to make one too!" Patrick made a grimace but seemed to buy the lies, he knew something was wrong.

Buffy turned to gaze at Angel then, he was grimacing much like Patrick; he knew difficult times were coming ahead.

"How do you feel about Las Vegas?" Angel had remained staring at street where Spike had walked off.

"I've actually never been there… why?" Angel tightened his hand around Buffy's and smiled warmly.

"Well I think we should go get married there, tomorrow to be perfectly clear…" Buffy couldn't say anything right then and there; it seemed so out of the blue!

"Oh! You want to go to Las Vegas then… I guess we could do that, I'm going to get married in Las Vegas…tomorrow."

**ZZZ**

Well, folks this is the end of chapter nine, have you noticed how much I like cliffhangers? I can tell you that there's plenty of stuff coming ahead, a paternity test, a hearing, a wedding, even a kidnap!!! So stay tuned this story hasn't come to an end!

**Don't forget to review**** me!**

**ZZZ**

**Extra: I just love this song; it fits the second part of the chapter really nice. Don't you think?**

**All I Want For Christmas Is You **

**By****My Chemical Romance **

**I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There is just one thing I need  
I don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree  
I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true, baby all I want for Christmas is you**

I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need  
And I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree  
I don't need to hang my stocking, way above the fireplace  
Santa Clause won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day

I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I won't even wish for snow (oh i wont even wish for snow)  
I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe  
I won't make a list and send it, to the North Pole for St Nick  
Won't even stay awake to hear the magic reindeer play

Cause I just want you here tonight  
Holdin' on to me so tight  
What more can I do?  
oh baby all I want for Christmas is you, oh baby

Oh how the lights are shining surrounding everywhere (surrounding everywhere)  
Where the sounds of children's laughter fills the air  
And everyone is singin'  
Oh I hear those sleigh bells ringin'  
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need  
Won't you bring back my baby to me?

I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for  
I just want to see my baby  
Standing right outside my door

I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you.  



	13. Chapter 13

An: this is yet another extra long chapter! But is kinda very decisive for the future so I hope is worth reading it!

Writer's tip: the second part is really great!

Don't forget to review me! You know I'm addicted to these things!!!

**zzz**

**Chapter 10**** part A**

"**Moving"**

**zzz**

**January 9****th, ****Las Vegas, Nevada**

**East Chapel, the**** Bellagio hotel and casino**

**Moving Along)**

"Don't you think this was a little too much? I mean when I said yes to elope in Las Vegas, I though Elvis Chapel, casinos and Denis Rodman… I'm not sure why I though about the later but I did." Angel couldn't contain the laughter after Buffy said that; he was standing with his bride-to-be right next to him, they were waiting for a peace judge to come in and marry them.

"I don't do small things…" Angel said innocently. The wedding chapel at the Bellagio was anything but cheap, it was beautiful, luxurious, romantic…and unfilled, Buffy had suddenly started reconsidering the whole secret-wedding thing; she would've loved to see her mom there, Patrick and Willow and Fred and everybody else they knew.

"You sure don't… you said we'll throw a party, right? I mean this is incredibly romantic and all that, but weddings are for the family…" before Buffy could continue speaking the judge arrived.

"Oh look at this beautiful couple! You are the prettiest bride and groom I've ever seen! Welcome to the Bellagio I hope this becomes a treasured memory of your life!" The tall man was infectiously happy, he had a huge smile and eyes that infused merriment, quite suited for entertainment.

"I bet you say that to everybody." Buffy said deflating the happy guy's momentum.

"I do. The name is Lorne, you must be Buffy," he extended the hand and Buffy shook it firmly. "And you must be Angelus then." Angel smiled and shook the man's hand as well.

"Well I need to discuss a few things with you, my children; you must know marriage is not as easy as it seems…" began Lorne as he sat Buffy and Angel in front of him.

**zzz**

"Ok, so when does the whole do you take this woman begin? I mean it's great that you've told us so many things, but we _**are**_ paying this by the hour…" Buffy said cutting the long rant, Lorne had been now babbling for over an hour.

"You guys are getting married today? I though you were just going to see the church and meet me!"

"No, we are eloping, we thought we'd just come here and get married, no big fat wedding hassle…" Angel said derogatorily.

"Oh! Well that's something else… well I guess I could do that… but wouldn't you like to buy a white dress or something? I mean you guys are hardly dressed for a wedding. And you are not even drunk, most elopers get…"

"It's not important to us; we just wanted to get married." Buffy said wholeheartedly, but as she said it, she though that a nice family wedding was something she had actually dreamed off, the dress, the cake, the first dance, the hot dark handsome groom and all that; It was something she had idolized in her mind since she was a kid, just like every other women.

"If you don't want to do this anymore you best say so now, I won't be angry, I just hate the fact that…" Angel whispered to Buffy softly so as to Lorne wouldn't listen.

"That we have wasted so much money? Or the fact that things may not go your way all the time?" But Buffy responded out loud, she wasn't too keen on getting married on such a scandalously fashion, as if they had something to hide, she wanted the world to see them do things the right way.

"No, baby. I hate the fact that I made you fly across the country, and leave Patrick behind for nothing… You ought to get your mind off the green ones for a while, Buffy. You know? I'm not getting any poorer because of you. And you said yes to eloping, how I'm I to guess you've changed your mind?"

"Maybe you two should have a little private talk, it seems like you are gonna be in need of a lawyer real soon if you don't." Lorne said, leaving the couple alone in the chapel.

"I want to sign the prenup." Buffy said point-blank.

"It's my money, Buffy. I get to decide whether I want to give it to you or not." That was a discussion they've had a million times before, in Buffy's case the money seemed to be an issue, she had too much morals and pride to marry a guy just for the money and she objected Spike—and everybody else—throwing that on her face.

"But it's not mine! And I don't want it! I told you, I'm not marrying you for your money." Just like Darla had.

"And I told you that I'm not signing a fucking prenuptial agreement with you! Why do we have to keep talking about this? Why can't you just accept that I trust you enough to think there won't be a divorce? And if there is… we'll you'll take half. What's the big fucking deal? You are not fooling me or robbing me in any way."

"If you already think there could be a divorce, why bother getting married?"

"It's not that I think, it's more like I fear…Buffy, we need to get married, not just to sue for custody properly but to make your position of mother of my child and heir perfectly clear, I have no problems with you getting half my money, all of it if that's what should happen… I love you. I want to be with you and nothing but that matters to me." Buffy didn't respond to that, she saw his side but she couldn't bear the thought of losing him after all they've been through, she thought the prenuptial would help establishing the fact that she wasn't a gold-digger.

So Angel continued speaking. "And we will throw that big party you're planning on the back of your head, anything and everything you want, just bear in mind that it will take something close to six months to do it properly… I don't wanna wait that long to call you Buffy O'Quinn… but I will if that's what you want."

"Buffy Summers-O'Quinn," Buffy sighed and determination took place on her heart again, she wasn't going to let all that money go to waste, she was going to get married right there and then. "Ok, you are right, we need to do this; just like we need to establish the fact that we are responsible adults and that we will take good care of Patrick, this is important…"

"I like that; it has a lovely ring to it… Buffy Anne Summers-O'Quinn… sounds like someone important, like a senator for New York State…" Buffy thought that Angel had rather high expectations for her but she said nothing, it did sound rather dignified. "Should I go call Lorne back-in then?"

"Yeah, go call him back."

**zzz**

"So do you Angelus take Buffy Anne to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

There was no point of delaying his answer; Angel wanted Buffy to be his wife since he first met her, when they were just kids going to elementary school. Angel had wanted Buffy to be his woman for so long that he refused to remember that infamous day when he had married Darla, that had been a huge wedding, one year of planning, eight hundred guests and so much money thrown away that even Angelus had think of it as excessive.

"Do you promise to honor her, protect her and cherish her for richer or poor, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse until death shall do you apart?"

Death, that one had certainly almost done them apart before.

"I thought the richer part wasn't going to be an issue anymore." Angel said amusingly. It was obvious that Lorne had noticed Buffy had a problem with Angelus' money. "I do. I promise I'll love her and honor her for the rest of my life."

"And do you, Buffy Anne take Angelus to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I'm not sure…_maybe_?"

"I'm afraid is a yes or not question, darling."

"I guess I _don't_…" Angel squeezed Buffy's fingers harshly and glared at her, how could she be getting cold feet after all they've been through? "I do! Ok, I do! I take you as my husband… but know that I feel as though I will regret this very soon."

"And do you promise to obey him, to honor him, to respect him and to cherish him in sickness or in health, for richer or poor, for better or for worse, until death shall do you apart?"

"Mhm that seems like a great deal to ask, don't you think? Besides, you didn't ask him if he was going to respect me or obey me! That seems sexist to me."

"Boy I so don't envy you this one!" Lorne said sighing and puffing. "That's not the point, Buffy. Besides you already said yes."

"I'm going to say you made me marry him under false pretenses."

"I don't know how you put up with so much resistance! Well maybe this will make you feel better… can we see the ring, Angel-cakes? _Soon_…" Lorne said urging Angel to produce something to calm the bride's jitters.

"I was thinking about a new one but I though old, borrowed and blue seemed appropriate…do you recognize it?" It was Catherine O'Quinn engagement ring, her blue heart shaped diamond on a platinum band. It was the ring Buffy had thrown back at Angelus that infamous day of April 1995.

"I do." Buffy was a little taken aback, she thought he had lost that ring, or worse than he had given it to Darla!

"Looks like you scored one…" Lorne whispered to Angelus, as Buffy gazed teary-eyed at the ring, not voicing any complaints for once that day.

"I don't have a ring for you."

"We'll get matching ones when we get back home. This one has special meaning for us, doesn't it?"

"It's more than special; it's a symbol of our love… I though you had given it to Darla."

"Never, it was always meant for you… you and no other." Before Lorne could say you may kiss the bride Angel wrapped his hands around Buffy's face and smacked her with a kiss of sheer passion.

"Well—not that you care but—by the power invested in me by the state of Nevada and the Bellagio I pronounce you husband and wife… now you may kiss the bride… again."

"Thank you… well look at you, little Mrs. Buffy Summers-O'Quinn… I knew I would make you my wife one day… I always knew." And yet another kiss of mind-consuming passion followed, and this time Angel carried Buffy on his arms under the threshold ceremoniously and walked her across the hall and out of the chapel, where a brand new world awaited.

**zzz**

**January 13****th****, Jewish Medical Center NY**

"Is just a check-up, Darling. There's nothing to be worried about." Buffy said to Patrick as the nurses took blood out of his veins to perform a paternity test.

"But I told you I'm fine, mom!"

"It's just so I'm certain, baby. I'm having one too, and so is Angel. Don't you want to be sure that you are healthy?"

"But I know I'm healthy," Angel came inside the lab and sat next to Buffy. "Angel, aren't you healthy too?"

"I am! Well I least I think so, but it's always important to have a few of these tests every year or so. And if we were about to get sick we should know early, that way we could be sure and we could even stop it from getting us real bad… don't you think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, _fine_." Patrick wasn't convinced, he thought it was unnecessary and stupid, he wasn't sick and he was damn sure about it.

"You are a very good boy, Pea. You'll see that everything is going to be just fine." Buffy said and the nurse placed a little bandit on Patrick's arm.

"Is this because you two got married?" Patrick said considering the options and the reasons why his parents would think he was getting sick. "I told you I'm ok with it, I'm not sick about it."

"It's not about that, Pea. It has absolutely nothing to do with that." Buffy said calmly as Angel got his own arm poked.

"Is just a precaution, Patrick. Is not related to Buffy and I getting married, it's just to be sure… in fact I didn't want to tell you this, but since your mom got her new heart she's been taking medication that makes her very vulnerable to diseases, you and me are the closest people to her, so we need to stay healthy, so we can protect her."

"I didn't know that." Patrick said deflated, he thought Buffy was perfectly fine now that she had a new heart.

"This heart I have in my chest, it's not mine; it belonged to another person, Patrick. It belonged to somebody who died and then donated his organs. I need to take these pills that make me weak so I don't reject the heart, so I just _**need**_ to be sure neither one of you is having any kind of virus o bacteria on you, just to be on the safe side."

"Ok, mommy. You can poke my arm all you want; I swear I won't get you sick."

"I know, baby. Come here, give mommy a hug!" Buffy opened her arms and Patrick walked into them. "I love you, Patrick."

"I love you too, mommy."

"We are done here; the results would be ready in no less than three weeks." The nurse said as she gave Angel the invoice he should use to collect the results of his paternity test in three weeks.

"Thank you! We'll see you in three weeks then." Angel said as he placed the invoice on his wallet.

**zzz**

**Four weeks later…**

**February ****10****th**** 2006**

"I need you to sign here, Buffy." Gunn said; Buffy and Angel were at his office, beginning the legal actions to change Patrick's name, legal guardianship and custody.

"You'll take this to the court house, and then we'll have a preliminary hearing right?"

"That's right. I have here the results of the paternity test and your marriage certificate, so I'll take this to the judge and they'll probably notify William and his lawyer when the actual trial begins."

"Is there a chance that we could settle this without going to trial?"

"I don't think so, you told me he said he was going to fight to the end to keep custody of Patrick; in fact I believe he's going to counter sue you for full custody, so I think we best prepare our case with all the necessary evidence."

"You are right, he's never going to just step aside and let us take him, he'll fight and it won't be pretty."

"But you guys should know that you have all the legal precedent, Buffy is the mother and Patrick is still very young, so she'll probably gain the sympathy of the judge… and you both are the biological parents, legally married, both responsible adults… so this case should be easy. We'll talk some more about the nasty angles this could take next time we meet, ok? … Oh and just so you know, I called another lawyer to assist us, she specializes is civil law, you guys know I'm more into corporate law and business stuff, her name is Lilah Morgan, she comes highly recommended from Wolfram and Heart."

"Great, we'll let you do your work then. Give us a call when you get the ball rolling, ok?"

"I will."

"Thank you, Gunn."

"Oh don't tell me that… I haven't told you about my insane fees yet! I'm sure you won't thank me after that."

"It's ok, Gunn. We are pretty sure we can afford whatever you throw at us." Buffy said, flashing Gunn with a wicked smile and a wink. The new Mrs. O'Quinn was getting the hang of having the power that comes with a great deal of money.

"Eh, Gunn, don't you try and con me, I know how much you can ask for this kind of service, and I also know you calling that other lawyer means that you are doubling the fee…I'm going to pay, but if you don't play nice, I'll might have to call another stock broker." Gunn had been Angel's financial advisor for over seven years now, he was Charles biggest client, and to lose him would be devastating for his reputation.

"It's because of that, that I called Lilah, I can't afford to lose that trial!"

"Good, that's the spirit I want you to have, losing is not an option… give me a call when things get going."

"No problem, boss."

**ZZZ**

**A wife of sorts (moving back)**

A lot of things had changed those two months of Buffy's Life, now that she was Mrs. O'Quinn: 1) she had officially moved-in with Angel to their new home; 2) Patrick had been transferred to a new school in Catskill; 3) Buffy herself had a new office; 4) Angel had bought a star-up clinic, remodeled it and change the name to Faith O'Quinn memorial clinic for cardiothoracic surgery and pediatric specialties; he had acquired 40 of the stocks, as well as the right to choose his interns, attendants and nurses, temporarily speaking he was the chief of all, but later he would become Chief of Surgery and CEO of the company holding the stocks. In this brand new clinic Buffy and Willow had important places, Buffy was supposed to be in charge of the psych wards and Willow was going to be chief of Pediatrics. 5) For Valentine's day, Buffy and Angel had planned a party to celebrate their wedding, Buffy's mom was flying over with Dawn from California, Buffy's dad was invited but he said he wasn't going to make it, Giles said he'd love to but he couldn't make it, that he would expend his vacations with Buffy, Angel and Patrick in July, but at the moment it seemed impossible to fly over the Atlantic in the middle of the week.

Then the only guests to RSVP were: Wesley and Fred, Anya and Xander, Willow and Tara, Cordelia, Gunn, Joyce and Dawn. They were going to redo their vows and to make it more official, Lorne had even offered to fly over and remarry then for a very small fee.

Nor Darla nor Spike had been invited, there was no reason why they should, but several NY society diaries had called the wedding '_a surprising marriage of love for the shady multimillionaire/hot doctor Angelus O'Quinn'_ and then they had even framed it with a picture of Buffy and Angel having lunch, and then shopping for Claddaghs at Tiffany's.

They also said Buffy's engagement ring, the blue heart, was worth an estimated hundred thousand dollars since it was a very rare dark blue diamond, and it had been passed down through the O'Quinns as an heirloom, the previous Mrs. Catherine O'Quinn had been very well known for her charity foundations for children of war and war refugees. So Buffy was caring a jewel with history written on her finger. Then it was easy to presume Buffy and Angel had every reason to believe Spike and Darla knew about their recent nuptials.

That day, Angel had been assigned temporarily to Adult Emergency, since the hospital hadn't created a department of Cardiovascular Surgery or anything alike, he was doing paperwork when a certain patient showed up at the ER with accurate abdominal pain, and referred that her doctor was Angelus O'Quinn, and that she was _**his wife**_.

Angel got paged immediately, imagining something was wrong with Buffy he ran. She was actually working at the same place that day; so it was easy to assume she would have checked-in if something had happened to her, something seriously wrong…

The possibilities started running through Angel's mind. The last one was the scariest. What if she also had fever? What if she had unstable blood pressure? What if she was rejecting the organ?!

Good God! Angel was petrified to phantom that possibility!

"Where is she?" asked Angel to the RN (registered nurse) as soon as he arrived at the ER.

"Curtain five. Here's her chart." He didn't read it; he just jumped into the cubicle.

"Angel! I'm so glad to find you!" He was astonished to say the least.

"What are _**you**_ doing here?"

"I'm sick! I have a terrible pain! Right here… God, please help me, Angel."

"What kind of pain?" He started reading the charts. She had suggested something that appeared to be appendicitis.

"Like a hot grip that's twisting inside me." Since she had a very high fever, Angel asked for a full blood chemistry test, white cells, red cells, any sort of chemicals that could produce her that kind of pain, etc.

"Lay down, I'll get you something as soon as I know what's causing the pain."

"Angel! Don't leave me alone please."

"I'll be back in a minute, _**Darla**_." Angel left the room and as soon as he was out the door he sighed heavily. He couldn't believe Darla had showed-up at his hospital! He had been so scared thinking it was Buffy. What a bleeding nerve she had! She had used her married name! Told everyone she was _his_ wife! The woman just couldn't accept it was over between them.

ZZZ

Angel came back an hour later, with the results of her exams. She didn't have appendicitis. Now that they had given her ibuprofen, something for the fever and antibiotics she was better, but she was going through something else.

"What have you done the last 24 hours, Darla?"

"A lot of things. Why?"

"Having an abortion was one of them, a bad one at that, Right?"

"I swear to you I didn't…"

"Don't swear to me. I'm here like a doctor. You went to some bogus health clinic yesterday, took some illegal pill, went back home and got drunk, waited until the contraptions started, a while after that you started bleeding like a guttered pig, when it stopped you felt like hell and you started having fever, and then you came here, because you were scared, I am right?"

As policy required, whenever a female patient checked-in with abdominal pain, a pregnancy test was done. Darla's had turned out positive, obviously. And her alcohol levels were also high, proving she had taken more than just a glass of wine the previous night.

"Yes. Pretty much… Except I came here because I didn't know where else to go!"

"You have pieces of the birth sac still inside you. That's what causing the pain and the fever. I'm sending you to Obstetrics, since _you know_ that's not really my area."

"I'm sorry, Angel. Please come with me! I'm so scared!" He had been married to the woman for years, to hear her like that, tugged at his heart strings, a little.

"Why did you do it? Specially like that. You should've gone to a professional. You placed yourself under a great deal of danger. You know?"

"I do! But, I just couldn't have it…the waiting patiently for the doctor, and sitting in the weird chair with my legs spread like that! I just went for the pill. It was the easy fix."

"That's the story of your life, Darla, always going with the easy exit… I'll go with you, under one condition."

"Anything,"

"You must never play with you life like that again. And you have to go to therapy. You have a problem with alcohol. You must take better care of yourself, Darla. You are not a teenager anymore, this drinking and partying irresponsibly has to stop … I don't want you dying like Faith did." He said the last part in a hush. Not really wanting to accept it, his ex-wife was in danger of becoming an addict, and a suicidal one too. That was too much to bear.

"I swear I will. Please stay with me! I can't stand been here on my own."

"Fine, I'll stay, but just for a while, if another emergency comes in, I'll have to leave."

**ZZZ**

"So, why did you get an abortion?" Darla had been taken to Obstetrics to have the remaining birth sac removed, and then placed in a private room. Angel had stayed with her all the time.

"Because I didn't want it and neither did Lindsay. He left me …because I told him the truth that you and I were divorced, and you wouldn't raise the baby with me."

"You were keeping all that a secret? I can't believe you. Why didn't you keep it? It was your baby. You should've taken responsibility of your actions for once. I said that I would've given you more money."

"It's not enough, Angel. I wanted a family. You know I can't do this alone. I'm not strong like that. And I didn't want to have a baby. I only wanted it because you wanted it too."

"Not like that, Darla."

"And certainly not now, not with Fluffy on the picture."

"Her name is _**Buffy**_. And she's my wife now…"

"I knew you'd marry her, you are the kind guy that needs to have security. You know it's not going to last. You can't be faithful, and she is nothing but a gold-digger."

"You're wrong twice. I _am_ faithful, and she is _not_ a gold-digger."

"Fine. Go try your 2.5 kids with her! I'm sure you're sterile. All these years you never got me pregnant! Had to be that lowlife asshole-lawyer Lindsey Mac fucking Donald. Have you thought of that? Considered the fact that you might have no sperm at all?" Angel knew that was a lie. He had sperm alright, and good one too.

"You always had a taste for bad boys. This time, it just bit you back in the ass."

"You and I were so happy!"

"_You_ were! I was the most miserable man in the world!" Angel's beeper started blaring right that second; he had another emergency to attend to. "I'm done here…you will spend the day here, and tomorrow you'll be released. I hope you start taking better care of yourself, Darla, as you promised me."

"Run back to her. I assure you, you'll think of me when you fuck her tonight."

"You've turned petty with age, Darls… maybe it's about time you start thinking about the big picture. You aren't going to be young and pretty for the rest of your life… now that you are single, what are you going to do with your life? Now that you've wasted your best years hovering above a cheating husband and spending money that wasn't your own… whatcha gonna do now, Darl?"

"Go to hell!" She tossed the remote towards him. It missed his head, bouncing of the wall inches away from his foot.

"Goodbye, Darla." Angel smirked and closed the door behind him, considering if he should tell Buffy what had happened that day.

**ZZZ**

"Are you going to get Patrick, or should I?" Buffy said as she opened the door to Angel's office without knocking, she was visiting him unannounced, hoping to surprise him with two lattes and muffins. He had just arrived from Darla's room.

"You go ahead, I have some paperwork to do, and I'll meet you home in an hour?" Angel took the coffee and one muffin and continued writing. It was close to 5pm, the day's work had nearly ended.

"Sure. Want me to get some takeout? I don't feel like cooking tonight."

"Anything you want is fine."

"Are you alright? You're looking a little pale? Are you sick?"

"I'm fine, baby. I'm just a little tired."

"Ok, I'll make you some chicken soup then. I guess I'll see you home?" Buffy left feeling a little silly, maybe he didn't want her visiting him like that, maybe he wanted to be ultra professional an pretend that she wasn't his wife at work, maybe he was having some space issues.

"Ok, baby." Angel on the other side, felt guilty, he should've have told her the truth, she deserved to know about Darla's abortion. But he thought it was pointless, and it would start another argument, now there was no way to prove Darla's baby wasn't his. Whatever he said, it would be damning under Buffy's eyes, keeping quiet wasn't good either. But it was less harmful that way, right? He had just gotten married a few weeks ago, he was technically still enjoying the honey moon, that sort of justified not talking about Darla, right?

**ZZZ**

Day before Valentine Buffy and Angel went to Hartford, Connecticut to buy Buffy's wedding gown and Angel's tuxedo…

"I need to tell you something, darling."

"What is it, Angel?"

"It's about Darla, I wasn't sure if I should even tell you. But, it's important."

"Tell me then."

"She had an abortion."

"Oh my God, Angel! I'm very sorry, Darling. I can't believe she did that. Why?"

"She didn't want to have the baby. She said she wasn't ready for that."

"Well, I don't know what to say... Are you sad?"

"No, of course I'm not. I told you. It wasn't my baby. It was Lindsey's. And he didn't want it either."

"Still, Angel. She was your wife. Aren't you sad for her? …And you are Irish Catholic too. You can't be pro-abortion."

"You know I'm not. And she's my _ex-wife_…I'm not sad. What I am, is angry. I can't believe how irresponsible she is. How selfish, even if it wasn't mine. That baby was innocent. Life isn't something to be playing with."

"I know. I understand. She shouldn't have done that." Buffy placed her hand on top of Angel's thigh. He relaxed a little as she touched him.

"I love you, Angel. You know?"

"Of course I do. I love you too." Buffy leaned-in towards him and kissed him on the temple.

"I wasn't going to tell you about Darla's baby. But, I just realized lying would get back at me …sooner or later."

"Good of you to realize that! Why? Why were you keeping that from me?"

"I don't know. I'm just afraid…of losing you. I just don't wanna screw up this marriage and I know Darla is one of those things that could break us apart again."

"Don't snow me like that. Was it your baby? Is it that? Or is there something else? Is there someone else? Tell me the truth, Angel. Do you still have feelings for her?"

"You are a bloody terrier, woman! I told you. Her _child_, was not _mine_…and there's _nothing _else, will _be_ nothing else, between us…_ever again_." Angel spoke slowly, and evenly, making clear to Buffy his every word, emphasizing his innocence in the matter. Perhaps he was highlighting it too much?

"_Why_—when did this happen?" Buffy was going to say: Why bother keeping a secret then? And thought better of it, but there was definitely something shady about Angel's behavior.

"Last week. She came to the hospital, asked me to stay with her…couldn't say no. Could I?"

"No, of course not." Buffy wasn't certain. His logics seem a bit faulty to her. Though, his first answer was a lot more sincere. He was afraid of losing of her. She knew that for a fact.

More so, was he really over Darla? He had been divorced, what, six months? That was a rather short period of time; one could even say 'rebound'.

"Let's not talk about Darla anymore. It's pointless. We'll never get her out of our lives. Let's just forget about her. Let's not give her power over us, ok?" Angel said firmly, intending to end the argument, but it still seemed to Buffy as though he really wasn't.

"Ok…I love you. You know? Baby or no baby, Darla o no Darla, I love you just the same. You are my husband; you must know that I trust you blindly. And I'll not let her get between us either, never again."

Angel turned his eyes from the road to look at his beloved for a second. He knew that she loved him deeply, but it was damn good to hear it. He loved Buffy the same way.

"And I thought you had married me just for the great sex." Buffy smacked him playfully on the leg. He was incorrigible. "And the money too!"

"I can't say those things didn't help a bit. The sex was particularly important." Buffy wasn't going to deny she enjoyed been able to stop worrying about the bills, or the fact that she was having the best sex of her life. "Seriously, Angelus O'Quinn, I love you, not for the great sex, or the money, or the scrubs. I just love _you_, plain, neurotic you. You know? …It seems to me, you might need some reassuring now."

"I know, Buffy. I love _**you**_ more than life itself, you must know that I'd die for you. You are the most important person on my life. And I trust you blindly too." The heaviest silence came between them then, it was obvious Angel was a little insecure and so was Buffy, she felt insecure about so many things that she didn't even know was she was secure about anymore.

**zzz**

"We had fun today. Didn't we? Bar the last five minutes." Angel said restarting the conversation again; Buffy was used to Angel's change of mood by then. "In fact, I think it was great. We should do it more often. Don't' you think?"

"What? Go shopping for a wedding dress to Hartford?"

"No you silly-girl! Go out. Be just the two us. No work. No Patrick. Just you and me."

"I guess…" Buffy realized that maybe the honeymoon wasn't as honeyed as she had thought; they _**were**_ constantly interrupted by Patrick, the clinic and the thousand other things going-on on in their hectic lives. "Do you fell like we never have time for us?"

"Well, there's a lot going on, and Patrick does tend to create a vortex that sucks the entire world around him, but he's a great kid, I don't resent the attention you give him. But don't you feel like he likes to barge-in?"

"He's a kid, that's what kids do…" Patrick didn't like the though of Angel and Buffy sleeping together and he tend to get up in the middle of the night and wander around the house just to remind them of his presence.

"We'll come around that. He's growing so fast that I'm sure he'll be a teenager in no time and then we'll be the ones barging-in on his life."

"That's true." Buffy wanted to ask if Angel wanted to have another child with her, but she felt shy and silly asking that, he probably didn't. "I think is great that you guys get along so well, but keep in mind that you'll become his dad sooner or later, so you should think about setting limits, he shouldn't think that you'll be the easy, fun-filled, layback father that he can play around all the time, he should respect you and listen to you."

Angel didn't know what to say to that, so he kept quiet, it was true, he wasn't supposed to be Patrick's friend, he was supposed to be his father.

**zzz**

"So do you wanna talk more about other things? Girls always have something they wanna talk about, and it shows them that you care about the relationship… before you ask I read that in cosmopolitan."

"You are right, talking is nice, and it's also important to have a better relationship…"

"So is there something you want to talk about, aside from all the controversial subjects we have already covered?"

"Not right now, I mean I've spoken to you about everything that is important, so… anything else I might want to talk about is menial."

"I don't care, you can tell me anything, baby, even something you think I'm not going to care to about." Buffy didn't say anything so Angel continued. "Is your choice, Buffy. I just want you to know I'm here for you, I love you and I'm going to listen to any sort of thing you want to talk about."

"Thanks… I'm here for you too… in case you have things you wanna talk about."

"We are way too civilized, you know?"

"I know, but we hump like bunnies, so…" Buffy leaned down and grazed her fingers across Angel's crotch.

"Get over here, sweetie. I have something I want to talk you about … something real nice."

"Don't I know what you're thinking? The answer to that: is no. I won't go down on you right now." Buffy was just teasing him, so she quickly went back to her sit and acted like it had never happened.

"You are such a mind-reader." Angel felt a bolt of lust go through him; he wanted to fuck her right there and then.

"Lets just get home…and then you'll _**talk**_ all you want." Buffy said sassily.

"You are also a cock-teaser."

"Don't worry, I won't let you rest tonight, I plan to talk all nigh long, several topics even… Patrick is sleeping over with Xander and Anya." Buffy said licking her lips in anticipation; Angel smirked at Buffy, and gave her a connoisseur's look that bode all the naked longing he had. He would never get enough of her body. He could never tire of her, no matter what Darla or anybody else said or did.

"That's sounds great…"

**ZZZ**

**This is the end of chapter ten part A.**** so can you guess what happens in the next part of the chapter? **

**Let me know if you liked it!**

**The mean kitten.**

**Extra:**

**Famous Last Words Lyrics**

By **My Chemical Romance**

Now I know,  
That I can't make you stay.  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your,

And I know.  
There's nothing I can say.  
To change that part.  
To change that part.  
To change.

So many,  
Bright lights they cast a shadow,  
But can I speak?  
Well is it hard understanding,  
I'm incomplete?  
A life that's so demanding,  
I get so weak.  
A love that's so demanding,  
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

Can you see?  
My eyes are shining bright,  
'Cause I'm out here, on the other side,  
Of a jet black hotel mirror,  
And I'm so weak.  
Is it hard understanding?  
I'm incomplete.  
A love that's so demanding,  
I get weak.

Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

These bright lights have always blinded me.

I say.

I see you lying next to me,  
With words I thought I'd never speak,  
Awake, and unafraid.  
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,  
With words I thought I'd never speak,  
Awake, and unafraid.  
Asleep, or dead.

I am not afraid to keep on living,  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home. 


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **this chapter is dedicated to JessAngelus, who was more than kind to express that my story was almost perfect, thank you, Jessie! And she also said she was going to nominate me for an award, which is very sweet of her, so I hope you like this one! 

**An2**: the theme of the wedding is fairy winter in case you are wondering, it belongs to me and it may be called my own dream wedding. So don't steal it!

**Chapter 10 part B**

"**History is in the making"**

**(Nc17 version)**

**ZZZ**

**Valentine's Day, 2006**

"Xander!" Buffy yelled as she caught sight of him among the myriad of strangers working in and out if the house.

"Isn't this supposed to be bad luck? I mean seeing the bride before the wedding and all that…" Xander said as he encountered Buffy coming down the stairs, already dressed for the ceremony.

"You are not the groom, and I'm already married, besides I need you to do me a favor," Buffy was carrying a gift bag and she opened for Xander to see, inside; there were a bunch of tiny blue boxes that came from Tiffany's. "I need you to give one of these to each guest who arrives."

"Sure, Buff. What's in it?"

"It's a bit of present and something to remember the day by, you are supposed to pull the bells out and ring them when the minister of peace pronounces us as husband and wife again." Xander pulled his own bell out of a box, it was a small platinum bell, engraved with B&A letters above a claddagh symbol, and it came with a card that said:

"_**Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. **_

_**Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. **_

_**Walk by me and be my friend." **_

_**Old Irish proverb.**_

_**In memoriam of our wedding,**_

_**Buffy and Angel thank you for your presence,**_

_**and above all for your friendship.**_

_**February 14**__**th**__**, 2006.**_

"Buffy! This is so sweet, you guys are being so kind, now I'm kinda sorry—I mean—I got you a cheap toaster and all, I didn't just say that, ops Anya is going to kill me…by the way you look so beautiful today!" Xander said as he hugged the bride with deep affection.

"It's ok, Xander, you know how much I value your friendship...no matter what you gave us. By the way, where's Anya?" Buffy had been looking around the house for all of her bride-maids, she had yet to find a single one.

"She's retouching her makeup; I think she's up there with Willow and Tara." Xander said pointing upstairs.

"That's odd, I though they weren't here yet…" Buffy said in reference to Willow and Tara. "Have you seen anybody else?"

"You mean like Patrick and Angel?"

"Well, yes, among others…Dawn in particular, I need to find her soon," as Xander and Buffy spoke the caterers arrived. "I need to speak to the caterers, so when you do see them, give them the bells, would you?"

"Of course, Buffy. By the way, congratulations, I'm sure you and Angel are probably going to be very happy…I mean ten years waiting must be something, right? Wait—does he know about Patrick? I mean Anya and Willow said something but I don't want to burst anyone's bubble or anything like that, not on a happy day like this."

"Yes he does. I told him months ago…we've been dating since then, but Patrick doesn't know, so don't say anything when he's within earshot. We aren't prepared to tell him the truth yet."

"Copy that. I'm gonna go hand-out the bells then."

"Thanks, you are the man."

**Zzz**

"Well, look at all of you! I thought you'd be checking out the tent… apparently there's more to Harry Potter than meets the eye." Buffy said to Angel, Patrick, Dawn, Joyce, Anya, Tara and Willow; who were watching Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban on Angel's huge TV set.

"We wanted to talk to Patrick, and we found him here with Angel, so we sort of got hooked-up on the story." Willow said never tearing her eyes from the screen.

"Hey I know this is a great movie and all that, but we sort have a wedding scheduled in…" Buffy turned her wrist and checked the time on her tiny watch. "45 minutes, so… would you' all mind very much to go downstairs… _**now**_, I mean the caterers, the musicians and waitresses are all waiting for you to go out to the tent, they are kinda needing the guests, you know?" Buffy said as she stood in front of the screen to block their view.

"I think its bad luck to see the bride before the actual wedding," Angel said turning the TV and the DVD off. "So I'll stay here and pretend I haven't seen you."

"But we are already married…besides I kind of wanted to talk to you in private."

"OK, well you guys heard the bride; let's go downstairs…I'm sure we can sneak something out of the kitchen." Joyce said taking Dawn and Patrick with her.

"Before you guys go, Tara had something she wanted to give to you," Willow said as she handed Buffy a jewelry box.

"It's not much, it's just a bit of a t-tradition, my mom had a friend who was Irish and she gave her a l-lucky hankie when she got married, so I thought I should give it to you, since you are getting m-married," Buffy opened the box and true to words there was a small hankie inside, it was made of white silk and embroidered with water pearls. "It's s-supposed to be kept until a baby is born and then you can turn it into a bonnet, and give it to him or her on they day of his wedding. I thought you'd like to h-have it."

"Thank you so much, Tara! That's very sweet of you… I don't know if there will be a baby but I'm sure it's a lucky hankie indeed… I'll keep it safe. Maybe, who knows if Patrick might get this in a few years!" Buffy said as she gave Tara a strong hug.

"That's what I t-thought."

"Thank you, Tara. That is a very strong Irish tradition, you know? My own father gave me a hankie the first time I got married, but I don't know what I did with it. I'll be sure to keep this one around for Patrick." Angel said fingering the delicate piece in his hand.

"We are going to be downstairs, by the way, Buffy. We are all sorry we didn't have time to throw you a bachelorette party! We should've, but you eloped and then there wasn't any time to plan a thing." Willow explained pointlessly, she knew Buffy had planned things that way.

"Don't worry, Wills. We'll have time to throw many more parties later, by the way, ask Xander to give you each your presents…now Angel and I sorta need to…"

"I know; you wanna talk in private. In case I didn't say it before you do look beautiful today."

"Thanks, I tried to."

**z****zz**

"So what did you want to talk about?" Angel said as he checked his tie and his shirt on the full length mirror.

"I lost my vows, I thought I've given them to Dawn but turns-out I didn't!" Angel pulled two envelopes out of his jacket and gave them to Buffy.

"You gave them to me day before yesterday; you said you'll probably lose them." Buffy smiled goofily, she was such a dork, she hadn't misplaced them; she had given them to Angel.

"So are you ready to get re-married?" Buffy asked Angel as she checked her own appearance on the mirror.

"Ready as I'll ever be. By the way, everyone is wrong, you don't look beautiful."

"I don't?" Buffy said sheepishly.

"No, you look dazzling, and radiant, you are the sexiest bride I've ever seen. You are beautiful every day; but today, you are exquisite, _Mrs. O'Quinn_." Buffy felt her blood travel up her neck as he said that, mostly because he said it huskily and he said it as he dipped his tongue on the valley between her naked shoulder-blades, she did look very pretty. Before Buffy could reply to the compliment, there was a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?" Gunn said as he opened the door shyly.

"We are about to come down, but sure, you can come in…" Angel said opening the door fully.

"Oh my god, Buffy! You look so beautiful!" Fred said with shining eyes, she loved weddings and she also cared a lot about Buffy.

"You do look quite stunning today, Buffy." Wesley completed more seriously but not less reverently.

"It's my wedding, so I thought I ought to look my best…"

"You do." Cordelia said less friendly than anybody else had, but she was still being honest.

"Enough of this, people, we have to start this ceremony soon or nobody is going to look decent on the pictures, I've redone my makeup twice, so stop making teary eyes at the bride! I don't have an endless supply of under eye concealer, you know!" Dawn said, coming into the room to steal away Buffy. "You said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I need Dawn. So all of you please go outside and feel yourselves at home, we'll begin in about twenty minutes! And thank you so much for coming!" Buffy said leaving the groom and the guests in a hurry.

**z****zz**

"What's the problem? What did you want to talk with me?"

"I need you to give me these when they ask for it." Buffy said opening her hands to show a small pillow with the wedding bands attached to them by silk ribbons.

"Oh, Buffy! These are so pretty…and they say "_**Buffy & Angel perpetum"**_ on the inside! Oh look at the tiny heart held by tiny hands and the pretty little crown…"

"Dawn, I need you to focus! I'm trusting you with these rings because you are my only sister…so don't you dare lose them! Ok?" Buffy said to Dawn firmly and forcibly. "Now come help me fit my hood, it must be freezing outside.

"I promise you I'll keep these safe as houses! They are so sweet!"

"You better! Those cost Angel a small fortune."

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, dear." Joyce said, coming inside the room. "But Lorne is here already, and he said he wanted to say Hello."

"Oh look at that bride! That's a much more suitable dress, young lady! Now…" Lorne said, holding Buffy's hands away from her body to take a better look at the dress she was wearing.

"We're sticking to the schedule, Lorne; wait for me downstairs, we'll talk all you want after the ceremony. Ok?" Buffy said cutting-off the man; he had a tendency to swallow time when given a chance.

"Ok, looks like somebody is in charge today, I'll be downstairs… I just wanted to say you look beautiful. And that I think is great that you guys flew me over from Las Vegas and paid me a fantastic five stars hotel, thank you… I guess even you can turn into a bridezilla given the right amount of pressure."

"I'm sorry, Lorne! It's great that you are here, we like you a lot, so we did all that to have you here with us. I'm sorry if I've been mean, I'm just kinda getting tired of this whole 'Buffy you look so beautiful today' it's like I've been butt-ugly every other day of my life!"

"That's not true honey, you just look particularly pretty today, don't take it like that, we just want to make you happy… let's just go downstairs, I'm sure that after the ceremony ends you'll let that weigh go off your shoulders." Joyce said as she padded Buffy on the shoulder.

"I'm so glad you are here, Mommy! I thought we'll never be here… I'm just messy today, I don't even know why."

"It's the day of your wedding, baby, it's only natural to be nervous."

"I'm so happy you guys made it."

"Oh, but we had too! You are my baby; I couldn't miss your wedding! So let's enjoy this fine day. Wipe off those tears, tonight you are the star, so shine-up!"

"I love your mom too, Buffy! She's such a great mother." Lorne said joining the mother-daughters hug.

"We know. She's the best." Dawn said matter of fact.

**zzz**

The wedding took place in a huge tent outside Buffy and Angel's house, they had a string quartet playing, and the decoration contained ice sculptures of fairies, it was snowing so people were wearing coats and furs. Buffy was wearing a gorgeous strapless Vera Wang dress made of satin and incrusted with pearls and crystals, complemented with a diamond tiara, pearl and platinum earrings and a white velvet hood in a style reminiscence of medieval/Irish weddings; Angel was wearing an Armani Tuxedo with a silver tie. The bouquet was made of white roses, violets, jasmines and lilies, the tables were adorned with miniature fairy towns, where all the tiny fairies were dressed in white and silver. They served Goose, and salads for the vegetarian, and they drank Crystal champagne.

After the famous wedding march started, all the guests stared at Buffy making her grand entrance; she had decided to be walked through that aisle by Patrick since her father couldn't make it.

Angel received her at the fake altar with a huge, warm, smile; he had dreamed about that day since he was a teenager.

"Welcome my friends! We are gathered here today to witness the renewal of vows of our dear friends: Buffy and Angel, who had decided to rejoin in holly matrimony in this fine winter day." Lorne said as he opened his book of notes.

"It's been said that love is no longer real, that it's something we read about in novels, but I assure you that these two are a testimony of the wrongness of that phrase, the fact is that love remains, and it's as strong and as powerful as it ever was. Now without further ado let us hear you vows." Lorne said ceremoniously.

"This is an old Irish proverb that we'd like to read to you before we say our vows, it's inside the little boxes that Xander gave to you, please read with Angel and me… _Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk by me and be my friend_." Everybody said together in unison.

"May we have the rings please?" Lorne said, and Dawn produced them promptly.

"By these rings may the rest of the world be witness that these two are married, and belong together for the rest of their lives. You may exchange them."

Then it was Buffy's turn to tell her vows:

"**Today, I Buffy Ann join my life to you Angelus, not only as your wife but as you friend and as your confident. Let me be the shoulder you cry on, the friend you laugh with, the keeper of your secrets, the cup in which you drink the wine of this life and the warmth of your heart and soul, so long as we both shall live. Today I begin this journey with you by my side, and I promise you that this hand will never let go from you, no matter what**." Buffy placed the claddagh on Angel's finger, and he kissed her hand.

Angel's vows:

"**Today, I Angelus join my life to you Buffy Anne, not only as your husband but as your protector and as your friend. Let me be the shoulder you cry on, the friend you laugh with, the strength when you are in need, the keeper of your secrets, the warmth of your heart and soul and the man that gives you his life. Today I begin this journey with you by my side, and I promise you that this hand will never let go from you as long as I live."** Then Angel placed the claddagh on Buffy's finger, and she kissed his hand.

"Congratulations, I present you now Mr. and Mrs. Angelus O'Quinn." And then they kissed each other on the lips, as Buffy and Angel kissed all the guests rang the bells as they had been told to. "Those were some of the most beautiful vows I've ever heard, very heartfelt. Congratulations! May you live in harmony for the rest of your life!" Lorne said, wiping a non-existent tear from the corner of his eye and ringing his own bell.

"Thank you! We wrote them together." Buffy said giving Lorne a warm hug, he was the first to congratulate the bride as they separated.

"I shouldn't say this, but I think you are going to make it, I mean staying together for the rest of your lives, you know?" Lorne whispered to Buffy as they hugged.

"Thank you, I sure hope so!"

**Zzz**

Gunn's speech as the best man was excellent, he spoke of how kind Buffy was and how much she had changed Angel, of how she was meant for him, also about the fact that she was so beautiful that Angel should keep and eye on her because she was going to be invited to a great deal of parties with those looks, he said she was the light missing to Angel's life, she was Angel's angel.

And then Buffy tossed the bouquet, Dawn was the one who got it over Cordelia and Joyce who were also single. Then the garter went unobtrusively to Gunn who was the only male who was still single and older than 18 at the party. To close the fine evening Buffy and Angel served an artistic creation of almond/nutmeg/ and Swiss chocolate, it was a cake styled to look like a fairy town and it tasted like heaven. Everybody had eaten twice; Patrick had even served himself a third piece.

The night ended for good when the bride and groom said goodbye to the party and left, Patrick was going to stay home with Joyce and Dawn, while Buffy and Angel spent a week at Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard.

**Zzz**

**The famous wedding night**

"Well Mrs. O'Quinn, seems to me like this our wedding night."

"It isn't, we had a wedding night a long time ago." Ten years ago to be perfectly correct.

"Well, considerate it a new wedding, so that this night must be a new night as well."

"Ok…I'm going to take a bath, so would you like to share it with me?" Buffy said huskily, she felt really sexy now that she was formally married to Angel.

"That sounds like a fantastic Idea." Angel said as he discarded his clothes. They had decided to go to Martha's Vineyard for their honeymoon, a friend of Anya's had recommended a cozy little inn where they would have privacy and romantic spaces in abundance, it was also by the sea so they would hear the ocean howling at night.

"Would you find me the sexy teddy Cordelia gave me, I can't find it… I wanted to wear it tonight." Buffy said bent over the suitcases, she was sure she had packed it.

"I can't find that, but I'm going to find something much more interesting," Angel said bending over Buffy's back to find the zipper on her jean and push it down. "I'm on my way to find a certain wet little thing…"

"Looks like you are going in the right way," Buffy moaned huskily as Angel rubbed her mound above the clothes, conscious of the importance of the night Buffy drank a full glass of champagne just to lose her inhibitions; the inn had given it to them complementary since it was their wedding night and all that. "That feels so good…kiss me; I want you to kiss me." Angel turned Buffy's face to a side and found her neck and cheek, and then he started kissing her lips soundly and wetly. She tasted like Swiss chocolate and champagne to him.

"What do you want me to do, Love?" Buffy guided Angel's hand to cover her breasts, they were round and hard, the nipples turned into pebbles. "Tell me…. do you want me to kiss you? Do you want me go down on you? Do you want me to just make love right now? What do you want, baby?"

"I want you inside me," Buffy said wrapping her hands above Angel's and leading him to touch her breasts. "I want you fingers inside me…"

Angel released Buffy altogether and pushed her softly towards the bed, she fell at the edge.

"Let me just get rid of this…" Angel said as he removed the rest of his clothes and tossed them violently aside, among the suitcases and everything else that was occupying the bed, he felt like a rowdy teenager now that he was finally married to Buffy, he couldn't get over his need to be inside her. "There, now we have space."

"All I needed was you, come here….make love to me," Buffy said as she opened her arms for Angel; he came shiftily, expecting the sweet, supple flesh of his wife to welcome him. "You eyes look so pretty today, like amber, do you know how handsome you are?"

"You are going to make me blush, baby." Angel said as he opened each button of Buffy's silk shirt tenderly, underneath them, her skin was warm and slightly pink, as if she had blushed when he started touching her…just like she had done the first time they made love so many years ago. "You have so much beauty in you, Buffy, not just physical but emotional and you are so important to me, so important that I would lay here just touching you and that alone would make me a very happy man."

"But wouldn't you be happier… if you were inside me?" Buffy said aiding Angel as he removed her jean and shoes, leaving her only in her underwear.

"I would be in heaven…" Angel said as he sucked the little pebbles through the silk bra. Buffy moaned deeply as she felt a hot surge of blood go fast and unbinding through her body, he was biting around her nipple very softly and each time he did that she felt wetness gathered inside her.

"I want you to taste me…I love it when you make me cum…with your tongue," Buffy turned deeply crimson when she said that out loud but it was true and he was more than willing to go down here.

"Naughty girl, I'm going to make you come many times tonight… I was reading something about the g-spot the other day on Cosmopolitan, I think I want to put that theory to the test…" Angel said discarding Buffy's underwear and pushing her up on the bed, so as to both of them could fit inside, and Buffy's hips were placed high on a mountain of pillows.

"G-spot, huh… I think I've heard some of that—Oh god!" Before Buffy could continue Angel used his tongue to draw little circles around Buffy's navel and then go lower, down to her sex, using his thumb to apply pressure to the lower wall of her channel, where the natural wetness was already flowing.

"Tell me if you don't like it, some people say it's uncomfortable," Angel pushed his middle finger inside her and made circles around the soft, wet flesh, in seconds it started contracting rhythmically around his finger. Buffy's response was a deep sigh; she even raised her hips to get her sex closer to him.

"More please…" Buffy gasped as she felt her heart sped up with the riot of sensations that Angel was creating.

"Your wish is my command," Angel said as he inserted another finger and started making a come-hither motion to the upper side of her channel, the area directly behind her clit, a tiny round area that was thicker and harder than the rest, that famous g-spot, which he was never able to stimulate with his tongue due to its position.

Buffy gasped as sensation climbed up, she started feeling taut and heavy as if her limbs were filled with lead, then her back went all taut as he body started screaming for more. Angel continued making little circles around her clit with his tongue until he felt her go all rigid and shake with tiny ripples of pleasure.

Buffy screamed soundly as a hard-rocking orgasm hit her, her entire body went in flame with just a few minutes of that combination of touches, minutes of wild contraptions followed as Angel continued stimulating both outside an inside, much later, Buffy laid down on the bed, incapable of believing such a pleasure was possible.

"I guess the test was checked?" Angel said weighing her flushed left breast on his hand, he was laying beside her on the bed, marveled at the science that engineered women to be that perfect. Buffy had an expression of perfect satisfaction that won over any ice-cream flavor or special shoe sale.

"God that was so…good…can we do it again… sometime later?" Buffy said with a loopy grin, now that she had tasted a new level of satisfaction she wasn't going to let it go.

"You bet…" Angel said positioning his body above hers. "But first we got to have one for me."

Buffy laughed a little wickedly and wrapped her arms around Angel's shoulders. "I'm a little strummed now, maybe….if you do things right, I'll come again."

"Is that a bet?" Angel said pushing just the tip of the manhood inside. "Or is it a dare?" before he could decide which, Buffy raised her hips and made him slide in to the hilt, it did fell hot, wet and tight as hell, but there was no way he would let go of that exquisite sensation.

"I need you to bite my neck…I like it so much when you suck my neck…would you?" Buffy said bearing her alabaster column to his mouth, Angel complied with her request sucking hard on the skin above her jugular. She came, blindly, pulsing endlessly around him, making him tremble as he plunged in and out of her with driving force.

"Oh dear gracious Lord!" Angel shouted as he plunged in deeper, Buffy moaned and wailed as he got faster and faster, slamming her against the bed, as his orgasm approached Angel stop thrusting altogether and stayed deadly quiet, suddenly Buffy felt a ripple go through his body and then the release began deeply inside her body, a warm surge that made Angel heavy and limp as dead.

"I guess we are going to need that bath now…" Buffy whispered as she caressed Angel's head, the hair on the back of his neck was soft, not as spiky as the rest of it, it reminded her of Patrick's hair when he was a baby. And that though was followed by a rush of motherly sensation that nothing could've stopped.

"That was so perfect, baby! I have no words!" Angel said letting his weigh fall on top of Buffy. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes when Angel felt Buffy shuddered and draw a painful sigh.

"What is it, baby? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Angel said as he caressed Buffy's cheeks, she was a mess of tears and run-on mascara.

"No-not at all, it's just that your hair, the one in the back of your head, it's just like Patrick's, like he had it when he was a baby…"

"Oh, I didn't know that…why is that making you cry?"

"I don't know; it's just that, I don't know why I feel so emotional right now, like it is my wedding night and … we are finally married. It just makes me want to cry with joy," Buffy left the tears go unbidden and Angel hugged her closer to his body, kissing her temple as the rush of deep emotions came and went. "The though that I could've had this kind happiness ten years ago and I didn't … it makes want to cry and scream… I was so stupid."

"You made a mistake, but we are together now… that's all that matters… I love, you Buffy. Please don't cry in bed; it makes me feel like an asshole."

"I love you so much, Angel. I love you so much that it hurts inside, when I wasn't with you I felt as though a part of me had been cut out, like I wasn't me anymore, but a shell of who I'd been."

"I felt so lonely without you, lonely even with a woman beside me, and lonelier when the world loved me… you were the only person I wanted to be with. You are the only person I ever loved."

"And now we are…" Buffy stopped speaking because another rush of tears came flowing form her eyes.

"Together." Angel completed at least, now he was weeping too.

"I left the tub ready, so…would you like to bathe with me? We sure need to." Buffy said as she wiped the tears from her neck and her cheeks.

"I'd love too, darling."

**zzz**

Buffy and Angel went to tub and stayed there until they were all wrinkled.

"Hey, you said you were going to test that theory several times tonight, maybe it's time to test it again…" Buffy said as she caressed Angel's manhood under the water, it was turning firm quickly.

"Maybe, but I was thinking about some other positions that I like very much…" Angel said as he licked Buffy's collarbone.

"Which would that be?" Buffy whispered sassily.

"Doggy style, you know how much I like your perky little ass." To prove his point Angel grabbed Buffy's round orbs and settled her right above his crotch, to she was straddling him.

"I'd like that very much… so would you let go…so I could stand up?"

"Mhm, letting go of you, I don't think so…_**Mrs. O'Quinn**_." so Angel stood up fast and grabbed Buffy under the knees and carried her to the bed and dropped her unceremoniously.

"Hey, that was a little rough, don't you think?" Buffy said as she dried herself with the covers, she was still soapy wet.

"Get on all fours, Mrs. O'Quinn." Angel ordered to Buffy.

"_Is that an order_?" Buffy said wickedly turning over so she was laying on her stomach.

"Yes, it is, you are my wife now, you said you would obey me…" Angel kneeled behind Buffy and pushed her up until she was on all four in front of him, with her knees spread apart and her head bent down on the mattress.

"Do we have a safety word?" Buffy said suddenly scared of what Angel would do to her.

"No, should we? I'm not going to do anything that I haven't done before. And I know you don't do anal, so don't be worried, ok?" Buffy said yes with her head but she wasn't sure.

"I'm just going to kiss you, and touch you…" Angel said and true to his words he just kissed her shoulders and caressed her tights, feeling her loose the tension. "And then I'm going to make love to you…"

Buffy moaned when she felt him inside her again, heavy and slick as he was, her own hand of it's own volition went down her and felt him thrust in and out softly, he had no rush so he let her drive the pace by how deep she remained without complaining.

Some ten minutes later Buffy started going very hot and her channel was as wet and as tight as it could get, so Angel took her hand and placed it above her clit again and made her make circles with it, Buffy understood what he wanted and continued. So Angel continue pushing until he felt her scream at the top pf her lungs again, as her third orgasm of the night over-took her, it was hard, and it made her loose control of her knees; and it ended just about the same time as Angel started having his own release.

**zzz**

"Wow, is it always going to be so good?" Buffy asked as Angel spooned her afterwards. She didn't even bother to look for the Teddy again, she just laid there with Angel behind her.

"I honestly hope so, baby…I'm so tired now. Could we sleep? I feel my eyes are closing on their own." Angel had been so caught up on the whole week before the wedding thing that he hadn't slept well in days, now that he was sated all he wanted to do was sleep it over.

"Of course, it's past two in the morning any way, I think is definitely time to be sleeping… I love you, Mr. O'Quinn."

"And I love you, Mrs. O'Quinn." Angel said hugging Buffy closer to her body and wrapping the covers tightly above them, the window was open and through it you could hear the wind howling by the beach and the odd opportunistic sea gull fishing in the dark. It was a lovely lullaby for the young lovers.

**zzz**

**March 1****st**** 2006 **

**LA district court house**

"The honorable judge Katherine Morgan presides, all rise," The officer said as the judge entered the room. "In the matter of O'Quinn versus Frazier, for the custody of Patrick Daniel Frazier, may all be seated now."

"You honor: I'm here in representation of the Buffy and Angel O'Quinn who are the biological parents of Patrick Daniel Frazier and would like to rectify his paternity." Gunn said presenting the judge with all the evidence required.

"So, you are the biological parents and you claim that Mr. Angelus O'Quinn didn't know this fact until thanksgiving last year, am I correct?"

"You are correct, your honor." Gunn responded in representation of his clients.

"You, Mr. William Frazier, have named this child as you own, why is that?" Spike lawyer was none other than Lindsay McDonald. The same man who had gotten Darla with child while she was cheating on Angel.

"Your honor, my client claims that he had lived with Mrs. Buffy Summers for the past ten years, sharing a department with her, and calling her son his own." Lindsay said as he presented the judge with evidence of his claim.

"I'm aware of that councilor, what I'm asking is _**why**_?" The judge was aware of how sneaky lawyers could get, especially Lindsay who was famous for twisting minds at the last moment.

"My client can respond to that better than me, your honor." Lindsay say in order to give Spike the floor.

"I love her, your honor, I've loved her since we were in high school, we had many classes together, we even went to senior prom together, we were inseparable…but then this man over there, Mr. Angelus O'Quinn got her drunk and made her sleep with him just to spite me, nine months later Patrick Daniel came, and I assumed since I've been with Buffy too, that it could be mine, but she never wanted to do the paternity test." Buffy could not believe what Spike had just said, what a bleeding nerve he had!

"Your honor may I have a word?" Buffy asked respectfully.

"You may,"

"This man called William Frazier was never my boyfriend, we have not had sexual intercourse in any form or way ever, and in fact, he and I had never even kissed. He's lying to you. The truth is that he has a deep envy of my husband and ten years ago he prepared a sham were he made appear that we had slept together. Once Angel and I separated under very unfriendly terms he came and tried to seduce me, when I said no he offered me his friendship instead…I was near eight months pregnant then so I took his generosity. When Patrick Daniel was born he took the liberty of presenting him as his son, and I, been the stupid 16-year-old I was, accepted this illegal arrangement. But he knew all the time that my child could never be his, it was Angel's, and nobody could deny that." Buffy showed the judge a picture of: Buffy, Angel and Patrick, the resemblance was unbelievable.

"Alright, this is a case of he says she says…I'm going to rule in favor…"

"Your honor there's more to the case, Mr. Frazier has some serious psychological issues, he's an abusive father, he has abused Patrick and we can probe it."

"Well that seems very much necessary, what sort of evidence do you have?"

"We have the testimony of Lieutenant Kate Locksley who arrested Mr. Frazier D.U.I at thanksgiving last year; the child in question wasn't wearing his safety belt and was seated on the front seat." Gunn gave the report to the judge.

"Also we have the testimony of Miss Harmony Kendall who is an acquaintance of Mr. Frazier and can testify that he uses vulgar language and physical threats to execute discipline on the boy."

"More to the point we have the testimony of Willow Rosenberg who is the child's godmother and is also a pediatrician, who will testify that Patrick has been showing signs of psychological abuse since October last year, and to even further corroborate, we have the testimony of his 4th grade teacher Mrs. Jessica Roland will also testify that the child has been acting different since October last year, that he has express himself in vulgar terms to his teachers, dropped his grades to the point of near flunking the year and even gone to detention more than four days in a row, becoming very close to an expulsion."

"Well Mr. Frazier, I'm afraid I can't toss aside this case, it has a great deal of aggravating things and due to the notoriousness of the biological father I'll might have to move quickly unless I want a spot on Oprah and Larry King Live…so this moves to a formal trial, I'm scheduling for April 5th, 2006 so as to give both teams enough time to gather evidence… also I'm going to need a private conversation with Patrick Daniel before that. So until then, I grant Mr. Frazier one supervised visit a week, with the warning not to discuss or influence the child in anyway. Well, ladies and gentlemen I'll get in contact with your lawyers soon."

"The honorable judge Katherine Morgan leaves now, this hearing is adjourned." The court officer said to all inside the room.

**zzz**

"I can't believe he's got all that." Spike said with consternation.

"Don't worry, we'll fight them, we are going to dig very deep and we are going to find everything they have…you'll see, that child is going to be yours, and Angelus O'Quinn reputation is going to be destroyed for the rest of his life."

"It's not the child that matters to me, it's winning, I want to see them groveling, I want them defeated, crying, begging, suffering down on their knees. Angelus does not know who he is messing with." Spike said snidely.

"It's ok, darling. We'll make it all better, you'll see, Patrick Daniel is going to be yours, I promise you that. And Buffy and Angel are going to drown in their pain." Drusilla said; Darla had gotten in contact with Spike as soon as she arrived at NY back in December 2005, and then she had introduce Spike to her friend Drusilla Graham, the famous fashion designer and gorgeous brunette he was currently dating, Spike was even falling in love for her. He care about her so much that he accepted her to be in the same room with them as the hearing happened.

**zzz**

"That man, Spike's lawyer, that's the guy that got Darla pregnant and then left her." Angel informed to Gunn and Buffy.

"Oh! So that means she's in it too. We should get ready to contradict everything she digs of your dark past."

"That would be wise, also, the brunette besides Spike, she's Drusilla Graham, a very close friend of Darla, so this all may become a media circus real soon, I'd like you to forbid all kinds of discussion of the case in public media, could you do that?" Angel asked Gunn with a worried expression, he knew that if things became public Patrick would see himself submerged in a net of gossip.

"I could, and I'm going to, I'll let you know as soon as the motion is ready."

"Thank you, Gunn. We are going to go home now, we'll see you soon, ok?" Buffy said with another frown of worry on her face.

"Sure, we'll see each other soon then."

**zzz**

**March 17****th****, 2006 **

**Saint Patrick's**

**Code blue (move forward)**

One of those very expensive things that Angel had bought for Buffy at Hartford was her Elle Saab grand gala dress. It was grass-green satin with an underskirt of black velvet and purple taffeta that trailed a foot behind Buffy, it was embroidered with amethysts and black crystal applications, and it had Italian lace at the cleavage. You could say it was quite _the dress_ and Buffy had looked ravishing on it.

They had gone to a charity event that night, for the Yale-New Haven Breast Cancer Institute in New York City, in the morning of that very same day Patrick and Angel had attended the famous green parade of Saint Patrick's day, Buffy had been busy and as you guys know, she hated parades, this time Patrick had behaved perfectly well, he had even bought a few green t-shirts for everyone, in fact he had had a great deal of fun with Angel.

That night, it was the first public event where Angel had taken Buffy officially as his wife; together they had shined up the evening. Buffy had been the talk of night, mostly because she was a knock-out in that dress and she was also not a trophy wife like the lot of them. Fred and Wesley had been there too, and they spent most of the night talking about the honeymoon.

Been a night for fundraising, the raisers had served crab cakes, salmon puffs, caviar, beluga eggs and pink champagne. They had also danced to The Dave Matthews band. And over-all, they had managed to collect near half a million dollars for the foundation. It had been a very successful evening for the foundation.

All great, had it not been for its messy consequences…

**zzz**

On the way home from the foundation gala:

"I'm going to stop at the drugstore," Buffy said, she had been the designated driver that night. Angel had had about five glasses of champagne, so he wasn't good for driving.

"Why?"

"I need to buy some Pepto-Bismol or something like it. I have a terrible heartburn."

"I bet it was the crab cakes," Angel said rubbing Buffy's stomach tenderly.

"I think so, yeah."

"Ok, pull over that wallmart over there. I'll go get you something. You stay inside the car, bolt the doors by the way."

"Sure. Get me something like Theraflu too, I feel like I maybe coming down with something." Buffy had been feeling a little sick for a couple of days, as if she was getting a virus or something like that.

"Ok. Turn the lights down. And don't open the door to anybody." It wasn't very far from home. And the neighborhood they were in was relatively safe. But, you never knew these days, especially when you were driving a Benz.

Five minutes later:

"I think you should drive, Angel. I'm all dizzy and I'm going close my eyes to try and make it go away." Buffy said; she was having a mounting headache and some nausea too.

"Are you ok? What are you feeling?" Angel touched her forehead with the back of his hand, she was a little clammy but not feverish.

"I think its food-poisoning or something like it. My head is spinning and I feel like I want to throw up."

"OK. Scoot over then, you'll let me know if you want me to pull over, ok?" Angel said as he made the drive back home in record time. Luckily he wasn't pulled over for speeding and Buffy didn't need to throw after she had Pepto-Bismol.

The nanny had been watching Patrick, since it was near one in the morning, he gave her a drive. Her name was Amy. She was a candy stripe at the Faith O'Quinn Clinic.

"I'll be back in a little while, Baby. Go to bed. You'll feel better later; I promise I won't be long." Angel said to Buffy; she had taken some Tylenol for the headache, and gone straight back to bed, she had fallen asleep a few minutes after.

**ZZZ**

Around 2:30 in the morning, Angel woke because the bathroom light was on, and it was getting on his eyes. Through blurred images he noticed Buffy standing over the toilet. She was drowned in some kind of contemplation.

He blinked several times, and rose fully, remembering Buffy's earlier state; when he arrived home after dropping Amy off Buffy was sleeping soundly, so he hadn't even touched her afraid that she'd wake up feeling sicker and angrier because he had waken her.

He barely made it in time to gather her hair out of her face.

The sound of strong retching filled the place.

She mumbled something like 'get out' through the sick heaving but he remained beside her, placing a cold cloth to her forehead and gathering her hair out of her face.

She was throwing her guts out of her body, cold sweat was covering her back and trembling spasms were seizing her tiny frame. She was positively green with stomach illness.

"Get out!" Buffy Barked as she collapsed down on the floor, her legs giving away.

"Calm down. This isn't the first time I see barf."

"No. Leave me alone please; I don't want you to see me like this!" Buffy was quite embarrassed. She didn't want Angel holding her hair as she puked.

"Shut up…here, use this." Angel handed Buffy another wet cloth as he flushed the toilet. But it wasn't over. She walked a few supported steps out of the bathroom and then the sickness came back. Making her empty the lasts remains of food still inside her, some were the salmon puffs evidently so by the pinkish discoloration.

Angel held her though the whole thing, feeling a little sad for his love. She was making terrible sounds. It was probably rather painful. He had been food-poisoned once or twice and it was never pretty.

"God! How can you stay there and watch over that?" Buffy asked with bitterness, he had placed a pony tail around her long locks, preventing them from getting soiled with barf. And he was holding a glass of water in case she wanted some.

"Because."

"Don't you want to throw up too?"

"If I had that weak of a stomach… I would have never become a doctor. Relax, Buffy, you'll feel better now. Is it all out?"

"God I hope so!" Buffy rose slowly from the floor and washed her face, feeling immensely better now it was out. She crawled back to bed and collapsed like a rag doll on the mattress.

"Come here." Angel said as he sat next to Buffy on the bed and gave her a little purple pill, with a glass of water.

"What's this?"

"Nexium. You'll need some protection on your stomach. It looked like you threw up some bile there. That stuff burns your esophagus, so this will stop the heartburn from coming back."

"Thank you… I'm so sorry you saw that."

"Don't worry. That was husbands are there for; remember the whole in sickness and in health? Lay down now, baby, you'll feel better real soon." Angel said as he placed a pillow under Buffy's head and then caressed her belly tenderly.

"I feel so dizzy. The room is revolving around me."

"It'll go away, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths. You'll feel better soon, doctor's promise." Angel stayed rubbing Buffy's stomach as she tried to sleep, it sounded rowdy to his ears like she was going to be sick again later.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Buffy whispered as the heartburn dissipated.

"It's alright, baby. I'm here for you."

"That feels so great. The massage I mean, it feels great." Angel was caressing her abdomen in small circles right above the epigastrium, which was the place above the navel where the stomach muscles resided, where nausea was supposed to start.

"It's and old Irish magic my grandma told me."

"You are a silly little Irish man. Go back to sleep. You have lots of stuff tomorrow, I'll be fine."

"Sush…I will sleep when you do. You just rest; I'll keep an eye over you." Angel stayed up until she fell asleep again, noticing this whole episode with a detached eye, adding to one frightening conclusion…

Buffy was pregnant again.

They'd had protected sex when they remembered to do it, but, not all the time. Never since the wedding, which was probably the reason why she was pregnant in the first place, it had been eight weeks since Buffy's last period; which amounted to early January or late December, perfectly set for conception.

Angel remembered that it had only taken one night the first time, so this might be just that easy. Buffy wasn't thinking that. She thought it was just a stomach virus. As a doctor this second-baby prospect scared him a lot but as a father he felt amazed. He loved Buffy to death, and that might be putting her in unnecessary risk. He didn't need another baby. Buffy might not be able to go through the pregnancy. He started wondering what he should recommend her to do. More so, what he would _beg_ her not to do.

He was doctor. He knew of the risks of both having it and losing it. But should she set her mind in having it, he would watch her like a hawk. Made sure she was never in danger of losing the heart. He didn't have to suspend the medication. In truth, she had the past in her favor. She had done it before. Why shouldn't she do it now, when everything was in the right place? She could also decide not to have it. And as doctor he would agree that was very reasonable. But as a father, he would be devastated. He needed his second chance. And he was absolutely positive that Buffy wouldn't get an abortion. She didn't do it when she had every reason to. Why should she now?

One thing or the other, Angel was sure of one thing, Buffy was pregnant with his child again.

**zzz**

This is the end of chapter ten, Folks!

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Another chapter will come to you next Friday!

Don't forget to review me!

**An: this is the last sweet/mushy/tender chapter you'll read, so cherish it, what comes next is drama! Now you've been warned!**

**The mean kitten.**

Extra: this one of my favorite songs of all time, I can't tell you what I feel when I hear it because is just so especial and emotional that it's beyond words! Look for it at youtube it's the best love song ever written by a rock band, in my honest opinion. I love you, Jason Wade!

"**Everything" **

**by Lifehouse.**

Find Me Here  
Speak To Me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything,everything  
You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything, everything.  
You're all I want you're all I need.  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

zzz

**An: this song was previously used by Ducks on her mega-story "Something Old" just in case this rang a bell. I just love it too much. And it fits the chapter to the hilt! ****Anyway thank you for reading this far!**

The mean Kitten.


	15. Chapter 15

**An: sorry I couldn't update this Friday! I had problems with my connection …so I'm sorry. But here it is, better late than never, right? I hope you enjoy it, DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW ME!**

**Chapter 11**

"**Loud with feelings"**

**A week after chapter ten part B…**

"Oh crap!" Buffy murmured with a panicked tone as she stood over the bathroom sink, she had vomited yet again than day, so she had decided to take a test.

"What's wrong, Darling?" Angel said as Buffy stashed the home-pregnancy-test inside the top drawer, and left the bathroom door closed behind her. Angel was getting dressed for work a few feet away from her, he didn't notice her disguise maneuver.

"I broke something in there."

"Was it glass?"

"No, not at all, it was stupid. You go finish getting dressed; I'll make you some breakfast, by the way that color looks great on you." Angel was wearing a maroon shirt, with jeans and a leather jacket.

"Are you alright? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine! It's like you said: once it's all out, I'm all better again." So Angel assumed she had just felt morning sickness again.

"Ok. Why don't you stay home a little later today, sleep some more, it's only six thirty in the morning," Buffy glared at him like he had just grown two heads. "Ok, that's clearly not an option, so go get something to eat yourself, and do wear something warm today, it's hailing out there, I wouldn't want you catching up a nasty cold or anything."

"I'll be sure to do that, _Daddy_. I hadn't noticed it was so cold, I'll be sure to put on a jacket before I go out, ok?" Buffy said a little sarcastically, she knew she shouldn't get sick. "Would you like some pancakes? I feel like pancakes with chocolate chips today." That made Angel even more suspicious. That sounded like a craving to him.

"Sure, go easy on the chips."

"You've got it…Patrick! Are you getting ready? Angel will be down any minute!"

"I'm coming!" Patrick shouted from the shower; Angel drove Patrick to school every day, and Buffy got him back in the afternoons. The boy was a slot in the mornings, taking his royal time to get ready. Thank God, Buffy didn't have to share the bathroom with him anymore! Even though, her new roommate had a few more disturbing morning habits of his own.

**zzz**

**At the Clinic…**

"I have here the test you requested." The nurse said to Angel as he requested the results of some blood tests for his ER patients.

"Thank you, Dahlia." Angel responded with a friendly smile before he opened the envelope and read the result of the test. "Are you sure about this?"

"Positive, I double-checked it, knowing it was for you."

"That's very odd, aren't brothers supposed to have about 80 similarities of genes… or something like that?"

"They are, which leads me to believe Faith wasn't your sister in any way," The nurse continued as she read further down into the report made by the genetics department. "Look at this, you don't even have the same blood type, she's A- like your wife, you are B+ like Patrick."

"Are you sure about that, Buffy's blood type and my own?" If that was true Buffy was in a great risk of developing a rare disease that would make her miscarriage, because of her body having a different RH than the baby's, and more so because she had been exposed to the +RH with Patrick.

"I'm very much positive, I didn't forge this, _please_, you got to be kidding me; you are the big boss here, I'd never lie to you." Angel took another look at the test and the awful truth of him hit him. "This means I can't donate an organ to Buffy if she needs it, right?"

"You can't even donate her blood, I don't know how is it possible that Faith was such a close match, I suspect you yourself are not an O'Quinn, you said she had a paternity test and she was your dad's…so maybe you aren't?"

"That's a wicked twist of fate…" Angel sighed deeply and saved the file on his briefcase. "I need to get back to work, thank you, Dahlia, I guess now I know."

He wasn't an O'Quinn after all; God knows who had slept with his mother thirty years ago. Faith had been illegitimate but biological, Patrick also had been like that and now he was legitimate, problem was his father wasn't an O'Quinn, so what did that make them?

Wow that was quite a thread of hearts, and now Angel was sure he could never be able to donate his heart if Buffy rejected the one she was living with.

Angel had never prayed actively for science to be wrong twice. Once for his unborn child and twice for his own wife… hopefully they weren't in any sort of real danger, maybe the other baby would have Buffy's blood type; maybe she'd never reject the organ, so many maybes to rely on.

**zzz**

"I thought I told you not to come in here." When Angel arrived at his office, he found a very naked Darla waiting for him at his cubicle. Apparently Cordelia—his brand new secretary—had let her in.

"This doesn't matter darling. It's just a little surprise I have for you, for old time sake's." Darla was wearing a red tie—only that—and her expensive Prada heels, she was sitting at Angel's desk, with her feet propped up on top of Angel's laptop computer.

"Get your clothes on, and leave. And do it fast or I'll call security on you." He thanked all the Gods Buffy hadn't seen her like that.

"I thought we were going to be sex-friends!" Darla was the most insolent, out of place, woman Angel had ever met.

"You thought very wrong!" He threw her pants and blouse over her face and pulled her into the restroom. He wondered when Darla had come to that conclusion. When they were still married wasn't possible.

Why now, was the hell was she trying to get with that?

"Aren't we together again?"

"Have you lost you mind, Darla? I hate you! Get dressed and get out!"

"It's because of Fluffy. Isn't it?! Damn bitch! I'm going to get back at her!"

"You stay away from her! I warn you!"

"What are you going to do to me?" She said it sassily, aiming to seduce him.

"I'll fucking disfigure you! You hear me? Stay away from her! You only deal with me, ok?" Darla took his threat seriously. He had always had quite a dark side about him.

"Fine! I need my weekly check and I just wanted to give something in return—you know—for all that money you've been sending me." He took the checkbook out of the top drawer and made her one for ten thousand dollars. He wanted her gone quickly.

He held the piece of paper in front of her hands, and even though Darla was tempted into pride. She grasped it and putted it inside her pocket. "See who came begging after all? Are you sure Fluffy is a whore? Like _**you**_are." Angel could be the most cynical man in the world sometimes, and Darla had definitely been a witness to that.

Darla didn't say anything back; she just left in a hurry. She was feeling the sting of Angel's words. She definitely didn't envy Fluffy anymore. Angel was a son of a bitch. He was the one who should be punished. Not the poor bimbo having to sleep with him.

And in all that time, Angel never mentioned the fact that Buffy was his wife now, that he had married her, maybe he should've, Darla wouldn't have thought so wrongly if he had.

"Hell!" Angel sat down heavily at his desk. He wondered if Darla would ever understand it was over between them. What did she want anyway? What had she thought she was going to get with sex, it couldn't be more money, he was giving her fifty thousand dollars a month, ten thousand a week, that was a heck of a lot of money to expend, what was she doing with all that money anyway?

**zzz**

Cordelia came back about half an hour later. When she was about to get back into the office, Buffy arrived.

"Hello! Where are you going to, summers? Do you have an appointment today? I don't think so." Buffy was dumbfounded. Cordelia had physically stooped her dead in her tracks. Who did she think she was? Fred and Wesley's secretary or not, she had always been quite annoying. "You come here and wait until I announce you; boss is busy with a patient."

"He called me, Cordelia; he said he wanted to meet me."

"But I left the patient in there with him half an hour ago, some blonde woman." Cordelia hadn't made the connection of Darla, she felt like she had seen the woman somewhere but she didn't remember a single encounter months ago.

"Wesley and Fred are in Tahiti. They sent her over here. Apparently, she's a great assistant. That's why I was calling you; I forgot to mention that today is her first day." Angel said, coming out of his cubicle as he heard Buffy and Cordelia outside his office.

"I'll give her the benefit of the doubt." Buffy said dismissing her.

"Come in, baby." Angel opened the door to his office and Buffy walked in, never losing the murderous expression towards Cordelia.

"By the way, Cordy, the suitable clothes on a hospital are not those. Don't dress like you are going to a bar next time you are attending my husband." She had been wearing a mini skirt with an angora sweater, showing her midriff, her belly button, and her long tanned legs too bloody much for Buffy's taste.

"Boss?"

"Do wear pants tomorrow, Cordelia. You'll catch a cold in that outfit." Cordelia drove Buffy instantly mad. She said she _**liked**_ working with Angel, and would love to _**assist**_ Doctor O'Quinn with his up-coming practice, since she had so much experience with hot-shot doctors; her boss was temporarily on Tahiti, enjoying a long vacation of two months. How very convenient for Miss Chase, right?

Buffy's jealous mode went on further as she noticed Cordelia rearranging Angel's pictures on his desks and his files on a filer that hadn't been there before.

Angel was a little amused. He didn't really like her, and would never leave Buffy for a harpy like that, but watching Buffy making possessive displays turned him on.

Buffy gave Cordelia a murdering look as she closed the door to Angel's office forcefully. She did not agree with Cordelia's meddlesome style; Cordy noticed Buffy was wearing some very stunning shoes, Christian Louboutin, by the soles, which made the brunette go very green with envy.

Cordy thought Angel was wasted on a regular girl like Buffy, he deserved a supermodel or an actress, A guy like Angel should never get married, kind of like that hunkie George Clooney. The wedding band just made them even more desirable, the whole wanting what you can't have and all that, wasn't he just honey to the bees like Darla and Cordelia?

**zzz**

"Have I mentioned that I hate Cordelia Chase?" Buffy said in a very aggravated tone.

"It's a temporary thing, Love. She'll go back to Wesley in two long moths."

"It's going to _temporarily_ drive me insane! Besides, you said you didn't need an assistant."

"Don't pay attention to her." Angel said as he sat Buffy on his lap.

"You called me?"

"I did! I had this great idea, where you came…and sucked me under the desk."

"You called me for _that_?"

"It's been five days. I'm getting kinda of rusty, baby."

"It's been four days. And, I've been sick."

"You are not sick now."

"You called this seduction?"

"No, I called _**this**_ seduction." Angel grabbed Buffy by the neck and kissed her roughly, she responded with passion, melding her tongue with his, nibbling his lower lip, wrapping her arms around his neck, after a few seconds she released him to change her position so she was astride him.

"That feels so nice, they are so sensitive…" Buffy said as Angel fondled her right breast under the clothes, as he grazed her nipple it turned hard against his hand, becoming more turgid as he did the same to its left twin.

"Just how sensitive are they?" Angel said as he went beneath the cotton to grasp the actual nipple, she grinded her body against his with natural arousal, feeling the erection beneath the jeans poke at her, but as she felt a pang of beginning awakening she realized where they were and stopped his roaming hands from going any further.

"Let's not do this here, I'm sorry, I'm just funny like that… can we wait 'til we get home, I mean—I'd love to do it here but I have work, and Cordelia is right out there, so I'm kinda inhibited, you know?" Buffy said apologetically; Angel thought she was right even though he would've loved to do it just to spite the brunette.

"You are not sick anymore, are you?"

"Oh, no! But I have to tell you something."

"Shoot me,"

"It's related to this…thing we do all the time."

"Like What?"

"You knocked me up… again." Buffy said matter of fact, there was no point beating around the bush anymore, she was positive; Angel and she were going to have another baby.

"_**Did I**_?" Angel said as she caressed Buffy's lower abs, he felt her tense a little, she was hardly noticeable, just a little more firm, a little more round, perhaps even prettier given the fact that she was carrying for the second time. "How do you know?"

"I took a home test…and then I came here, and took a blood test…they both came out positive." She took the paper out of her back pocket and gave it to him; it said Buffy Summers, gravindex test, HCG hormone on blood: positive.

"Oh…that's great, right?" Angel's heart started to beat faster inside his chest. "I mean I love that you are pregnant, but are you happy? Have you though about what you are going to do?"

"I don't know how I feel; I feel weird, a little funny even. But I'm definitely happy about it, I want it." She bloomed in goose bumps as his hands covered her hip to hip, he had such large hands. "How do _**you**_ feel, Angel?"

He couldn't answer it at first, a little caught up on the feeling of this small growing life that was part his, that was all safe and warm inside her right under his hands, and then when he did his voice broke mid-sentence. "I don't know… joy. I'd call it sudden joy—like my heart is going to explode out of my chest."

"Oh." Buffy sighed feeling like she was going to dissolve right there and then, into his bottomless chocolate eyes. "I guess you are happy then? Do you want to? I mean I didn't ask, we never talked about it… it's so stupid, we were careless and we never talked about it, that's not very responsible of us, is it?"

"It was like an unspoken agreement, I guess, I knew it could happen, I just thought you'd be the responsible one… that's no excuse either; I just thought you would…"

"That I would be careful, like the time I took the day after pill, that's probably the only time I've used that method in my life, it's awful, made me puke like crazy."

"Have you …?" He began and stopped unsure of wanting to know the answer to that. "Have you had sex with many other men before?"

"I feel like there's no good answer here—but lying is always wrong, so the truth is: there's only been you, I dated and sometimes I thought about it, but I never had sex, it felt so dangerous, I never wanted to deal with the risks again, so I didn't. It felt so much easier like that, uncomplicated."

"You've never…in ten years, how did you manage that? I know how much you like it, how did you stand not having it for so long?"

"I have a…vibrator," Buffy felt her cheeks go red as blood with shame, and Angel didn't help with the loopy smile and astonished expression. "I mean I _**had**_one before we got together."

"Oh…that's so—I mean I like that you didn't but…"

"But never having a long lasting relationship with anything better than a plastic penis says a lot about me, right?"

"Maybe you weren't meant to be with anybody else? I don't judge you, it was a hard choice, if I were a woman; I'd probably be like that too. To be saddled with a kid after one irresponsible moment… that's a lot when you don't love that person." Buffy felt like she was burning with shame. "Let's not dig into this; It's in the past now, you didn't want to have sex with other men… that's fine with me, more for the greedy, so you are pregnant again, how that's that feel?"

"You're starting to sound like a shrink." Buffy sighed, considering how she felt. "I feel fine, a little nauseous, a little heavy, a little crazy, I don't know, I just feel, you know? Just been able to feel it's great, I can say it, I don't have to hide it, I can just feel it out-loud … right?"

"Of course! I'm going to be loud with the feeling too…whatever that means."

Buffy checked her watch, she had an appointment and she'd be late if she didn't leave. "And now …I have to get back to work." She pushed his hands out of the way and stood in one fluid motion. For a second she saw colors. Conscious of her dizzy moment, Angel wrapped his arms around her, in case she fainted.

"You alright, baby?"

"Yeah, I just stood too fast." He turned her around and kissed her soundly, but gently, hugging her briefly, placing a large hand on her lower belly so as to spawn her hip to hip again, he loved that feeling, holding a small life on his hand.

"Oh I'm sorry, my pager it's ringing, are you really alright?" Angel said checking his pager.

"I said I'm fine. I'm just a little dizzy, nothing to be worried about."

"It's Cordelia. She says I'm needed at the ER." Angel said without too much enthusiasm. "I guess you have to go now, right? I have to do the rounds. But this is more important. Do you want to talk more?"

"I'd love to. But I have an appointment in ten minutes too!"

"Don't worry, we'll talk later." Angel said as he caressed Buffy face, before she could protest they'd be late, he kissed her again, effectively silencing her. "I don't want you to go away now, I just feel like there's so much to talk about."

"Don't worry, we'll talk later…kiss me goodbye, daddy." Buffy said as she wrapped her arms around him again.

"Shit, I have to go now." Angel's beeper rang again; he had a patient on the ER.

"I guess so; I'm going to use your restroom for a moment, ok?" she needed to fix her makeup and pee; she had forgotten how awful it was, having to pee all the time because the baby was pressing down on the bladder.

When Buffy was ready she came out of the restroom. Angel had been talking something over the phone. The door was open then.

"Boss, I'm sorry. But the patient—Darla Stevens—left this…" said Cordelia, barging in on the pair. It was a silk La Perla bra, wine red with applications of black lace and push-up structure; it was quite sexy, definitely expensive. Nothing Cordy or any other woman would ever leave behind.

"Darla?" Buffy caught a side of something else red and black, it was coming out of Angel's desk, down on the lowest drawer, Darla had also left the panties that went along with the bra, and Buffy just out of curiosity opened the small trashcan underneath Angel's desk, sure enough, there was an used-condom there.

"I wasn't going to…" Angel started but couldn't finish it, the evidence was so very condemning in his eyes that even he would have though he was guilty.

"You weren't going to tell me she came by? That you fucked her here….say some twenty minutes ago?"

"Of course not! …You are pregnant!"

"Don't you dare treat me like that, Angelus O'Quinn! I can't believe this; you better have some plausible explanation."

"She wanted us to fight."

"Well, she's got it!" Buffy screamed, tossing the garment to the trash. "Does Darla have some sort of heart condition, because other wise I just don't see a reason why she should take her clothes off here?"

"She doesn't."

"So she took her clothes off because you wanted to fuck her?"

"No! Buffy, I swear to you…"

"I'm not prepared to have this conversation right now. I'm going to go back to work and pretend that I didn't see this…we'll talk about it later, ok?"

"Buffy, please let me explain."

"You don't need to, it's pretty obvious. I guess people were right, you _**are**_ incapable of being faithful." Buffy said painfully as she closed the door with barely restrained violence.

"Buffy, wait, please come back here!" Buffy walked by Cordelia snidely, stomping her heels on the way out, and shoving the door closed as she was out of the office altogether. She was flashing daggers with her eyes.

Angel thought she looked glorious, with all her mounting anger, but she was also damn justified in it, all the evidence said Angel had cheated on her with Darla and Cordelia had been the buffer. He should have told her about Darla's visits, now anything he said was going to come out wrong.

"You are fired!" Angel screamed to Cordelia as he ran following Buffy.

"What!"

"You heard me! Get your stuff and get out. I can't believe your stupidity. That's my pregnant wife seething out there…because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!"

"Buffy is pregnant! ... I thought Darla was a patient of you. She said that!"

"My God, Cordelia, you are so dense! That's Darla the bitch form hell, my fucking ex-wife!"

"I'm sorry, Boss. I thought you two were _friends_! It will never happen again!"

"You bet, because I'm getting a new secretary. I regret the day I told Wesley you could come and work for me!"

"I really need this job!"

"And I really need Buffy."

"Let me try to fix this! I'll go talk to Buffy! I'll make her understand."

"Don't you even _**think**_about it…here, buy yourself a new brain." Angel handed Cordelia a hundred dollar bill, and left her speechlessly alone at the office. No wonder he had had such a rude reputation back at the hospital! "I'll go fix the mess you made."

**zzz**

"Anya! You look great today! Have you lost weight?"

"Thank you for noticing! I'm on a pineapple only diet. I've lost three pounds already!"

"That looks great on you, darling! Is Buffy around?"

"I thought she was in your office,"

"That was a while ago." Buffy was coming in behind him, she spun around and got right back where she came from. Too bad Angel had followed Anya's concerned look. He had run downstairs while Buffy had taken the elevator.

"I'll see you later, Angel." Anya said forlornly, he didn't bother replying, he just followed behind Buffy's steps.

**z****zz**

"You are no match for me, baby! I'm taller and faster… besides you're practically running, if you slip and fall, I'd feel terribly guilty."

"That suits you for cheating on me with Darla!" Buffy kept speeding up as fast as her pumps would carry her. "And you're cockier too!"

"That's a no-end way, baby."

"It isn't. I'm planning to throw you out the window!"

"You'll have to kiss me goodbye first…besides you'll be accused of murder… you don't want that on your conscience."

"I'll never kiss you again! Lying… cheating… manipulative _**jerk**_!" Buffy stopped running and stood motionless for a second, just to catch her breath. "You called me to have sex, and then rubbed in my face that you've done it before with Darla!"

"I never did that."

"But you did!"

"You know this is a deceit she's played before, I did not have sex with Darla, and you know that."

"But I saw it, the condom, the panties, the bra…"

"Did you see me actually fucking her?"

"No, but I…"

"_I have no trust in you, I fall for the easy lie and I seem to forget how much my husband cares about me_…"

"But you keep lying to me about her!" Buffy screamed with indignation.

"I don't want to, but I do because I can't stand the thought of losing you over her!"

"How can I trust you like that? It's only been a month since we got married, Angel. And yet you lie to me again. Am I not enough for you that you to have to keep going to Darla?"

"I don't go to her, she follows me around constantly; she wants to ruin our marriage!"

"Well, at the rate she's going, she'll probably get what she wants in less than nine months!"

"Buffy please don't say that! I was married to her for years I can't just stop talking to her altogether, pretend like she doesn't exist, just because you are my wife and now because you are pregnant too."

"Then things are not going to work for us, Angel; I can't have Darla making me doubt myself all the time… I'm sorry, Angel. I just can't stand this situation. It's me or her; you can't have your cake and eat it too!"

"What do you want me to do then?"

"I want you to push her away, she feeds-off the feelings you still have for her, and she uses them to try and break us apart, can't you see what she wants?"

"I do, and it scares the crap out of me, but at the same time… I just can't let her go… I feel responsible, you know how that feels."

"Right, I do know, so as long as you feel like you owe her something she'll keep this destructive behavior…I'm going to go to work now, Angel. This is a no-end way for us … in more ways than one."

"Buffy…I didn't even touch her. She came to get her paycheck, her alimony for Christ sake's. If she left her bra and her panties and that dirty condom, it was because she wanted us to fight about it. I gave her the check and sent her off. Cordelia did most of the talking. And _that's_ the whole true." And yet he knew it wasn't.

"Do you still want her?"

"Darla? You have to be kidding me. I told you how it was between us."

"But do you still _**want**_ her?"

"I never did! I only want _you_. You and no other. It's been like that my whole life. But you got to know it's hard to break away…It's only been a month since you and I got married, how could I be that much of a jerk! I love you; you know I wouldn't cheat on you."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Buffy! What's wrong with you?"

"Come on! She's driving me crazy. All I can see is Darla, with her perfect manicured hands, and her perfect blood red lipstick wrapped around your cock, she has you all figured out, she plays you constantly and you don't even see it…"

"As interesting as that sounds, I said a vow, I'm a married man, and I love you! I'm getting very frustrated with this whole issue. Have you absolutely no trust in me? I am telling you that there's nothing going on, I swear!"

"I do trust you! It's Darla I don't trust!"

"That's not something I can change, Buffy. _**You**_ are the only one who can control that." Angel said coming closer to Buffy to hug her. "She's not only getting us to fight; she's destroying your self-confidence too."

Even though the evidence was obviously planted, Buffy still felt angry about it. She knew it wasn't real, it couldn't be real because Angel never wore condoms any more, and he had called Buffy right about the time he was supposed to be fucking Darla, and people had seen him collecting those test around the same time too, so he had to be innocent.

"I know that deep down, I'm just prejudiced and anxious, and everything is so confusing, and we have to keep jumping trough hoops all the time, and now I'm pregnant again—Are you happy—about the baby I mean? I keep thinking it's too soon…that I'm risking my health, that maybe you don't want it?"

"Are we even on the same page, Buffy? Of course I'm happy! We are married and I love you, it's only natural that we have children. Mind you, it worries me a bit that you keep going on these emotional rollercoaster rides." Angel said as he caressed Buffy's back, she let him hug her but she felt angry and stiff to him. "I saw you showing symptoms weeks ago. And I kept quiet; I wanted you to tell me on your own terms."

"Why?"

"I thought you might decide not to have it, and I didn't want to influence your decision."

"Oh! That's very thoughtful of you—what symptoms?"

"I _did_ learn math in high school, Buffy. You're nine weeks late. You last period was during Christmas… I could approximate when you last ovulated too."

"I hadn't thought of the exact day we had…"

"You'd have to be really stupid not to notice been that late, which you aren't. I shared a house, a room, and a bathroom with you. And I also make love to you almost daily. I'm not as blind as not to notice the little changes. You knew, but you weren't sure, you though I'd be angry about it, so you waited until you could be truly positive."

"You've really been _watching_ me!" Like a hawk didn't quite cover it. "I haven't noticed any big changes, my god it's been nine weeks already, that's…"

"October, maybe late September," Buffy gasped and her heart skipped a beat as he said that, he had counted, and counted down as far as the actual birth date. "You look different, taste different, and even smell different too, baby."

"I smell!"

"Not like that. It's sweeter. Trust me, Buffy. I knew you were pregnant a long time ago… but I had certainty last week when you were up and down first sick and then eating like you've been starved. I was just waiting for you to come to the same conclusion."

"You don't think that I did it in purpose, to bind you to me? I thought you'd be like that, that maybe you'd be angry with me."

"I'm already bound to you, Darling, Baby or no baby." Angel said wrapping his arms strongly around Buffy, making her feel his strength and protection. "Please, Buffy. You know I'm with you all the way. There's nothing going on with Darla. I swear I did not cheat on you with her. I never have. And I never will. It's only you that I want and love. Do you believe me?" Buffy sighed as two long tears winded down her face. She had wished dearly he'd said those words.

"I do! God I do believe you. I have to, because if I don't, it would tear me apart. I trust you, because I love you with all my heart, I have faith in us, I do!"

"I know that. I'd never do anything that would hurt you! I'm here, because I Love _**you**_. I can't live without you anymore. It's not about Patrick, or about this baby. It's about how I feel with you. How much you've changed me. You must know how much happier my life is since you're here, all of you…" Angel said meaning the unborn baby and Patrick too.

"Would you look after us then? …Be a daddy?" Angel felt a knot tie itself around his throat. He would love nothing more than doing that.

"Yes. I would."

"I love you, Angel… _we_ love you. Please don't let Darla come between us again. I can't live without you any more, I love you so much. You can't imagine how much it hurts seeing you care so much about Darla." Buffy hugged Angel with all her might as she buried her head on the hollow spot on Angel's chest. He felt cool tears warm his shirt, and then he felt like a royal bastard. What was he doing with the love of his life?

"I love you, Buffy. I'd never hurt you on purpose__" He said it again in earnest way. "I promise I won't let Darla come between us again."

**zzz**

**Innocent**

Darla visited Angel again that day, during the afternoon; as soon as Buffy left her office to go to the cafeteria, she scurried inside Angel's office again. She couldn't wait to break them apart now that Angel had probably gotten into a fight with fluffy because of the little love reminders she had left behind.

"Buffy?" Darla came in without knocking. Angel was on call so he had just stopped at his office to get his cell phone before going to the OR, he felt the constant staccato of heels clapping on the floor.

"No, it's me, Darla. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you trouble."

"What are you doing here? I thought I told never to come back here! Get out! I've had enough of you dropping in like this."

"I came to tell you I'm checking into rehab today. I've realized I have a problem with drugs, you know? I used them to escape reality. I guess I just feel so unhappy all the time."

"You need that."

"I thought I should come tell you I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you; I should've accepted that you are with Buffy now." Darla started crying before she even realized how much of a good actress she was.

"You should've. It's good to realize you are wrong. It's the first step to recovery, to recognize your mistakes."

"I know; I should've never cheated on you! You were such a good husband!"

"It's a little late for that talk, Darls, and I'm leaving right now, I have to go into surgery, so would you please leave?"

"And you were my friend too. You helped me out of trouble so many times! You keep helping me. I don't deserve it!"

"I care about you, Darla. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know. That's why I'm going to stop. I'm going to clean up!"

"I'm very happy you've decided to do this."

"Would you give me a hug? I feel so lonely since Faith died…"

"Come here. It's a brave thing what you are doing. You'll feel better when it's all over; I know you and Faith were close."

"I don't know how to thank you for being such a good friend."

"Just get better; Darla. You know I'll always be there for you." Buffy came in without knocking and found Darla and Angel hugging. She had heard the last sentences, startled into speechlessness herself. He'd always be there for her? Then what on earth had they talked about all morning?!

Darla had seen Buffy coming down on the other elevator same time as her a few minutes ago, except Buffy had wheeled around and gone back to her office, she wanted to show Angel the first sonogram of their baby before she left to go get Patrick.

"It's not what you think…" The power of the image was worth a thousand words. Darla had been crying. Angel was completely dumbfounded, not knowing what to say or do.

"No! Of Course it isn't! _I can't believe you_! Her! Of all the women in the world! You swore to me there was nothing going on!"

"Buffy please come back here! Let me explain!"

"You don't deserve the right to explain anything."

"Of Course! Buffy let me talk please!"

"It was nice seeing you again, Darla." Buffy said with a great deal of pain on her voice.

"Bye, Buffy, it was nice seeing you again, too" Darla said snidely.

"What do you mean? Buffy!" She left angry and disturbed, slamming the door against the hinges, crying her eyes out as she left Angel and Darla together.

"You are going to pay for this, Darls." Angel said menacingly, he had a surgery scheduled, so he couldn't afford getting petty with the blonde, but he would make her pay never the less.

"Oh, I hope so!" Darla said watching him with cattish delight over a captured mouse, she had gotten just what she wanted, them fighting and Buffy hurt, sad and alone, vulnerable.

**zzz**

Downstairs, at the parking lot, somebody was waiting for Buffy… "Get in the car. Don't say a word or I'll shoot you!" 

"Take my purse, I have money in it, take the car too! Just don't hurt me."

"Shut up bitch!" The man grabbed Buffy by the nape and shoved her roughly into the Benz; she didn't have time to duck so he smashed her head to the edge of the car hood. She dropped like a stone unto the leather with a bleeding gash on her forehead, right above her left eye, dripping a constant red river against the camel-colored leather.

**zzz**

Angel tried calling Buffy on her cell phone as soon as he came out of the OR, but she didn't answer him. He wondered how he was going to fix that mess. She had looked so hurt when she felt, so devastated.

Angel cell phone rang near an hour later; it was a video message from Buffy's captors.

"We have your pretty little wife, and we are going to kill her if you don't deposit fifty million us dollars on an account we are going to send to you in exactly 24 hours. Say hello to the camera, Mrs. O'Quinn…" In the video Buffy was tied to a chair, her forehead and eye were black with coagulated blood. At least she had been conscious, even cursing to the camera. "By the way, don't call the FBI Mr. O'Quinn, or you'll never find her corpse…"

"Fucking shit! Not now, God, not like this. I can't take this right now. Not her, please let no harm come to her. You can do anything to me, just don't hurt her!" Angel said as if he could talk to the captors face to face.

Angel dialed Gunn's number a minute after and told him he needed the money wired to a temporary account where he could transfer it quickly, he said it would take a couple of hours, but not a day, twenty-four hours were too much, he would die of pain, worry and rage in that time. She could be hurt already, that blood seemed so realistic, maybe they were playing with him, but maybe they weren't, maybe she had been hit with some kind of sharp object, maybe she had a concussion, maybe she was scared, maybe…maybe he was loud with the feelings of wanting to kill the man who had kidnapped and hit his pregnant wife.

And yet, Angel had something else on his mind other than just justified rage, Buffy's heart medication, she was supposed to take 100mg of prednisone daily and he knew for a fact that she took it with dinner, he didn't want to fathom what could happen if she missed that doze several days on a row, he knew kidnapers tended to play the relatives until unbearable desperation, he was there already, he didn't need more pressure to slip, in fact he had already fallen into a dark abyss of pain…

**z****zz**

**To be continued! Stay tuned!**

**End of chapter 12…**

"Uninvited" by Alanis Morrisette 

Like anyone would be  
I am flattered by your fascination with me  
Like any hot-blooded woman  
I have simply wanted an object to crave   
But you, you're not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting  
To watch the stoic squirm  
Must be somewhat heartening  
To watch shepherd need shepherd  
But you you're not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory  
I must seem greatly intriguing  
You speak of my love like  
You have experienced love like mine before  
But this is not allowed  
You're uninvited  
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy  
I need a moment to deliberate


	16. Chapter 16

Dearest readers:

I regret to inform you that this Friday there won't be an update, I've been exceptionally busy and thus I had no time to write more than a few lines, so I must move the update forward to next Monday, in which I can promise you there will be a fine update as the ones you all are used to, my sincerest apologies. With nothing else to address,

Your's truly,

The mean Kitten.

PS: In you want to kill me please do so by sending me mean-hearted feedback aka flames to me email, I won't be mad, I promise.


	17. Chapter 17

An: this chapter contains very adult themes. You've been warned. Chapter 12 

"The hours in between"

Zzz

"Where's mom?" Patrick asked to Tara as he noticed his mom wasn't the one picking him up at school that day. "Is something wrong with her?" He didn't wait for a plausible explanation; in fact he sensed something was wrong.

"Nothing is wrong, Pea. Your mom went to NY City to get some stuff, and she got stuck in traffic. She called Angel before and he was busy too, so I offered to come pick you up instead." Tara said, making less of what was actually happening, Willow had told her not to tell him the truth.

"Why didn't she call me herself, I had my cell-phone on."

"I don't know, honey, I think that maybe her battery died, or she was out of signal. Let's just get home and then we'll find out what happened. Ok?"

"Fine," Patrick said begrudgingly. "But if there's something wrong with mom, you'd tell me, right auntie, Tara?"

"Of course I would! I'd never lie to you." But she had in fact just lied to him.

Zzz

O'Quinn Residence, 2 hours after kidnap 

"_Joyce, hi, it's Willow, I'm sorry you couldn't take this call personally… I need to tell you something, there's an emergency with Buffy, and we need you and Dawn to come over here, it's important, call me as soon as you get this message. We are at Angel's house, you know the number."_

Willow hung up the phone, and waited, she and Angel had called the FBI as discreetly as possibly, they knew the first twenty-four hours where crucial for the case, and Buffy was in grave danger, so they had to find her as quickly as possible.

"The FBI officer is here, Angel." Willow said as she opened the door to Angel's studio, Tara and Willow had arrived with Patrick a while before, the boy had gone upstairs under coercion, he sensed something was amiss and event though people tried to hide it from him, he knew his mom was in trouble, he had heard Willow and Tara talking in shushed tones, he had seen Angel looking angry and stressed, and now there's was a huge black SUV parked at the entrance. He didn't have to be a genius to know something was wrong. He stood at the top of the staircase, almost visible, where he could vaguely listen to the conversation.

"Let him in." Angel said, never tearing his eyes from his cell-phone.

"It's a she," The detective said as she offered her hand to Angel. "My name is Kate Lockley, I'm the FBI agent assigned to come get your initial statement; we have already started the investigation with what you told us on the phone."

"I can't honestly say it's nice to meet you. So don't expect me to shake you hand like this is a business meeting." Angel said brusquely, after he stepped away from his desk, he couldn't bear the pictures of Buffy laying there so carelessly, reminding him of what an idiot he had been. "I'm Angelus O'Quinn, Buffy is the woman who's missing; she's my wife."

"Of course, you said your wife is missing?"

"Yes, it's been almost two hours since she was last seen," Angel said as he grabbed his cell phone yet again, he had watched that video clip a thousand times already. "This video was sent to me an hour ago from her cell phone."

Kate took the phone from his hand and watched the screen closely. "I see, I mean I understand. This means that you are a person of certain power and means, a very wealthy person so to speak. Do you actually have this amount of money, Mr. O'Quinn?"

"I do, you might say I'm as rich as any other Hollywood star out there, my father built yachts, when he died I sold the company and became a billionaire, I invested it in stocks, that's why she was kidnapped." Angel said sadly as he rolled his wedding band between his fingers. "We got married a month ago, and every gossip column out there called her a gold-digger because of it, you see, there was no prenuptial agreement…and she was already pregnant when we got married."

"Oh! I see why you called us so quickly," Kate said as she took a long hard look at their wedding picture, the wife was a pretty blonde, petite, with huge green eyes and a smile that melted the hearts. It wasn't hard to imagine what he had seen in her. "Tell me about what you did today, anything new or out of the usual; do you have enemies, Mr. O'Quinn?"

"I had a meeting with me ex-wife today, Darla Stevens, she's prejudiced against Buffy, if I were to point fingers, I'd say she did it. We got divorced last year; she's still hanging around me, trying to sabotage my new marriage."

"Well, we are going to question miss Stevens then. Does your wife have any enemies? Any people that envied her, somebody you didn't trust?"

"There's Spike, I mean William Frazier—he's the father of her son, we have a dispute with him going on at court," Angel found a copy of the file and gave it to the detective. "Buffy and I are suing him for custody of the boy, his name is Patrick Daniel, this is a very long story, short version, Patrick is my biological son and I didn't know about him until a few months ago."

"We'll have to question him too. Your son, is he around, I'm going to have to talk to him too."

"Yes, he's upstairs." Angel lowered his voice before he continued. "I haven't told him where's Buffy, I just said she was busy elsewhere so his aunt Tara had to pick him up. He'd be very upset to know his mother is missing, he's only nine years old."

"I understand, maybe we'll talk with him later, if you excuse me, I'm going to make some phone calls, I need to talk to my superior, ok?"

"Yes—there's something else that you need to know." Angel said in a serious tone, stealing Kate's attention from her cell-phone. "Buffy isn't just pregnant, she had a heart transplant six months ago, and she's on immune suppressors, anti rejection drugs, prednisone to be correct, she takes her meds every twelve hours, so we have to find her, I don't want to imagine what would happen if we don't." Angel told a very small lie, but it was needed, if they thought she had ten hours to get her drugs, they'll put the entire FBI onto the search.

"Does she have her meds with her?"

"I don't know, I don't think she did, because she takes her medications at breakfast and at dinner, and they're usually on the medicine cabinet, on the bathroom upstairs, I check them out as soon as I got here and they were all there."

"I understand the situation; I'll have all this information sent to my boss, we'll get in touch with you as soon as we hear something else." Kate said sternly, she never liked talking to the relatives, they always tried to get her emotionally involved on the case, and she never wanted to. She needed to be the cold, professional agent that solved cases, not the mushy woman who sat down, and cried with the relatives. "I'm going to need you to give a formal statement in a while. Please stay here, don't try to contact the kidnappers on your own. We are going to trace all your phone calls from now on."

"No problem, I'll do anything to get Buffy back with me." Kate then left to call her boss privately.

Zzz

"I just spoke to my superior, Lieutenant Daniel Holtz, he told me he'll come here as soon as possible, I need the addresses and phone number of your exes, and your closest friends too, we need to start gathering clues of what happened."

"No problem, I might even produce a few clues for you, you see, I had a security camera installed at the hospital's parking lot, I'll go make the call, maybe we can find out who did this."

"That would be great, Mr. O'Quinn."

zzz

**The cabin, 3 hours after kidnap**

"Look what the cat brought in," The beast said as he opened the door to his cabin, a blonde woman was standing out there. "None other that my dear friend, Darla O'Quinn, what I can do for you, sweetheart?"

"You know what I want; I came for something new, something that will make me feel like I'm in heaven."

"I'd may have some of that, come in, darling."

Buffy heard voices and her mind snapped suddenly awake, she was bound, her hands were immobilized behind her, her head felt like it was going to explode, her left eye was so swollen she couldn't open it.

Something was seriously wrong with her, she was groggy and confused, like she had been sedated. She realized she was been held hostage, that man at the parking lot had kidnapped her.

She gradually started remembering the man jerking her awake, making her talk to the camera on the phone, he had called Angel, asked him for fifty million dollars, or else he'd kill her. Buffy panicked as all the memories clicked together, was she worth all that money, especially now that she was angry with him?

"Sit down over here, Darls. I have something that's going to make you fly straight to Venus." Buffy saw the man unwrapping a sterile syringe and filling it with something.

"Is it safe? I don't want you experimenting with me."

"It's as safe as anything else you've done before." Darla uncovered her arm and the man started looking for veins. Buffy couldn't see the woman's face, but she would recognize that voice anywhere in the world; it was the bitch from hell.

"Lay down now, this is going to last for a while." Darla laid her head down on the arm of the couch, and as she did that, Buffy saw her, and Darla saw Buffy.

Buffy thought her mind had been playing tricks on her until that moment, but then she was sure, Darla and that man had kidnapped her, the very same Darla she had found on Angel's office that day, what a lying bitch she was, telling Angel she was going to go to rehab, when in fact all she wanted was Buffy and Angel fighting, so she was all vulnerable for the taking.

"You've got company." Darla said in a raspy voice.

"Yeah, that's a little friend of mine, she's into bondage, so I tied her, don't mind her, she's not gonna be any trouble to us." The man said as he took off his clothes. He and Darla had been having sex every week or so, he would supply her dope, and she would supply him her body.

"She's ugly, come here, and kiss me." Darla demanded as the man took off her jeans and underwear. Even though she recognized Buffy, the drug was stronger than her mind, all she wanted was to lay down her head and ride the narcotic-induced wave with the beast fucking her wildly.

Buffy overheard their conversation, wondering why Darla was so devious, then as the couple started having intercourse in the room next door, Buffy closed her eyes, she didn't want to hear Darla's moans of pleasure, she didn't want to imagine how it was with her and Angel, she didn't want to be there period.

A lonely tear winded down Buffy's cheek and then a river followed, she was so scared, sad and angry at the same time, if she hadn't seen them, she wouldn't have been kidnapped, if she hadn't gone out right then, she would've been home with Patrick. If she just hadn't been so angry; she would have probably seen that man lurking, waiting to take her away.

Soon after the couple started getting louder and much more creative, Buffy lost consciousness again, she felt heavy, like her back bone had melted and her legs would not stand on their own if she tried to leave, she realized she had been drugged as well, some sort of strong sedative, so she wouldn't give any trouble to the man, she closed her eyes, and drifted away, seeing and hearing, sounds and faces she did not want to witness ever again.

zzz

5 hours after kidnap 

Darla woke up with a start, knowing on instinct that she had to leave that place as fast as she could, when she awoke to all of her senses, she noticed with a clear mind who was the woman tied, gagged and hurt in the room next door, Buffy, Angel's little bimbo, The beast had probably kidnap her, maybe he was even calling for ransom, some irrational sum of money like a hundred million dollars.

Darla remembered she had said time and time again that Angelus O'Quinn was a filthy rich man, so maybe he had picked-up the idea of kidnapping his beloved new wife.

Darla sought for the beast, he was nowhere to be seen, thank god, he was taking a shower, so she sneaked out of the cabin and left, with only her bra and her panties on, the rest of the clothes could wait.

Darla ran to her car like the devil's hound was after her, she didn't know what to do, if she didn't call the police she was going to be considered an accessory, if she did, she would've to tell how she knew the beast, and who had told him about Buffy and Angel in the first place.

As soon as she left the rustic trail that led to the cabin, she called Lindsay; he was the only person who could tell her what to do. "Lindsay, I know you don't want to talk with me anymore, but I'm calling you as a lawyer."

"Darla, whatever evil thing you did, I want no part of it, you know I'm with Eve now, we're in love, and she doesn't want me talking to you."

Darla continued before he could hang up on her. "It wasn't me, it was a friend of mine—somebody I know, say I know somebody who has kidnap someone's wife, say I've seen her, that I know where she is, what should I do?"

"You should call a lawyer and go to the police, if you don't speak, justice will judge you as well."

"In that case, I need to meet somewhere with you, so you can come with me to the police."

"Oh God, Darla! Don't tell me you've kidnap Buffy O'Quinn."

"I didn't, but I know who did, and I'm afraid this man isn't kidding, if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll kill her."

"Fine, meet me at the coffee shop two blocks from my office in an hour. Ok?"

Darla went home to take a bath and change her clothes, something demure and trust-inspiring, as she arrived to Drusilla's apartment—which was home for the moment—she saw the FBI talking to Spike, they where taking him under custody.

Before she could wheel around and leave inconspicuously, she was stopped by a tall blonde, with a menacing set of sky-blue eyes.

"My name is agent Kate Lockley, I'm with the FBI, you must be Darla Stevens, would you come with me. We need to have a word with you."

"I'm going to call my lawyer."

"That won't be necessary, we just want to talk."

"I insist."

"Fine, be my guess. I'll be right here… eh Miss Stevens are you alright, your eyes are very blood-shot and you seem a bit distracted."

"I had a party last night; I'm still a bit hung-over."

"I see; we'll talk about that party later."

Zzz

**FBI headquarters New York City, **

**7 hours after kidnap**

"Miss Stevens, I need to ask you whose sperm is this." Holtz showed her the dirty condom she had placed on Angel's office, and the underwear that went along with it. Darla couldn't have looked more surprised if she had faked it. "We've tested it; we know it doesn't belong to Angelus O'Quinn. We also know you where there with him this afternoon, right about the same time Buffy Summers-O'Quinn was kidnapped. Why did you plant this in his office?"

"I wanted them to fight, me an Angel, we were married for seven years, until she showed up and ruined it, I was jealous, I wanted them to fight because of me."

"Miss Stevens, what have you done today? Besides going to the hospital and starting a fight between the O'Quinns?"

"I visited a friend of mine."

"This friend of yours, was it by any chance a man that looks like this?" Holtz showed him a camera snap from the scene of the kidnap; it was him, the beast.

"I've never seen that man before in my life."

"Haven't you?" Holtz said menacingly as he pulled a file out a folder. "Then prey tell me how you came in custody of his sperm," Darla actually gasped when she saw the picture of the beast next to the DNA test.

"In case you didn't know, the FBI has a dna lab, and we have cross matched the sperm on the condom you planted, to one in our records," Holtz pulled a case file and opened, showing Darla pictures of a corpse. "He's a suspect, name Jonathan Dog, aka The Beast, do you know he was accused of raping and murdering a girl back in 2001? We couldn't charge him because we never found the body, but we know it was him, in fact, the case is still open."

"I—I don't know anything." Darla was genuinely abashed; she had slept with a rapist and a murderer too.

"You better start telling me the truth, Miss Stevens. Or I'm going to accuse you of collaborating on the kidnap and possible murder of Buffy Summers-O'Quinn."

"What do you mean possible murder!"

"We found her Mercedez Benz, half an hour ago, there was a considerable amount of blood on the back seat, and the car had been abandoned at the state-border." Kate said as she stared at Darla, she was starting to feel the burden of knowledge. "If you know where she is, you better say so now, maybe we'll make a deal with you, shorten your sentence, but if you don't be sure that you will spend the rest of your life in jail."

"My client wishes to have a moment alone with me." Lindsay said as he realized Darla was in over her head.

Zzz

As Darla and Lindsay where negotiating her confession, Lindsay's girlfriend Eve, received a phone call: "I told you not to call me." Eve said in a shushed tone. She had been with Lindsay when Darla had called him, the FBI had asked her to stay over, since it was very late, after midnight to be correct, and her boyfriend was still caught-up at the interview.

"I know you did, but we have a problem, the girl, she hasn't waken up since I gave her the drug, I'm afraid, I'm thinking she's in shock." The beast said, he was standing over Buffy, she had gone paler and her breath was shallow and weak, like she was having trouble breathing.

"I told you not to hurt her, but you didn't listen, if she dies, we'll get no money." Eve had been the mind author of the kidnap, she was a corporative executive at W&H, and she had met Lindsay over a mutual friend a few months ago, Lilah Morgan.

Lilah was an old friend of Lindsay's, they had worked together at Wolfram & Heart in LA, Lindsay had been fired in 2003, and Lilah had taken the vice-presidency, which was the place Lindsay had been after for years. Now Lindsay was working in New York and Lilah was working against him, you could say they were each other's nemesis.

Eve had been there to help Lilah prepare the O'Quinns case for the preliminary hearing, so she knew everything about Patrick. And Lindsay been Spike's lawyer and Darla's ex-boyfriend, knew everything else about Buffy and Angel.

When Lindsay and Eve got together, a whole new world of scenarios opened up, sort of like a Pandora's Box unraveling a series of secrets that could be used against anybody in that circle of power.

Buffy and Angel had gotten caught up in a whirlwind, whoever controlled the O'Quinns had Wolfram & Heart at his feet, because Angel owned 25 of the stocks of the company, and his dear friend Charles Gunn owned 26 and was the CEO of the company, and there was no question that Gunn would do anything for his dear friend when Angel's wife was in danger.

"If she dies, I'll have to get rid of her body afterwards, I'll not go to jail over this."

"Of course you won't, Love. I'll never let you. I'll see what I can do; I'll try to find you a doctor, meanwhile, try to wake her up, if you can't …. You better start thinking how to get rid of her." Eve knew the beast was framed; it was just a matter of time before the FBI found him.

Darla had messed it all up, showing up at Angel's and then at the cabin where Buffy was been kept, but Eve would not warn him about the FBI getting closer, if he fell, let it be thinking she had nothing to do with it, he would not say she was involved. He loved her. She on the other hand, was becoming fonder of Lindsay by the day.

"I'll do that." Eve said as she checked that nobody was around to hear her.

Kate Lockley was eavesdropping in the room next door, she heard the conversation between Eve and the beast through a microphone she had planted on the brunette as soon as she had arrived with Lindsay, her instincts had never been wrong, Kate sensed that Eve was involved. She had insisted to leave, so Kate had in turn insisted that she remained and be escorted back home later, in case she was in any sort of danger. Kate now knew that Eve was in league with the beast.

Zzz

"My client is ready to speak, but she wants witness protection program and a deal with the D.A. to remain anonymous until the trial takes place." Lindsay said as he stood next to a panicked Darla.

"Alright, we are prepared to offer you a deal with the D.A. but first we've got to know where she is," Holtz said as he turned on a video camera. "By the way, we are taping this, and just so you know if you lie to us we'll use this against you in court."

"I understand…"

Zzz

"I told you not to call me again." Eve said harshly, she was in company of Lindsay and Kate when her cell phone rang again.

"Who is it, babe?" Lindsay said, taking her phone from her hands. "Hello, what do you want with my girlfriend?"

"She's my girlfriend too. Put her back on the phone." The beast said sardonically, Lindsay hung up the phone, but less than a minute after he called again.

"We are done, Jonathan, I told you its over. Please stop calling me!" Kate observed this curious exchange and her mind snapped, Jonathan was the beast's name.

"I didn't know anything about this Jonathan, who is he?" Lindsay started getting suspicious as well. "Do you have something you want to talk about, Darling?"

"He's just a guy I was dating; he's kind of stalking me now." And then the phone rang yet again, racking Eve's nerves. "Listen, John, it's over, I'm with someone else now, I promise you we'll never be together again, I've even been to other hair saloons, don't call me again!" Eve shouted panicky.

"He's a hairdresser, that's how we met; he did my hair a couple of times." Eve explained, she was getting nervous, Kate smelled code words; she was probably speaking with the beast about Buffy.

"I'd like to go home now, you guys know who did it, so we aren't in danger any more, right?" 'I've been to other hair saloons was their code for 'I've been taken under custody, you're been listened. Kill the bitch.'

"I wouldn't say that, in fact this Jonathan, does he look like this?" Kate showed her a picture of the beast and Eve felt her knees go wobbly, they had identified him and she had just associated herself to him. Darla had sold him out.

"Maybe, I couldn't be positive, the picture is a little dark."

"Well, you'll be positive once we take him under custody," Kate escorted Eve and Lindsay to a private room and showed them in. "I'm afraid I can't let you or your girlfriend go, you see, we have reasons to believe you two are in danger, so I'm going to ask you to stay here until we can sort this mess out."

"I guess, we can do that, when you do know where Buffy O'Quinn is, let me know. I'd like to have a word with her after this thing is through." Lindsay said as he took his jacket off and placed it on top of Eve's naked shoulders. It looked like they would be there for the rest of the night.

Zzz

Cabin, 10 hours after 

The beast jerked Buffy awake with a strong pull and she wailed in pain. "You need to go, Blondie. It's time for you to leave." Buffy opened her eyes drowsily and stared at the man. Since he called Eve for the last time he had been going crazy, cleaning, packing and stashing, it looked like he was leaving, and he wanted to leave no traces behind him.

"Don't kill me, I have a son, I'm pregnant right now, if you let me live I won't testify against you."

"You won't testify against me when you are dead." The beast said as he dragged Buffy out of the cabin by the arms. She resisted with the little strength she had, digging her nails into the wood panels of the walls.

"Stop! You don't want to do this!" Buffy screamed as he tossed her out of the house and onto the hard ground outside.

"Oh, yes I do! If they find you here, they'll send me to jail. So you see, death is the only gift I can give you. Stand up, Blondie. You don't want to die like that. Be brave, I know you can."

"Please!" Buffy screamed as the beast pulled a gun out of his waistband and shot it aiming at her head…

End of chapter 12…

There's no song, but ain't this the mother of all cliffhangers?

Wait until next Monday!


	18. Chapter 18

**Surprise! You've got yourselves an update! So enjoy, and don't forget to review me afterwards!**

**Chapter 13**

"**Mercy"**

**zzz**

He missed it, the shot ricocheted at the floor and made eco as it went off; leaving nothing but a trail of smoke behind, Buffy collapsed on the floor as she felt her life flash in front on her eyes. She was alive, barely, and the beast had missed the shot, God had been merciful that day.

"You are a damn lucky bitch, Blondie. I normally don't shot so badly but I'm kinda anxious as it is," The beast said doubtfully as he checked the gun, he could've sworn he aimed it right, there was no reason to think it would miss. "Shit! Cops are here!" He saw a patrol go up the trail, and then a helicopter followed, and many other black suvs from the FBI and even a tank from SWAT, they have heard the gunshot and then they had rushed the ambush.

"I gotta go, Blondie, I'll se you later!" The beast said as he took off running and left Buffy there, she was barely conscious; she had fallen down and hit her head against the uneven ground, when he had tossed her, then her barely healed wound had started bleeding again. Buffy sighed painfully and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the patrol parking a mile away from the house, she was safe, soon she'll be home again with Angel and Patrick.

**zzz**

**FBI Headquarters, NY**

"I can't believe Darla. She's crazier than I thought, getting between Buffy and the bastard is one thing, but kidnapping and killing her, that's too much." Lindsay said with painful disbelief.

"Maybe she deserved it?" Eve said with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice, she had never met Buffy and she already hated her. "Rich people like that, deserve whatever they get."

"How could you say that? Do you deserve been stalked by that criminal? The last time I checked you were wealthy too."

"No! Of course not!"

"Well, don't go wishing people stuff like that. Have you ever heard of thrice-fold?"

"No, what's that?"

"Whatever you wish upon someone will come to you three times stronger…people also call it eye for an eye, but it's still the universal law of retribution."

"Right, you been such a good lawyer and all, you know every law out there. FYI: I don't believe in that."

"That's your problem, I still think you shouldn't be alone right now, God knows if you were next on that guy's list." Lindsay sat beside her and hugged her closer to his body. "I'd never let that happen to you." Lindsay whispered calmly as he caressed Eve's hair.

"I know you wouldn't. God, I'm so tired! I just wanna go home!"

"Here, put your head on my shoulder, maybe you can try to get some sleep; it looks like it's going to be a long night."

"I'd said that… and more." Eve said glumly, she knew the danger she was in, if they found the beast, he'll go to jail, and no doubt he would sell her for a lesser sentence, or even have her killed, if it came to her testimony in court. "That man is a monster."

"I know, baby. That's why we are here." Lindsay couldn't have imagined the kind of woman Eve was. She would never let that happen to her, mostly because she was the kind of people who criminals feared, she was just ruthless, nothing and no one will stop her in getting what she wanted, and that had been Angelus O'Quinn and Wolfram and Heart at her feet, in that order.

**Zzz**

O'Quinn Residence, 15 hours after kidnap 

"I told you I won't eat a fucking thing right now, Willow! You stay away from me! Just leave me alone! I can't deal with people right now." Angel was inside his studio, waiting for the call to know Buffy had been found, Willow was offering him a sandwich.

In case there was an actual exchange, he had wired the money to a regular account hours ago, now he was just going crazy-out-of-his-mind with worry.

"You need to! I saw you going up and down that hospital running to get the footage from the security camera! And you had surgery too! You have to be starving…and when Buffy comes back home, I don't want her to see you dehydrated and sick with worry."

"But I _**am**_ sick with worry! What the hell is taking so bloody long! I said I'd give them the money. Christ! If they hurt her…!" Patrick overheard the conversation and he was about to jump into it when the bell rang.

"Baby! God was wrong? Why are you crying?" It was Joyce and Dawn; Xander had picked them up at the airport. "What's wrong with Buffy? Is she in the hospital?" Joyce said anxiously to Willow and Angel, as she hugged Patrick, he had jumped into her arms as soon as he had seen his grandma at the threshold.

"No, we'll at least I don't think so, she's missing…" Willow said in a stern tone, avoiding the painful truth.

"She's not lost, someone took her, I know! The cops were here, Granny, they said my mom was kinap." Patrick said between sighs and hiccups.

"It's kidnapped, honey. That means someone wants money to give your mom back."

"Angel! You have to give them what they want!" Patrick shouted, grabbing Angel by the arms. "I need my mommy, pay them what they want. I'll pay you back. I swear I will!" Angel felt like his heart was breaking into a million pieces.

"I want nothing less than that, Patrick. I'd give them all the money I've got, but they don't want to give her back yet, we are waiting for FBI, they said they will find her for us, that those mean people will go to jail for what they've done."

"What if she's hurt? What if she gets sick? Why don't you and I go and get her… she can't be far!"

"Oh Patrick! Those were my thoughts exactly but we can't, we have to wait, we'd just get in the way. Why don't you get something to eat? I'll tell you as soon as I know anything."

"I don't want to! I can't eat like this!" Like father like son, neither one of them would sit calmly at wait; they would pace like caged animals and refuse any sort of comfort until Buffy was found.

"Can't you call them? See if they have found out anything?" Dawn said to Angel, as she dropped their luggage on the living room.

"I just did, they said they were following a lead, if they discovered anything they'd call us."

"I guess, we just have to prey that she's fine," Joyce said to Angel, she knew he was catholic. "Would you do the rosary with me, Angel?"

"Of course I would, Joyce. Let me go get it."

"What's that, Granny? I want to do the rosary too." Patrick pleaded as he wiped the tears from his face.

"It's a prayer, Honey, to the Virgin Mary; it's said with beads like this." Joyce pulled a rosary beads from her purse. "You can say it alone or in company, but it's said that in company is more effective. You prey to The Virgin and she hears you, and then she goes and tells Jesus to get you what you need, she intercedes for us."

"Will she bring my mommy back?"

"She could, baby. At least it will make you feel like you've done something to help. Let me teach you how to do it." Joyce showed Patrick how it worked meanwhile Angel got his own rosary beads.

"I have a bit of an altar upstairs, so maybe you'd like to go there?"

"Yes, that would be nice; Patrick is going to prey with us too. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh no, not at all, I think that's great. Come on, Patrick, I'll show you how to do it."

"I don't normally do this, but for Buffy I would." Anya said severely as she followed the crowd, she was probably the most unreligious person in the group, but for Buffy she would sit and prey. "Let's go and prey to The Virgin for Buffy's safely and timely return. Else we are all going to end up at the Looney bin." Classically Anya, she never failed to bring humor to the darkest hour.

"Dawn and I, are g-going to make some s-sandwiches for you guys, I-I'm sure you guys are hungry. So we'll cook…" Tara said shyly as they retreated to the kitchen.

"Right, we are nervous, so we'll cook." Dawn repeated nonchalantly.

**Zzz**

"FBI, drop the gun!" An agent shouted as he pointed a shotgun to the beast. "You are under arrest, drop your weapon now!"

The beast had ran as far as the exit to a main road, he was about to jump in front of a car when he heard the helicopter and the patrols stopping cars several miles up and down the road.

He considered high-jacking one of the cars that had remained in between the police plugs, but his thoughts were too slow, a sniper shot him from the helicopter, narrowly missing him by an inch.

"I said, drop your weapons!" The same agent repeated.

"I'm not going to go to jail!" The beast screamed as he shot blindly at the FBI agents that had pursued him on foot.

He harmed one of them before he was shot on both kneecaps, he dropped back painfully but remained conscious afterwards; they had been ordered to shoot him when needed but not to kill him, just to maim him.

"Drop your weapon now! You are surrounded!" Another agent said, despite the painfulness of the wounds the beast was still pointing his gun, even from down in the floor where he was, and he could still kill someone from there.

"You are going to have to kill me, you bastards!" One of the agents called Lieutenant Holtz on the radio, he told them to use tranquilizing darts; he wanted the criminal alive for trial, even if he couldn't walk afterwards.

They did so, shooting the beast with several tranquilizing darts, and then they waited, in less than five minutes he dropped the weapon and fell unconscious altogether, he was bleeding profusely, he was in fact near hypovolemic shock.

"Call the medical team, the suspect is disarmed and sedated, he's been shot, and we are going to need an ambulance and hospital security working with us. I repeat: suspect is wounded, we need medical team here; he's sedated." The officer in charge said as he gave the orders to move the beast to a hospital ASAP.

"Negative, medical team is flying with the victim to Mount Sinai, we've got another team on foot, they'll be there soon, we have an ATA of five minutes, stand by and secure the perimeters." The police officer handling search and rescue on the radio said.

"Roger that. You two cover left perimeter, we need all these people evacuated, tell the cops to clear the heliport on Mount Sinai; the victim is been taken there…"

**Zzz**

**Mount Sinai Hospital, New York**

"How's the patient?" Kate asked to the Neurologist on call, as soon as he came out of her room.

"She's fine, all she needed was some stitches, her CT scan shows no skull fractures or internal hemorrhage, she has nausea and disorientation but that can be attributed to post traumatic syndrome." Doctor Shepherd took another look at the CT and continued his diagnosis. "She does have a contusion; the impact broke some important blood vessels, so it's going to be swollen for a while. It will also go darker before it fades."

"Should I call the relatives? They must be worried sick."

"Of course, tell them to look for me, I'll be waiting for them. They'll want to see her right away… although she was sedated by the kidnappers, so she won't be awake for a while, maybe we should hold visitors for a while." Derek said as he wrote on Buffy's medical chart, he was requesting an Ob/gyn consult as well as a cardiologist. Buffy's heart was perfectly fine but she was after all, a risky patient.

"Do you have the toxicology report?"

"Not yet, I'm waiting for it, I'll send you a copy as soon as I get it. Why?"

"I just needed to know what she was drugged with, it's evidence, so we need to match it to the things we found on the crime scene."

"I see; I'll let you know what it was. Go call the relatives then."

"I will… oh doctor, as soon as she's awake I'll need to talk to her, we need to get her statement."

"I'll let you know. _**Goodbye**_, Agent Lockley."

**zzz**

Angel and company were about to finish the rosary when the phone rang, it was Kate, informing them that they had found Buffy, that she was been healed at Mount Sinai, that they should look for Derek Shepherd, the neurologist on call. He would tell them more about Buffy's state, but they should know she was fine.

"It worked! Granny, it worked!" Patrick shouted giddy and excited like never before. He in fact ran downstairs and found Angel's car keys and they ran back to him in less than a minute. "Let's go get her!"

"Wild horses couldn't stop me, Son!" Angel said as he made the sign of the cross, and thanked God for been so merciful and kind.

"Well, come on, dad! Mom's waiting!" Patrick interjected as he pulled Angel by the arm. Angel almost didn't notice what Patrick had called him. But deep down he did, the boy was starting to recognize him as his father.

"I'm coming! Let me just wash my face and brush my teeth, I must look like one of those guys from My Chemical Romance!"

"She won't mind! She likes that band!" But she would, the last time he had seen her—which now felt like an eternity—they had fought hard about Darla, so he was scared, maybe she'd still be angry, maybe she'd blame him, maybe she would ask him for divorce… but maybe she would just jump into his arms and thank God she was still alive.

"Come on, Angel! My daughter needs us!" This time is was Joyce rushing him; they were all standing at the bedroom door, waiting for him to leave first so they could follow. The gates had been closed and locked in case someone else tried to enter.

"Ready! Let's go now." Angel changed his clothes for new ones, washed his face and then he ran, jumping into his SUV and driving like a madman to Manhattan, where Mount Sinai Hospital was.

**Zzz**

This is the end of chapter 13.

Don't forget to review me!!!

**The Voice Within **

**by Cristina Aguilera**

Young girl, don't cry  
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall  
Young girl, it's all right  
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream  
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems  
No one ever wants or bothers to explain  
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else  
Look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend  
Just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength  
That will guide your way  
If you will learn to begin  
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide  
You'll never change if you just run away  
Young girl, just hold tight  
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed  
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid  
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold  
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else  
Look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend  
Just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength  
That will guide your way  
If you will learn to begin  
To trust the voice within

Yeah...  
Life is a journey  
It can take you anywhere you choose to go  
As long as you're learning  
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it  
You'll make it  
Just don't go forsaking yourself  
No one can stop you  
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else  
Look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend  
Just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength  
That will guide your way  
If you will learn to begin  
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry  
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall…


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: I am a huge fan of Grey's anatomy, so I said there was a Derek Shepherd, a neurologist that worked at Mount Sinai, and he had seen Buffy when she arrived. You've got two choices here: 1) pretend is him before he met Grey, so he's still married to Addison and living in NY, or 2) pretend this is just a funny coincidence. It's your choice dearest readers…

**Chapter 14**

"**Fate always knocks twice"**

"She's still a little dazed, so don't force her to speak," the neurologist said to Angel and Joyce, they were the first ones that should come and see her. "By the way, she had a few stitches on her left eyebrow, so don't be alarmed, the eye is still swollen."

"Patrick you go in there with your grandma, I'm going to talk to the doctor here." Angel said as he pulled the doctor to a side. "_Is she alright_?" Angel said with a no-bullshit-for-me expression that was quite frightening.

"She's fine; I know that you are the husband, so you must be worried. She came in with a contusion, she got her head banged against something sharp so the skin broke and the eyebrow and forehead got bruised, but it's fine, there's no brain damage. I made all the necessary tests, I'm positive that she's fine."

"Did you call an OB/GYN? She's pregnant, and also she needs to be evaluated by her cardiologist."

"I did call for both, they saw her, she's fine, your baby is fine, and her heart is fine. In fact I'm thinking I'll send her home tomorrow, she did say she violently disliked hospitals."

"She does."

"The FBI wants to talk to her, I told them she needed some rest, she came in pretty upset a couple of hours ago, apparently the kidnapers were about to kill her, I think she's suffering from post traumatic syndrome." Derek lowered his voiced before speaking again. "Don't ask her about the kidnap, its best not to remind her, she's still a little frightened."

"Wouldn't you?! She's been trough hell and then you guys come and poke her, and stitch her, like she's a bloody rag doll!"

"Don't get snappy with me, I'm doing my best to help your wife, I had in fact suggested no visitors but I changed my mind seeing that you are a mob."

"Make than an angry mob. Thank you, _**Doctor Shepherd**_. Your services are no longer needed, I can take care of things from here, and also, I'd like to see Buffy's medical charts ASAP."

"What would you do with that?"

"Evaluate your level of _**negligence**_. I'm a doctor, a Cardiothoracic Surgeon and Cardiologist to be correct, and I'm thinking you are an incompetent asshole."

"You are Angelus O'Quinn! I knew I've seen you somewhere." Derek said handling him Buffy's charts. "We've worked together, at UCLA Santa Monica; you were doing your last year of residence in 2001, I was finishing my residence too, whoa. You haven't changed a bit."

"Thanks, I'm working here in NY now; Buffy's my wife, so you can understand I'm extra concerned in this case."

"Of course I do, I'm telling you the truth, she's fine, but you won't believe me, so go on and check by yourself."

"I will… just one thing… is she very upset? Has she asked for me maybe?"

"She's asleep, at least she was the last time I checked, they gave her Ativan and Lexothanyl, at the same time, so she's pretty groggy, but she _**has**_ asked for an Angel a couple of times… some Patrick guy too, so don't feel special."

"_**Oh**_, thanks. I'll see you around."

"Sure, it was nice seeing you again, Doctor O'Quinn… _or not_." Angel didn't wait for Derek to finish the answer or to shake his hand, like he should've done in the spirit of fellow doctors, he just left, living Derek with his hand extended; he was just dying to see Buffy. She had called for him, she couldn't be mad at him, she had _**asked**_ for him.

**zzz**

The beast was taken to the Jewish Medical Center, after the surgeons fixed his wounds, he was sent to a private room. He would wait there until his trial came. The District Attorney had charged him with assault, kidnap for ransom, and attempt of murder in the person of Buffy Summers. And he had also been charged with manslaughter in the person of Michael Kane, an officer he had shot while he was being pursued, he had shot him on the upper tight, severing the man's femoral artery, causing him an unstoppable bleeding and untimely death, he had also been in possession of illegal substances, a stolen vehicle and un-registered gun. Given the brutality of his crimes he had nor been allowed bail, and the D.A. believed he'll be given life in prison… at the very least.

**zzz**

"Baby, Angel's here, do you want us to leave so you can talk in private?" Joyce asked to a sleepy Buffy. She knew they had argued right before Buffy got taken.

"Please." Buffy whispered; she was still icky about being stitched and probed exhaustively; she was also a little groggy because of the sedatives than wore slowly out of her system.

"I love you, mommy. Me and grandma are going to go get you something to eat, auntie Tara said, you'd be hungry." Patrick said seriously as he dragged Joyce out the room. "We'll be back soon, don't you go anywhere."

"I won't, Pea. I promise." Buffy said softly, she was scared of looking at the dark-haired man looming above her small bed; he was looking so serious, standing all tall and mighty above her. Would he still be angry? Would he blame her?

"I though you'd be sleeping." Angel said, he stood next to her bed, almost unable to speak, she look so fragile and forlorn, like she'd been to a war, so much could happen in a day's time. Would she still hate him? Did she think about divorce? Did she blame him?

"I though you'd still be angry with me." Buffy whispered back, thinking that he look tired and angry, she had seen that face before, the day she told him about Patrick, he was practically drilling her with his eyes.

"With you?! Never, are you alright? You look so…"

"Bad, I know I look like shit…" Buffy said, pushing a stray lock behind her ear, like she could hide the tears that threatened to come down any second, just by keeping her eyes cast down. Angel felt the small the tremor that tan through her as he touched her hand, covering it with is, he wanted to comfort her so badly, but he was afraid of touching her. She took the initiative from him. "Come here, Angel, give me a hug please… I need you to hug me now, even if you are angry with me, even if you hate me…"

"Baby!" He didn't need to be asked twice, he jumped to hug her; Buffy nearly fell out of the gurney when he pulled her close to his chest, but he didn't let her. "God, Buffy; I was so scared, I thought I'd die if something happened to you because of me. I can't hate you; I can't even get angry with you. I love you so much, more than life or anything else in this world. I can't bear the thought of you been angry with me. I was so stupid, baby. God I wanted to bang my head against something just to stop counting the hours."

"I though you wouldn't want to get me back, that you were so mad at me that you wouldn't pay." Buffy felt the tears go unbidden as they ran down her face and neck; she had been scared to death too, for her life, for Patrick, for their unborn child and for Angel. What could happen to them if she died like that? It would devastate them.

"I wanted to pay as soon as I got the message, I couldn't bear the though of you in danger, but I had to wait, I had to talk to the FBI and then I nearly died." Angel released Buffy from the embrace just to grab her face between his hands, to make her see him eye to eye. "They told me they've found the benz, that there was a lot blood, so maybe you've died… I wanted to die, Buffy! I can't live without you!"

"But I didn't! He hit me and then he made me shot me with something, but I was still awake, fighting to know where I was, what was happening, I didn't give up, Angel! I wanted to live so badly, I prayed him to let me live, that I wouldn't testify against him if he let me live, but he still shot… and thank God he missed, I don't know how or why, he was two feet away from me and he missed!"

"I know, baby. You must have been so scared." Angel whispered as he cradled Buffy's head close to his chest.

"I kept thinking he was going to kill me…because you didn't want to pay for me, he was mad, and then Darla… she came by, you know? By then I knew she had something to do with it, I knew he would kill me, he swore he would never go to jail again." Buffy paused to wipe the tears from her face, and catch her breath. "She came and fucked him right in front of me; he drugged her and fucked her, right in front of me!" Buffy screamed as if repeating it made her feel better about it.

"My God, you have to tell that to the FBI."

"I can't understand why you keep trusting her, I won't say this again Angel, I don't want you to see Darla ever again in your life, promise me, Angel, please swear it to me!"

"I won't baby. I swear I won't, next time I see her she'll be in jail, I can promise you that." Angel said as he kissed Buffy's forehead. "Now, would you rest? You shouldn't be all worked-up like that; it's bad for the baby, and it's also bad for your heart."

"I know, I have the mother of all headaches, so the sedative is wearing down, _**thank God**_, but I don't feel fine just yet, it's scares me, what could happen now, I could lose the baby, I could lose my heart, so many things could go wrong."

"You won't, baby. You are fine, you and the baby are fine," Angel said as he laid Buffy down in the bed again. "Rest now, you'll feel better later, I'm going to stay here, you just try to sleep; I promise you he won't hurt you again."

"I can't sleep anymore, Angel. My brain is all screwed, I try to sleep but my body says don't. I try to close my eyes and forget …but I can't."

"It's the adrenaline and the cortisol, you where trying to escape, the sedative wears down, adrenaline and cortisol kick in…" Angel realized the doctor's rationalization wasn't exactly helpful. "Is there something I could do to make you feel better?"

"You could hug me…" Buffy scooted over and Angel laid down behind her, spooning her. "Do you know if he got arrested? I just can't bear the thought of him coming inside and killing me…like he said he was going to."

"I'm not sure, but I heard, I mean—I saw on TV that he had been arrested, and also that he would never walk normally again, he resisted arrest and then he killed an FBI officer, so he was shot on both kneecaps." Angel tightened his embrace around Buffy, placing his hand above her mound. "I'm sure he's not going to come here, and if he does … I'll kill him myself, with my own bare hands. I'll never let him hurt you again, baby."

"He wasn't alone, he kept calling someone, I think her name was Eva or something like it, I have to talk to them, the FBI. Can you call them? Tell them I want to make my statement."

"You should wait, you are still a bit upset, and why don't we talk to the lawyer first? I want you to have a clear head, when you talk to them."

"My head is crystal clear, Angel. And I'll feel better once I let this out of my chest."

"Ok, I'll call them, but you should at least eat something, you haven't had a thing all day, and I'm sure that would make you feel better."

"Where's everybody else? If Mom's here, so is Dawn."

"They're outside…do you want to talk to them."

"No, I just want to lay here and stop thinking. Tell them to wait home, that I'm fine, and I just want to rest, I don't want them to see me like this."

"Ok, that sounds reasonable," Buffy waited for Angel to leave right away but he didn't. "I'll wait until Joyce and Patrick come back, you shouldn't be alone right now." Buffy didn't say anything back; she just leaned closer to Angel's chest, feeling secure and loved with him spooning her.

**Zzz**

Buffy was eating a cheese burger when Daniel Holtz came inside the room; he was with Kate Lockley and two other FBI officers.

"Hi! My name is Daniel Holtz; I'm the lieutenant that handled your rescue. These are my agents Kate, Samantha and Ron. You said you wanted to talk to me?" Buffy shook the man's hand, wondering why there was something about him that felt strangely familiar, something about the shape of his face or the width of his shoulders.

"I do, I want to make my formal statement now."

"That's not necessary, Mrs. O'Quinn. I understand that you are still too upset, maybe I could come back tomorrow, after you've rested?"

"No, I want this over now, please just let me talk."

"Ok, I'm going to need to tape this and only your husband can stay, if you want I can wait for your lawyer."

"Why would I need a lawyer, I know what I saw, I did nothing wrong, I'm the victim here!"

"You are; nobody is saying that you aren't. The thing is; that you'll need to be perfectly clear about what happened, and this process can be daunting, whatever you say will be questioned and verified, so it can be used in court, so it's usually best to talk to a lawyer before you make your formal statement, or at least have him present when you do."

"I'm going to tell you exactly what happened, you'll tape it, verify it, whatever you want to do with it, then when it's time to go to court, I'll talk to my lawyer, how's that for you?"

"Your wife has quite some stubbornness, does she not?"

"It something I love about her." Angel said, never taking his eyes from the man, he like Buffy, thought there was something familiar about the guy.

"Alright, tell me what happened then…"

"I was coming out of the hospital around five in the afternoon, I walked to my car, I paused about five feet away from the car to search for the keys in my purse. Next thing I see, there's a man standing next to me with a gun pointing at my stomach. He said_**"Get in the car. Don't say a word or I'll shoot you!"**_I told him to take my purse that I had money in it; in fact I tried to give him the car keys so he wouldn't hurt me, but he didn't want them. He told me to shut up and grabbed me by the neck, I tried to extricate myself from him but he was such a tall man, 6'3'' at least, more than two hundred pounds, he manhandled me easy. He told me to get in backseat of the car or he'd kill me, I was scared so I didn't duck in time… he bashed my head hard against the door, that's how I got this bruise, it hurt like hell, and I fell unconscious. I woke after a while and he was driving through a freeway, there was nothing but forest to either side, I touched my head and it was bleeding, I tried to opened the door, but it was locked and he was driving pretty fast, over 150 miles per hour, so I laid down again, I wanted to escape but not to brake my neck in the process, so I waited." Buffy paused to collect her breath, and the second she did Angel held her hand strongly, urging her to continue, to be confident that she was safe now.

"We arrived at some cottage later, he pulled me out by the hair and tossed me inside a dark room, he had syringe filled with something, he…" Buffy paused to bare her arm, true to her words there was a huge hematoma there, on the inside of her elbow, it was still yellow but they could tell it would go black in a few days. "He shot me with something, it made me feel like I was drowning, like I couldn't breath and my body was been pulled to the floor. Before I collapsed completely, he tied me to a chair so I'd stay upright, then he made me swear to the camera in my cell phone, I knew he was calling Angel, telling him to pay fifty million dollars to get me back, or else he'd kill me.

When he had gotten the footage he wanted, he took me to a room, tied my hands behind my back and left me there, I was more out than in by then, he left the door a little open so he could see if I tried to do something. I tried to stay awake but the drugs made too groggy and I just fell asleep.

I don't know now many hours later, Darla Stevens came, she's my husband's ex-wife; she woke me up when she rang the bell. My kidnapper supplied her with drugs. They used something, some kind of new liquid ecstasy or something like it; he said it was supposed to take you flying to heaven. They were high for hours… they also had intercourse several times, right in front of me. The door is less than twenty feet away from the couch, where they were at, so I can tell you how many tattoos he has on his arms and back, and just how she sounds when she's enjoying sex." Buffy paused to look at Angel; he had to know how fake Darla was.

"At some point, Darla noticed who I was, I think she knew but she didn't think I'd be there, she acted like she didn't know me or didn't cared about me watching her naked and fucking. But as soon as she wore down from the high; she ran out of there like the devil was after her. He got mad after that. He started calling someone named Eva or Evie or something like it. He wanted to know what to do about me; I was pretending to be unconscious and wheezing. So he got scared and called his sidekick to ask if he should call Angel for the money or kill me right away.

He waited hours to decide, but in the morning he called this Eve and she told him something that made him go crazy, he started cleaning, stashing everything he had used, hiding his dope, he was like a fucking machine.

When he finally had everything ready, he released me and tried to make me stand, I couldn't, I was at the highest state of sedation, so he dragged me out by the ankles, I tried to stop him, I broke my nails crawling away from him, but he was stronger. He dragged me out and tossed me hard, I banged my head again, this time it didn't hurt, but that was even scarier…" Buffy paused to bare her elbows, they were scraped and so were her wrists, chaffed and scraped, her nails had blood, wood and dirt underneath them.

"He made me kneel by sheer force, I wouldn't stay upright, but that didn't matter to him, he wanted me to stand but I couldn't, so he just shot. I don't know how, or why he missed, he was less than five feet away from me and he shot the ground, like he had never used a gun before in his life. He panicked after that, there was a helicopter, and patrols where coming up the trail. He left running, abandoning me there on the ground. That's the whole truth."

"I see. Do we have the toxicology report, Kate?"

"Yes, she was drugged with bromazepam and lorazepam. And we found traces of some new form of ectasy on several syringes."

"That explains the grogginess, these two sedatives are quite strong, he wasn't joking; he wanted you as malleable as possible." Holtz said keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

"I knew he had given me something quite strong, I was drugged once before, with dalmane, some frat party gone awry, I knew the feeling. Whatever he gave me was stronger, and it lasted longer."

"That's flurazepam, Faith took that for years; it was the only thing that made her sleep." Angel mentioned casually.

"I know; she gave me that, at Spike's party. That's how she got me to lay naked next to him, pretending that I've had slept with him."

"I didn't know that!"

"Now you do."

"This Faith, is she around, can I talk to her?"

"Not unless you've got a medium on your team, she's dead. She died a year ago in a car crash. She was my sister."

"I'm sorry. Well, we've got your testimony; I think it's time to leave now." Holtz said cutting in before he dug too deeply into a dark and painful past.

"There's something about you, I don't know what, but you remind me of someone. It's like I've seen you somewhere before." Buffy said as she figured out where she knew him from. Daniel trembled, could it be possible? Could Angel's wife really see a resemblance?

"That's very unlikely; you've never been to the FBI before."

"It's like you are family, don't pay attention to me, I must be going crazy. Thank you for rescuing me. May God protect you and your family." But she wasn't, Daniel Holtz had been a very _**close**_ friend of Katherine O'Quinn thirty something years ago. In fact he had been such a close friend to her that he had sired her only son.

"Buffy's right, you remind me of someone, are you Irish?"

"No, I'm all American, but I've worked for Irish people must of my life."

"Well, we must have seen you somewhere. Do you know any O'Quinns?"

"I knew a Katherine O'Quinn thirty years ago, I was her bodyguard for near five years, I was fresh out of the academy and they assigned me to guard them, her husband was a rich entrepreneur, he was afraid she'd get kidnapped." Holtz explained, as he remembered his affair with the beautiful Irish lady so many years ago.

"Did they live in California by any chance?"

"Yes, he lived in Los Angeles."

"You've met my mom; I'm surprised you don't know me." He did, hell, he'd know that boy anywhere in the world; he was a lot like her, same chocolate eyes, full mouth and slanted cheekbones.

"You were born after I left." That spoke volumes to Angel. This man had every chance to be his father. In fact he noticed they had some air of familiarity. Before the conversation could continue, Patrick Daniel came inside.

"I'm sure this is your son, Angelus." Buffy panicked when Holtz said that. "Nice to meet you young man, I'm Lieutenant Daniel Holtz."

"He was the one who rescued your mother." Angel explained when he noticed Patrick's wondering eyes.

"Thank you so much! I'm Patrick. It's great to meet you. Thank you for saving my mom."

"You are the spitting image of your father." Patrick didn't know what to say to that. He did not look one tiny bit like Spike, or Buffy for that matter.

"You should take good care of your mommy now; she'll need you more… now that you are going to be the big brother."

"We hadn't told him about the baby." This time Buffy explained, seeing that Patrick had a huge astonished expression on his face.

"You are going to have a baby?!" Patrick screamed excited, and then he jumped into bed, hugging Buffy. "Is it a boy? I want a brother! Can you make sure it's a boy?"

"I don't know yet, baby. It could be a boy. We were waiting for the right time to tell you, I guess this is as good as any." Joyce came inside and overheard the conversation.

"You're pregnant?" Joyce said with disbelief. "Oh baby! Congratulations! Come here, give me a hug. Patrick is going to finally have a sibling. I'm so happy for you, darling!"

"We are leaving now. We'll keep in touch." Holtz realized they were barging in on a family moment and they tried to sneak out of the room.

"Sure, you've got my phone number so call me if you need anything." Angel said just before they left the room completely.

"Grandma, I'm going to be the big brother!"

"I know baby."

"Would you believe me if I tell you that I think that man is my biological father?" Angel whispered to Buffy.

"What?!" He knew it, Angel knew the truth, it had to be him, he left as soon as he knew Katherine was pregnant, he couldn't stay, he'd arouse suspicion above her, and he would not be able to hide his love for the boy either. He had been her bodyguard, the only one close enough to be the father, the only man Katherine had ever loved.

"I'm not an O'Quinn. Faith was dad's only daughter… that man is my biological father." Buffy didn't know what to say, she just watched him, there is was, the same Greek nose, the deep-set eyes, the width of the shoulder, the powerful stance, she had seen that much personality three times, three generations of the same blood right in front of her. Buffy gasped, noticing how fate seemed to repeat itself endlessly.

Zzz

That very same day Eve and Lindsay had boarded a plane to England, she knew it was a matter of time before they connected her to the crime, so they took a flight to London that morning, from there, she would tour Europe with her fiancé. Lindsay had proposed that morning to her. He hadn't realized his girlfriend, soon to be wife, was the most evil thing in the world, that she had planned everything to get behind the wheel of Wolfram and Heart and destroy Angelus O'Quinn as well as his family, that she would even kill Lindsay himself if that gave her what she wanted.

Zzz

Buffy was released from the hospital that very same day after some coercion from the angry mob of relatives, when she came home, everyone was there, even Wesley and Fred, they've returned from their trip just to be with Angel, they have seen the bad news on the TV. Even Gunn and Cordelia were there, she wanted to apologize to Buffy. Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya even Spike was there, he had taken Drusilla with him, despite how much he hated Buffy, he knew Patrick would be devastated if something happened to his mother. Spike had had nothing to do with the kidnap; he hadn't even known Buffy was kidnapped until the FBI showed up at his place. As soon as he noticed she was fine, he left, it was after all, a very uncomfortable meeting for Buffy and Angel, but he had been there just to be with Patrick, now that Buffy was fine again, he would wait for the next hearing to talk to his son.

Zzz

The end of chapter 14…

**The Kill **

**by 30 Seconds to Mars**

What if I wanted to break  
Laugh it all off in your face  
What would you do?  
What if I fell to the floor  
couldn't take all this anymore  
What would you do, do, do?

Kill  
Break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight  
Beg for the rest of my life  
What would you do?  
You say you wanted more  
What are you waiting for  
I'm not running from you

Kill  
Break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you  
Look in my eyes  
You're killing me, killing me  
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else  
But nothing seemed to change  
I know now, this is who I really am inside  
Falling from myself  
Falling for a chance  
I know now, this is who I really am

Kill  
Break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you, you, you  
Look in my eyes  
You're killing me, killing me  
All I wanted was you  
Come, break me down  
Break me down  
Break me down

What if I wanted to break...?


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 15**

"**Beloved daughters…"**

zzz

**July**** 1st , 2006**

"Wow, we've come to the six months mark; just think that a few weeks from now; you'll be having a brand new baby." The doctor said to Buffy and Angel.

"We know; we are so excited." Buffy said with a huge smile on her face, her pregnancy had been idyllic, after those few episodes of night sickness, she had been great; she had never experienced any complication.

"Buffy and I are very happy about this baby, it's like we've never been truly happy before this. Everything's been great. We are just dying to know the sex of the baby, our oldest son in drilling us for a boy… are we on the right track?"

"Well it seems like today is the day to know that for sure. Your baby is finally in a good position to tell."

"I'm not sure I want to know." Buffy said with a sad expression, she didn't want to lie to Patrick if it wasn't a boy.

"Baby, come on, I hate yellow, besides, it's so nice to know, so we can pick a name."

"Ok, tell us what it is…" Buffy wasn't convinced but she hated yellow too, and she had known from very early that Patrick was a boy, she knew that feeling of wanting to know, so letting everybody else go on in the blue was a fine but Angel deserved to know, he was the other parent involved.

"Well I think you should start buying pink… it's a girl." Angel had been right, he had bet against the lot of them, just to be the opposite side, and he had been right.

"Just what you wanted… Patrick is going to be so sad."

"Oh please, it's his baby sister, as soon as she smiles at him, he'll be pudding too." Angel said as he stared at the screen, he could see the face, the little hands and the shape of the heart and all the internal organs; it was all fine, completely healthy. "Don't you like girls too? They are way easier than boys, you'll have more fun, and she'll be a spoiled little princess. I'll see to that."

"I know, I just wanted to make Patrick happy, he wanted a boy, but girls are nice too. We're suited now, two for two, maybe I should consider getting fixed." Angel hadn't thought of that, was he ok with just one kid, Patrick was his but not like this girl would be.

"I don't know, we are both young, maybe I like odd numbers better…" Angel suggested hopefully.

"Well, I for once agree with Angel, you are carrying very well, maybe a third child wouldn't be such a bad idea, but it's after all your choice." The doctor said as she measured Buffy's bump.

"I'll think about it, we'll see what happens after this little princess arrives." Buffy said dully.

**Zzz**

"Mom, guess what! Angel and I are going to have a girl; I just wanted to tell you first." Buffy said to Joyce on the video chat.

"That's so great, honey! Congratulations. Have you though of the name?"

"We have a bunch that we like, so we'll wait until she's here to name her. You better book an open flight; we'll be needing you here."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Did you go to the doctor? How are the headaches?"

"They are wearing down; he says it's normal, that I'm fine, I'm scheduled to have an MRI next week, just in case."

"That's better, let me know how it goes… how's Dawn?"

"She's doing nice, she said she's thinking about NYU or Yale, she says she loves the east coast."

"Does she? Well tell her she's always welcomed here. You too, you know?"

"I know, Darling. I just love Sunnydale, I don't want to leave this town, maybe when this little angel is born I'll jump across for good."

"We'll keep the guest room ready… hey check this out; I've got a six month bump, can't hide it anymore." Buffy lifted up her shirt and sure enough her belly was protruded like a 'b' round and high, that's why everyone kept saying it was a boy. "Giles is going to freak-out when he sees me!"

"Make no mistake about that! You look gorgeous, darling. I'm going to leave now; I have to go buy some groceries, ok? So I'll be seeing you soon…"

"Yes, of course, don't forget to call me as soon as you hear from the doctor!"

"I won't."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I know, sweetie." Angel picked that moment to walk by Buffy's desk.

"Say hi to Joyce from me." Angel said as he looked-over Buffy's laptop.

"Too late, Honey. She just left. She's happy about the girl too. I was thinking Katherine like your mom, maybe Katie… what do you think?"

"I like Katie, sounds cute, we'll go over the baby name book tonight. Now give me a kiss, I've got surgery, so I'll be here around nine."

"Ok. I know; I won't wait up. I love you, Angel." Angel whispered I love you too, and then he kissed Buffy's bump. He loved been a family, having a daughter in the way, it was all so perfect; he almost feared the sudden perfection of his life…

**zzz**

**La Guardia Airport, July 3****rd**

"United Airlines announces its flight from London is arriving on gate 29B…" announced the teleprompter, to which Buffy and Patrick rose and walked to the respective exit.

"What do you think he did there all this time? A sabbatical it's pretty vague. Don't you think, Mom? I think it's fishy. I wonder if he's got a girlfriend. Grandpa always dates pretty girls." Patrick said in a sassy tone; he and Buffy where waiting for Giles' plane to arrive, he was flying from London to visit Buffy; they hadn't seen each other in over a year.

"Patrick! Stop that! That's your grandfather; you shouldn't talk about him like that." Giles had been planning to come to US for months, but Oxford wasn't agreeing with vacations at the middle of his investigation, his sabbatical had now officially ended. "He was doing an investigation, not picking up girls!"

"What! It's not like he's never done it! We know he's not a monk. Grow up, mom!" That made Buffy laugh, she was been lectured by her son. Buffy was amazed of how much he had changed in a few months. He was great at school, cooperative with the chores, and kind with everyone too! He had never been that good. He even said: he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up, sort of like Angel. And that was truly promising, as far as their relationship went. But Spike was also a Doctor, so it could've worked both ways. The trial for his custody was scheduled to start in august 10th, and Buffy was eagerly waiting for it.

Patrick wasn't an O'Quinn yet. But, he had been pre-signed up at school as Patrick Daniel Summers-O'Quinn. And so far, change hadn't bothered him, he wanted to have the same last name as his brother would, Buffy hadn't told him it was a girl, she didn't have the heart to break his illusions.

"There he is! Be nice, Pea."

"Mom, I told not to call me that in public…I'm Pat, remember? Girls go for that one."

"Whatever you say." Giles walked towards them, carrying his heavy luggage with one hand and waving with the other. As always, he was wearing the classic scholar outfit: cardigan sweater with slack pants and tartan jacket. Buffy was sure he would remove his glasses, and cleanse them with his handkerchief any time soon… as soon as he noticed how pregnant she was.

"Master Giles!"

"Sir Patrick!" They had this particular exchange, as if they were two Lords, instead of grandpa and grandson. It was a game of theirs. They played Giles was an old magician, while Patrick was a knight from the round table; it was all very Arthurian. They called it: The Chronicles of Britannia.

"Hi, _**Pops**_. How was your trip?" Buffy had gotten the habit of calling Giles like that since she was a little girl in pig tails. Since she could hardly pronounce godfather Rupert Giles. She always said pops. And it had stuck, staying as their nick name.

"Not as good as yours… are my eyes deceiving me or are you expecting?"

"Nope, I _**am**_ pregnant."

"I'm going to have a brother." Before Giles could say anything he had to remove his glasses and cleanse them vigorously.

"We don't know if it's going to be a boy yet, but we _**are**_ going to have a baby." Buffy said keeping her eyes down-cast. "That's me and Angel."

"Of course, congratulations on your wedding, I heard it was beautiful, I'm sorry I couldn't be here. But hopefully I'll be there when the little bundle of joy arrives."

"Well, we sure hope so… we'd like you to be grandfather/godfather for this one too."

"Oh, of course, I'd be delighted." Giles gave Buffy a brief hug, eying her like she was some sort of dangerous substance. He couldn't believe a year ago she was on a death row. "I spoke with your mother a week ago, how is she?"

"I haven't seen her since April, I think she's fine." Buffy knew that look, that 'I can't believe it's you' look, people found her some sort of a miracle. "We'll chat with her tonight. She was dying to see your expression too."

"Well, I must say you look great, I trust the transplant went well?"

"More than well, it went great."

"I'm delighted to hear that."

"You, young man, are also looking quite well! Come give me a hug too!"

"Grandpa!" Like Patrick could have resisted his favorite (more like only) grandfather. He ran and gave Giles a bone-splitting hug that made his ribs crack. Pat was a whooping five foot three at his tender near ten years of age, imagine how tall he'd be at 18!

"So, what's new? Tell me everything." Giles said as he walked out of the gate B17, and into the immigration stand.

"Man, a lot has changed! You are not going to believe it. First, mom is going to have another baby! And we moved in with Angel, and then they got married. I have two dogs now! And I started a new school too. Now we live in Catskill!"

"And you are happy about all these changes?"

"I'm happy, Grands. About the baby, and Angel and everything else, we are a family now, we go out sailing, we go to the beach and we never fight, it's all great. _**Now,**_ I would really, really like it, if I had a brother. Can you do that, Mom?"

"No, Darling. I can't assure you that. It could be. We won't know that until a few more weeks. I promise you, you'll be the first to know the sex."

"And then you should tell Angel…and daddy Spike too; he ought to know." That shocked Buffy. Patrick could have never fully understood the full implications of his words. Why would he think Spike needed to know about the baby? Buffy was sure he knew where babies came from. But he thinking Spike could be the father stunned her.

"I will. I'll tell them both. I promise, honey." Giles held his tongue inside his mouth during the exchange. Concerned about how Buffy would pull that off. She'd eventually had to explain Patrick that this baby was his full brother or sister, and more important, who was the common dad in the matter.

"I didn't know you had changed vehicles." They had reached the parking lot. Buffy had taken her brand new Porsche that day, Angel had sold the Benz; it was a bad luck car.

"Well, that's part of the story too. I'll tell you all about it later, mean while, get in there, you are not going to believe how comfortable this thing is…_or how fast_."

**Zzz**

"Angel, you have a phone call from California, says it's urgent, line one." Angel had been inside his office with a patient.

"Take a message, Cordy." He hadn't fired the brunette after all; Buffy had interceded on her behalf.

"I tried to. Says it's somebody named Dawn. And it's pretty urgent." Angel decided to take the call. Buffy had left early that morning to go to the airport, so Anya probably wasn't answering her calls. Anything Buffy's baby sister wanted with him had to be pretty serious.

"Dawn, its Angel. What's the matter?"

"Mom gave me your number yesterday, said I should call you if something happened to her, she said I should call you …before she died. Said—I should tell you first—that you'd know how to tell Buffy…that you'd know how to help me." Dawn had used all the strength she had to make that call to ask Angel to go help her. She was all alone with her mother. She didn't know what to do with her at all.

"OH, Jesus! I'm very sorry, Darling! What happened?"

"She said she had a headache…I-I went to class today…I had my final term, I just couldn't miss it…and when I came back…she was already dead! I don't know what to do, Angel! Please come here! I need you… I need Buffy!" Dawn cried brokenly over the phone, clutching the cell phone between her hands as she hid in a corner of the morgue. Her mother had been taken there by the paramedics.

"Is this your cell phone?"

"Yes…Buffy gave it to me for my birthday."

"I'm going to make a few calls, see what I can do, and then I'll call you, stay in company, go to a friend's house, I'll take a flight as soon as I can…and Dawn—"

"Yes?"

"I'm very sorry Joyce died, I'll be there in no time." Dawn didn't say anything, she just continued crying. She was terribly upset. As soon Angel hung up, he started wondering how on earth he could tell Buffy that her mom had passed away.

**Zzz**

"Angel! I thought you were at work, Hun." Buffy said to Angel astonished. He had arrived home before Buffy, making arraignments to take the red-eye flight to California. He was bringing Joyce to bury her close to home. He knew Buffy couldn't stand a large flight like that. So he had agreed with Dawn to bring her over.

"Giles! It's so nice to see you back in the states. I'm hoping the flight was good." Angel said to Giles as he offered a hand with the luggage.

"Excellent, it was quite comfortable. You have a fine house, Angelus, very good foundations, rather elegant decorations." Giles could barely hide the fact that he thought Angel was a cad. What sort of man knocked-up a sick woman twice!

"Thank you. Buffy picked it up. Darling, I need to have a word with Giles, would you excuse us? It will only be a second?" Angel wasn't particularly keen on Giles either. But at least he respected the man. After all, he was like a father to Buffy.

"Sure, I'll go take a shower. I have a patient scheduled this afternoon. Maybe I'll do get to do some work today. Giles, _**mi casa es su casa**_. Please feel free to ask Angel or Patrick for anything you want." Buffy said and then she climbed upstairs, in a few minutes she was out of earshot.

"Giles, would you follow me please? You too Patrick."

"What's the matter?" The old man noticed Angel's deep under-eye circles and worried expression. It was obvious something bad was going on.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news to tell you."

"Is something wrong with Buffy?"

"No, not with her, Dawn called me a few hours ago…I'm afraid Joyce passed away today."

"Grandma died!"

"She did, son. I'm very sorry. I know this must be terrible, but I thought you had to know, we have to tell your mommy, she's going to need all of our support, yours too Giles."

"Jesus Christ! I can't believe Joyce is dead. I spoke to her last month. She told me she had been feeling a little ill lately. But I never imagined…"

"Nobody does." Patrick had gone pale all of the sudden, and before Angel could notice, he was hugging his son as the boy cried his eyes out.

"It's alright, My Man. Cry if you want. I know you loved her. We're all very sorry." Patrick released Angel suddenly and then he turned to his grandfather, hugging him too. He was mumbling something about his baby brother, but between the wailing and the hiccups he wasn't making sense.

"What's the matter, Son?" Giles said as he rocked the boy slowly.

"Is the baby going to die too?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"My baby brother! If mommy gets really sad, and dies, will he die too?"

"Of course not! Your mom it's not going to die." Angel replied with more bravado than confidence.

"But she always said she'd die a day after Grandma. And she died today!"

"That was before, son. She is healthy now, she meant she didn't want to die before her mother, remember when your mommy was skinny and sick all the time?"

"Yeah…"

"She's not sick anymore. She's got a new heart, and now she'll live a very long time. And you are not going to lose her. But she'll be very sad now. And she will cry too. And we must help her get over it together, right?" Patrick nodded with his head, as Angel wiped the tears from his face.

"Is it wise? To tell Buffy now, she'll want to go there instantly. Perhaps we should make some sort of a plan, warn her that Joyce had been sick lately?" Giles added contritely.

"That's what I thought; except, I would be bringing her here tomorrow. So Buffy doesn't have to go there. I was thinking you'd go with me, Giles. And you Patrick, you should stay and keep your mommy company. I spoke to your aunt Dawn, and she's coming here tomorrow too. What do you guys think?" Angel said to both of them.

"I'll stay. I'll make sure Mom its fine. I'll look after her…and my baby brother too." Patrick said dutifully.

"That's my boy. I'll go tell her then…" Angel finished with dread, as he climbed the stairs; he felt a dire weigh settle on top of his shoulders. He could remember vividly how shaken he had felt when his own mother died. It wasn't the sort of news anyone wanted to give. Especially to a loved one, who was as delicate as Buffy, she would be in great pain. And he, as much as he loved her, could not stop it, nor even dull it. Angel would just have to bear it with her.

**zzz**

"So, you are still going back to work, Baby?" Angel said to Buffy, she had been getting ready to go out again. After all, it was only two in the afternoon, still a work day.

"Yeah. You told me to work hard if I wanted to earn the Porsche… You ok? You look pretty sick right now, you're pale. Are you ill, dear?" Buffy touched Angel's forehead, very mother-like. It was cool but clammy. He was probably stomach sick.

"I'm fine. You look great in baby blue by the way. You should wear that color more often." Buffy was wearing a silk robe, as she sought the clothes she meant to wear.

"Aren't you a wishful one?! Does that mean you'd like the next one to be a boy?"

"Maybe, are we reconsidering it?"

"Maybe… I won't say never. I was thinking we could surrogate, you know? Maybe I won't stand another pregnancy, but we'll rethink about it in a couple of years."

"Sounds like a plan, Anyway, dear. I have to tell you something…come here, sit down for a sec." Angel signaled Buffy to sit down on the bed next to him.

"Ok. Let me just finish here." Buffy thought he was going to talk about something unimportant, maybe something work related, even something domestic.

"OK, shoot me." Buffy sat next to Angel on the bed and placed her hand on top of his thigh, keeping eye contact; she thought he still looked pretty sick.

"Your sister called me earlier today; she said she needed to talk to you urgently. About your mom…" Buffy's throat constricted, a painful lump settling inside her chest.

"What's wrong with her? Just tell me." Buffy read into Angel's expression, she became more anxious instantly. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

"She is sick, baby; very sick. It has spread all over. And doctors can't help her anymore. She has been feeling ill these past couple of weeks. You know about her headaches, the cancer is back, baby. And you should know that this time there's no going back."

"There's more to that. Just tell me what's going on!" Buffy already knew that much, she wasn't stupid; her mother had been living on spare time for months.

"And yesterday … She died, at her home, very peacefully." Buffy stood up abruptly and paced over to the window, she couldn't believe her mom had died the day before and she hadn't known a thing about it. She had talked to her two days ago, if only she had known it was the last time she would see and hear her mother, even if it was on a computer screen, the things she would've said to her.

"We must go …I'll get my bag ready. We have to be there, Dawn needs me there with her." It wasn't exactly shocking, Buffy knew her mom would die soon, but seeing her get desperate broke Angel's heart. She would not brake into grieve. She'd go into action, she would help her sister; she would see everything was ok, before she could cry herself. Buffy had always been the rock for her family, the heroine.

"I'm sorry darling, but, you can't. It's way too risky. Sit down please, what we are going to do is go get her, she'll be buried here, where you can visit her." Buffy didn't listen; she opened the closet and started pulling stuff out of it.

"It's my mom, Angel! I have to go…God, I don't have any black clothes that fit me anymore; I'm huge! God, everything is so wrong!" Buffy said brokenly as she tossed the clothes to floor violently.

"I know how you feel, baby. But I can't let you and the baby be put under any more risk. You need to stay here. Please sit down. You are going to hurt yourself." Angel couldn't bring his hands to touch her, he wanted to, but he couldn't. He felt rotten inside, his wife had lost his mother too. How was he to tell her not to feel bad? When he felt numbed inside himself.

"Are you kidding me? Don't you see, Angel? Dawn needs me. I can just sit there! My mom just died. And I wasn't there with her!"

"I know that too. That's why I'm bringing them over, I'm going to bring your mom here, to be buried in New York, so you don't have to flight over and risk your life unnecessarily,…and I'm going to bring Dawn too, she can't stay there all by herself… Would you let me help you?" Buffy stopped and sat abruptly at the edge of the bed. Tears had begun to stream down her face.

"Oh God! Angel, my mom died and I wasn't there with her! What kind of a daughter am I? She died alone!" Angel wrapped his arms around Buffy, and rocked her, just as he had done with his son a few minutes ago. Her head felt hot and heavy as she leaned it on his shoulders, he had forgotten just how fragile she was.

"I'm sure she doesn't. She loves you very much. And she'll always will." Angel meant Buffy and Dawn, and now his daughter too. Joyce had loved her daughters dearly.

"Would do that for me, Angel? Bring her over here? Bring Dawnie here too? So I could be with them? I can't stand to just be sitting here idly when there's so much to be done." Buffy felt like her heart was breaking down into a million pieces, and then her baby kicked. "Give me your hand… oh God. Did you feel that?"

"I did. I bet she's a little shaken too. Why don't you try to eat something, then you can help me pack my luggage, I'll go call Anya, I'll tell her…"

"Ok, I understand what you mean, I should stay focus; I have a daughter on the way. I shouldn't be panicking." Buffy said wistfully. "At least she knew. I told her it was a girl, and I also told her that I loved her. That makes me feel better, at least she knew…"

"I'm sure she always knew; I'm sorry we never got to patch up all the misunderstandings, but we were friends, even if she didn't like me much."

"What are you talking about? She loved you; she said Patrick was every bit as proud and kind as you are. That's something, she liked you a lot, Angel."

"I loved her, she gave me a wonderful woman to love, come here, give me a hug, even if you are mad at me. I need you to hug me, Buffy." Angel said rephrasing what she had said to him when he saw her at the hospital after the kidnap. Buffy dropped the clothes she was folding and came over towards Angel, wrapping her arms around his chest, she couldn't reach her neck anymore; the bump was too bumpy so she had to hug sideways. "Promise me you'll stay calm, I know you are sad, but we have to think about this little girl we have between us, if you get too upset you could have preterm labor … and the last thing I want is for you to suffer that."

"I know, Angel. Just hug me back, I need you so much. I don't know where I'd be without you…"

"Don't think about that, baby. Let's go downstairs and get something eat, ok?"

"Ok." Buffy followed Angel's lead mindlessly; she was numbed from inside out.

**Zzz**

Buffy hardly ate a thing but she did take two cups of chamomile tea, and then she tried to help Angel get his luggage ready, but before she had even opened the suitcase, she was crying loudly again. It had been too much to handle been so pregnant. Angel tried to comfort her, right until the moment he had to leave; it had been such a devastating blow to all them, even Giles had cried brokenly.

Giles later decided he would go to Sunnydale with Angel and together they would bring Joyce and Dawn over. Patrick had stayed and kept vigil, sleeping beside Buffy all night, and staying with her throughout the next day. He had been her rock. Giving her the strength she so badly needed.

And then the day after that, Willow and Tara had come to stay with Buffy too, Anya and Xander had come in the afternoon and then also had Wesley and Fred, they were making sure she was with company at all times.

**zzz**

**New York, July 4th**

Angel, Dawn and Giles arrived at the airport at the early hour of 5:30 in the morning. The paperwork to get Joyce to New York had taken longer than they thought it would. Buffy had been at home with Patrick, Fred, Willow, Tara and Anya.

Wesley, Gunn and Xander had gone to the airport to help Angel get things ready for the wake. It was a grim and gray day; and a rainy morning to go with it too, and it was also Angel's 30th birthday, he had forgotten all about it. That was a B-day he'd probably never forget.

**Much later than morning****… **

The setting for the mass and the wake ceremony were ready. Buffy had chosen white roses for the crowns. And the reverend would read parts from The Sung of all Songs. It was her mother's favorite bible quote.

Buffy chose not to speak at the ceremony; she wasn't in the state of mind to prepare anything, so Giles did for her. Saying truly beautiful things about how Joyce had brightened up their lives, her kindness, and her integrity, and how much they'd miss her.

Angel had said a few words too, about how she had raised two beautiful, kind girls, and had had the privilege of seeing her grandson grow so well. He also said she was the most loyal and optimistic human being he had ever met.

Even Spike spoke, saying how much he would miss her too. How genuinely brave and courageous she had been throughout this last months of her convalescence. He had said he would never forget her.

**zzz**

Towards sunset, Joyce Summers was buried in her own private mausoleum, just a few feet away from the graveyard chapel. Buffy stood stoically by her sister all day without crying herself or letting Dawn cry either. Their mom had wanted them to smile at her last hour, because she would always smile when she looked down on her daughters from heaven. She had left a letter behind …

_Beloved Daughters,_

_You mean so much to me, your company, you hope and your trust has kept me alive much longer that I should have. You've been my beacon, the light that kept me trusting, the reason I wanted to stay alive as long as I could._

_I regret to leave a letter for the things I should've said in person, I love you, both, each on your own and both the same, more than life and more than death too, I want you to know that I think of you constantly, I know I'm dying, each day that I live is a gift, so I try to contrive as much emotion as I can every time I see you. I know you'll miss me, I know you'll doubt your decisions because you think you don't know what you are doing but you do. _

_Dawnie, you aren't my baby anymore, and yet you'll always be. Be strong, my baby, Buffy needs you, Patrick needs you, and the world needs to know you, you are great. __You'll be an artist, a star, an idol. Your life will be great, trust me, I know it. All you have to do is stay true to yourself. Life won't be perfect, there'll be obstacles to reach your dreams but you will reach them, Buffy and Angel will help you get there. And I will be looking down on you, so smile for me, and be the star I know you've always been._

_Buffy, you'll always be my baby, never doubt that, I've loved you with faith and is with the same __faith, joy and hope that I promise you that you'll life will be beautiful, you have a baby on the way, a husband that loves you, a son that is worth his weight in gold. You have everything you need to be happy, so be it! don't let all these gifts go wasted, I stole that line from Angel, he's a great guy, tell him to look after you, you think you are tougher than everybody else, but you are just as vulnerable as the rest of us, so be aware of your own fragility, don't be the rock, remember that even rocks succumb to the sea, be a wise woman, remember that your life is a gift to all the people that prayed you wouldn't die, your life was a gift to me, don't cry because I've died, smile because you live-on after me, God heard my prayers, you have a new heart and you are a wonderful mother, just remember that when you question yourself. I loved you dearly, and I know you loved me the same._

_Dearest Patrick, if you do read this, is because I'm in heaven, you must look after your mom, your aunt and your baby sister, if you didn't know, now you do, it'll be a girl, beautiful like your mother and willful like__ you, love her and protect her like you would if I was there, she'll need you by her, you and Angel will have such joy in her! Love her for me, this is the only regret I have to this day, I sleep with this letter under my pillow, just in case I die alone. And if you are reading this, is because I've died. Remember me inside your hearts, for I will remember you in mine. _

_I love you all_

_Joyce._

**zzz**

That night, when all the guests had gone home, and Dawn and Patrick to their bed, Buffy cried until her eyes dried-out with the letter under her pillow. Angel stayed with her all along. Much as he tried to be strong, he cried with her too. He understood perfectly well the pain of her loss.

"Do you think I'll be a good mom, Angel?"

"You are a great mother, Beloved; in fact, you are the best. This baby is the luckiest girl in the world." Angel said wrapping his arms around Buffy. She had been sleeping on her side of the bed, unsure of crying or complaining how much her back hurt for all the time she had stood up during the day.

"I was thinking Valeria Joy Summers- O'Quinn, I don't know if you like that name, we haven't putted it down on the list."

"I think it's a precious name, darling. Is strong and proud, it will suit her well."

"I thought you'd like it." He would want anything Buffy wanted in that moment, he wanted nothing but to give her some Joy, and now he would, three months seemed like such a short time to wait for their little miracle. "I'm sorry I didn't get you a present."

"Don't worry, darling. You've given me many presents; this baby and your life are the biggest presents of all. I love you, Buffy. You are everything to me."

"You're my world, hug me tight please, I need to feel your strength."

"Of course, baby, every ounce of strength I have is for you, anything that you need you just say it, I'll always be there for you."

"I love you too, Angel, and I'll always be there for you." Angel leaned his head behind Buffy's shoulder and spooned her closely through the night, he knew she would probably have bad dreams, she was sensitive as any pregnant woman would be, and she was also sad like any person who had been orphaned would, he wouldn't leave her alone in a time like that, he would watch her, hug her, kiss her and support her through it.

**zzz**

Days went by slowly after that, Dawn had moved-in with the O'Quinns, taking the second guest room, since it was application at NYU, she went and she got in, she would start at the fall; she loved art, so she was going into it, and she seemed to have talent too; Angel had been thrilled to hear that. He would love to be related to a famous Summers painter.

Buffy went back to work slowly, taking her time to screen the patients that she thought she couldn't handle in her week state of mind. Thank God, Cordelia went back to Wesley's office. And Angel got a new secretary. One much more efficient and trustworthy…Dawn Elizabeth Summers. She would work with Angel on her free time; she wanted to earn her own money. And she would keep Buffy posted in case Darla showed up at Angel's office again. So it was a win-win situation.

Angel accepted the Summers invasion at home and at work wholeheartedly, he had always wanted a big family. Now Buffy was having a baby girl too, so she would need all the help she could get, besides Dawn was still very young, only 18 years old, barely out of high school. She would still need the guidance of her extended family, now more than ever.

And then as if the universe needed to send all the bad news together, Kate Locksley called, the beast had been sent to the gas chamber, and then he had sold-out Eve McDonald—they have gotten married in Italy by then—so she was now on America's most wanted. Buffy and Angel didn't feel any bit comforted in that thought, he was a criminal but so close after Joyce's death it seemed so painfully ironic.

The end of chapter 15 … we are coming close to the end folks, we now have just two chapters away! So enjoy this one and don't forget to review me!

Extra:

"Into the Sun" By Lifehouse 

It's been a while since you last saw me  
One breaks down and the other ones fade  
These eyes can see the days break  
Too late for the other's mistakes 

Sit down laugh thinking what have we done  
Let me inside  
Is it all over before it's begun  
Please give me some time 

Cause we are running into the sun  
Getting close to something into the sun  
You know that we're falling  
We're falling back into the sun 

I never meant to let you go  
Why did I leave maybe we'll never know  
But I'm a man now broken on the ground  
I'm in need and I think that it shows 

All this time we're going nowhere and we know it  
I was so blind  
All the lights are leading to where you're going  
I'm not far behind 

And now we're running into the sun  
Getting close to something into the sun  
You know that we're falling  
We're falling back into the sun

Into the sun  
Into the sun  
Into the sun 

You know that we're running into the sun  
Getting close to something into the sun  
You know that we're falling  
We're falling back into the sun 

Into the sun  
Into the sun

Into the sun…


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 16**

"**Promises"**

**zzz**

Death is an earthquake of the soul, it shakes, it brakes and then it scars deeply, it makes us test the meaning of our lives, if we have done what we came here for, how much we've loved the people around us and most of all …how we will be remembered when we are gone.

Buffy stared at the window as if it held all the answers to her questions, she was having one of those days where life seemed meaningless, she knew she was depressed, she cried her eyes out when she thought no one was looking, she missed Joyce, she was scared of the trial, she wanted to be positive about things but Spike could get Patrick, and yeah as irrational as those thoughts were, she still thought about them. Life is like that, we are always afraid of the unknown, of missing a step and falling down like a rock, down, down to the bottom of the river, down into the unknown.

Someone noticed Buffy's forlorn expression and sat at her table. "Are you alright, Darling? You look like you are about to cry. Can I get you anything?" Buffy was sitting at the hospital's cafeteria, and the person who had approached her was an intern.

"I'm fine, thank you, I'm just a little winded, long night, hard life… whatever, you know?" Buffy responded in a flat tone, noticing that her interloper was a tall, leggy, blonde with eyes the size of cannonballs, in a shade of sky blue that was quite gorgeous. What could she know about the hardness of life?

"Hell if I know, I'm on the 37th hour of my third shift in two weeks, I know about long nights… name is Julia, it's nice to meet you." She extended her hand and Buffy took it kindly, noticing the perfectly done French manicure and the ring less fingers.

"Hi, the name is Buffy; it's nice to meet you too." Julia in turn noticed Buffy's delicate jewelry, her earrings matched the small tear-shaped diamond of her necklace; her wedding ring was accompanied by a heart shaped pink diamond, and a delicate charm bracelet dangled above the untouched chocolate-milk.

"So, are you here to see a doctor? Or are you here visiting a patient?" Buffy thought about her answer for a few seconds, she wasn't there to do either. She worked there but she didn't feel like saying she was a depressed therapist.

"I'm here waiting for a doctor, he'll be here soon."

"That makes two of us, I'm sort of waiting …_and dreading_ my boss, he's a mean asshole, he makes us work forty hours shifts, while everybody else does twenty-four hours, that's more than mean, that's just plain inhuman, and he's strict with a capital s, you mess around, you're out of the program. I just get incredibly anxious when he's around." Buffy forgot about her problems for a minute and focused on Julia's for a while.

"Woah, he's a slave driver, how does he get around doing that?"

"Well, he's incredibly talented, so we all want to learn from him, and then he's so fucking gorgeous that he makes panties drop with his chocolate eyes." That pointed Buffy as to who was her boss perfectly well.

"Is he that cute? I mean, if he's such a slave driver, why don't you guys just quit? I bet there're a thousand other hospitals looking for interns."

"We are basically masochistic bitches; we want the best we can get, even if we can't handle it, besides half the girls stay just to try and seduce him."

"Is he single?"

"You sound like you are getting interested! He's married, his wife must be a psycho bitch, whenever she calls he drops everything, even the patients," Julia leaned closer to Buffy and whispered. "She must be a first class whore; I've heard he had quite a reputation for sleeping with interns and coworkers …_**until he married her**_."

"Does he… we'll I bet its all gossip."

"You're right, but he _**is**_ hot as hell, that's for sure, and his wife is a lucky bitch, he's not only cute but filthy rich, and a famous doctor too, so… she won the lottery when she snatched him from the rest of us."

"I guess." Buffy replied absently, she didn't think of herself as a lucky bitch, or a first class whore for that matter, she was just a woman, like any of the lot.

"So, you are pregnant, when are you due?" Julia noticed the subject was a bit sore for Buffy so she dropped it.

"Oh, next month, I'm 35 weeks pregnant."

"Is daddy on the picture?"

"Of course he is; he's the doctor I'm waiting for."

"Really, that's great, what's his name, maybe I know him." Buffy was about to make-up a story when none other that the devil Doctor Angelus O'Quinn showed up and kissed her on the lips.

"Julia Winterbourne, I believe you should be at the ER, your shift isn't over just yet." Julia became as pale as the pantry table they were sitting at.

"Doctor O'Quinn, I thought…"

"We just met; she told me she's your intern." Buffy interjected, sharing a conspicuous look with the Angel.

"I'm just about to leave; it was a pleasure meeting you…" Julia said hurriedly, leaving the table like she had seen a ghost.

"Buffy, the name's Buffy; I'll be seeing you around; Julie." Angel said with sarcasm. Julia couldn't handle the staring of both Buffy's and Angel's eyes, she knew she had messed it up big time, she had ranted about the boss… to the boss's wife. So she left, she didn't even said goodbye to either them. She just murmured something about an emergency.

"So you've met the interns." Angel continued as he noticed Buffy's expression.

"Just her, she said some pretty nasty things about you though." Buffy replied as Angel helped her out of the chair. They were supposed to meet there, and then leave to go grab a bite.

"I guess she didn't know who you are."

"No, I'm sure she didn't."

"I have an idea, baby; let's go get some ice-cream; you have that lost-kitten expression I hate so much." Angel ventured, he had noticed how sad she was that day.

"Can it be chocolate chip dough and mint? Maybe some peanut butter too, crunchy would be great."

"That sounds like a plan, baby."

**zzz**

"She said you were a mean asshole, a slave driver and a womanizer too, oh and apparently all the female interns drop their panties when you walk by." Buffy said sardonically after Angel asked her about what Julia had said exactly.

"That's an exaggeration, they are young, and they are seeking for a cheap thrill, seducing the boss makes a great story to tell."

"Don't you know all about it?" Buffy said sarcastically.

"You said it yourself, it's just gossip, I didn't ask one of then to enroll, in fact, I warned them that they were the first batch of a personal experiment. I'm demanding, obstinate and stubborn; they can only do things my way or no way at all."

"What are you going to teach them, exactly?"

"I'm going to teach them about medicine, ethics to begin with, don't think badly of me, I know what I'm doing, in a couple of months, they'll be adults, they'll know about responsibility and dealing with their mistakes, right now all they know about is tourism and modeling."

"They went to college, you know?"

"So did I, baby. I was green once too, I had to suffer the first year as well, it _**is**_ a rite of passage, once you screw up for the first time, you start seeing things in perspective."

"I don't think badly of you, but I wouldn't like to be your intern either." Buffy pulled a paper out of her pocket and showed it to Angel, she had taken her GMD test the day before and she had passed it.

"Wow! You never told me!"

"It was a surprise, I started studying for it right after we got married, I wanted more."

"Well, I don't know what to say."

"It's what I always wanted to do but couldn't; I promised mom I'd live up to my dreams, so I went out to get it. Don't you feel happy for me?"

"I do, darling. It's just that you kept it a secret, and then you are so pregnant, how's that going to work?"

"I don't know, Angel. But I can promise you that I'll try, maybe not now, but in a couple of months, when this little baby is older, I'm definitely going go start this medical career."

"I'm so proud of you. I don't even know what to say without sounding condescending. Except that I love you. And then again, if you were a surgical intern, I could shape you up."

"Like I am a masochist too? I don't think so, and besides, I'd feel sick if you weren't nice to me."

"I wouldn't be mean to you."

"And then there's that! I don't like special treatments either."

"I trust you. If you were my doctor I'd fell secure."

"No, you wouldn't! Mister: _I went to Stanford and then to UCLA_, you wouldn't trust a GMD, besides you are your own doctor."

"I can't self-prescribe. And I do like working with you close by."

"I knew you were going to get like this, that's why I wanted to make it a surprise… I promise you that I'll think about it."

"I promise you that I'll be very nice."

"You are scaring me now."

"If you weren't a cardiologist like me, what would you be?"

"That's a tough question, I don't know, honestly? I would like Neurology and Psychiatry; I just wanna mess around with people's head."

"I see. Well I think a cardiologist and a neuron-surgeon could work fine."

"It could be."

"It could be; it could definitely be." Angel said smiling with a wicked expression on his eyes, and then Buffy giggled too. Next year she's be one of Angel's intern, that had to be exciting for their relationship, and then they will also be raising their little angel, life seemed to be destined to become far more complicated as time went by, Patrick will eventually start high school and then well, he could choose medicine too… and then you know how this endless cycle goes, it just never ends.

**zzz**

"Delta Airlines announces the arrival of flight 5251 from Rome, Italy…"

It was early eleven in the morning when Lindsay and Eve arrived at JFK airport, The FBI had instructed the Interpol to let Eve Macdonald out of Italy and then they would catch her as soon as she set foot on USA.

"Mr. And Mrs. Mac Donald, I need you to come with us." The security guard said to the couple as they escorted them out of the line for the immigration stand.

"Sure, is there a problem?" Lindsay asked out-loud, becoming concerned about the amount of cops and FBI agents gathering around them.

"We just need to have a word with you two; there ain't no problem at all."

"Can I at least get my bags?" Eve asked before she was physically escorted to a separate room.

"We have your bags Mrs. Mac Donald, don't worry about them."

"I'm not transporting any kind of drugs, if that's what you are looking for." Eve said thinking she was framed as a narcomule.

"We don't think you are, relax, this is just for your safety, please step inside the room, we'll be talking to you in a second." She did as she was told but under coercion, she feared that they would use some sort of weapon if she refused to cooperate.

"Mrs. Eve Mac Donald, please put your hands up, I'm Jack Somerfield, NYPD, you are under arrest, anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law; you have a right…" the agent said as he placed the handcuffs on Eve's wrists.

"I wanna see my lawyer now! Lindsay!"

"Lindsay Mac Donald is also under arrest for the kidnap and attempt or murder of Buffy Summers-O'Quinn."

"Lindsay!" Eve screamed as the cop escorted her out of the airport and into a patrol car.

"Everything is going to be alright, darling! Don't panic I'll get help!" Lindsay screamed back to her, he had been handcuffed as well, and he was being taken to a separate patrol car. "I love you, Evey, don't be afraid!" But she was afraid indeed, if she was under arrest it was because the beast had sold her out. If the whole truth came out into the light, she'd be sentenced to many years in prison.

"Lindsay!"

**zzz**

Bryan Adam's song "_**Everything I do, I do it for you**_" was playing on the stereo.

Spike had just popped-open a bottle of veuve clicquot La Grande Damme champagne.

And Drusilla was sitting at the designing table, bent over her latest collection for autumn-winter 2007.

"Here, pet, you look like you need some of these." Spike said as he handled the brunette a tulip glass of sparkly champagne.

"Thank you, darling." Dru said, and then she had a taste of the delicious liquor. "What are we celebrating?"

"Nothing… _as to yet_." Spike replied with innuendo.

"Well, this is a fine champagne. Do you know something I don't?"

"No, I guess not." Spike started kissing her neck and when he reached her earlobe he pulled something from behind Dru's ear, and bent on one knee to offer it to her.

"Oh my god, tell me you aren't doing what I think you are doing." It was a square cut diamond, in a set of pink gold, a lovely engagement ring.

"I am, Dru-Darling! My dearest, you are the woman of my life, I've never loved anyone like I love you… would you do me the honor of marrying me?" Dru was caught speechless.

"I … I don't even know what to say… wow, that's such a beautiful ring!"

"Say yes and you'll have it."

"But I, we hardly know each other! We shouldn't, it's so impulsive!"

"I'm a new man, Pet. I want to marry ye, I don't care if it's fast or impulsive or whatever, I love ye, and I'd be the happiest man on earth if you married me."

"I guess… I do!" Drusilla said with a huge smile and tears rolling down her cheeks. "I do! I do! I'll marry you."

**zzz**

"I don't know who it is, dad." Patrick screamed to Angel, it war near eleven at night when someone started buzzing at the gate.

"Don't open it, wait. Let me go get dressed." Angel was already in bed, wearing only his boxers; he had had a really long day, both Buffy and he needed a good long rest.

"What's all the rush?" Dawn had come downstairs as she heard Angel and Patrick arguing.

"There's a man out there, he wants to get in."

"Let me check who it is first." Angel said crossed with whoever dared violate the peace and safety of his home. "Who is this?" Angel asked crossly over the intercom, they had installed an electronic iron gate and a security camera at the entrance.

"It's been a while, and I know that you are not expecting me, but I need to talk to you, it's Daniel Holtz, the FBI lieutenant that rescued your wife." Angel was genuinely surprised, he thought the man would never look for them; it had been months since they last saw each other.

"When you hear the buzz, push open the small gate, come inside, and please close it afterwards, I'll be right out there." The cobblestone road to the house was about two miles away from the iron gate, for their own safety they never left it open at night and it was locked and attached to a direct alarm to the police, if someone broke in anywhere on the perimeter of the house, a surveillance team would come to the rescue, after what had happened to Buffy, safety was the most important thing for Angel.

**zzz**

"It's so nice to see you, Buffy. Can I call you Buffy?" Holtz said as he came into the house. "You're glowing; I bet you must be pretty close to the date now." Holtz said, extending a shy hand to touch Buffy's bump.

"A month away, it's nice to see you again, please come in." Buffy answered warmly, she had a weird feeling of joy about the man, this was Angel's dad, looking up and close to him, they had a very soft resemblance, hardly there, Angel was the spitting image of his mother, but the air of familiarity was there none the less.

"I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you, but there's something really important that I need to tell you." Angel and Buffy shared an intimate look, they knew what that visit was about.

"Please take a sit, can I offer you anything? Coffee, iced tea, a beer?" Angel said to man as they walked into the living room.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, why don't you take a sit too."

"Ok, oh by the way this is my sister Dawn, this is Lieutenant Daniel Holtz." Buffy said as she introduced the two of them, Dawn had been lurking right behind the couple.

"It's nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you, thank you for saving my sister… again. Can I get you anything? We have cheese cake, I made it, and it's really great."

"Ok, I'll have some." As soon as Dawn left, Holtz felt a knot of apprehension tie itself around his chest; this was his son's house, his daughter in law pregnant, and her sister giving him cheese cake, to sum it all up: this was his long lost family. "We captured Eve today, she was taken at JFK airport; we presume her trial will come soon."

"Oh! We thought you were here about something else." Buffy said feeling silly and worried at the same time.

"Jonathan, I mean the beast, sold out Eve to get a lesser sentence; he's negotiating to change his sentence from death to life in prison, no possibility of parole. And I think he'll get it."

"I was never in favor of the capital penalty." Buffy said with her eyes downcast, she was staring at her round belly.

"I'm sure you have more morals than most people, and you are also with child, but he's also a danger to society, he produces and sells drugs, he kidnaps, rapes and kills innocent women and if that's not enough he has stolen cars and assaulted people, you among them."

"I'm sure justice will work." Angel said placating Holtz's tirade, he could tell Buffy was getting uncomfortable, she was staring at Holtz like he had grown two heads, he could tell she'll snap if he pushed her.

"The point is that I needed you to know these things, so you aren't caught unaware when the media starts swarming around you."

"Thank you, that's a very kind thing of you." Angel said and then he thought twice about what he was about to say, but then he jumped into it. "I know who you are; you should know that I'm aware of what you meant to my mom… and what you mean to me." Angel said, infusing a lifetime of secrets in just a few words.

"Do you? I can't imagine how you realized that. Did she tell you?"

"She didn't have time, you know she died when I was only a kid, I found out through a DNA test, my sister wasn't my sister at all, not trough the father or through the mother."

"Oh, I don't know what to say." And Holtz really didn't know what to say, he hadn't even consider that Angel knew the truth.

"It's alright, we knew you'd come sooner or later. After all, we are family." Buffy said voicing out what they were all thinking but didn't dare say out loud.

"There you go; I brought you some iced tea too." Dawn arrived with the cake feeling the awful silence swamp her. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, darling, come here, sit down with us." Buffy said, motioning her sister to sit beside here. "We are just talking about Angel's dad."

"Isn't he dead?" Dawn replied innocently.

"Well, sort of not, Holtz is Angel's dad." Buffy said point blank.

"Woah! That's heavy! How do you know?"

"I just did, let's reschedule this meeting for some other time, Buffy and I need to rest." Angel said a lot more rudely than he had planned, he was happy that the truth was out, but he was also confused and angry about Eve and the beast. This convoluted family reunion could and would wait, Holtz would need to explain what happened thirty years ago and Angel would have some questions of his own. "I'm sorry if I seem rude, but I'm tired and tomorrow will be a long day."

"I completely understand what you mean, I'm leaving." Holtz said dropping the cheese cake untouched. "Oh, by the way, the DA is going to call you, I'm afraid they need to find a motive why Eve picked you out of the lot, her name I believe is going to be Anabeth Chase, she'll talk to you, I'm sure the investigation will start as soon as tomorrow, as you know is election year, so I bet the mayor is going to take particular interest in the case."

"We'll be waiting for her call." Angel said on the same rude tone.

"You are always welcome here, Daniel. Can I call you Daniel?" Buffy said as she led Holtz back to the door. "I'm sorry about my husband; he's a little neurotic at the moment. He'll be a lot friendlier next time we meet."

"Don't worry, darling. It runs in the family." Buffy smiled warmly to the man and he hugged her. "Take good care of yourself, this is my first grandson."

"No she isn't, that would be Patrick, I'm sorry but he didn't want to come down, he's playing on his x-box, this girl is baby number two for us."

"That's right! I ought to talk to him then, thanks for the cake, I'll see you around."

"Sure."

**Zzz**

"You were so rude!" Buffy said as she slapped Angel on the shoulder, he had been too nasty with the man.

"I'm tired, it's late, and this talk is way too long to have it right now."

"Think about how Patrick is going to get when he's confronted with the situation you're dealing with right now."

"It's different; he's not thirty years old."

"Anyway, I think you should cut him some slack, he's an old man, I bet he has a really sad story too, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we?"

"I can do that much… come here, give me a kiss, god! I'm getting older; this day was way too long. I'm getting tired jus thinking about tomorrow." Angel said as he guided Buffy back to their room.

"We'll make it shorter." Buffy whispered sexily as she caressed Angel's back.

"That's sounds so much more interesting." Angel whispered back, fondling Buffy's ass above her silk pajamas. "It's almost tomorrow, why don't we start making it nicer…"

"Come here, give me a kiss… I wanna feel you close to me." Buffy drawled huskily as she pushed her hands inside Angel's boxers to grab his manhood. "I wanna feel you … _**inside me**_."

"Baby, we shouldn't…" He denied it but his body craved it, he was already hard with the imagination of having her.

"Shut up, just kiss me!" Buffy ordered as she grabbed Angel's face to force him to kiss her.

"I love you, baby; I'm dying to be inside you, but we shouldn't, we could hurt the baby. You know how much I love you, if we hurt her I'd never be able to forgive myself, what if you go into labor because I…" Angel whispered as he caressed Buffy's bump.

"You know I love you, and you know we'll never hurt her, just kiss me…" Buffy commanded as Angel took hold of her footy pajamas and pushed it up, leaving her naked from the waist up, much as he wanted her; he couldn't help feeling weird with fucking her when she was so pregnant. "Please…" Buffy begged with those huge green eyes of hers and Angel couldn't say no to that.

"If it hurts, if you feel anything weird you must tell me immediately."

"I promise." He then pushed her softly onto the bed, so she could lie down and be comfortable, he knew she was tired from the long hours at work. He took hold of her pants, pulling softly down as he kissed her calf. "You have the loveliest legs, baby, soft and golden, delicate and strong at the same time."

"And your skin feels like satin." Angel followed his explorations with long wet kisses along her calves and then up to her thighs, crouching above her to get better access to her apex. When he reached it, he pulled down her underwear and left her totally naked, kissing her protruded stomach. "You are the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world."

"And your breast could not be more perfect." Buffy didn't say anything; she just watched Angel's hungry expression as he climbed her body; he was kissing every curve, every little freckle and every little scar that she had.

"I get lost in your eyes, they are so magical, it's like they are constantly changing." When he reached her face, Buffy closed her arms around his neck, closed her eyes and drew him to kiss her on the lips, Angel surrender, feeling ravenous with the plundering and twisting of her tongue inside his mouth.

"And your lips are made of molten candy." Angel said and then he felt his dick go impossibly hard and swollen, begging to be inside her, he controlled the urge, he didn't want to fuck her, he just wanted to give her pleasure but without adding risks to their baby, so he let go of her honeyed lips and kissed her temple instead.

"You are so beautiful, _A leanan_. You are just perfect. You are my little golden angel." Angel cradled Buffy's head between his large hands with tenderness and fingered her silken hair with the same curious expression of wonderment and hunger he had a moment before. "Your hair is so curious, a little gold, a little saffron and lots of honey."

"It's called highlights." Buffy said jokingly, she wasn't too much into poetry, but Angel loved saying things like that to her.

"I missed you all this years, Buffy. I never knew how much I've yearned for, how much I needed your body, your company, your love; I was a shell of a man… until you came back." Buffy felt shy and vulnerable, like he was opening his heart to her because he was afraid of something. "I just can't imagine how life was before you. Do you know how happy you make me? Do you know that I want you all the time? When I'm not close to you, all I think about is you."

"I missed you too, Angel. I wondered everyday if you missed me half of what I missed you."

"Every minute of every hour of every day, sometimes even more than that, I know it sounds like a lie, but it's the truth." Angel wrapped a single lock of her golden hair around his finger, drawing it to his nose. He loved that vanilla smell of her hair. "You were the dream, the illusion of elusive happiness that wasn't."

"But I am now. Are you worried about the trial? You sound so melancholic."

"I'm worried about a lot of things, that's just one of them, kiss me, just shut me up and kiss me, I don't wanna think anymore."

Buffy drew him to her face and kissed him again, giving him even more passion, Angel understood the hint and started rocking his body against her, but too soon the bump became an obstacle between them, so Angel turned her to the side, so he could spoon her.

"Baby…" Buffy loved the feeling of his large body pressed behind her, spooning her; Angel didn't hesitate, he caressed her thighs and each time little moan that she made he got closer to her sex, until he found her clit, Buffy nearly screamed then, noticing she was already wet he started making little circles around it; Buffy gasped when his finger entered her from behind, she loved that, that's how he got her to come when she was getting difficult, she loved doggy style.

Angel fought for control as Buffy dug her nails on the sheets, rocking her hips to give herself more pleasure, just one finger wasn't enough, she wanted more; she needed more, so Angel added two more fingers and Buffy shuddered with the beginning of her orgasm.

She was wet, and tight, just like the first time he had taken her, soft and warm, silky and yielding. He begged to God for the will to stop himself from fucking her, but as he came in and out of her with his hand, she came, like a train-wreck of pleasure, a cascade of sighs and an inferno of hot gripping contractions that made him wish his dick was his finger, he had to bite his lip to remember his determinations.

"God, that was so good." Buffy whispered afterwards. "But I need you inside me…" Buffy whispered as she wrapped her hand around his dick, guiding him closer to her.

"Baby…" Buffy noticed the hesitation and turned around; she sat up above him and continued kissing him, giving him no quarter to deny his need for her.

"Don't baby me. I want you inside me now." Before he could no, she took her dick and pushed it inside her. "You know you want it." He gasped with the initial penetration, feeling like a teenager, right about to explode from the first thrust.

"God…"

"Goddess…" Buffy said huskily as she bobbed up and down on top on him, she felt her own body start that sweet climb again and she sped up, quickening her thrusts.

"My goddess." Angel whispered back, getting a hold on her hips to settle her on a softer rhythm. After that, he stopped complaining, she was in command, she wanted it, who was he to deny her right when he craved as much as her?

"Jesus, baby, you are so hot and tight!" A few minutes later Buffy started getting hotter and hotter and then she exploded, screaming that sweet release, Angel followed her, shouting his own explosion.

When the riot receded, they both stayed linked, he spooning her, and she with his hand and her hand wrapped together around her belly.

Angel didn't say anything when she started to snore on her sleep; he just stayed there, with his chest pressed to her back. He wasn't ready to sleep yet but he wouldn't disturb her rest because of it.

"Sleep tight, baby; we have long days ahead of us, sleep tight, I'll be here watching your sleep." He said meaning both mommy and daughter.

**zzz**

The DA called Buffy first thing in the morning, they told her that they had Eve under custody and they would pursue the investigation to link her to the crime.

The DA also called Darla, she knew Eve, the beast, Lindsay and Angel, if no one else was found she was the only link to be found in that case. The evidence against Eve was all circumstantial; the only thing holding to her involvement was the beast's testimony.

The call Kate had intercepted at the FBI headquarter couldn't be used in trial, there were no fingerprints found of Eve at the kidnap scene, in a nutshell, there was nothing to link her to the crime as to yet. So the DA knew she had to dug deep into their past to find the real reason why Eve had wanted to kidnap and murder Buffy on the first place.

During the investigation to Buffy and Angel's past, something came up; the D.A. had asked Angel if he had harmed trough malpractice or send to jail anyone, so that they could study the revenge motive and to his surprise, Angel did almost sent someone to jail, many years back.

A doctor, he had been an anesthesiologist, when Angel was a first year resident, he filed a law suit against a Holland Manners M.D. who had been criminally negligent, he had administrated a certain kind of drug to a patient of Angel's who was allergic to it while he was under the influence of alcohol, the disciplinary committee investigated and indeed, the doctor had made a mistake and then he had tried to blame it on Angel, the doctor had been suspended, and that's the last he knew of the doctor.

**zzz**

The District Attorney Investigation team found out a lot more about Mr. Manners, he had a daughter named Eve Manners, now Eve Mac Donald, and he had committed suicide just two moths after his license was revoked, which had been six years back in time. The relatives had sued Doctor Manners for exactly 50 million dollars and he had lost, the clinic had no malpractice insurance, so Holland himself had been charged with the obligation to pay.

Eve had been still in college back in that time, she had been left destitute after that, the defendant lawyers had collected the money from the bank the night Holland killed himself, he had sold everything he owned to make that amount; and yet he knew he was going to go to jail, since he had been criminally negligent the relatives insisted he was tried for manslaughter, and he knew he was guilty.

That probed Eve's motive, she had been seeking revenge all along; she had lost her father, her trust fund and her status because of Angelus O'Quinn. It wasn't a wonder that she was so angry at him, now the problem was proving it.

The DA was hesitant about telling the truth to Buffy and Angel, she was near due date and he was very stressed, this case was going to get ugly real soon, perhaps it was best not to involve them, but they would find out eventually through the news, so Holtz decided he would be the one telling them what was happening, to that purpose he had made an appointment to have dinner next Friday night at a French restaurant. Now it was the DA's duty to find evidence to put Eve behind bars, Holtz on his side, would see to their protection, his family would not suffer ever again if he could help it.

**zzz**

**The end of chapter 16**

**Don't forget to review me! What do you think? Do you like where the final chapter is going? Believe me; you will have a surprising turn of events, so stay tuned!**

**The mean kitten.**

**zzz**

_**To Victoria Maria**__**, my grandmother: you never knew that I loved writing, but I know you loved reading. So know that I will remember you always.**_

_**Vicky.**_

**Extra:**** I know it's a new song and all that, but I love it, it's on her album "The Damn best thing" it makes me feel calm, and that's what I listened to when I finished the chapter.**

**"Innocence"**

**By Avril Lavigne**

Waking up I see that everything is OK  
The first time in my life and now it's so great  
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed  
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling

_[Chorus_  
This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear  
The first time in my life and now it's so clear  
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here  
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling

_[Chorus_

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming  
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling  
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming  
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling  
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliant  
Makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliance  
Please don't go away  
Cause I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by 


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: well folks, this is the last chapter, I hope you enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed writing this story for you… don't forget to review me!**

**The mean kitten.**

**zzz**

**Chapter 17**

"**Revenge"**

"Is yours good?" Holtz said to Patrick, they were having dinner at Le Bistro, a famous stake house in New York city, Pat was sitting next to him.

"It's great. I like it a lot. Mom, don't tell auntie Willow I said that, she'd kill me."

"I wouldn't. I think she'd be mad at all of us." Buffy said as she had yet another bite of her tenderloin.

"The trial starts tomorrow. How's the investigation going, do you have anything new on them?" Angel asked to Holtz, they had been avoiding the subject most to the night, but they had to talk about it sooner or later.

"We have a possible motive, but the evidence isn't very strong, we are trusting on the DA ability to guide the jury."

"You couldn't find witnesses?" Buffy asked, looking concerned and anxious.

"No, not even one; she was pretty careful, she never met with him in public places, and she was never in that cabin."

"What's the motive?" Angel said leaving the rest of his meat untouched.

"You ruined her life, Eve is Holland Manners only child." Angel couldn't believe that, he had never even imagined that could happen. "He lost the civil demand, he had to give the relatives 50 million dollars, and seeing that he would never be a doctor again… he killed himself. Eve was starting college; she lost everything thanks to that."

"Jesus Christ. That has to count for a pretty powerful motive."

"It does, but she has never done anything to you directly."

"She's a clever bitch." Angel swore angrily. "I'm sorry Patrick, do not repeat that word."

"I wasn't going to. So this Eve, is she the one who kidnap my mommy?"

"We think so, baby. But we can't prove it." Buffy answered truthfully, she had promised she'd never lie to her son again.

"You'll find a way." Patrick said directly to Holtz, holding his eye leveled with the alleged grandparent, Holtz saw the power and the hope in those eyes, same as Angel, he had to find a way, and he would, Eve will not go unpunished.

"I promise you I'll try, Patrick. After all, it's my duty."

"I heard you are Angel's dad, is that true?" Patrick said changing the subject to something even more dramatic.

"Ah…yes, more or less. I'm his father but he didn't know, I myself didn't know about it until a few years."

"How did you?" Angel said bitingly. "I can't imagine my mother crawling out of the grave to reveal her biggest secret."

"It was something like that, you see I was a secret service agent thirty odd years past, I was instructed to protect your mom while your father was abroad, she had been threatened several times already."

"How was she?" Patrick interrupted with his natural child curiosity.

"Oh she was beautiful, she was a sweetheart, kind and strong at the same time, she had dark brown eyes, long auburn hair and the sweetest smile in the world." Holtz felt like he could turn back time for a second, see her face smiling at him, see her smiling, and hear her singing her favorite song, she was the long lost love of his life.

"I loved her dearly, she was so lonely when I was sent to watch her, Quinn left her alone in a country full of strangers all the time, he forced her to leave her family behind in England, and then he locked her up in a mansion."

"They weren't the happiest couple in the world, ye know? I did not break their home, there was nothing to break, I barely tried to comfort her in her loneliness… and I ended up falling in love with her."

"It was a temporary post, I left after three years of faithful service, I didn't know she was with child, I knew years after. When Mr. O'Quinn visited me, you see he trusted me; he had been a good boss, despite the obvious rift between us. He showed me his son, you most have been around seven, and you were the spitting image of her. I didn't think you could be mine."

"She died shortly after that, in that awful accident, I swear to you my heart broke into a million pieces, I was already married by then, I had a daughter, and yet I left it all to come back to USA, she had left a letter for me, you must understand my nature, I didn't want to read it, I had suffered just knowing she was gone, whatever feelings she had yet to share needn't be heard, not when my wife was expecting another child, it would've been hard to explain to her…"

"So I stashed the letter away, in a safety box, along some important possessions, like my father's honor medal from World War I, my father died three years ago, he had Alzheimer and he didn't remember anything or anyone, but he wanted to be buried with his medal, so I went to get it… what was my surprise when I finally read the letter, to find out that you were not an O'Quinn, that she was positive you were my son. I could no believe me own eyes, I read the letter a thousand times, and I still don't believe It." Pausing for a dramatic feeling, Quinn pulled the letter from a medal box and handled it to Angel. "I brought you the letter in proof; I trust you'll recognize her handwriting."

"I do." Angel could say nothing else, there it was, the undeniable proof of his fatherhood, her confession written by her own hand.

"You said you have more kids?" Buffy asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I do, a daughter and a son, Katherine and Jacob, they are in England with their mother, we got divorced a few years ago."

"Oh, I guess they won't know about Angel."

"I told Katie, my daughter, she promised to keep me the secret, but she also said she wanted to meet you, I told her I could never face you, knowing that you would hate me."

"I don't hate you." Angel said softly, he was still staring at his mother's letter. Holtz saw his eyes go shiny with unshed tears. Angel had very few things of his mother, his father had gotten ridden of most of them when she died, he didn't want a shrine to be erected at his house; he hardly ever took Angel to the cemetery when he was a kid. "Thank you for bringing this to me, I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it, it's meant for the both of us." Once again the silence gathered them, and then a painful sigh came, it was Buffy, she couldn't bear that much emotion.

"God, I'm sorry, I just feel so overwhelmed, seeing you two like this… it makes me miss mom so much."

"Oh Buffy we are so sorry, come here." Holtz said, giving his daughter in law a tight hug.

"Don't cry, baby; come here, it's alright, everything will be alright, I promise you." Angel meant a lot more than just Joyce and Holtz, he meant the trial, the future, everything. Angel and Buffy had the rest of their lives in front of them, and Holtz had now officially become part of that future, he was another piece of the puzzle yet to unveil to Patrick … in the not so distant future.

"I know."

**zzz**

**August 10****th**

**The beginning of the end**

"Baby, wake up, it's time." Angel said to Buffy as he softly padded her back, she had to get up; they had the trial for Patrick's custody that day.

"Five more minutes… please."

"We'll be late, I already let you over-sleep an hour… its seven thirty."

"What! For Christ sake's, Angel; we are dangerously late!"

"It's easy, baby, get up, get dressed, eat and then we'll leave, you can do that in twenty minutes, I'll go fix you breakfast." He was already dressed, and he eaten and driven Patrick to school.

"Shit, Angel, I'm so late! You left me sleep too much."

"Just hurry up and stop complaining!" Buffy was 38 weeks pregnant that day, the baby could come any day, and Angel had been instructed to let Buffy rest as much as she wanted, the last few weeks were the most taxing for the mother.

**zzz**

They weren't that late after all, trial started at ten am, and they were there with ten minutes to spare. In a play of destiny it turned out Eve's trial was ending that very same day, in the same courthouse.

The media saw Buffy and Angel and they ran to them, flashes started going through the street, they had to run inside and then officers sealed the room to strangers, the hearings will not be open to the public.

Buffy had to use the ladies room, and to her surprise, she met face to face with Darla as she was coming out of the restroom.

Darla gasped when she saw Buffy's near nine months bump. "My God you are huge!" Buffy didn't take the comment kindly.

"My God you're old and saggy!" Darla knew it wasn't true, well not the last part at least, she had a strict diet and she exercised everyday. But she was old, she was over 35 years old, practically ancient for California standards.

"Who's the father?" Darla questioned sardonically.

"My hubby, you know him, he's your ex." Buffy answered in the same biting tone.

They stayed there staring at each other until an officer walked by them, motioning Darla to reenter the room, she was next on Eve's case.

"It was nice seeing you, Fluffy."

Buffy didn't have time to answer back. She left, her own hearing was starting.

**zzz**

The room was hot as hell, the AC wasn't working, Buffy felt like the room was closing in on her, she had a nagging pain on the base of her spine, the chair felt like it was made of nails, she had testified and then the minutes had been stretching endlessly, like an episode of the Twilight zone.

She felt like she was melting into the leather of the seat, when it came Spike's turn to testify, she hardly heard a word of it.

Spike showed for his case that he had been rehabilitated and was now clean, he didn't drink anymore, he didn't smoke and he had even committed, he was engaged to Drusilla and they were going to get married next month, they were living in a nice condo in Soho, and they had decorated a room for Patrick. He was also seeing a shrink twice a week, he was taking anger management classes and he worked 9 to 5 in a private practice, he no longer did the night shift at the ER.

To all these changes the judge decided that Patrick had a right to see his father once a week, when it was time to read his verdict he said:

"In the matter of Frazier vs Summers O'Quinn, I fail in favor of Buffy Summers O'Quinn, the plaintiff, she is to get full physical custody of Patrick Daniel, who is to be renamed Patrick Daniel Summers-O'Quinn, but I do also encourage Mrs. O'Quinn to grant William Frazier one supervised visit a week, so as to give the child stability, until his change of behavior is proved absolutely, you have the power to decide when and how he will meet Patrick, when things are stabilized a schedule for holidays might be concerted between both families, until then Mr. Frazier is to be supervised by a social worker."

Buffy was then formally granted physical custody and a social worker was assigned to the case, and together they will get to decide when the visits will stop being supervised. The boy's name was changed to Patrick Daniel Summers-O'Quinn, and the birth certificate was reissued, he became the son of Buffy Ann Summers and Angelus O'Quinn.

**zzz**

**In the other hearing room…**

Eve claimed that the beast had framed her, they had dated a couple of times in the past, she had told him a great deal of private things, he had used them to get back at her, she never loved him, she couldn't love a criminal, she had nothing to do with Buffy or Angel, she wasn't a drug addict and now she was happily married, that was just a frame, she was innocent. They couldn't prove anything against her; she had a perfectly clean record, not even a speeding ticket on her past. She was the perfect citizen, how could the jury think she was the master mind behind The Beast's cruel plan?

Eve also cried, even though Buffy wasn't there, she begged for her forgiveness she never meant to cause her any pain.

To everyone's surprise the jury deliberated for twenty minutes…

"Do you have a verdict?" The judge asked firmly, even though he was as shocked as the rest of them, Eve was a masterful player of emotions. If Daniel Holtz hadn't warned him she would act like that, he would've fallen for it too.

"We do your honor. We fail in favor of defendant Mrs. Eve McDonald, we declared her not guilty of the charges …" The beast was in room, so were Darla, Lindsay and Lilah, not one of them could believe it; it was as if a collective illusion had taken place.

The beast was the most shocked of all, he could not believe she had lied like that about him, he hadn't seen how she would double-cross him at the very last moment, but he had betrayed her as well, it was all in the name of cold hearted revenge, and he had lost it all, he would still die in a rotten cell, and she would walk away free as nothing with Lindsay MacDonald of all people in the world.

The guards were escorting Jonathan out of the room, when a sudden rain of camera flashes blinded them; the beast seized the moment to attack…

"Bitch!" He took a gun from one of the guards; he released the safe and shot it. The smell of powder invaded the room and a veritable frenzy took place.

"Buffy!" Buffy and Eve were in the same range, to Angel and everyone else it seemed like he had shot Buffy, someone had jumped on top of her to protect her, a reporter it seemed, but in truth Jonathan had clearly shot Eve.

A few minutes of insanity followed, Angel fought the mob to get to his wife, he saw people covered in blood and his heart stopped, hi swallowed lead and begged to God to be someone else's blood.

"Angel!" Been so small and the people around her so crazy, Buffy felt cornered, someone had plastered her to the floor, her head had made a sound smack against the marble of the courtroom, she screamed trying to get up, but people were still running around her.

Like a vengeance demon Angel pulled people away from her, when he did reach her he sighed heavily.

"Are you alright?"

"No! I'm so scared! Get me out of here!"

"It's ok, baby. I'll get you out of here right now; here wrap your arms around me." She wasn't injured, thank God, she was just scared, Buffy placed her arms around his neck and he carried her up and out of the mob, as if she weighed nothing.

Buffy and the beast locked eyes again in that moment, he was being attacked with sticks and shockers, Buffy gazed back at Angel and pulled him closer to her, she didn't want to be there, Angel noticed her pale face and sat her down in a bench for a second.

"Let's go…" Buffy whispered breathlessly.

"I think I should try to help her at least." Angel had seen paramedics trying to keep Eve alive, but the shot had gone in and out of her head through the back of her neck, splashing people with blood and bits of her brain, it was a terribly disgusting sight, a doctor wasn't required anymore.

"She's dead; bullet went right into her brain." Buffy took Angel's hand and placed them around her belly. "Besides, I need you to take me to the hospital; I think I'm having contractions."

"Are you sure?" Buffy moaned painfully and sure enough her uterus contracted for almost two minutes, and then a gush a clear fluid came.

"I think my water just broke."

"Oh God, we have to leave! Stay calm, baby; we'll be out of here in a minute." Angel said, even though he was the one losing his mind.

"Ok."

**zzz**

It wasn't as easy as he thought, the street had been closed, people were running scared to and fro, and the only ambulance was taking Eve, it took him a while but he convinced the judge and several guards to let him out through a back door window, they had to take a cab to Mount Sinai, the closest hospital available.

"Are you still having contraptions?"

"Of course, they are five minutes apart! Where's the anesthesia?"

"It's coming, baby. Be patient, he'll be here in a minute." To prove that contraptions hadn't stopped another one came, Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs, so maybe the anesthesiologist would hurry up, she was already 6 centimeters dilated if he waited to much, she wouldn't be able to get the epidural.

"Oh! I've forgotten how tough this is, I hate you! God men know shit about pain!" Buffy kept feeling the painful contractions and the pressure of the baby's head on her hip bones, she though about the irony of life, Eve died and her daughter will be born. "Is it too late, to consider a programmed C-section?" Buffy asked Angel when another grip overtook her.

"A little…you're doing fine, baby. I know you can do this. You are the toughest woman I know."

"You're right. I can do this…_I think_…what if I can't!"

"You can and you will."

"You are so optimistic, what if…"

"Baby is in good position; you are dilating faster than anybody else, what on God's name would change the course of this? Nothing, you are having a normal birth, deal with it!" Angel spoke harshly, thinking that she needed someone to reassure her, but then she started crying … long, endless tears came down her face and that made Angel feel like a bastard.

"You are so mean… you don't understand how painful this is … or how scared I am."

"Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be cruel. I'm stressed too."

"You are an asshole! Leave, get out!"

"What?"

"Leave, I said get the hell out, you don't deserve to be here… I want my mommy!" Angel didn't know what to say, he had never seen something so confusing, he was about to leave the room when she pulled him by the sleeve.

"Don't you dare leave me alone here! I'll kill you, I'll fucking cut your dick off ow God …" Before she could continue ranting another pain came, stronger, longer than the others, and another one almost on top the last, the last stage of labor was beginning.

Thankfully, the pain killers arrived just in time; Angel had never seen such a radical change of behavior in Buffy. She went from lunatic to sensible in a flash; she started making phone calls, telling people what to do, including Angel. Willow had to go get Patrick, Tara had to find Dawn, she had ran-out of battery, she was expecting Buffy for lunch, and she wouldn't see her. Angel had to go buy the first baby clothes since going home to get them was impossible, he had to buy some things again, he still had time, it would tale a few more hours.

zzz

**2****:45 pm**

"Definitely she's 100 effaced. I don't know about the dilation. I'd say 8 centimeters…and the head is not down yet…it will take a while still, I'd say around 4 pm, do you guys want to bet?" Said the nurse watching over Buffy, her Ob/Gyn was getting everything ready.

"No, not really, we are barely hanging here."

"Don't worry, everything will be ok, she's in good hands."

"I never doubted that." Buffy said, lacing her fingers with Angel. "We'll bear it together."

zzz

**5: 45 pm**

**6 hours after arrival**

"The pressure, it's getting really unbearable, I think it's time." Buffy was heaving profusely; she had finally reached those famous 10 centimeters.

"Ok, you know what to do… wait for the contraption, and start pushing, don't think about anything else, I'll worry about everything else, you just concentrate on pushing." The doctor said to Buffy in a cold professional tone.

First try came and went, it wasn't so easy, the head had to come down, twist and then come out, the baby was slippery and whenever Buffy stopped pushing it slid back inside, the didn't call it labor for nothing.

"You need to breath and then you need to push harder." The doctor told Buffy angrily.

"I am pushing real fucking hard! My heart feels like it's going to explode, my chest is breaking apart; don't forget I'm not as strong as other women. I'm trying my best here!"

"I know, that's why I need you to get this over quickly! Pay attention to what I'm saying; press your shin to your chest and push."

She tried again, holding her breath in longer, in hurt like hell, not just her cervix but her chest, her head and everywhere else.

"Doctor, she has low oxygen saturation. And she has temperature." Angel didn't like what the nurse said, so he pulled the doctor aside and away from Buffy.

"She's getting tired, and you are getting on my nerves, you better treat her like someone who needs special care…or I'll break each and everyone of your fingers, and trust me, I'll make it look like an accident." The Ob/Gyn didn't doubt Angel was capable of it for a second, so he complied quietly.

"Mrs. O'Quinn, I'm going to put you an oxygen mask, we'll wait a little while, so you can gather your strength back and then we'll try again."

"Ok." Buffy answered painfully.

**zzz**

"Just breath…put your hand down…there's the head…see that dad…just breath, it'll come out when you push again." The nurse said, speaking low and calmly to Buffy, she was scared and that made her fear the pain.

Buffy panted, trembling until she found the position to press her shin against her chest and push. "There, that's a great push…relax your legs…take the knees as far back as you can…give her a hand with that, daddy." Buffy writhed, letting her head hit Angel's shoulder. It was sliding out, causing her a terrible burning.

"Oh dear lord, It burns terribly!"

"Just relax yourself…don't think about it."

"You are doing great, baby…look down." Angel said tenderly. Buffy opened her eyes hesitantly, and in less than ten seconds the head crowned, making Buffy gasp in surprise as it twisted slowly, and in the next push, the baby started coming out between bouts of screams.

"Don't forget to breath, Buffy…that's it…give me your hands…there's your baby…that's your girl! Pull her out!" The nurse had been a lot more helpful and a great deal nicer than the doctor, she had actually talked Buffy into it. So smothered in blood and whitish fluids but rosy with life, Valeria Joy O'Quinn came out, wide eyed and shining, big and round like a movie baby, with a head covered in dark fuzzy hair and eyes wide with curiosity. Buffy pulled her out by the armpits and rested her above her chest, astonished in the size and perfection of her baby.

"Congratulations! Look at her…here it comes the cry…oh!" she mewled like a kitty cat, crying in crescendo until her lungs dilated and she started breathing normally, the nurse had removed the fluid from her airways, and made sure there was no meconium(first baby poop) on her face.

"Oh my God! She's so perfect! Oh Angel, look at her." Angel was speechless; he had begun crying without even realizing it. She was just perfect.

"Oh, Buffy! She's so… thank you! I love you!" The doctor hadn't cut the cord yet, so the baby was still connected to Buffy. She pressed her against her breast, and helped unto her nipple, to pull the milk. Buffy planned on breastfeeding. And the baby girl latched onto it easily.

"Would you like to cut the cord, daddy?" Angel suddenly remembered who he was. That he wasn't just the spectator of a miracle.

"Not yet, let's wait a little longer." He touched it lightly, it was thick as his fingers, pulsing with life, it was the connection between Buffy and his daughter. He didn't want to cut it, he was amazed by it.

Seeing that Angel wouldn't cut it, the nurse cut it herself. "Time to push again…gotta let go of the birth sac." Buffy was told to push really hard, so nothing stayed inside, and she did, she was tired beyond her imagination, 7 hours short of her arrival she had given birth to their daughter.

**zzz**

Hours after, Angel stared at the nursery, she was in there, in her little pink outfit, moving her hands restlessly, she was awake and fussing, she was probably hungry; Patrick was standing next to him, wondering about the future.

Suddenly the nurse came and took her, Angel followed her never blinking an eye, afraid she'd take her away, they came out with together. The nurse stood in front of Angel, Valeria was indeed fussing. "I'd like to hold her, please." Angel said in a very soft tone, almost pleading.

"Of course, Daddy! Here, be careful with the head." Angel stretched his arms and grabbed his daughter with supreme care. She was a cherub, seven pounds of auburn-haired, chocolate-eyed, perfection. He had guessed her wrong. She was just like Patrick, another miniature copy of Angel, he had hoped she would look like Buffy, but she didn't, and he was a little sad but the real she was just as surprising and beautiful.

Angel took her to Buffy's room, Patrick followed him close behind, he wanted to hold her, But Angel would only let go of her to give her to Buffy.

"What do you think?" Buffy whispered into Angel's ear when the baby started sucking her breast, he was caught staring, amazed and paralyzed at the same time.

"Oh, baby! She's the most—it's not even beautiful—the most _angelical_ thing I've ever seen! Too bad she looks so much like me. I would've wished her to have yours looks."

"Don't say that. You make me beautiful babies. I think she'll look like your mother."

"She will. You shouldn't talk, try to rest. You had such a long day." It was hard to believe so much could change in less than twelve hours of someone life.

"We both did." Buffy kissed Angel's forehead, he had closed his eyes for a second, tired beyond relief. "I love you, Angel."

"I'm really proud of you, baby. Thank you. You are the toughest woman I've ever met. You've made me a very happy man. I can't even begin to express how I feel. I love you so much, Buffy. And I love you too, my little princess." Buffy smiled tenderly and kissed their daughter on the head at the same time as he did.

"Your welcome, now go make me a happy woman and bring me something to eat. I'm starving!"

"I don't know if I can do that. I'll try; I think you aren't supposed to eat."

"You are a doctor, you can change that. Go ahead, and get something for you too, you look terrible."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do."

"Angel, don't you think we're even after this?"

"Even? Oh you mean because of Patrick? I'll tell you that after the next 3 or 4 babies."

"What!"

"I'm just kidding! I love you, rest; you need to sleep so we can go home tomorrow."

"God, yes! I'm dying to go home, I violently hate hospitals!"

"I know. We'll be home soon you and me, and our kids, God, I never thought I'd be saying that. Home with Buffy and the kids, that sounds great."

Buffy didn't say anything back, she stared at him and then at Valeria, they looked a lot alike, and she also reminded Buffy of Patrick, time had been kind to them, history had been fixed, everything was in a good place now, even things that weren't good. Everyone had gotten what they deserved, not in vane the bible says that there is a time for everything and a place for all things in the world. Well, Buffy, Angel and their children had found their place; they had found their thread of hearts.

**T****he end**

**Please send feedback!**

**There's an epilogue so go look for it!**

**zzz**

**Whatever it takes**

**By lifehouse**

**(From their new album "Who we are" I love this song! Enjoy it with me.)**

**A strangled smile fell from your face  
It kills me that I hurt you this way  
The worst part is that I didn't even know  
There's a million reasons for you to go  
But if you can find a reason to stay**

I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together  
Whatever it takes

She said if we're gonna make this work  
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts  
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see  
She said like it or not it's the way it's gonna be  
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
And give me a break  
I'll keep us together  
Whatever it takes

I know you deserve much better  
Remember the time I told you the way that I felt  
And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself  
Let's hold onto each other above everything else  
Let's start over, start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together  
Whatever it takes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Epilogue:**

I'm sure you are wondering what happened after Valeria was born, well Buffy and Angel had less sleep, less sex and they were late to everything.

Holtz became an honorary grandparent, he started coming over every weekend, and Lee (Valeria's nick name until she was able to pronounce her own name) called him grandpa. One day he decided to take his other kids visiting and they all met for a barbecue, they O'Quinn's became a larger family after that.

When Patrick became 16 years old, he took one hard look at his birth certificate and realized who his real father was, he wasn't shocked, he knew Angel and realizing who he was, went along a lot easier that Buffy and Angel had ever imagined, he was actually pretty happy that Angel was his father since Spike and Drusilla had gone to east coast and they hardly saw each other any more.

Buffy started her internship the year after, she was assigned to another doctor, since working with Angel would be a conflict of interests; she was pursuing neurology.

Patrick was the best student that year, and then he joined the baseball team and he became a great athlete, so much he represented his school often.

Willow and Tara adopted a son from Cambodia, they name him Christopher ray; he was the same age as Lee so they clicked together easily. Does Lee and Ray sound sweet together or what?

Anya and Xander got divorced, and they moved back together because they couldn't live apart.

Dawn became a famous painter rather quickly; she started dating a doctor, just to keep up with Buffy's tradition.

Darla and Lindsay got back together, they couldn't stand each other, but together they had a lot more fun pissing each other off.

The beast died of a drug overdose, he had presumably committed suicide.

Giles moved back to USA and started teaching history at NYU again, he had several girlfriends but nothing was serious.

Buffy and Angel did live happily ever after, so much they had another nine months surprise shortly after Lee.

**zzz**

**Five years after**

Patrick was 17 years old, Lee was 6, and the youngest was 2, his name was Connor Alexander Summers-O'Quinn. That day Patrick was going to go out with his girlfriend, she had been dropped at his house, so she would meet Buffy and Angel.

"Wow you look just like your father." Jessie said as she saw Angel coming down the stairs to meet her, he was carrying Connor, Buffy was going to take a bath and he was supposed to feed him and then put him to bed.

"I know, good looks run in the family, don't they, dad?"

"Hey look there's my little bother, he's a menace in two legs; he's already stolen a girlfriend from me. His name it's Connor, say hi midget." He waved a hand to say hello, but he didn't drop his bottle.

"Wow he's so cute."

"Just like I was when I was that age, come on we've got some homework to do." Patrick said cutting off the little brother scene, he knew girls tend to love his little brother… more than they love him.

"Right, Patrick, don't forget your curfew is at one am." Angel reminded his son; Angel couldn't get out of his head the night Patrick had been conceived.

"I won't, dad." They were going to study at Jessie's place so Angel knew he'd be a little late, and she'll come home a little tipsy, he had been 17 once too.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Jessie." Angel said as he shook the girl's hand.

"The pleasure was all mine; Dr. O'Quinn."

"Oh please you make me feel senile, call me Angel." Angel said flirtatiously.

"Dad, are you hitting-on my girlfriend?"

"Maybe… I'm kidding, you guys have a good evening, don't forget to call me if you are going to be too late." Angel leaned-in closer to the girl and whispered into her ear: "I look just like him when I was that age."

"Well lucky me. I'll see around Dr. O'Quinn."

"Of course, you guys be careful, ok?" He said meaning that Patrick should never forget to wear a condom, like he had.

"We will, bye, Dad." As Angel waved Patrick goodbye Buffy stood on the veranda watching him form above, he was the most handsome and desirable man on the world, and he was all hers.

He look sexy and responsible at the same time, there was something about a man that could fuck you a thousand different ways and still take good care of the kids at the same time that made her heart go warm.

"Wanna come upstairs, daddy?" Buffy shouted from above, and Angel turned his face to look at her.

"I'll be there in a minute, darling." He thought she was the most beautiful woman on the world, his own golden Angel, with her long locks framing her face and the soft light shinning behind her she looked positively angelic, he couldn't wait to go upstairs and make love to her for the rest of the night. He had official become the happiest man on earth.

"I'm going to tell you a little secret, Connor. I love your mommy with my whole heart, don't tell her ok. You look like you are going to fall like a rock in a little while, that's great, finish your bottle, I ain't got no rush." Angel gazed back up and Buffy blew him a kiss. Lee was already sleeping and soon enough they would have each other again...

**The end!**

**I couldn't end the epilogue without a song! So…**

**Yellow**

**By**

**Coldplay**

Look at the stars,  
Look how they shine for you,  
And everything you do,  
Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,  
I wrote a song for you,  
And all the things you do,  
And it was called "Yellow".

So then I took my turn,  
Oh what a thing to have done,  
And it was all "Yellow."

Just ask,  
oh what a thing to have done,  
Turn into something beautiful,  
You know, you know I love you so,  
You know I love you so.

I swam across,  
I jumped across for you,  
Oh what a thing to do.  
Cos you were all "Yellow",  
I drew a line,  
I drew a line for you,  
Oh what a thing to do,  
And it was all "Yellow."

Just asked

Oh what a thing to have done,  
Turn into something beautiful,  
And you know,  
For you I'd bleed myself dry,  
It's true,  
Look how they shine for you,  
And all the things that you do.


End file.
